Shadow Fall (24 page)

In Custo’s grip was Annabella, the axis of his existence, his name in her mind while her throat was silenced.

The three of them created a strange geometry, an Order beyond his complete comprehension. But without doubt or reservation, he knew it was an equation calculated to save his soul.

Like a searing bolt from the sky, love fractured him.

Custo and the wolf were two again, inhabiting the same cursed body, but this time Custo was ascendant. A second chance. His life had been ruled by bitterness and regret, by clear paths scorned for darkness; now he could make a different choice.

The beast in his head roared denial and frustration as Custo forced his joints to open and release Annabella; the storm above cracked in protest, but he was in charge now. For the moment at least.

The air took on the uncompromising solidity that resisted a change of course. Annabella was right: He’d died before; now he wanted to learn something new. He wanted to live.

She straightened slowly, her gaze wary, guarded, as she gulped the thick air. “Custo?”

Her chest heaved and her skin shone with a determined light, offset by the pressing darkness at her back. Though she trembled with weakness, she again put her hands against the throbbing wall of Shadow to keep it from touching him, from nurturing the wolf.

And good thing, too, because the beast had started to prowl in his mind, wildly hungry, primitive, immortally strong, searching for a human weakness to exploit. Custo knew there were a lot of them: anger, violence, sex…

A wolfish growl rumbled in his chest—
Found one!
—and Custo’s tainted, pounding blood raced toward his groin.

Skin so smooth. Body so tight.

Custo clenched his teeth. He blinked hard and dropped his gaze from sweet, brave Annabella to the hot pavement. No. Not going to happen.

Strip her. Lick her. Take her in the trees.

Custo’s vision burned, the concrete rippling with dark mist.

“Custo?” Annabella repeated.

Every time he’d tried to resist her before, he’d failed miserably. Every single time her best interests would be served by not touching her, his wants had overruled judgment. How long could he resist? He wasn’t stupid, not long at all.

Custo had to be fast. Had to be prepared for even greater personal darkness.

His mind’s eye turned inward; he could sense the hulk of the wolf within him, in the most obscure, twisted corner of his mind, slavering with hunger. There was no way to kill the beast and Custo knew he could not sustain this dual existence much longer. Eventually the wolf would control him as it had Abigail.

There could be only
one
mind,
one
will, that ruled this body.

And the beast was so damn hungry. Custo grasped on to that singular lust, stoked it higher, denying the rest.

He let the hunger of the wolf inundate him, felt the appetite commingle with his gathering intent. The wolf responded, crouching as if to spring and overtake his consciousness again. When the wolf leaped, Custo braced and with a great, inner gulp…
consumed
him.

Custo swallowed, the burn a fierce roar of agony that overwhelmed his senses, sharpening them to brutal clarity. He took in the wolf, forced him thrashing into his blood and bones and the sizzling snap of his nerves. He absorbed and digested the raw, animal power, the dark identity. Made it his own, while obliterating the wolf’s personality in his head.

The burn intensified, beyond pain to shock and wonder. Custo arched with the agony of it. His body was changing again, always changing. This second life would not let him rest. What he would become this time, he didn’t know. How much of himself would he lose? Would there be enough left to protect Annabella?

He threw back his head, reaching up with his Shadow-touched hands to part the threatening storm, and found the stars spinning in the black above. The sounds of the city blended with the whisper of voices, the chatter of faery voyeurs to his transformation. The scent of sweat and blood filled his nose, but what direction it came from he didn’t know.

He reeled, his sense of direction confused. This way Earth, that way Shadow, over there Heaven, and down this dark path, Hell. Which way to go? Who was he: wolf, man, angel, or all three? Where did he belong?

A thought reached him. It sounded like a prayer.
Please be okay.

With a snap, the erratic swinging of his internal compass found north and the needle stilled, telling him true in this place of utter uncertainty. Annabella.

And then it didn’t matter what he was.

