Shades of Pleasure: Five Stories of Domination and Submission (30 page)

Instead, she headed empty-handed straight back through the
reception area, through the warehouse, past some stacks of crates and boxes, to
the dungeon. The empty dungeon.

What the hell?

Something squeaked behind her, and she swiveled around.

“Where did that come from?” she asked, breathing a sigh of relief.
Standing before her was a super-sized replica of the box Damon and Trey had
sent to her house that very first day. She just knew her guys were in that box.

Too bad she’d never figured out how the smaller version
worked. Neither had Sandy.

The box stood roughly five feet tall, not quite as high as
her refrigerator. The lid was freaking heavy. The hinges stiff. She struggled
to get it open.

The box was empty, as she expected.

“Well, hell.” She fought the lid back down then gave the
big, stupid, infuriating thing a long glare. “I don’t want to spend the night
trying to guess how to get my guys out of this silly contraption. I want to
spend it with them!”

She walked around the box’s perimeter then pushed open the
lid again, hoping it was just a matter of closing and reopening the box, like
it had been the smaller version.

No Damon. No Trey.

“Haven’t I had enough of the magic stuff, guys?” she called
out. “Come on, let’s play another game, something more fun, like ‘tie up the
girl’.”

Nothing.

She shut the lid, took another trip around the box, using
her fingers to search every inch of all four sides. She found no secret button
or lever.

Growing more frustrated by the second, she walked back into
the reception area and dragged a chair back to the box. Again, she pushed the
lid up. This time, however, she climbed up on the chair to get a good look at
both the lining of the lid and the padded interior of the box.

A little scared, she climbed over the side and dropped
inside. The floor was hard, solid. She walked back and forth, stomping her
feet, searching for the trap door she just knew had to be there.

She found it!

The floor gave way beneath her feet and the world around her
became a blur of colors for less than two racing heartbeats. She landed on a
huge padded cushion. The trap door above her closed with a dull thud, closing
her in pitch black so thick she could practically taste it. There was no sound
but the resonant pounding of her heart and the whistle of her gasping breaths.
A soft, scented waft of air caressed her cheek, and out of pure instinct, she
turned toward it. “Damon? Trey?” The shadows swallowed up her voice.

Shivers quaked up her spine, despite the fact that the
darkness had always been an escape, the most reliable source of protection.
She’d learned at an early age that the monsters didn’t hide in the shadows.
They walked in broad daylight.

She fingered the velvet-covered walls around her, stood on
her toes and reached as high as she could, trying to find the latch for the
trap door. Still, she remained trapped.

This had to be part of the plan. But why? Why’d Damon and
Trey want her in this stupid dark pit? This illusion was nothing like the rest.

“Is the dark still your refuge, Blair?” one of them
whispered. Damon, it was Damon.

“Not as much as it used to be.”

“Why are you still hiding in the shadows?” This time it was
Trey’s voice. “What are you hiding from?”

“Nothing. I’m not hiding from anything. I fell when I was
looking for you two. In the box. Can you guys get me out of here?”

“No, we can’t help you,” Damon whispered from somewhere
close by. “It’s your choice, to step into the light or not.”

What kind of game was this? It wasn’t like the others. It
wasn’t sexy or mysterious or exciting. No. More annoying and frustrating,
confusing. “There’s no light down here. I’m in a pit or something. Underneath
the floor.”

“Tell us your secret and we will tell you ours.”

“I don’t have a secret.” That was a lie. She did have a
secret, one she’d never told anyone, not even her mother. But it was about
something that had happened a long time ago, and really it didn’t matter
anymore because she’d finally put everything behind her. There was never a good
reason to stir up old crap. It would just kick the stench into the air again.
Better to leave it alone, cover it up with layer after layer of defenses—denial
and justification being a couple of her favorites.

“It’s your choice,” Trey said a little louder.

Silence.

Oh, this sucked in so many ways. Sure, she wasn’t
claustrophobic, so at least she didn’t mind sitting in dark so thick she
couldn’t see her hand in front of her nose. But she only had one more night
with Damon and Trey. They should be teasing and tormenting her like they did so
well, not leaving her to sit here by herself.

