Shadow of God (25 page)

“If you had not been prowling about my front door every day, our ‘chance’ meeting the second time might not have happened.”

“Good thing I did, isn’t it?” He pointed to the stream and the butterflies and the remains of the lunch. “‘It’s a dream,
n’est-ce pas
? Who could have known? Some years ago this could not have been. We knights have all sworn vows of celibacy. The past Grand Masters would not have tolerated anything such as this.”

“I should think not.”

“The rules were very strict. The young knights had to go about in groups of twos and threes, and not just with their friends, but with whomever the Master has ordered. Chaperones, you see.”

Melina laughed, and asked, “Have we any chaperones lurking about today?”

“No. But it was strict then. No women were allowed to make the beds in the
Auberges
. Still aren’t. Or wash our hair. It is even written that we must not sleep naked, but fully dressed in wool!”

Melina laughed, and squeezed Jean’s arm.

“And, hear this,” he said, “for we all have it memorized. ‘If a Brother—may it never happen—falls into fornication because of the strength of evil passions, if he has sinned in secret, let him repent in secret and impose on himself a suitable penance.”

Melina roared with delight, and rolled back upon the blanket. “Oh, Jean, have you repented in private? Have you?”

“But, wait, wait. It gets better yet. ‘If the fornication is
known
and
proved
, the knight is to be beaten by a superior, very severely with whips and sticks, and excluded from the Order for a year!’”

Melina grabbed Jean’s shoulders and pulled him down on top of her. He struggled to pull free, but she locked her arms around his neck and held tight.

“
Sacré Coeur! Mon Dieu!
Why woman, what will you make of me?” he said imitating the accent of the Grand Master. “Have you no shame! Where’s my whip?”

Melina held fast as the two grew quiet. She kissed him lightly on the mouth, and he sank onto her.

“But, times have changed. And so they should.”

“Thank God for that,” she whispered.

“We were never meant to be monks to live our lives in cells. Cut off from life. Our mission to serve the poor and the sick is of itself enough for God, I think. Why chain us to such an unnatural oath?”

“It’s unnatural, Jean. Men and women were not made to live apart.”

“I swear I would have left the knights for you, my love.” Jean paused. He seemed lost in thought, so Melina did not interrupt him. “Do you know why I take the extra duties at the hospital?”

Melina shook her head. “It’s because it troubles me when I see what our Order has become. Oh, yes, we still serve the poor and the sick. But, we’re really just pirates. We sail these waters and take booty whenever we please. We attack every ship we can, and make slaves of its crew and passengers.”

Still, Melina said nothing. Jean continued. “We are no better than that fiend, Cortoglu, about whom the Grand Master rages all the time. This was not our calling. Why, we have been on this island for more than two hundred years. This place is a paradise. There are crops and fruits to feed everyone here.

“The climate is kind. And, we straddle the richest trade routes in the world. From this place we could be legitimate tradesmen, and sail these seas as honest merchants instead of…” Jean shook his head. “Slavers.”

Melina gently touched his lips. “You should be careful who hears you say these things, my love. This is treasonous talk.”

“But, our Order has become something other than that which I joined so long ago. I have no heart for these things. I don’t know
what I should do. I have sworn an oath. And, as far as caring for the sick and defending our city, I have no problem. But, the next time I am ordered to serve my time in the galleys…I just don’t know.”

Melina had no answer for Jean’s dilemma. She said, “Jean. Will they leave us alone? Will this go on? Will the Grand Master allow us to live as we have?”

“We cannot hope that he would sanctify a marriage. He may turn his back upon his knights living with women on the island, but a true marriage performed in the church would violate the oath we swore. He has sworn the same oath. But there is some talk in our
langue
that he left a woman of his own behind in Paris. I don’t know if this is just soldiers’ gossip or if there’s truth in it. But, if it is so, it could explain a great deal. Hélène, I think she is called.”

Melina pulled back and looked into Jean’s eyes. “Explain what?”

“His singlemindedness of purpose. It is almost as if he has thrown himself into this new position with such fervor as to extinguish all thoughts of Paris. To work and punish himself with long hours and dangerous missions to expiate the guilt he feels for breaking his vows to God.”

“I hope such guilt will not cloud his judgment, Jean.”

“I, too. But, as for our marriage, he will never relent. He would never sanctify it. For I, too, have broken my vows.”

“Is there nothing we can do?”

“If it means so much to you, could not the Greek priest marry us in the privacy of his church?”

Melina looked away. She seemed not able to meet Jean’s eyes. He pulled her back and kissed her again. “What is it,
Chérie?
”

“Oh, Jean. It’s much more complicated than you know. I have not had the heart to tell you before now, because I didn’t want to add to your burden. I didn’t think it would matter. Only that we were in love. That would be all we needed to be happy.”

“And?”

“Jean, it is more than my being Greek and you a Latin.”

“Then it’s time you told me. What is it?”

They sat up together, side by side. Melina dangled her toes in the cool water, and Jean stared off at the pattern of the butterflies
on the trees and the ground. Then she began.

“Jean, my family is not from Rhodes. It’s a very long story, but we came from Spain. We were Sephardic Jews.”

Jean sat up straighter and stared into Melina’s eyes.

“My father and mother fled during the Inquisition. All their family were killed. They, alone, survived to come here. They went to North Africa first, but things were hard there. So they joined a fishing fleet, and sailed here as part of the crew. My mother worked as the cook. They landed in Lindos first, but could not find enough work. They had spent their whole lives in the city. My father was a banker. He lost everything, and started in Lindos as a fisherman. But, they could not make a living, so they moved to the city and lived in the Jewish Quarter. My father fished and did various jobs as a laborer. My mother worked at whatever she could. Eventually, she got a good job in the silk factory. I was born right in that little house near the synagogue.”

