Shadow Seed 1: The Misbegotten (61 page)

She grabbed it.  All of my thoughts scattered, like so many bats before the setting sun.  She squeezed as if to test its’ rigidity, a guttural vibration sounding in her throat.  “You are impossible, Estefan Ernando,” she said, gazing backup at me with what looked almost like tears in her eyes.  I found myself unable to focus.  My mind kept bouncing back and forth – I had to love her, I had to kiss her.  “I’m not even sure I want to resist anymore…,” she added as a wracking shudder ripped through her and she exhaled raggedly as if a gigantic, mysterious wind issued forth and she was cleansed by the action.  “I’m going to mess up on him… with you.”  Her shoulders stiffened with resolve.

“I want this,”
she said in my mind.  It made me smile for some reason.

Then someone knocked on the door to the bedroom – four firm, insistent knocks, followed by a stern, almost scolding as of tones.  “Leda, you are not being fair to him!  Release him right now and let us in or I will break this god damned door down!”

It was Ramona and she was angrier than I had ever seen her!

*****

Two things happened simultaneously.

Leda shot away from me like she had been struck by a bolt of lightning.

And suddenly, I could think again.

It all came crashing back into me like one massive tidal surge of thought and emotion and reasoning and comprehension - all wrapped into one.  It was smorgasbord of
me
– my intentions, my desires, even my recollections – everything, all at once, flooding back into me so fast, without any recourse or explanation; I was rendered helpless against it.  I could only stand there with my hard cock pointing out like some ridiculously veined flagpole, while Leda wrenched down her denim skirt, covering her privates and began a frantic search for her panties.

Then, she stopped and stared wide-eyed at me.  I was immobile with a man-sized hard-on ready to fire like a surface-to-air missile.  “Sonofabitch!” she gurgled through a constrained throat, making her way to me, viciously tugging my shorts and boxers over my man business.  She peered frantically into my eyes.  “I’m sorry, Eff, but I had to know.  I had to know what you were like without you beguiling me every second I’m around you.  I had to know, ok?  I’m sorry!”  She spoke with such
impetuosity, it was borderline violent.

I really couldn’t
begin to comprehend what she was saying as the rest of me refilled the vessel I knew as Estefan Ernando, and merely mumbled.  “It’s okay… I think…”

“Leda, open the door,” demanded my girlfriend, rattling the doorknob again and again from the opposite side of the portal.

Leda didn’t break eye contact with me.  “I
had
to know before I made my decision.  You understand, right?  I had to know…”

I could only shrug my shoulders and shake my head.

“But now, I know…  Now, I know.”

With that, she twisted at the waist, spotted her panties
and quickly scooped them up.  She folded them a couple of times, so they would fit into her palm without being seen.  She made her way to the door and unlocked it.

She had only taken a half-step back when Ramona bust through the doorway.  Her eyes were filled with steel, her brow stormy and rippling with
loathing.

Leda jumped out of the way of the door as it flew wide and banged against the wall, hard enough to gouge a rent through the paint and drywall.

“Fucking shit, Leda, what the
hell
were you thinking?!?” she raged as she came up upon the girl, her finger like a Lightsaber² about to pierce Leda’s chest.

Any other girl would’ve shrunk before Ramona’s righteous rage, intimidated by her size and penetrating stare.  Maybe Katie even, but not Leda.  She had known my girlfriend for years, since they were little girl’s, truth be told.  She had seen Ramona’s
displeasure more times than she cared to remember, directed at others and at her.  It didn’t matter whether or not she had done something wrong or morally uncouth.

It didn’t faze Leda.  Not in the least.  She stood her ground, once she had made it clear of the swinging door, and brazenly looked back at my girlfriend.  Her chin was stiff, defiant as she wiped at a stray lock of hair that had fallen between her eyes, her brows knitting.  “I did what
I
had to do, nothing more, and nothing less.”

Ramona’s scowl hardened in outrage.  “Are you telling me it was essential for you to cut him off from himself?”  This time her finger actually touched the other girl squarely between her boobs, not hard, but there was definitely a veiled threat behind the subtle movement.

“I had to know,” was all Leda said.

“Know what?” asked my cousin
.  That was when I realized it wasn’t just my girlfriend in the room with us.

All of the girls were present - Katie, Sandy, even Tirza!