They were losing out too. Didn’t they realize that?

“We’re wasting a lot of time,” she said on a sigh.

“We don’t think this is a waste,” Damon countered.

“What are you hoping to accomplish?” she shot back, her
voice reflecting the rising level of her frustration.

“Something more important and meaningful than an orgasm,”
Damon said.

He didn’t say the words, but she heard
we’re not going to
back down
loud and clear in his tone.

She was totally clueless why things that happened over a
decade ago would be so important now, with only one day before they left. She’d
already overcome them. Why ask her to open up to them, become more vulnerable?
They had to know what that would mean, how agonizing it would make their
leaving.

Shouldn’t they be withdrawing from her? Preparing her for
their departure? Distancing themselves?

Hot tears gathered in her eyes and her nose started to burn.
She didn’t want them to leave her. It was going to feel like her heart was
being ripped out of her chest. Maybe to some people the games they played in
the dungeon were just about the sex, fantasy, exploration, orgasm. But for her
they ended up being so much more.

Trust. Vulnerability. Self-discovery. Healing.

It was easy to think in the box, the dark, to let her mind
wander. Kind of like it did when she was in the shower, or lying in bed at
night, semi-awake but with her eyes closed and the soft sounds of the nighttime
drifting through her window.

If this was the culmination of all the games they’d played
thus far, it might actually make sense. It wasn’t as erotic, maybe. But it was
still centered on the theme of trust and secrets. The box was just another way
of restraining her, she supposed. The only thing missing was the erotic
element. But maybe that would come after she answered their question.

She could tell them just a little bit, hold back the worst.
Maybe it would be enough and they’d reward her like they had every night
before.

She just wanted them to hold her. Touch her. Kiss her.

Reluctantly, she searched for the right words. It wasn’t
easy, putting into words the kind of pain she’d endured back then.

“Okay. I’ll tell you. Are you still there?”

“We’re here, sweetheart,” Trey said, his voice encouraging.

“I wish I could see you.”

“I think it’ll be easier this way,” Damon suggested.

Maybe he was right.

“I think you know what I’m about to say. It’s probably just
a matter of me actually speaking the truth, so I’ll do it.” She took a few deep
breaths. “After we moved, things got worse with my stepdad. You knew it would,
didn’t you?”

“We hoped we’d be wrong.” Damon’s voice was tense, his words
clipped. “Tell us.”

“He went from verbally abusing me—calling me names,
humiliating me, that kind of thing—to physical abuse. And finally, when I was
sixteen, he—” Shit, this was hard. “He tried to sexually abuse me too. He
didn’t actually…he made me take him in my mouth. So there you have it. My dark
secret. You’ve heard it. Now please. Just hold me.”

That was it. That was all she was going to say. All she
could say. Her throat had collapsed like a rubber hose under an elephant’s
foot. Her chest felt like tight bands were squeezing, tighter, tighter. Hot
tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Turn toward my voice,” Damon whispered.

Blair turned.

“Reach straight in front of you.”

When she did, a blade of red light illuminated her hand.
Something small, kind of long and sparkly dropped into her palm. A chain?
Necklace maybe? She closed her hand around the thing and looked up, shocked to
find a black tube with a red glowing light inside, directing a stream of
crimson light down. She reached up, touched the tube and realized it was
rubber. A soft tug and the entire side of the pit fell open.

Blinded by the soft light outside, she staggered out,
accepting Trey and Damon’s gentle help.

Damon yanked her against him, holding her tightly, one hand
cupping the back of her head, the other splayed across her lower back. “I’m
sorry we weren’t there for you. Didn’t protect you.”

“How could you? We were too young. You weren’t ready to take
care of me. Hell, you had your own problems to deal with.”

“My problems were nothing. You were all that mattered.”

Trey moved up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist
and rested his chin on the top of her head. “We did try to find you. We were
caught, taken home. But when we left again, they didn’t take us home the second
time. We were locked up for two years after being caught breaking into what we
thought was an abandoned trailer home.”

“See? You tried. It’s not your fault.”