“Custo?” Annabella said. Her chin was up, shoulders square, hands fisted to fight.

Not if she could love him.

He put out a hand to calm her. She didn’t have a timid bone in her body, but he was different and ugly. He startled to find the claws had reverted to human fingernails, which was a good sign. His skin was slightly pale, still tinged by his mother’s olive, but his veins were a deep gray. Not so good.

“I won’t hurt you,” he said, trying to keep emotion from his voice. He pulled his hand back; suddenly he wasn’t so sure what the rest of himself looked like. “At least, I don’t think I will.”

There was only his own voice now in his head, but if the physical change signified anything, the power of the wolf was in him, was
his,
thrumming in his blood. The air snapped with static crispness, singing along his skin. So strange. Maybe Adam should lock him up for a time, just in case. He didn’t dare trust himself, especially with Anna-bella. Yes, much better to wait and see what—

With a flash of movement, Annabella’s arms went around his neck. She held herself in midair, her hot, soft lips pressed hard to his. Custo gasped, surprise bringing him to his knees while he clutched her from falling. She exhaled a hoarse laugh against his mouth at the jarring pavement, and…damn it, he had to kiss her back.

Trial by fire, then.

Custo parted her lips with his tongue to take the kiss deeper. Annabella answered by tightening her arms, a hand in his hair, gripping him close, and—
have mercy
—a little painfully. His body burned with the touch, her closeness, and a dark wave of lust swamped him. Darker, more primal than he’d ever known. Near wolfish. Her scent was stronger, muskier than he remembered. Her skin, smoother; her mouth wet. He needed her on the ground, beneath him, or on her knees, arching for the moon.

By the way her legs wrapped around his waist, she seemed in agreement.

A catcall from the other side of the city street brought dim awareness of his human audience. The street, the ruined buildings, the stink of fallen wraiths. It would not do for his Annabella, who now hid her face in his shoulder.

Custo.
Luca’s voice invaded his mind.
Are you all right?

Custo sighed heavily. If he could hear someone else’s thoughts, he was probably still an angel. Not his preference either, but he was getting used to it.

Luca would have to wait for an answer. Privacy, please.

By instinct, Custo reached for Shadow, and it obeyed like a curtain drawn on the world. Which meant he had a little wolfish fae in him as well. That’s the one he was most worried about.

One moment he and Annabella were Earthbound, the next transported, surrounded by ageless trees, the primeval layering of dirt, undergrowth, and heady, magic-filled boughs filling his nose. He sensed the interest of his faery observers, and banished them with his mind, too. This was for him and Annabella alone. This new Shadow-magic was going to be damn useful.

He cupped Annabella’s ass with his palms—
perfection
—and left it to her to hold on tight as he made for a tree trunk, a little leverage and support to strip and plunge and pump…

Wait. Custo pulled back and shuddered through a deep breath.

Not like that. She deserved gentleness. Soft strokes. A forever show of thank-you and love and how-did-I-get-so-lucky?

He put his forehead to the rough bark of the tree. Hell, he was shaking. And panting like a dog, too. This was going to be a problem. He squeezed his eyes shut and gave her the truth. “I don’t know if I can control myself, sweetheart. Not near ready to trust myself with you.”

Annabella bit his earlobe in answer. “If you can ask the question, I’m safe enough.”

Annabella felt Custo’s weight shift. He’d pinned her deliciously to a tree. Her body tingled with awareness, sore muscles loosening, strengthening in preparation. The embrace was familiar, the pressure and fit all Custo. Her heart thumped hard with relief. They’d survived, somehow. And he was still hers. The rest she didn’t have the strength to care about.

Custo started to draw back, hesitated, sighing deeply, then allowed her to look him full in the face. The green she’d seen in his irises had not lied—he was back, his expression more tortured than ever, waiting for her reaction. His coloring had altered, the lines under his skin telling her that he was permeated with Shadow. Which would probably get very interesting. But it was still him, still Custo, just having a very bad day.

