Shadow of the Wolf (9 page)

     “Unfortunately, they also passed down the werewolf curse.  I could only go as far back in my family tree as I could.  The last man with the curse that I know of was Joseph Van Holden, the man who actually founded Holden,
Alabama.  I know there are others.  I just haven’t found them yet.

     “
When I was born, everything seemed normal to me.  What did I know of family curses?  I noticed a change in my body when puberty hit.  I was quiet about it until my dad came to me one day and explained what was going on.  It was nothing like the puberty you see in normal boys.  Everything I experienced, from sexual urges to hair, was magnified.  My dad taught me how to calm them enough to where I could control them.  When that stopped being effective, I had to start using small amounts of tincture.  I didn’t need much but as I got older, I had to increase the dosage.  The last thing my dad helped me with was how to grow Monkshood and use them for injections.  He died not long after in a painful death.”

     Serenitee swallowed as hot tears fell.

     Trevor put his arm around her shoulder, trying his best to comfort her.  “Death isn’t what puts fear in my heart.”

     “What do you fear most?”

     “I’m scared that one day, animals won’t satisfy my hunger.  It scares the hell out of me that the wolf will move on to humans.  That will be the day I would beg for death.”  H stood up and began to pace.

     Serenitee got up as well.  “Please don’t say that.”

     “I have to!  This curse is hard to live with but when I began to feel close to someone, it feels like it gets worse”

     “How?”

     “Look at me!”  He grabbed her arms.  “I can’t control myself when I turn.  I kill innocent animals just to devour them.   I don’t want to taste your blood, Serenitee.”

     “You said you’ve n
ever attacked or killed humans.” She reminded him.

     “I haven’t.  But I’ve never felt for any woman the way I feel for you.  You bring out powerful lust in me and that’s dangerous…….for you.  The fact that we’ve made love a number of times only heightens those feelings in me.  I’m
just scared for you, Serenitee.  Mixing and mingling that lust with that animal hunger are hard to separate.  I don’t want you to die at my hands.”

    
“There has got to be a cure, Trevor.” 

     He caught that hope flickering in her eyes and wished he could feel the same way.  “
If Joseph, and all the way down to my dad, couldn’t find out how to cure the beast, then what makes you think I can?”

     “Please, let me help you, Trevor.”

     “No one can help me,” he said with a defeatist tone.

     “You’re giving up?”

     “What am I supposed to do, Serenitee?  The Monkshood has stopped working completely.  I don’t know why I continue to make myself sick with the stuff if it’s useless.  And don’t even mention silver bullets.  That’s a total myth and a laughable one at that.  The only thing it would do would incapacitate me for a while.  That doesn’t mean that my curse would be broken.  But since I have no kids, I know it can stop with me.”

     Serenitee tried not to let his final words sadden her.  She loved him and he felt the same.  But he let this curse dictate his life.  He didn’t want children to pass this gene to.  She understood that.  She wanted kids eventually.  So, where did that leave them?

     “You want to be the last Van Holden, don’t you?”

     Trevor ran his hand through his hair.  “It’s not that I don’
t want to settle down and have kids.  I don’t think it’s fair to put them through what I have to go through.  If I had a boy, he would be cursed.  Since the sex of the baby turns to me, I would only blame myself for not having a girl.  They are untouched by the gene but not from the turmoil it causes.  Besides, if I have only eight more years left to me, how would my kids feel to lose their daddy so young?  I can’t do that.  I’m not strong enough to do what my father did.”

    
Serenitee forced him to look at her.  “You’re stronger than you think.  Your father made the ultimate decision in having a family.  He knew there was a 50/50 chance of having a boy but he did it anyway.  He did it because he wanted a family and some kind of normalcy in his life.  Don’t you want that, too, Trevor?”

     Trevor sighed.  “Just because I want it doesn’t mean I’ll get it.  I don’t have much time left and I don’t want to spend it having a wife and kids when I know I won’t be there for them.”

     “So you want these eight years to live in solitude?”  She wanted him to say no.  She wanted him to change his mind. 

     “What choice do I have?”

     She had her answer.  She wanted to shake some sense into him.  She couldn’t spend her time pining away for him either.  If they broke it off now, it would make it easier.  Yes, she loved him but her heart would heal faster if she moved on.  No use in dragging it out.

     “I see,” she said quietly.  “Then maybe saying good-bye now will be the best thing for me.”  She kissed him on the cheek, trying to hold back tears.  “Good-bye, Trevor.”  She was surprised she managed to say the words without breaking down.

     Trevor’s heart shattered into a million pieces.  It was either now or later.  So, he lost her any way he looked at it. 

     “Good-bye, Serenitee,” he whispered.
  He walked out the door and out of her life. 

     So, why didn’t he feel relieved?  He just felt like the jerk he always thought himself to be.

Chapter Eleven

     Serenitee fell back onto the couch, welcoming the tears now.  Her world had crumbled a little more.  She had lost her parents.  Now, she had lost Trevor.  What did it matter that he had eight more years left?  Why couldn’t they spend them together?  She didn’t really
have
to have kids.  She just wanted Trevor.  No, she
needed
him in her life.

     Yeah, he thought what he was doing was noble by letting her go.  To his reasoning, he was saving her.  From what?  Love?  Happiness? 
Eight years of bliss?

     She sat up and wiped the tears away.  This was the twenty-first century.  Surely, there were ways around this curse.  There had to be some kind of medication to fix it.  All she had to do was di
g even deeper into the werewolf curse.  The computer was a fount of information.  She just had to know where to look.