“It will always be my fault,” Damon muttered, sounding
tortured. “Because if we hadn’t been caught, we would’ve gotten to you.”

Her fist still closed around the small thing from the box,
Blair tried to back away a little, just enough to be able to look up into
Damon’s dark eyes. But he wouldn’t loosen his hold on her.

Trey was being much quieter than usual through all this, she
noticed. She wondered why.

“I’m okay now. Honest. I’m not an emotional train wreck like
you seem to think. I live with the past the way most normal people do—by
putting it behind me and moving on. That’s what everybody does. Either that, or
they let the past eat them alive. I wasn’t going to let that happen. Walking
through hell just means you grow a thick skin. Right?”

Damon didn’t answer.

“Sure,” Trey agreed.

Time to change the subject. This was too intense. Too
everything. She turned her head and pressed her ear against Damon’s chest. Not
surprisingly, his heart was pounding hard and fast. He was angry. But it
wouldn’t do any good, being furious about something that couldn’t be changed.

“So what’s your secret?” she asked, remembering Damon’s
earlier promise.

“Well, actually, I kind of made that up to get you to talk.
Both Trey and I sense you’re holding back.”

“Yeah, I…was. I didn’t know if I wanted to tell you. Or how
to tell you. I wanted this time together to be a good thing, about the present,
not the past.” Once again, things were turning to her again. She didn’t want
them to realize there was still more she hadn’t found the courage to tell them
yet. She peered up at Damon’s face. He was getting angry again. She knew how to
turn things around. “I wanted to ask you two if you’d do something special for
me tonight.”

“What’s that?” Damon asked.

“You two have been lovers for a long time.”

“Yes, we have.” Trey kissed the top of her head. “What do
you want to ask us?”

“If you’ll make love to each other this time. I want to see
you share that intimacy with each other.”

“Why?” Damon asked, finally letting her go. He caught her
face between his hands and lifted it, forcing her to look up into his eyes.
“Why ask such a thing?”

“I don’t know.” She thought about it for a minute. “I guess
because a part of me knows you two have been together as a couple for a long
time. But right now you’re so focused on me it’s hard to see that. I want to
know you as you were before this. And know what you’ll go back to being…after.”

“We won’t go back to being the same after,” Damon said,
shooting a glance over her head. “There’s no way we’ll be the same.”

What did that mean?

“I don’t know about this,” Damon said finally after a long
and awkward silence. “Our time together is coming to an end, and I’d rather
spend it with you—”

“I’d like to do what Blair asked,” Trey interrupted.

More silence. The air felt heavy, the room charged with
electricity. She watched the guys exchange looks, Damon’s tight and
unrelenting, Trey’s equally demanding.

“It could bring her closer to us,” Trey suggested.

“Or it could make her feel uncomfortable, like she doesn’t
belong with us,” Damon volleyed back.

Blair felt herself frowning, uncomfortable with the tension
she saw pulling her two guys apart. “I’m not going to be uncomfortable, Damon.
Maybe you should talk about this privately, just the two of you.”

“Good idea,” Trey agreed.

“No,” Damon snapped. “We’re not going to talk about
anything. We had a plan for today, and that’s what we’re going to stick to.”

Trey dragged his fingers through his hair. “But Damon—”

“No!”

Wow, she felt like this huge wedge, pushing the two of them
apart. She pulled away from Damon, turned an apologetic glance to Trey. The
frustration and hurt she saw on his face nearly made her weep.

That was it. Somehow, she had to convince Damon to do this.
From what she could see, his relationship with Trey wasn’t just on shaky
ground, it was sitting on top of a huge fault line. And the big earthquake was
about to start.

She unfurled her fingers, finally taking a second to see
what she’d caught inside the box.

A beautiful bracelet, alternating diamonds and, of course,
flashing red rubies.

Trey could see the center of his world, the relationship
that had been the cornerstone of his life, crumbling like a sandcastle being
battered by a tsunami.

Yet he felt absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Right here, just now, a huge chunk had broken off and
shattered into a million pieces. And what made it a thousand fucking times
worse was that Damon wasn’t just clueless or blind to what was going on, he was
the one who was busting it apart.