She blinked back prickling tears and with mock severity, threatened, “Don’t make me seduce you again.”

His eyes smiled slightly, underscored by deep rue. Against her body, she could feel the vibration of a growl in his chest.

“I try to be good, really I do,” he said, as if very tired. His thumb smeared a tear across her cheek.

She had to grin now, in spite of everything, and lifted her face to kiss. “Don’t try too hard.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

M
OM
, I know I’ve only known him a couple of days,” Annabella said, phone clutched between her shoulder and ear as she rummaged through one of the boxes the Segue soldiers had packed from her studio. Apparently, Adam took her “I’m never going back there” very seriously.

The apartment she shared with Custo at Segue was jammed with brown boxes smelling like cardboard and packing tape. The place was a disaster with spills of clothes and random junk piling everywhere on the floor from Annabella’s search. And now that she and Custo had decided they were moving, she’d just have to pack it all up again.

If she didn’t find her stash of pointe shoes soon, she was going to be late for rehearsal, and Venroy was already ticked at her for leaving the reception early two nights before. Good thing the news broadcast of the battle in the city had been blurry where she was concerned. The video capture from mobile phones was less so, but Adam was working on that before she was publicly recognized.

She’d stayed in bed all day yesterday “recuperating” with Custo, but now it was time to get back to work. She had a name to make for herself.

“Then it’s clearly too early to move in with him,” her mom said. “You barely know the man.”

Annabella knew Custo was good and strong and soulful. In his keeping, she was safer than anywhere else in the world…or beyond it. He would help her master her gift, just as she would help him master his new abilities. Then, when she wasn’t dancing, they’d combine their efforts to help with ongoing breaches between the worlds.

“I told you, I am not staying at his apartment.” Which was the truth. Custo didn’t have one. “I’m staying at his friend’s home until I can find somewhere to live. I won’t be able to sleep at my apartment knowing a murder took place next door.”

“Are you sleeping in the same bed?”

Dang, her mom was smart. Annabella had thought for sure the murder thing would get her all excited again and have her going off on the dangers of the city.

“That’s none of your business,” Annabella said a little primly.

“Then you’re living with him.” A long silence. “Annabella, it’s not like you to fall so hard so fast. I’m worried. I don’t want you to get hurt or jeopardize everything you’ve accomplished with your dance.”

“He’s a good guy, Mom. I’m crazy about him, and I bet you will be, too.”

A pang of worry in her heart told Annabella that the question of her future with Custo did bother her. The fact that he aged like a human person was weirdly comforting, but they still had to figure out how they could share their lives, especially with his slightly abnormal appearance. They’d have to make up a halfway plausible “condition” to explain the dark lines on his body. That he ate a Shadow wolf wasn’t going to cut it.

Another silence, a little longer. Then a huge sigh. “Bring him to dinner Sunday.”

Her mom was her best friend; she couldn’t keep Custo from her for long. “I have performances. What about Tuesday?”

“Tuesday’s fine. I’ll call your brother so that he can give your Custo a hard time, too.”

Annabella smiled. It would be fun to watch Custo squirm. And more fun to make it up to him later.

A rustle behind her. Annabella turned to see Zoe crouching by one of her boxes. The tape hissed as Zoe pulled it off.

“Uh…Mom, I’ve got to go to rehearsal. See you Tuesday. Love you.” Annabella disconnected the call. To Zoe she said, “That’s not your stuff.”

Zoe looked up, the black fringe of her bangs hanging in her eyes. Still no makeup. She looked like a grumpy kid without it.

“I don’t have any stuff,” Zoe said. “I need clothes. I won’t leave Abby here alone, and I’m not about to ask Adam or Talia for a damn thing. That leaves you.”

Abigail wasn’t making as much progress as Dr. Lin would have liked, but she was holding stable. Zoe must have been worried out of her mind. In a strange place with no friends and a heck of a lot of scary monsters, no wonder she was in a foul mood.