     She walked over and powered up her computer and made a pot of coffee.  She felt this was going to be a long night.  It would be worth it if she could help Trevor.

     Serenitee found a few promising things.  There was even a doctor who supposedly ‘specialized’ in lycanthropy.  She had to follow link after link to find this Dr. Shaw, a doctor that majored in Paranormal Psychology and Medicine with Lycanthropic Tendencies.  She read every word of his ‘Journals of Lycanthropic Medicine’ and wanted to believe a cure was possible. 

     It’s no wonder he was hard to find.  She didn’t think colleges would entertain too many doctors trying to get a degree in this area. 

     But, he could be contacted by email, mail, phone or fax.  She decided to email him first and follow that with a phone call.  She prayed it worked.  She wanted to help Trevor in any way possible. 

     Just as long as it didn’
t kill Trevor in the process.

     She clicked onto the email link and type
d a heartfelt plea for his help and added her phone number in case he wanted to call.  She didn’t think he would reject her.  This was his area of expertise, after all. 

     Now, all she needed was to wait for a reply.  But waiting for a couple of days without Trevor would seem like weeks. 

     The best thing for her to do right now was wait for the email reply, go to the library for more research and stop by Rue’s café.

     Trevor was a fool for letting her go. But what other choice did he have?  He should’ve never let any of it happen.  Why hadn’t he kept his distance from the start?  How could he have been so stupid as to think that this could actually work between them?  A human and a werewolf?  Who was he kidding?

     Serenitee was better off in the long run.  Without him cluttering up her life, she could find a man who would be there for
her much longer than he could.

     Still, the thought of another man touching her made his skin crawl.  The thought of her in another man’s bed
; her belly swollen with another man’s baby made his stomach clench.  He hadn’t wanted to give her up but she would thank him in the end when she didn’t have to witness his painful and certain death that awaited him in a few short years. 

     It was late when Trevor peeked out his front window.  Serenitee’s kitchen light was still burning late into the night.  He had no idea what she was doing at this hour. 

    
Probably looking for a new place to move
.  The thought left a bad taste in his mouth. 

     He couldn’t go to her, much as he ached to do so.  He reluctantly went to bed, sleep eluding
him for hours.  It was after three in the morning before sleep claimed him only to have his dreams haunt him.  Dreams of Serenitee laughing with another man.  They were cooing over their new baby girl.  A beautiful child with light brown hair, blue eyes and cherub cheeks.

     Trevor fisted his covers as Serenitee lifted up her face to kiss her husband.  When Serenitee moved her head, Trevor’s face had taken the place of the other man.

     Trevor sat up with a start.  He wiped the sweat from his brows.  He lay back down and closed his eyes.  He wished that dream could be true.  He would love to have that baby girl with Serenitee. 

     He was sure that is was just wishful thinking on his part.  It would never happen.

     Trevor tried to get back to sleep, the dream still fresh in his mind.

     Serenitee woke up the next morning eager to check her email, hoping that Dr. Shaw replied.

     She poured herself a glass of juice and turned on her computer.  After sifting through some junk emails, she found that Dr. Shaw had responded
a couple of hours ago.

     Her heart jumped as she opened the email and read it thoroughly. 

     According to Dr. Shaw, this werewolf curse wasn’t as rare as she thought.  He had already done several studies of this strain and found some promising results.  So far, the test subjects with this strain of lycanthropy had shown no signs of turning after being administered several doses of his medicine, a medicine that he didn’t go into too much detail describing.  Since few people studied lycanthropy and even fewer believed it existed, no other medical profession would fund his research.  The FDA refused to acknowledge it whatsoever.  The medical board turned their noses up at Dr. Shaw’s journals, deeming them ‘a childhood fantasy’ and ‘myths that didn’t deserve funding’.

     Dr. Shaw seemed promising about being able to help ‘her friend’.  She had seen no reason to give the doctor a name or address until she was sure he could be trusted with the information.

     Before anything further could be done, Dr. Shaw needed to speak with the person that suffered from this curse.  He would have to take blood samples and run some tests.

     Serenitee wondered if she could convince Trevor that this doctor could help him.  Would Trevor even entertain the thought that there might be a cure or was his mind already set that he was doomed?

     One way to find out.  She had to go and see Trevor.  He might not want to see her but he was going to whether he liked it or not.  This medicine might give them the chance to be together.  It was worth a shot.

     Serenitee gulped the rest of her juice, printed the information Dr. Shaw sent her before turning off the computer.  She went upstairs and put on a pair of jeans and
a T-shirt.  She pulled a brush through her hair and pulled her hair back into a ponytail.

     She walked out the door and, with determined steps, made her way to Trevor’s house.

     Trevor opened the door to the urgent knocking to see Serenitee
, papers in hand and smiling on the other side.  He wondered why she looked so happy.  He felt like hell.  With the little bit of sleep he got, he probably looked like it, too.

     “May I come in
?” 

     Trevor stepped aside.  “Sure.  Can I get you something to drink?”

     Serenitee sat down on the couch.  “Tea if you have it.”

     Trevor poured a couple of glasses of tea and sat next to Serenitee.  “Why have you come here?  I didn’t think you’d want to see me ever again.”

     Serenitee set down her glass.  She handed him the papers and kept silent as he read them.

     “What is this?  This can’t be true.”

     She knew he would deny it and she wouldn’t let him get away with thinking so negatively.  “From what Dr. Shaw has told me, it is definitely possible.”

    
He set the papers on the coffee table.  “The tests have worked so far from what I’ve read.  What are the side effects to something like this?”