Shadow of the Sun (The Shadow Saga) (44 page)

“After you west, who will keep this going? I simply cannot. You have no sons to further your construction. Your reign of mystic fantasy will die with you. Mark my words: when you west, we will be slaughtered and your devotees will flee like fleas!”

Terror gripped my senses, bitterness burned my throat. I tore back the curtain and crumpled on the floor as if a ram had butted me in the gut.

“We will be slaughtered?”

My parents turned to me, horrified that their words had been carried upon the wind.

“Merit-Aten, how long have you been standing there?” Netri kneeled down beside me.

“Unless I produce heirs, we will be killed?” I asked.

“That is your Meti’s belief,” answered Netri. “Not mine.”

“I would do anything to protect my family,” I said with a quaver.

“We know, Beloved,” said Netri. “I believe the Aten has called you to change the balance of the country’s power. This is the way we save our family and our country.”

“You mean that I cannot do both?” I asked, fearing the burden of bringing forth the next generation would be placed upon my shoulders.

“That is impossible,” declared Meti, “or I would have been an Adept by now.”

“You cannot go through these rituals and carry a child. You would risk the chance of losing it when you receive the cosmic light,” replied Netri.

“If I walk the path of an Adept, I could lead my people as the Sacred High Priestess of Aten. This will restore harmony to our land. My sisters could bear children.”

“Meket is not well and it will be five years until Ankhi comes of age. You will have to choose,” stated Meti.

H
er wrath pricked every nerve in my body. “You want me to choose now?” I felt dizzy and had to steady myself. “I cannot.”

“It would not be fair to ask her to choose now,” Netri said to my mother, his tone firm, almost angry. “She must have time to contemplate each path and their relative consequences. I trust Merit-Aten will make the right choice for herself. We cannot influence the destiny that lies within her heart. Go, Beloved, take sanctuary in your chamber.” He guided me to the door.

I fled down the endless hallway toward my quarters. As I raced over the bright faience tiled floor, the painted duck and fowl drawings scattered beneath my feet. Fish jumped from the Nile waters as the papyrus reeds parted for my passing.

How could I choose between Meti and Netri? Rushing through the doors to the patio, I yearned for the comfort of my private courtyard. I detested it when my parents quarreled and, unbeknownst to them, I carried the burden of their battle on my back. What should I do? Which way should I turn? Either decision would disappoint one of my parents.

From the darkness of my pillared patio, a figure emerged.

“What vexes you, child?” said Amaret as she pointed at me. I could see the mudbrick wall through her smoky outline.

“How did you get here?” I asked, shocked at her eerie apparition.

“I traveled upon the wings of night and heard your heart cry,” replied the seer, as if hiding in the dark had been a natural circumstance.

“I am torn as to which direction to take, the path of my father or my mother.”

“Then ask the Lords On High,” replied Amaret. Her wild grey hair blew even in the still of the night. She faded away, leaving only a shimmer of a memory.

How do I ask them, and will they hear my plea?
I lifted my face up to the heavens, searching for the star I called home.

“Please, I need guidance. To the Radiant Celestial Lords, show me my true destiny.”

I waited for divination but nothing happened. I sat cross-legged and put my hands in moodra position. If I could levitate, I would believe that the Lords existed. Nothing. I did not move even a snail’s tail. Maybe they couldn’t hear me.

A tiny pin prick of light opened in the sky. Then a faint trickle of light fell from the heavenly world. The solar radiance descended upon me, lighting my courtyard like daytime. A brilliant light, one so bright that I thought my eyes would be blinded, poured down upon me. The radiance encircled me, warming me and filling my heart with peace.

“It is time. The Mystery will be revealed. Your answer is forthcoming,” said a booming masculine voice.

“What Mystery?” I asked, now quite intrigued as I lifted my face to receive this cosmic outpouring.

“Do you wish for your destiny and true talents to unfold?” the voice asked. My eyes grew round and my breathing quickened.

“Ego. Salvation. Revelation.” I repeated the words from my birth night.