Zoe rummaged through the box. A flash of pointe-shoe pink made Annabella’s heart leap. Bingo! Now if she could find Custo, she might make rehearsal on time after all.

“Clothes are in those boxes,” Annabella said, snapping up her shoes. “And my makeup in is the bathroom. Help yourself.”

“I don’t know why you’re so happy,” Zoe called after her. “It’ll never work out for the two of you.”

Annabella looked back, feeling sorry for her. No one could know the future with any certainty, not Abigail and certainly not Zoe. The girl just had the uncanny ability that other unhappy people have to sense and tweak the deepest fears of others.

It’ll never work out?

Ha!
“The hell it won’t.”

“You’re looking better,” Adam said, turning away from his computer monitor. “Less ugly, but still…disturbing.”

Custo grinned as he dropped into a chair opposite Adam, glancing over his friend’s blackened eyes and the swollen bridge of his nose. “You still look like shit.”

“Yeah. Talia’s mad at me for getting hurt. Almost put her back into labor when she heard about it.”

“She knows you fight wraiths for a living, right?”

Adam chuckled. “She doesn’t want me doing it without her. I’m hoping with you and The Order around she won’t have to do much of it at all, but she’s still angry.”

Which reminded Custo…“About Talia and the babies…what are you going to do with Gillian?” Custo asked. “You can’t exactly let her walk.”

“Why not?”

“She knows too much about Segue, about Talia. And the wraiths were keen on getting a hold of the babies, probably to harness whatever gifts they have. The woman needs to face the consequences of her actions.” Custo had half a mind to go down to her cell and strangle her himself.

All humor dropped from Adam’s face. “The wraiths aren’t getting near my children. And for the audacity of threatening my family, I will hunt each one down and kill it. I have the manpower, if that term reasonably extends to The Order, to launch a full-scale offensive now.” Adam leaned forward, his eyes narrowing. “As for the good doctor, I leave her to the tender mercies of the wraiths. Without her connection to Segue, all she’s good for to them is food.”

“So you’re letting her walk,” Custo repeated. Gillian would be running scared for the rest of her short life. Inevitably, the wraiths would catch up. “Does Talia know?”

“Yep. I can’t keep anything from her. She wanted to gift wrap Gillian for the wraiths with a shiny red satin bow. Her words.” Adam smiled slightly. “Impending motherhood has, shall we say, intensified her temper.”

“Sounds like it.” Talia had always been such a quiet, studious thing. Except when she screamed, that is.

Adam put his elbows on the desk, his expression clearing. “Luca and his Order wouldn’t stay here, so I’ve put them up in the Annex building. Unless you have any objections, I’d like to give him the go-ahead to renovate the loft on the top floor. Neither Talia nor I want to live there, and it could be a usable space again.”

Custo shrugged. If anyone could excise the memory of his death from the loft, it was The Order. “That’s fine. It’s past time for that place to get a new paint job.” And windows. And elevator doors.

“You could have gotten all this from my head,” Adam said. “So what did you come to talk to me about?”

Custo heaved a sigh. The air became thick to breathe, but he forced it in and out of his lungs. It was past time for this, too. “I’m leaving Segue.”

The silence filled the room.

“I guess I knew that was coming,” Adam said, but he looked tired. Older.

Of course Adam knew. Custo was joining The Order. With his new abilities, the scope and strength of which he’d yet to fully explore, he was needed now more than ever. Plus he had a lot to learn.

“Are you going to become as unreasonable as the rest of them?” Adam asked.

Custo smiled, playing along. “No, you cannot have access to their…
our…
arsenal. The weapons have supernatural properties, and it would be inviting trouble to permit humankind to use them.”

“You let Shadowman have the hammer,” Adam pointed out.

