Shadow of the Moon (15 page)

As Kayla, Lindsey, and Brittany each migrated toward their mates, I felt a little sorry for Seth, who seemed so alone. As far as I knew, he’d never declared a mate. But then, technically, neither had Daniel.

Daniel strolled over to me. “A couple of hours before we head out.”

I nodded. “I’m trying not to think about it.”

“Hard to shut it off.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Are they having any luck doing it?”

I shook my head. “No. But everyone’s trying to keep their emotions even, so they don’t infringe on my space.”

“They care about you,” he said. “I don’t know if you can feel that.”

“I never know who the emotions are directed at. Sometimes I can guess….” I shrugged.

“Don’t even think it,” he said.

I jerked my gaze back to his, which was smoldering with passion, but I thought it was ignited by anger as well.

“What?” I asked.

“Don’t think about going off on your own. You know I’ll find you. They can find you as well.”

“Yeah, that whole scent thing is irritating.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “So why did it take you so long to find me before, at the ski resort? I was there for a couple of weeks before you showed up.”

He grinned that devilish smile. “You were there for a couple of weeks before I let you know I was there.”

“So when you said you’d just arrived that day—you lied?”

He shrugged. “I figured it would make you less mad than knowing that I’d been watching you for a while.”

“Why wait?”

“You looked happy. You weren’t peering out of a window looking sad.”

“I don’t know if I’m going to stay here, Daniel. After tonight. It’s draining, holding their emotions back.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t know if I’ll stay either.” He touched my cheek. “We can talk about it later.”

We went into the dining room and took our places at the long table. Elder Wilde sat at the head, one elder on each side of him, with Lucas at the foot of the table. I supposed there would come a time when he would take his place at the head of the table but not yet.

I sat between Daniel and Seth. I could sense Seth’s nervousness even before I realized that his right leg was constantly in motion, moving up and down, quick jerks. He’d encountered the harvester before.

I leaned over and whispered, “You don’t have to go.”

He snapped his head around to look at me, a question in his eyes.

“Tonight,” I answered to his unspoken question. “You could stay behind.”

I saw a flash of anger, felt it. “I’m not a coward.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“I’m antsy, that’s all. Ready to get started.”

“She didn’t mean anything, dude,” Daniel said, and while I couldn’t feel his emotions, I sensed the tenseness in his body.

I didn’t want a fight here.

“Sorry,” I whispered.

The cook brought out the food. Steak. Rare. Basking in its own red juices. I thought about sticking with my vegetarian diet, but for some reason tonight I craved red meat.
The nearness of my full moon
, I thought.
You can’t deny your wolf instincts.

And wolves are carnivores. Aware of Daniel watching me, I sliced off some meat and ate it. The succulent flavor burst through my mouth. Never had anything tasted so good.

“Heightened taste,” he leaned in and whispered, and I could smell the piney scent of him, stronger than before.

“I may never be a vegetarian again.” My senses were becoming stronger. Soon, very soon, the moon would be calling to me.

When we finished eating, we gathered again in the parlor. The elders were standing near the fire. The rest of us were scattered throughout the room, but near enough to hear them easily. I decided all of our nerves were jangling. None of us could sit still.

Fear and anxiety darted in and out of me—but they were mine.

“We will not be going with you,” Elder Wilde said, drawing me close, giving me a comforting hug. “We must remain here. The Dark Guardians will protect you.”

“I could go alone, with a sword—”

“You will not be able to hold on to it once your shift begins,” he pointed out.

“I could try.”

“And if you fail, you die.”

“But why should they risk their lives for me?”

“Because you are part of the pack.”

And I realized there was a price to pay for belonging.

“The girls will help you prepare,” he said.

I knew there were rituals, a white robe to be worn. Usually the girl was alone with her mate, and she prepared herself. Nothing for me was the way it was supposed to be.

“Are you ready to face your destiny?” Elder Wilde asked me.

I nodded, my mouth dry, my stomach knotting up.

He gave me a warm smile. “All will be well.”

And I wondered if he could see the future or had a crystal ball. I almost mouthed off about it, but out of respect—and because I was more nervous than I’d ever been in my life—I didn’t say anything.

“Is there any other business before we adjourn so Hayden may begin the rituals?” Elder Wilde asked.