Fuck. Damn.

He felt sick, as if someone had kicked him in the balls, run
over him with a Hummer and then disemboweled his quivering, crushed body. The
guy holding the fucking knife was Damon.

He couldn’t breathe.

Trey caught Blair’s wide eyes, so full of shock and worry.
Normally he’d be right there, looking for the words to comfort
her
. Not
this time. The words were gone. He simply lacked the ability or strength to
utter them. Everything was slipping from his grasp, like sand sliding through
his fingers. Going, going, gone.

He needed some air. He needed to get out of that fucking
warehouse, away from Damon. For just a few minutes. To find his head. To suck
in a few breaths. To get his feet back under himself.

He did a one-eighty, made it only a couple of steps away
before Blair grabbed his arm, slowing his progress. “Please,” he said, prying
her fingers away. “Just give me a minute.”

“No. I’ll go.”

“No you won’t,” Damon said, dragging her back to him again.

So that was really the way Damon wanted it? Had Damon
decided he was done with them, that he wanted Blair now, only Blair?

The man could have put a knife in his gut and it would’ve
hurt less.

“It’s fine. I’ll go.” More desperate than ever to get out of
there, Trey hurried toward the exit.

This time it was Damon who stopped him. Not with his hands
but with one word, “Please.”

“Please what?” Trey asked, not turning around. He couldn’t
look Damon in the eye right now, couldn’t stomach seeing the flatness in his
gaze as he looked at him. The glimmer that used to be there was gone.

“Don’t leave.”

The tiniest spark of hope ignited inside Trey’s cold heart.
“Why?” he asked, still staring straight ahead, at the door. He knew if he
stepped through that door that would be the end for them. He was not ready to
face that possibility.

“Because I love you.”

Oh God. If ever there’d been a time when he’d needed to hear
those words, it was now. Finally, he found the strength to turn around.
Immediately, he saw the dark desperation carved into Damon’s features, and the
tension pulling at his body, making the ropey sinew of his shoulders and arms
that much more noticeable.

Trey swallowed, attempting to clear away whatever hard
substance had coalesced in his throat. Didn’t work. “What’s happening to us,
Damon?” He shook his head. “Things are going to hell between us. I’d rather
talk about this in private, not in front of Blair.”

“No, she stays. I won’t have her feeling like she’s not a
part of this, of us.”

Dammit, Damon was going to force him to do this with her
there, hearing things she didn’t deserve to hear. She wasn’t going to walk away
from today without some hurt and regret. Didn’t Damon realize that?

“I think you’re making a mistake,” Trey said.

“I’d be happy to go.” Once again, Blair started toward the
door. “In fact, I need to run an errand…”

Again Damon stopped her. “Stay here.”

Blair stole a glance at Trey before turning pleading eyes at
Damon. “But this is between the two of you, and it’s important.”

Damon smoothed a hand down the side of her face. “It’s between
the three of us.”

What the hell did that mean? Did Damon want to make this
threesome more permanent than they’d talked about?

Blair gaped but didn’t say another word.

“What are you thinking?” Trey asked, bracing himself for
what he knew in his gut would be bad news. Or at least a huge surprise.

“I’m thinking you need to stop being so fucking jealous. You
knew what these two weeks were all about. So why are you being like this?”

Great, so now this was all his fault. He was the one who was
acting like an ass.

It was always that way. Every problem they had was because
of something he’d said, done, didn’t do, whatever. Not this fucking time. Hell
no!

These two weeks hadn’t gone the way they’d talked about.
Something was off. Way off.

His heart banged hard against his breastbone, sending liquid
fire through his veins. “Fuck you, Damon. If you can’t see what a prick you’re
being, then there’s nothing to talk about.” This time he made it to the door,
had his fingers curled around the knob, before Damon tried to stop him again.

“Trey, dammit!”

Trey jerked the knob and pushed open the door.

This time, Damon literally broke into a run, slammed into
him from behind and sent him hurling into the carpeted reception area. Somehow,
Trey managed to stay on his feet. He shoved Damon back. Damon grabbed Trey’s
arm. “Dammit, listen.”

