Shadow Hawk (16 page)

Probably slept.

Together?

No. No, deep down she had a thing for him, he was certain of it. He'd cultivated the hero worship in her, had carefully honed it. No, his Abby hadn't slept with Hawk. She was too cautious—as he knew all too well. How many months had he put into trying to get into her pants? He'd wined and dined the hell out of her, managing only a whole lot of restless nights.

Until the raid. Of course he'd been behind it. Mostly because she'd come damn close to exposing him, more by accident than design, but still. She was a smart cookie, and with a little more time she'd have figured it out.

He'd had to throw her off, at any cost. So he'd finagled a way to scare her and indebt her to him at the same time. Ingenious, if he said so himself. And yet he'd played the goddamn hero for her and she'd
still
not given it up for him.

Had she given it up for Hawk?

If so, it was only one more damn good reason to kill the son of a bitch. And then, unfortunately, her as well. It was going to disappoint him as much as it hurt her, but some things just had to be done….

Abby's condo complex

A
BBY STOOD ON HER BACK PATIO
, hidden behind a tall potted ficus, staring at the glass slider, but unable to see more than her own reflection.

The ficus needed watering.

Story of her life. Oh, she'd been a big talker back there in the SUV, telling Hawk that she was living her life.

Liar.

She was still hiding. Still keeping herself closed off to feelings. But she hadn't kept herself closed off to him, had she? Nope, she'd let him inside both her body and her heart. Come on in, steal the china. Sighing, she pressed her forehead to the potted tree and closed her eyes. What was she doing? Did she have any idea at all…?

No. No, she did not.

Lifting her head, she eyed the glass door again. Hawk had been gone just long enough to get up the stairs. Hawk, who'd put her life ahead of his.

Several times last night alone.

Last night…God, last night. It'd been the wildest night of her entire life. A shuddering sigh went through her. There'd been a moment, several of them, when she'd wanted to stay in his arms forever, as implausible as that wish had seemed.

Implausible and very, very unlikely.

It had just been one night. She was positive there'd been no more to it than fear and adrenaline and need, creating a desire she hadn't been able to ignore. Very soon now things would go back to the way they'd been.

And yet, some things would most certainly change. Her, for one. She'd forever be different for the experience, for discovering that she was every bit as strong as she'd hoped, that she could absolutely be a woman in every sense of the word. That maybe, just maybe, she could even learn to trust her heart again.

Had he entered her bedroom yet?

Had she made her bed?

Why was she standing out here wondering? Clearly, there was no trouble, she'd have heard something by now. Abby let herself inside. In the past, where she'd slept at night had never really been a home. She'd never had the time, nor the inclination to make one. But when she'd come here, she'd tried hard to create a haven, using warm colors, soft, cushy furniture and landscape photos of her favorite places on the walls.

She headed for the stairs, and in the doorway of her bedroom came face to face with the man who could both stop and kickstart her heart.

“Hey,” Hawk said. “I heard you coming. I thought we decided you'd wait outside.”

“No, you decided.”

“Abby.”

“Hawk.” She repeated his tone, which made him laugh a little and reach for her.

She stepped right into his arms, and felt…amazing. Like she wasn't just standing in her home, she'd come home. Tilting her head back, she looked into his eyes, thinking she'd never had a man here, in this bedroom.

She'd never even given it a thought.

And yet this man, this quick-witted, smart, funny, sexy man, looked utterly and completely at home in her space.

It was a good fit.

“What?” he asked softly. “What is it?”

So damn much…“Later,” she said.

Nodding slowly, he dipped his head and kissed her. Just a short, sweet kiss but their lips clung, and then opened, and then tongues got involved, and then…and then they were both panting and sort of arching into each other.

“The laptop,” he murmured, his breath ragged, his hands beneath her shirt. “We're here for the laptop.”

Right. With a steadying breath, she backed out of his arms and pointed to it on the small table by her bed. “And get the locked box out of the drawer underneath it.”

“What's in it?” He grinned at her. “Condoms?”

Abby rolled her eyes. “Something even better for protection—my backup gun and ammo.”

Hawk looked impressed. “A woman after my own heart.”

He headed for the nightstand while she did her best to get her racing pulse back under control—but
whew.
The guy's kiss packed a punch. Past him, on the floor, she could see the clothes she'd tried on yesterday and discarded, and then tried on again before deciding what to wear to a raid with the man she'd been secretly lusting over, as if it had been a date. Which was a joke, because she hadn't dated since…

Since Gaines. And their last date hadn't exactly been a rousing success—

Oh, God.

It all came back to her. He'd taken her to his second home, a luxurious ranch outside of Cheyenne, a “secret haven” he'd called it.

Secret haven
.

“Abby?” Hawk put his hands on her arm. “What is it?”

What was it? Suddenly, she knew where to find Gaines.

Cheyenne Memorial Hospital

L
OGAN OPENED HIS EYES WITH
some trepidation, but to his relief the blazing pain in his head had faded to a dull throbbing.

He could live with that.

Another thing he could live with? The woman curled up at his side.