“Yes, sir,” Daniel said, and my heart lurched. He crossed over to me, each stride long and graceful, each movement reminding me of what he was. He moved with the sinewy grace of a predatory cat.

When he reached me, he stopped and held my gaze. “I told you that the elders had asked for someone to step forward and be your mate—and I volunteered—but the final choice is still yours.” Holding both my hands in his, he went down on one knee. “I declare you my mate. Hayden, will you accept me?”

Joy and pain riffled through me. I could give him only one answer, and it broke my heart to do it. But I wouldn’t risk the one person I loved above all others.

My voice was quiet, sure, and steady. “No.”

SEVENTEEN

It was the hardest thing I’d ever done. To say that single word.

I couldn’t feel his emotions, but I saw the shock and confusion in his eyes as he slowly straightened. Almost worse was experiencing what everyone else was feeling: disbelief, pity—no doubt for Daniel—sorrow.

I watched as he straightened his shoulders, was keenly aware that he was struggling to hold on to his pride. Knew he would never forgive me for this moment of shame and embarrassment.

And I’d only just begun.

“Daniel isn’t one of us,” I told Elder Wilde.

I actually felt betrayal ripple through Daniel—or maybe I was just processing the stiffness of his body.

“He shifts into a panther.”

More disbelief coming from the others. I heard quiet murmurings. We all knew that not all Shifters were wolves, but I suspected that, like me, none of them had ever known any other kind.

“Have you seen him shift?” Elder Wilde asked.

“Yes. I also know that sometimes when the harvester attacked, Daniel wasn’t nearby. I think…I think somehow he and the harvester are connected.”

“Why in the hell would you think that?” Daniel asked.

I turned to face him. “You told me it killed your parents. You led it here.”

He shook his head in denial. “No.”

“You know you did! The full moon, the night I ran away. That was the first harvester attack here. It had never found us before that. It started with you, Daniel. It started with you.” I looked back at the elder, pleading. “I don’t want him with me tonight.”

“You can’t stop me! You can’t—”

Elder Thomas struck so fast that I barely saw it. His hand chopped against Daniel’s neck. Daniel dropped to his knees, clearly stunned.

“Lucas, Rafe,” Elder Wilde said. “Lock him in the dungeon. We will deal with this matter later. The time is nearing for Hayden’s full moon.”

“Are you sure—” Lucas began.

“I’m sure.”

They each grabbed his arms. Daniel looked at me with loathing. It blasted into me, and even though I wasn’t absorbing the emotion, it still caused a sharp pain in my heart, a pain I was surprised I was able to survive.

As I watched them drag him away, I realized nothing else I faced tonight would be as horrible as what I’d seen in his eyes.

EIGHTEEN

My heart heavy, I trudged through the forest wearing snow boots and a thick, white, velvety robe that I could easily discard once my shift started.

I knew that I’d lost Daniel forever, that he’d never forgive me for turning him away, for making the others doubt him. But if I’d accepted him as my mate, tradition would have dictated that he be beside me now, in a black robe. And during my transformation, he would shift and join me—me in wolf form, he in panther.

And the harvester would have destroyed us both.

I wasn’t sure why the first shift couldn’t take place within the gates that surrounded the manor. Maybe it had something to do with whatever protected Wolford from the outside world.

Within the forest were special areas—romantic places—that the guys took their mates for their first shift. But we stopped at the first clearing we reached. There would be nothing romantic about tonight.

Kayla laid a quilt over the snow.

“I’ve never given any thought to what the Shifters who first transform in winter go through,” Lindsey said. “Glad my birthday is in summer.”

“No kidding,” Rafe said. “You’d have gone through it alone.”

She slapped playfully at his arm, but there was a nervousness to their energy.

With the exception of Brittany, the Dark Guardians had always battled in wolf form. Now the scabbards were at their sides. They should have looked out of place in this modern world, but on them the swords simply reinforced their destiny as Dark Guardians, warriors who would do whatever they needed to protect our kind.

Tonight the seven of them were there to protect me.

I looked up at the black sky and thought it had never been more beautiful, or more foreboding. The moon was a bright orb, its light filtering through the clouds in front of it, giving them an eerie glow. The stars were vast. I knew the constellations, but for some reason I couldn’t make out any of them. Maybe I was as distracted and nervous as the others.