“Yes, please show me my true calling.”

I lifted up my hand and a wondrous Atenic light emitted from my flesh as if every speck of me attuned to the Cosmic Sun. All the knowledge of the universe was bestowed upon me. The Aten had summoned me!

“One more question?” I asked, looking up and shielding my eyes.

“Yes?”

“Can I levitate now?”

The light disappeared in a flash.

A
fortnight later, Meti’s thundercloud of rage had passed over us. “Let us take a swim. Who will join me in the pool?”

“I will,” I said, grateful for her invitation.

“I need to attend to temple matters. I am sorry, my Heart, another night,” said Father with regret. He grimaced and looked down. “It is something that I cannot put aside. Tomorrow, we could swim.”

“No. We shall swim tonight because tomorrow night I have made other arrangements,” she said, peeved at his rejection. She tugged at her right earring. “Merit-Aten and I will enjoy our swim and we will tell you about it in the morning.” She put her arm about my shoulders. It felt good to giggle again as we snuck off to shed our temple clothes.

“I shall meet you at the pool. I need to kiss the girls good night.”

My heart sang in this moment. Moved by the joy, I skipped into my room and headed toward my dressing chamber. Something was draped over my bed. I picked up the simple linen sheath and white cord. A candle twinkled in a golden holder. A scroll leaned against it next to a small cup of red wine. My smile faded as I unrolled the scroll and read the words.

‘You are hereby summoned to attend the secret first gathering of the Aten School of Mystery. Wear only the clothes provided for you and tell no one. Follow the map after the last horn blows, signaling the changing guard. This will be your only notice.’

Mystery School? Could this be what the Celestial Lords meant about the mystery being revealed? My hands shook. Keeping it secret meant I couldn’t even ask my father or mother for fear of disobeying. The last horn of the evening would sound any moment. I had to get ready.

I couldn’t reveal this to anyone, not even my attendant. Who would dress me? With trepidation, I slipped the well-made yet unadorned sheath over my head and struggled with how to tie the long white cord about my waist. I retied it several times until satisfied. Scanning the map, I felt thankful to recognize that this secret meeting would be located in the private temple in my father’s palace. He couldn’t swim with us because he must know about this meeting.

“No,” I cried out loud, and cringed. I wouldn’t be able to swim with Meti tonight. How would I tell her? If she forced me to explain that I chose to attend a Mystery School, then her rage would return with gale force. What if I didn’t go tonight? I could still swim with her and attend the Mystery School another night. My problems were solved. I could please both my parents by choosing a consort and becoming a full Initiate and Sacred High Priestess. If I put my mind to it, I could remain chaste and do both. After all chaste just meant taking regular baths and shaving. That shouldn’t be so hard.

I reread the scroll. There would be no other offer. Even though I was his daughter I couldn’t let my father down. I picked up the small cup of wine and took a sip to ease my nerves. An idea formed. I spilt the wine upon my discarded sheath until the blood-red stain soiled the linen.

“Attendant,” I yelled.

“Yes, Your Highness,” answered a dark-skinned woman who clattered down the hall.

“I have commenced my flow and ruined my sheath. Destroy this garment that is now unworthy. I feel ill and do not wish to be disturbed tonight. Please tell my Meti I am not well enough to swim. Send my apologies.”

“Yes, Your Highness.” She bowed low and took the ruined garment.

Only a frog’s leap after she departed, the shrill horn sounded, signaling the guard change for night shift. I steadied myself, unable to breathe. My hands shook.

First I fixed my bed. I crammed cotton towels under my coverings, making it appear to be my form. I blew out my candle, pulled on a plain brown cape and crept out the door to the large garden. The waning moon hid my passage. Crossing the yard, I slipped through the open air portico that connected our palace to my father’s. I had to get past the main hallway to the temple without being noticed. Every step made me tremble. This time I couldn’t walk in confidence of my royal station. At the end of the hall, an attendant turned the corner.

“You there. You should not be in this corridor at this time of night. Where are you going?” the stout woman demanded.