Callen had stayed. Well, mostly because she hadn't wanted him to leave the hospital, but he knew it was more than that. Any woman who held his head while he tossed his cookies on a helicopter, risked her job to hide him, then played strip poker just to make him listen to her, was interested in more than just a patient/nurse relationship.

Or so he hoped. He stroked a hand down her side and she jerked straight up, eyes clear. “You hurting?” she asked.

“Yes.”

Leaning in, frown in place, she put a hand to his forehead, but he took it in his and brought it to his chest.

There. That felt slightly better. But he wanted to pull her entirely inside him. “Here. I hurt here.”

Still frowning, she yanked his hospital gown down to stare at his chest, her fingers running softly over his skin. “I don't see anything. Let me call the doctor—”

“No, it's not that kind of injury. Listen, Hawk's going to call—”

“He already did. He's coming for you. But—”

“No buts. We won't have time for this once he gets here, and before I go—”

“If you're in pain, we should rethink you going at all.”

“Before I go,” he repeated, “and make a really big fool out of myself here, I just want to ask you something. About last night.” He met her gaze. “It was different, right? I mean, for you, too—”

“I've never been with a patient like this before, if that's what you're asking.” Callen looked down at their clasped hands. “Never. In fact, I haven't…with anyone…in a long time. I haven't met anyone that I wanted—I've been working a lot, and—” She bit her lip and shook her head. “No, those are lies. A year ago I got out of a long relationship, and I haven't wanted to risk my heart again.”

“Makes perfect sense, since I feel the same way. Or did, until about twelve hours ago.”

“Logan—”

“Look, I know this is ridiculously fast, but I've just got to tell you, before today goes straight to hell—”

“No. No going straight to hell. No going anywhere.”

“Actually, yes, I am. With Hawk, but—” He blinked, as he realized something. “I'm not in the same room as before.”

“No.”

His old room had been white, stark and smelled sterile. This one had soft pastel painted walls and different equipment—very different. Stirrups, for one.
Huh.
“Where am I, Callen?”

“I moved you. You're under a different name, on a different floor. Hawk's idea.”

Good. It didn't matter where he was, as long as he got out to help Hawk. “I'll need clothes.”

“Logan, this is crazy.
You're
crazy.”

“Crazy. Yes. Crazy for you. You should know, I have no idea where this thing is going between us. I only know that I don't want it to end when I leave here.”

“Oh.” She breathed this softly, with no hint of whether that was a good or bad
oh
. So he swallowed hard and did the only thing he could, which was lay it all out for her.

“I want to see you again after this is over.”

“You want to see me again.”

“Tonight, if possible.”

“Tonight.”

“And tomorrow. And the next day. And—”

“I…get the idea.”

“But do you like the idea?”

Her smile warmed his heart. “Okay, but Logan? I'm coming with you—”

“No. No way.”

“You'll need a nurse. Especially one with access to stimulants that can keep you on your feet long enough to get somewhere safe, and take care of you when you collapse after they wear off.”

“No, Callen. I'm not risking you.”

She let it go while she brought him clothes. And when he saw what she brought him, he shook his head. “
Hell
, no.”

“If the entrances and exits are being watched…” She smiled cajolingly. “A brand new momma is the perfect disguise to get you out of here undetected.”

Logan stared at the huge tent dress, wig and bag of makeup. “Fuck me.”

She grinned. “Ah, honey. Maybe later. But for now, let's pimp you up.” She helped him pull the huge dress over his head, fussing with it, then standing back to admire it.

He shook his head. “You're enjoying this way too much.”

“Uh-huh.” She placed a dark blond frizzy wig on his head that made him look like a white RuPaul. “Cherry or strawberry?” she asked.

“Huh?”

“Lip gloss.”

“Uh—”

“Strawberry,” she decided, and stepped between his legs to apply the makeup.

His hands went to her hips and he pulled her in snugly, or as snug as she could get with his cast up to his thigh. It wasn't close enough. He spread his legs wider and let his hand slide down her back to squeeze her ass.

“Well.” Callen laughed. “I've never been come on to by a woman before.”

“It's different for me, too, believe me.” He let his hand slip into her scrubs, then beneath the edging of her panties.

Her breath caught. “It feels kinky.”

He'd like to show her a whole bunch more kink but not in a damn dress, that was for sure.

Then she brought him a mirror and he stared at the female version of himself.

He was the ugliest woman he'd ever seen. “I can't believe you let me touch you.”

She snorted, then pulled out a wheelchair.

“Uh-uh. I don't need—”

She shoved a wrapped bundle into his arms. He stared down at the fake baby. “Okay, this is weird.”

“What, the clothing?”

“No. The baby. I've never really seen myself with kids.”

“Never?” She crouched to add booties over his very male feet.

“I guess I never figured myself as the kind of guy who'd settle down and have a woman love him enough to give him a kid.”

Callen glanced up into his face, her hand on his thigh. “You know what that means, right?”

“No, what?”

“That you've never been with the right woman.”

He stared into her eyes, and suddenly found his throat tight. “Is that right?”

Gaze latched on his, she slowly nodded.