I was pleased with the success I was having at blocking back their emotions, but I knew I would lose this fine tether hold once the battle began. The courage, bravado, fears would surge to heart-pounding levels. I wouldn’t be able to ward them off.

All I could do was focus on my own feelings and hope I could somehow remain lucid and able to react to whatever happened.

As though understanding the direction of my thoughts, Kayla put her arms around me. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Maybe we should have done this in the basement instead,” Brittany said.

My stomach knotted up with the thought of Daniel locked there now—and what he must be feeling.

“Good move, Brit,” Lindsey said.

“Oh, crap. I’m sorry.”

“Brick walls and locks won’t keep this creature out,” Connor said as he put his arm around her. “No harm, no foul in mentioning Daniel. He’s not far from any of our thoughts. How did we not figure him out?”

“Especially me,” Brittany said. “I spent the most time with him.”

“Yeah, but you were probably ignoring him mostly,” Rafe said. “You didn’t want him for a mate.”

Brittany looked at me. “Not because I didn’t think he was cute or anything. And he was nice.”

“He just wasn’t Connor,” I said, forcing a crooked smile.

She snuggled up against her mate. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” Lucas said. “We need to start preparing.”

I looked at the sky. The moon was higher. As soon as it reached its zenith…

Removing my fur-lined boots, I tossed them off to the side and stepped onto the quilt. I could still feel the cold easing through to the soles of my feet. I drew the robe more tightly around me. Kayla had brushed my hair to a sheen and tucked a violet bloom near my temple—as though I cared what I looked like.

I wasn’t preparing myself to share my first shifting with my mate. I was preparing to face the harbinger of death.

The Dark Guardians circled me.

“Remember,” Lucas said to the others, “no matter what your instincts scream at you—do not shift.”

The metal rasps of swords leaving scabbards echoed through the night.

“And remember not to stab these things in each other,” Connor said.

I knelt on the quilt, hoping I wouldn’t become a sacrificial lamb. Turning my face upward, I felt the moonlight caress my skin and thought of Daniel. The boldness with which he’d walked through the door of the chocolate café. The tenderness with which he held me. The heat of his kisses. The beauty of his animal form. Even if I survived tonight, I’d never experience all the myriad wonders of him again.

I felt the first tingle of skin, muscles, bone. As though a gentle current of electricity was flowing through them.

“I think”—I heard the panic in my voice, breathed deeply, calmed myself—“it’s starting.”

Around me the others adjusted their stances, raised their swords slightly. Seth knelt in front of me on the quilt and laid his sword between us.

Panic rattled through me. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to guide you through your transformation.”

I shook my head emphatically, and my voice was fierce. “No. You can’t do that. You can’t risk—”

“You’ll die—”

“I’ll take that chance. I’m not willing to risk someone else. Why do you think I told all those lies about Daniel?”

His eyes widened. “He’s not a panther?”

“He is.” Tears stung my eyes. “But he’s not associated with the harvester. He’s the most noble—” My throat clogged. “Please. Please, don’t do this.”

He looked up at Lucas. I twisted around and faced Lucas, too. “Please,” I rasped. “I can do this by myself. But if I’m worried about Seth…I have to be able to concentrate.”

He hesitated, swore harshly beneath his breath. “Just flow with it. When the pain gets too great. Just flow with it.”

I nodded, all the gratitude I felt for his decision reflected in my eyes.

“Seth, get into position,” Lucas ordered.

I knew Seth wouldn’t have appreciated knowing that I felt immense relief flowing through him. He could bravely face the harvester with sword in hand, but helping me through my transformation had not been his first choice regarding how he wanted to spend tonight. But still I was grateful to him as well. I had always known that the Dark Guardians were the protectors of our kind, but I’d never fully understood the sacrificial lengths they’d go to in order to shield us from harm. I didn’t know if I was worthy to be one of them, but I was certainly going to give it my best.

I felt my body tingling, little pinpricks of pain jumping through it as though circuits were being tested.

I was aware of the Guardians taking their positions. I could feel their readiness, their alertness.

But nothing could prepare us for what came up through the ground in front of us.

The harvester had arrived, and he’d brought with him six hounds from hell.