“If you’re just going to give me more of that ‘it’s all your
fault’ shit, I don’t need to listen. I’ve heard enough for a lifetime.”

They stood staring at each other for a handful of agonizing
seconds, nostrils flaring, faces flushed, bodies tight. Trey refused to say
another word. He’d be wasting his breath.

Damon stared at the floor, crossed his arms over his chest,
nervously rocked his weight from one leg to another, the way he always did when
he was struggling with something. “I don’t know how to explain.”

“Try. Or you know what’s going to happen.”

“Yeah,” Damon said on a heavy sigh. “I know.”

“So?”

“So…” Damon’s brows knit together. The guy was your typical
male, didn’t know how to talk about things that mattered. Ask him about last
night’s game, and he wouldn’t shut up. Ask him what he was feeling, and he shut
down.

Trey wasn’t going to let him get away with that anymore. He
couldn’t. It was too one-sided now.

This thing with Blair hadn’t started their troubles. He
could be objective enough to see now that they’d been having problems for a
long time. He shared the fault for one very important reason—he’d been the one
to let it go on this way for so long. Too long.

“I didn’t know it would be like this,” Damon admitted,
lifting his gaze but still avoiding Trey’s face. He glanced over his shoulder,
back into the warehouse where Blair was waiting, quietly, patiently for them to
sort this shit out. “I mean, I knew I still loved her. But I had no idea I’d
feel so…” He dragged his fingers through his hair, finally making eye contact.
“So fucking desperate to be with her, to touch her, fuck her, to have her all
to myself. We’ve shared so many women. It’s never been like this.”

“Yeah, I noticed. I might as well not be here.”

“Shit, Trey. I still love you. That hasn’t changed.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. I can’t lose you.”

“Then you better start showing me. Today. Now. Because
otherwise…” Trey couldn’t say the words. Didn’t want to hear them spoken,
because then he knew it could really happen. They might say goodbye, and he’d
lose the one human being on the planet whom he’d ever trusted completely.

Damon hesitantly stepped forward, reaching for him, but Trey
didn’t step into his embrace. He wasn’t ready to pretend it was all better.
Damon’s arms dropped to his sides. “What more do you need?”

“We haven’t fucked since the first night with Blair. What do
I need? I need you. I need to feel like I’m not just another accessory in your
bondage arsenal. Or your competition for Blair. I’m your best friend. Soul
mate. Lover. Or I’m nothing. Only you know what I am to you.”

“You are everything to me. The air I breathe. Don’t ever
doubt that.” Damon didn’t wait for him to accept his embrace. Damon just yanked
him against his body, tangled his fingers in Trey’s hair, tugged back and
kissed him. Hard.

Trey’s body, of course, responded to every stab of Damon’s
tongue. His already racing heart did its damnedest to kick its way out of his
chest. With mouth and hands, Damon said all the things he’d struggled to say
with words. With kisses, he said,
I love you more than anything
. And
with his grappling hands, he said,
I need you more than I can ever say
.

It had been a long time since they’d had this kind of erotic
tension between them. Damon’s touches weren’t sensual, or even erotic like
usual. They were possessive, demanding, urgent. Damon moaned into their joined
mouths, the sound vibrating in Trey’s head, buzzing through his body. He pulled
Damon’s tongue into his mouth, suckling, drinking Damon’s spicy flavor.

Trey gathered Damon’s hair into his fist and pulled sharply,
forcing his head back. Against the salty-sweet skin at the base of Damon’s
throat, Trey muttered, “Let’s go give Blair what she asked for. Let’s let her
be a witness to our hunger, our love.” Reaching down, Trey caressed the hard
bulge between Damon’s legs.

“Yessss,” Damon murmured.

They walked into the warehouse, finding Blair sitting on the
bed in the dungeon, her eyes teary and face blotchy. “I’m so sorry,” she
mumbled, sounding as miserable as she looked. She sniffled, dabbed her nose
with a tissue. “I hate that you two were fighting because of me.”