“And I will have to take responsibility for whatever chaos he creates with it.” But if Shadowman could use the tool to retrieve Kathleen, the exception was worth it. Custo didn’t have to read Adam’s mind to know that he would second that opinion.

Adam shook his head. “Unreasonable.”

Since Segue and The Order would be working together a lot, Custo figured he’d be hearing that same complaint from Adam often.

Adam lifted his eyes just as there was a soft rap at the door.

Custo turned to see Annabella. She had her enormous dance bag over a shoulder, her dark hair pulled severely back into a tight ponytail. Her eyes were fairy-tale big and bright.

“Rehearsal starts in an hour,” she said with a token “sorry” wince.

Custo knew the expression was fake. She wasn’t sorry. She wanted to go right now. The light was shining in her eyes; she wanted to dance.

“You coming back here tonight?” Adam asked.

Annabella darted a look to Custo. He guessed that meant,
No. We’ll find a place in the city.

A nice hotel, with all the luxuries. After the last couple of days they more than deserved it. Later he’d have to scout out some place for them to live. A comfortable, but secure apartment not too far from The Order’s new headquarters and her ballet company. When Luca had mentioned living discreetly among humankind, Custo didn’t think he meant living with a human woman. But then, Custo had never lived by anyone’s rules before. He wasn’t about to start now.

Custo stood. He didn’t have the words for everything he wanted to say to Adam. For being there most of his life. Saving his ass over and over. “It’s been…”

Adam cleared his voice. “Yeah. It’s been.”

They clasped hands over the desk and held. Custo’s chest tightened uncomfortably. He would still be seeing Adam regularly, but this was good-bye.

Outside the office, Custo dropped his arm on Annabella’s shoulders while they walked down the long hallway. She squeezed him around his waist. Perfect fit. He moved away from his past and headed toward his future.

“So…” Annabella began.

Custo hit the elevator button to take them to the exit level. The drive would take an hour into the city. He’d drop her off at rehearsal, then hit the Annex building to tell Luca how the renovation should be done. Whoever dictated the construction of the tower had relied on the angels’ ability to mask the place from humankind’s perceptions. These were dangerous times; the Annex building’s security needed to go beyond illusion. And, of course, their policy against modern weapons needed to be challenged. If the wraiths were armed, The Order needed to be as well.

“Custo! You’re not listening to me.”

He kissed Annabella’s head. “Sorry. You were saying…”

She made a face, then said, “You know in the Shadowlands…”

“Yes, I’m familiar.” And growing more so.

Annabella shot him a cool, narrow-lidded glance.

Okay, she wasn’t kidding.

She bit her lip, taking a deep breath. “Do you remember when you said, ‘Make an honest man of me’?”

Custo groaned inwardly. She was quoting him again. “Yeah?”

“Well…did you mean it?”

He frowned. What was she getting at? She had a cute worry line forming between her eyebrows, which he smoothed away with his thumb. She had nothing to worry about but her performance. He’d take care of everything else.

“Of course I did,” he answered. Annabella was the best thing that had ever happened to him. The truest. Recent events proved that.

“What I mean is…”

Custo sighed. This would be so much easier if she’d let him read her mind.

“Well…” She blinked rapidly, but he caught the shine of tears.

Oh. She wanted the happily-ever-after. Marriage, a home, and little babies like Adam and Talia were going to have. In his head, he was already married. She was it for him, and no piece of paper would make that more or less true. And the home? Would have to be centrally located. But, yes, every night he was remotely able would be spent in bed with her. Could he even have children? He had no idea. Good thing he believed in miracles.

Annabella was wringing her hands, still hedging around what she wanted to say. “The phrase is usually associated with
‘til death do us part
kind of scenarios.”

Scenarios? Custo almost laughed aloud. He gathered her in his arms, fitting her into the Annabella-shaped spot against his body. She was soft and smelled fresh from her shower. He’d fight for the rest of her…scenario, but of one thing he was absolutely certain.

“Death can’t part us.”