Shadow: Cerberus MC Book 3 (19 page)

I hear the beautiful sound of Misty’s laugh. It’s genuine, and I realize that she doesn’t laugh nearly enough. I have to wonder how much of that is my fault. I feel a pang of regret for not engaging with her more often, for not spending time with her and Griffin together rather than always splitting parenting duties.

I grin at Dom as he walks back to the house with his arms wrapped around the shoulder of his conquest for the night. The dark haired beauty is looking up at him like she’s just won the Powerball Lottery. I’d noticed several women vying for his attention tonight, more than willing to make it a group thing. Dom doesn’t operate that way, though; one woman at a time has always been his MO. I’m sure the other women are devastated, but I know if they stick around long enough, they may still get their chance.

My eyes scan the backyard and land on my sister who looks more than a little upset as she watches Dom and his girl head back into the clubhouse. I told her not to get any ideas about him, but she never listens. I shake my head, grateful he’s chosen one of the girls the Renegades brought along. Bri will see in the morning when Dom walks out of his room alone, that his bed is no place for a woman with any type of morals. She’ll be thankful she dodged a bullet.

Misty’s continued laughter brings my eyes back to her and Butch. They’re sitting close to each other on a wicker two-seater near the fire pit that’s only lit to help keep the mosquitos away. I shouldn’t get pissed that their thighs and arms are touching. Hell, Butch is so fucking big he’s taking up two-thirds of the space himself. I shouldn’t even care that they’ve spent the entire evening talking, laughing, and having a good time, but I do.

I don’t want to admit that I wish it was me she was laughing with. I wish I was the one getting her fresh bottles of water when she finishes the previous one. I can’t admit that, though. If I do, then I cave. I fold my hand and allow her to win. I can’t let that happen even when I’m no longer certain why exactly I’m staying away from her.

He places a hand on her thigh as he leans in close to tell her a joke or some shit. I shift my weight in my chair, seconds away from getting up and breaking his hand. Now I know how Kid felt months and months ago when Khloe got drunk and was hanging all over one of the other guys in the club.

Misty isn’t even drunk, and worse yet, she’s not doing this to make me jealous like Khloe had done. Misty hasn’t so much as looked in my direction all night. It’s as if I don’t even exist out here. The fact that I’m about to kill the fucker, who before today I’d even call a friend that has his hand on her leg doesn’t even register with her. She’s just out here having a good time. I’m the one who’s turned into a pouting fucking baby watching her.

“Misty,” I hear from the doorway on the back of the house.

I turn and see Khloe standing just outside with Griffin. He’s fussy and trying to wiggle out of her arms.

“Perfect time, son,” I say to myself as I see Misty tell Butch goodbye and walk over to the door.

Misty disappears inside, and I know he’s ready to eat. She’ll be in there a while. He always nurses the longest right before bed.

I look across the fire at Butch, who I find looking right back at me. He raises an eyebrow at me and takes a sip of his beer. I can tell by the look on his face that he’s not challenging me. It’s more of a warning. Almost as if he’s saying ‘Take care of her, man, or I’ll do it for you.’

I finish my beer and stand from my chair, trailing behind Misty. By the time I make it to her room and knock softly, she’s already situated in the rocking chair feeding Griffin.

I don’t say a word as I walk over to her. She’s not trying to be provocative in the least, but she’s stopped covering herself with a blanket when she feeds him. He hates his face shielded from hers when he eats. I look down at him lovingly as he grips the beads around her neck in his little fist. His eyes watch hers; the bond between them unbreakable. It’s an amazingly beautiful sight.

I caress his tiny head for a long moment. Bending at the waist, I brush a gentle kiss to his head. The action isn’t out of character; it’s sort of become bedtime routine for the three of us. What is different about tonight, is rather than walking out to give them their time together, I lift up and brush a soft kiss on the top of Misty’s head as well. I take a deep breath, letting the scent of her coconut shampoo fill my lungs. She doesn’t say anything, but I can hear the hitch in her breathing as I leave the room.

I spend the next several hours getting piss drunk with a yard full of rowdy bikers, trying to drown the knowledge that Misty is alone in her room.

I have to remind myself that he’s been drinking as he walks out of the room. That sweet kiss on the top of my head means absolutely nothing, merely a slip on his part. Maybe it was a simple thank you for taking care of Griffin. That has to be it because it’s honestly the nicest physical thing he’s done since I arrived.

He took care of me when I first got here, but he was angry the entire time, spitting rude comments and accusations at me. He’s housed Griffin and me for months without so much as a bat of an eyelash, but he’s never been outwardly kind. He’s never embraced me. The only time he’s even got close enough for it to be a possibility was when he walked in here and fucked me like I was his to take. Even then there was nothing sweet or kind about it.

I put the sleeping baby in his crib, laying a thin blanket over his chubby little legs. I make sure he’s on his back, just like the pediatrician says is best, even though I know he’ll be flipped over and curled into a ball with his little butt up in the air by the time sunrise breaks. He’s had several nights over the last couple of weeks where he sleeps straight through; I hope tonight will be one of those nights.

Wanting to end the night on a positive note, I strip out of my dress and head into the bathroom. After scrubbing the layers of makeup off my face, I climb into the shower. I let the water wash the day away and think about how generous Shadow has been since he got over his initial anger of my arrival months ago.

He’s been more than helpful with Griffin, taking him whenever I need a break and even showing up on several occasions to spend time with him. He’s never made me feel like I couldn’t go to him for help with the baby when I’ve asked.

I mentioned in passing to Em that Griffin liked to be rocked to sleep, but the constant motion was hurting my back after my long shifts at the bar. The next day I got home from work and the rocking chair was in the room. The same for the crib. I knew Griffin was getting too big for the tiny bassinet, so one day it was gone, and the crib was in its place.