She paused and stared across the little stream. Jean waited for her to continue.

“Things were fine for a while. Then the Grand Master—it was d’Aubusson then—ordered all the Jews off the island. My parents were among the few that refused to leave and refused to convert. He ordered all the Jewish children seized from the parents and baptized. I was taken from them when I was only an infant, so I don’t remember them at all. I know they died in that horrible pit. But, I’m sure they kept their faith to the end.”

Jean reached over and squeezed her hand. The tears were flowing freely now. Melina looked into Jean’s eyes, and saw that he was crying as well.

“They died as Jews, Jean, and I was given to a family of Christians. I was baptized, and raised as a Christian until I was twelve. Then my adopted father died, and a year later my new mother grew ill. They were always very kind to me. I thought they were my real parents. Just before she died she told me the story; of my real parents, and that I was born Jewish.

“When my adopted parents died, I had nobody left in the world. No brothers or sisters. All my real family were killed in Spain or
killed here on Rhodes. When I heard the story, I couldn’t believe it. So, I went around asking everyone I could find. This is a small island and a small community. Nobody would tell me anything. Finally, I went to the synagogue and talked to the rabbi. He confirmed everything. Everything. All at once, I wanted to be myself. My true self. So I asked the rabbi if I could once again become a Jew. He told me he could teach me many things about Judaism. It seems that the religion requires that in order for the child to be accepted as a Jew, the mother must be born a Jew. So, I was really already a Jew, and needed only to be taught the ways of my family.”

Jean pulled Melina close to him and wrapped her in his arms. She placed her head on his shoulders and continued to tell her story.

“I’m Jewish, Jean. All my grown life I have hated the knights and the Christians. I hated them as a Greek whose island they invaded. I hated them as the Christians who tortured and killed my people. I just wanted to be a Jew and to wall myself up in the Jewish Quarter. I managed to find the house where I was born, and the family who lived there took me in. They made me part of their family. When they died, I stayed on. And then you found me. Oh, Jean, how I hated the knights and what they stood for. But, when you came along, I was so lonely. I had nothing in my life until I saw you there. God had brought us together, my love. I know he has.”

Jean sat quietly, collecting himself. He dried his eyes, and said, “It doesn’t matter, Melina. None of it matters. I fell in love with
you
. Not the Jew or the Greek or the Christian. By God, my own Order would have shunned you anyway because you were Greek Orthodox, and not of the church of Rome. It’s absurd! Nobody has challenged my right to remain out of the
Auberge
at night. It’s no secret that I live with you, yet none dares mention it to me. So we will keep our house, and I shall stay a knight. And damned be he who tries to get in the way of us.”

Melina put her head against her lover’s chest, and they both lay back upon the grassy bank. They slept the early afternoon away. Then, damp with the sweat of sleep, they awoke, in the cool of the setting sun. Jean undressed, and then helped Melina remove her
clothes. They left their clothes among the butterflies that carpeted the glade, and together, holding hands, they slipped into the cool stream. The chill rippled their skin as they slid down into the cover of the running water. Jean could feel Melina’s cool, wet skin slide beneath his fingertips. Neither spoke, but held each other as the gentle current of the water washed over them. They felt each other’s bodies grow warm with their longing. After some time, they left the water and made love in the sand at the edge of the little stream. Both of them were waiting for the arrival of the two new lives that were already growing to term in Melina’s womb.

The Grand Master strode into his chambers and threw his cape and sword on the bed. He removed his gauntlets and the remaining elements of his formal uniform. A servant had filled a golden flagon with red wine, which now stood half full at a bedside table. Philippe drank the rest of the wine, and cut himself a slice of cheese and bread that had been placed there as well. He looked over a few notes of paper that were on his desk, and then threw them down again. Finally, he slumped into a large stuffed armchair, and put his feet up on a footstool. A servant entered the room.

“Get Antonio Bosio in here at once!” Philippe shouted.

The servant turned and sped from the room without a word. The windows were open, and the spring breeze delighted Philippe. He got up again and began to pace the room. From time to time, he glanced out of the windows set in the thick stone wall of his Palace. He looked into the large walled courtyard of the Convent, which took up nearly a quarter of the walled city of Rhodes. From the other side of his rooms, he could see the water. He was grateful that his quarters gave out onto the expansive view of the sea.

Philippe became impatient, and poured himself some water from a pitcher. Then, because there was little else to do, he cut some more bread and cheese. There was fruit on the table, but he was really not that hungry.

There was a knock at the partially open door, and his Servant-at-Arms, Antonio Bosio, entered the room. Bosio stood at attention
near the door until Philippe motioned him to come in and sit down.

“I cannot take a single more of these ceremonies, Antonio. I have been paraded around Rhodes from one dinner to another. Received one ambassador after another. These formal receptions make me obese and nearly drunk with the toasting and the good wishes. And the processions in the afternoon heat. Don’t the Rhodians have work to do? Crops to get in?”

“Yes,
Seigneur
. It’s tiresome. But, the ceremony is part of what defines you for these people. For the Greeks as well as for the knights of our Order. And you must be seen face to face with each of the holy fathers—the Greek as well as the Latin.”

“It’s wonderful to see the old shipmates, and knights who have stood beside me in battle. They are old friends and it lifts my heart to see them again. But, if I have to sit through one more Te Deum or Mass, I will truly have calluses on my buttocks.”

Bosio smiled and nodded to Philippe. “I think we can safely say that the worst is over, my Lord. We seem to have run out of bishops—Greek and Latin—as well as Piliers of the
langues
, bailiffs, judges…who is left?”