“It’s okay.” Damon sat beside her on the bed but didn’t
release Trey’s hand. He rested the free one on Blair’s knee. “We talked. Things
are better now.”

She turned those misery-filled eyes to Trey. “Are they?”

“I didn’t leave,” Trey answered. He couldn’t tell her a lie,
that everything was perfect and they’d solved their problems with just a short,
albeit heated, argument. But things were on the right track.

“We want to give you what you asked for,” Damon said,
dragging his hand up her thigh. “We’re going to fuck, Trey and I. And then
we’re going to fuck you, both of us, like we talked about.”

Her smile was shaky but sweet and sexy too. “Thank you.”

“No, we should thank you. You’re the one who helped us see
we had—have—problems.” Damon gave Trey a guilty smile. “Or rather, you helped
me
see we have problems. I think Trey here’s pretty in touch with things. I
have a harder time. But if it means making sure this man is in my life for
another fifteen years, then I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll talk about my
fucking feelings until he screams enough.” He chuckled.

Trey sat beside him, laughing. “If that day ever comes, I’ll
eat an entire pan of squid, just for you.”

“Hah!”

Blair giggled nervously. “What’s that all about?”

“This guy has never tasted seafood of any kind. Not even
tuna,” Damon explained.

“Really?”

Scowling, Trey nodded. “It’s a thing from when I was a kid.
And it’s just something I never bothered to try to overcome.”

“Looks like we’re all dodging the skeletons from our past,”
Blair commented, looking guilty.

“Does that mean you’re still hiding a few?” Trey said, turning
some dark eyes on her.

Blair smiled, shook her head. “We’re talking about you, not
me.”

“Nice dodge,” Damon said, sliding Blair a grin. “We’ll get
back to that later.”

“Yes, we will.” Trey was all too happy to divert their
collective attention from him back to Blair.

Unfortunately, it seemed Blair had her own gift for
diversions.

Standing on the mattress, she clapped her hands and scrubbed
them together. “So about this sex thing, do I have to just sit here and watch,
or can I participate in some way?”

“What way would you like to participate?” Damon looked
surprised, shocked.

“Well, one thing that drives me absolutely crazy when we’re
together is the way you talk to each other, tell each other how I taste, smell,
what you want to do. I want to be in charge this time.”

“Oh no, we’re not switches.” Damon shook his head. “Sex
between us is strictly sex. No power play, no submission.”

“Okay, maybe I misspoke. I like how you dominate me. I don’t
want to lose that. I’m thinking more like, ‘Damon, will you please stroke
Trey’s balls?’ That kind of thing.”

Trey liked the sound of that. Both Blair’s suggestion itself
and the idea of her being something of an active participant and asking them to
perform for her.

A blade of heat speared his insides. His balls tightened.
Yes, that sounded like fun.

Damon and Trey exchanged a heated glance and then both
barked, “Sure!”

This was bound to be a new, thrilling experience for both of
them. Maybe, just maybe, they’d found a way to bring Blair into their lives in
a more balanced way. That made Trey feel tons better and made the still
uncertain future look a little less dim.

“But before we start, our sweet girl needs to agree to a few
terms,” Damon announced.

“What kind of terms,” she asked, knowing they were going to
be naughty and delicious and oh-so wicked.

“First, we want you naked. Everything comes off,” Damon
began, looking at her like she was a scrumptious treat.

Yes, naughty.

Damon crossed his arms over his chest. “But you’re not
permitted to touch yourself. Not your nipples and definitely not your pussy.”

And yes, delicious.

“And you have to sit right here, next to us, close enough to
touch us, to hear every gasp and sigh.”

And oh yeah, very wicked.

“Okay,” she agreed, hoping she’d have the strength to keep
up her end of the bargain. Sit next to two beautiful men, as they fucked, and
not masturbate? Was that possible?

They both looked at her expectantly, and she realized they
were waiting for her to strip.

She promptly, gladly, peeled off every scrap of clothing she
had on, even the cute lace thong. Then she fluffed some pillows, stacked them
at the head of the bed and leaned back, ready to watch the show of a lifetime.
“Damon, will you undress Trey for me? Slowly.”