Griffin had outgrown his newborn and three-month clothes, and six months clothes replaced those without a word. All of the things Em and Khloe got for both me and Griffin the first couple of days we were here Shadow paid for. I can’t complain about the monetary things because he makes sure we don’t go without, but it’s his touch I crave. It’s his love and affection I yearn to have. Those are the things he keeps to himself.

I towel off and crawl into bed, not even bothering with clothes. I glance over at the door and feel safe enough here with it locked to not even worry about getting dressed. I let my eyes flutter closed, drifting off to a dream land where my heart and my family is complete.

I’m disoriented when I feel the bed shift and a warm body slide up next to mine. I stiffen and then try to shuffle away.

“Hey. It’s only me, Darlin’,” Shadow says in his deep southern drawl.

“I locked the door,” I say confused as to how he’s in here with me.

“I have a key. Used to be my room, remember?” I can smell the whiskey on his breath, and I sigh in frustration.

I need to throw him out. I need to protect my heart. This will end exactly like it did last time.

But I feel his warm breath coat the back of my neck. I feel his muscled, naked body against my back, and I cave. I give into him because I want this too.

“You were so beautiful tonight with your hair down your back. That dress made me hard the second I saw you in it. I was hoping you’d still have it on so I could peel it off of you with my teeth.”

I groan as he whispers dirty things in my ear and his hands reach over my hip and trails slowly down my stomach. My muscles bunch and flex under his inspection and legs open when he slides his hand between my thighs.

“So fucking beautiful,” he says as his fingers find the slickness of my desire.

I whimper softly when his fingertips circle my tight bundle of nerves. His mouth connects with my shoulder. Biting me exactly where I want him the most, that tiny little area just below my ear. I rotate my hips riding his hand slowly, trying to find the end of my slow building release.

“Not yet, Darlin’,” he says pulling his hand away. “I’ll be inside of that tight pussy of yours when you come.”

I feel him shift slightly away; then the sound of a foil wrapper being torn echoes off the wall.

My legs have fallen back down, but that doesn’t deter him. He runs his thick hard cock between my legs, stroking in and out between my closed thighs. The tip of his length grazes my clit on every upward stroke, and I know he can make me come this way.

Gently he raises my leg, holding it in the crook of his elbow as he lines himself up from behind. We’re both lying on our sides when he pushes slowly inside of me. I feel like hot liquid in his arms as his hips gently push against my backside. I know the slow motion of his cock sinking inside of me and retreating is torturing him. I can feel the heat of his body increase. Feel the flush of his skin as it begins to coat with a light layer of perspiration.

The hand under my thigh slides down and brushes against my clit. I grip the sheets in my hands and bite my fist to keep from screaming out. The last thing I want right now is to have to stop because we’ve woken Griffin up.

“Give it to me, Misty,” he demands in my ear. His teeth sinking into my shoulder is the sensation, joined with all of the others, that sends me over the edge.

“Oh God,” I pant as my body takes over my brain and begins to clench uncontrollably around him.

He grunts his approval but never stops the slow torturous in-and-out of me. I ride the orgasm as long as I can until my body is spent and completely satiated.

“I love the warmth of your skin right after you come,” he breathes in my ear. “Love the goose bumps that cover you from top to bottom.”

I love you
, I think as he continues to pump slowly in and out.

“I should be with you, Misty. I should be a better father to Griffin by spending my life with his mother.”

I let out a small sob at his confession. Happy tears roll down my face, only to be trampled on with the next words out of his mouth.

“But I can’t.”

He doesn’t explain further, only pulls roughly out of me. I try to curl into a ball and wait for him to leave so I can sob into my pillow.

“I have more to give you,” he says gruffly.

He flips me over on my stomach and pushes my knees under me, raising my ass in the air. A second later he’s ramming into me. He feels twice as big this way, and I love every single hard inch of him as he pounds into my oversensitive core.

“Best fucking pussy I’ve ever had,” he confesses as his fingers dig roughly into my hips.

More than pushing into me, he’s pulling me back onto his cock. I begin to tremble around him once again; the beginning of an orgasm rolling low in my belly.

I bury my head into the pillow and scream as my second orgasm of the night blows my first out of the water. He roars his own orgasm but doesn’t stop powering into me until he’s completely spent. I’m throbbing and sore when he finally pulls out of me. A feeling I would relish if I didn’t know how this was going to end. Now, it will only serve as a reminder of where he’s been.

I hear the condom hit the small trash can beside the bed. I can tell he’s shuffling into his clothes. At least he had the decency to get undressed this time. I lay stock still on the bed, purposely not engaging, hoping he’ll just leave.

He leans over and kisses me on the forehead. “Thanks, Darlin’,” he says before walking out of the room. I hear the key turn the lock from the outside.

Thanks, Darlin’.

I resist the urge to see if he slapped money on the dresser for the good time before he walked out.

***

“What are you saying?” Bri asks from the end of the bed. “He’s done this before?”

I nod slowly. “This was the second time since I’ve been here.”

I don’t even want to have this conversation with Shadow’s sister, but she saw the bite mark on my shoulder I didn’t realize I had. I couldn’t explain it away. She knew what happened the second she saw it.

I forced her from the kitchen where she confronted me into the bedroom at least.

“He was drunk last time, too,” I add shamefully.

“Why do you let him keep doing it, Misty? You deserve better.” I can hear the motherly chastisement in her tone, and it saddens me further.

“It’s the only time I feel like I have a part of him. That he’s more than just Griffin’s dad. I feel wanted,” I confess. “I know how the next day goes, and it breaks my heart, but when he’s here, he’s mine.”