“So would you have any idea where I'd find the right woman?”

Her eyes went suspiciously shiny, but she only smiled.

Abby's condo complex

“I
THINK
I
KNOW WHERE
Gaines is,” Abby told Hawk. “He's got another piece of property he doesn't tell people about, an upscale ranch house about thirty minutes from here.”

Hawk absorbed this as they quickly moved back through the gate and along the path, her laptop tucked beneath his arm, her gun in his waistband. He kept one hand free as they headed to the SUV, watching all the angles, his expression dangerous.

She couldn't take her eyes off him. Somehow she'd been caught up in this perilous game between two men capable of doing whatever they needed done. Just days ago she'd have said she didn't trust either of them fully.

But she couldn't say that now. Scary as Hawk seemed as he led her back to the relative safety of the SUV, she knew the truth.

She trusted him with her life. “Hawk.”

He opened the driver's side and urged her in. “Yeah?”

She waited until he'd pulled out of the parking lot. “Do you remember the first thing I said to you last night?”

He sped down the road. “The part about you trusting a rat's ass before you could trust me?”

“Um, yeah.” She winced. “That.” They'd both been Gaines's victims. But no longer. “I've changed my mind.”

He glanced at her with an arched eyebrow. She'd surprised him.

“I can trust you. With anything.”

“Hold that thought,” he said, and whipped them onto a side construction road so fast her hand slapped on the dash. He steered them behind a cluster of trees and yanked on the brake.

“What are you doing?”

“This.” Hauling her to him, he covered her mouth with his.

Yeah, this. This was what she needed. She sank into the kiss, wrapping her arms around him, running her hands up and down his back, over his shoulders, up his neck into his hair, everywhere she could reach. She couldn't get enough of touching him. In this spinning, out-of-control world, he'd become her anchor, her rock.

And given the way he clutched at her, his own hands fighting with hers for purchase, skimming up her sides, her spine, then back to the front, beneath her shirt now, skin to skin, he felt the same way. “I don't want anything to happen to you.” His lips brushed her skin.

“It won't.” She cupped his face as he gently set his forehead to hers. They stayed that way a moment before Hawk drew a deep breath and lifted his head to look into her eyes.

He'd shifted gears already, and she took a moment to catch up.

“Abby.”

She sighed.

“Gaines's ranch. Can you tell me where it is?”

“That would be a really bad idea.”

“Or a really good one.”

She understood the problem. Without ever wanting to, she'd become his soft spot, his Achilles' heel. Whether she was with him by choice or not didn't matter to Gaines, that she was with him at all made her a problem. A dispensable one. If he didn't get to Gaines, Gaines would likely get to him. And her. “I can draw you a map,” she admitted.

“Good.” Hawk punched some numbers into her cell phone. “Callen? Is he ready?” He listened, and his brow raised as he glanced at Abby. “I can talk to him? Great, thanks.” There was a pause. “God, Logan, are you ever a sound for sore ears—”

His voice was so husky with emotion, she felt her throat tighten.

“Are you sure you're up for this, Logan, because—yeah, I hear you. Jesus, am I glad to hear you.”

Abby looked out the window, concentrating on breathing as she listened to their reunion. They spoke in short, clipped sentences that spoke of the longtime ease between them, and an ability to guess what the other was thinking.

She'd never had a relationship like that in her entire life, because she didn't open up. She had started to with Gaines, and look what had happened. He'd set her up to be tortured.

How was she supposed to ever trust her judgment again?

She peeked at Hawk, still talking to Logan. He was trying to line up a secure place to dump her. Was she going to let him do that?

“I want her safe.”

The words did something to the cold spot in her heart. The truth was, in spite of herself, she
had
learned to trust again. She knew Hawk was innocent. She knew he cared about her, and the knowledge warmed her in a way she'd never experienced.

She wished they were still at the B&B and she was back in his arms, where everything was okay as long as he kept holding her. Because with him, no matter what was going on, she felt safe. “Hawk, I'm staying with you.”

Eyeing her, he said into the phone, “Are you sure, because Christ, Logan—yeah. Okay. We'll be right there to get you. Yeah, ‘we.'” With a sigh, he closed the phone and reached behind him for her laptop, which he handed to her. “Serial numbers.”

“What's the matter?”

He shook his head. “In a minute. Look up the serial numbers.”

She started up her computer and her e-mail program automatically opened. On a hunch, Abby opened some old files, then leaned back and shook her head.

“What?” Hawk leaned over her to try and see.

“You said you shot Gaines on that raid eighteen months ago.”

“Yes.”

“You didn't know it was Gaines at the time.”

“I didn't come to suspect so until later, no.”

“Eighteen months ago he took a one-month leave.” She flipped through several e-mails from him from that time. “Emergency appendicitis.” She looked at him. “Too bad I don't believe in coincidence.” Feeling overwhelmed by how big this was, she rubbed her hands over her face. “My God.”

He reached for her, but she straightened and shook her head. Not the time to fall apart. “The serial numbers.” While she pulled up another file, he grabbed the confiscated rifle and read her the number.