I was on verge of becoming embarrassed, not quite certain I should’ve been, but I kept having this nagging urge I had been close to having sex with someone.  I kept wondering if I should let myself feel uncomfortable after all.  I mean, I was standing there with the remnants of a woody before the likes of five teenage females for crying out loud!

“I… I - ,” began Leda before she stopped, swallowed and then clenched her fists at either side and shook with frustration.  “His Mutation makes him so fucking irresistible, I had to know if I really felt something for him or if he was compelling me to feel that way.”  She paused, then; “I HAD TO KNOW, GOD DAMMIT!”  She screamed it, turning away from the rest of us, her
fists balled at either side, tapping one foot anxiously.

“And you figured if you completely isolated him from himself, you find some sort of answer to this question?!?”  It was Ramona again, looming over Leda like a sentinel.  I was sure if they hadn’t been friends for so long, my girlfriend would’ve hit the other teen with her fists.  She looked crazy-mad.

Leda half turned to look up at her, returning Ramona’s accusatory glare.  “How the fuck else was I going to find out.”

“By mentally raping my cousin?” demanded Katie stalking up to Leda, shoulder-to-shoulder with Ramona.  “That seemed like the right thing for you to do? 
Are you fucking kidding me
?”

“Wait, what?!?”
Sandy screeched from the doorway, stepping completely through the threshold of the bedroom.

Tirza trailed behind her, though she walked like she was stepping over hot coals.

Mentally raping?
  The question had just across my mind as I finally regained my faculties to extent that I remembered how to use them.  I felt my mind sharpen along the edge of those words, hidden anger emerging. 
Was it true?  Had she used her Mutation to gain control of my mind?  Had she forced me into wanting her…?
  Yet, it didn’t quite ring true, even as I thought about it.  I tried to make myself mad at her over the issue.  But, that’s not what had happened.  Something else, she had done something else.

“I didn’t…”  Leda’s defiance cru
mbled, her orbs widening.  She had just realized the extent of the damage she could’ve caused.  She gave me a haunted stare, her mouth working, but the words didn’t match the movement of her lips.  “I didn’t… Eff, that’s not what I -.  Oh my god, please don’t think -.”  A hand wiped at her forehead.  “Estefan, I am so sorry!”  There was nothing, but anguish in her face.

I was about to answer, but Ramona interrupted me.

“Estefan why don’t you go help Tirza get settled,” she said through clenched teeth, her eyes slid to me, cutting metal.  “Your sister found a bunch of clothes that fit and she needs a place to put them, so your parents won’t complain about a mess up in the Loft.  Okay?”  Her expression softened.  “Go and help Tirza.  We girls need to lay some ground rules here.  It won’t be good for you to be around…  You understand, right?”

I nodded slowly.  “Don’t hurt her, Mona,” was all I felt needed to be said.  I spun on my heel and walked out of the room, motioning for Tirza to follow me.

She did so without question.  Her eyes were about as wide as Leda’s had been a moment before.

{ ¹“Jim-hat”: late 20
th
century slang, referencing a contraceptive device, called a condom; a thin sheath of Latex, Polyurethane or Polyisoprene worn over the penis during intercourse. }

{ ²Lightsaber: a fictional
weapon
made popular in the
Star Wars
universe
; also
, a "
laser
sword
,"
consisting of a polished
metal
hilt
,
projecting a brightly lit
blade
about 4 feet or 1.33 meters long
.  It is the signature weapon of a Jedi Knight or a Sith Lord. }

~~~~~~~~~~~~♦~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Summer – 2018)

An Unexpected Reconciliation

She closed the last drawer with a degree of finality now that the task before us was done.  She peered over her shoulder at me, a smile like those she used to give me when were an item.  It graced the lower portion of her visage with a false brilliance I could almost see.  It was a happy one, the type I had yet to see, since she had burst into the Loft, her family murdered in cold blood, running for her life.

An hour had passed, since she’d asked me, “What did she do to you?”   We had reached the stairwell leading up to the Loft.

I turned at the waist
, but continued up the stairs.  “Can’t really say, actually,” I had shrugged the words out of me.  “It was like being distracted, but more thorough, like she took all thought away from me and made me think only of her.”

Tirza had tsked.  “So she could find out if she liked you or not?”

“I guess.”

“Sounds a little dramatic to me,” she added as we attained the landing before the door leading into the Loft.  It stood at our left, the Attic was at our right, an identical door barring the way.

I had opened the door and let her in.  She passed me, twisting her shoulders as she did so, not wanting to touch me for some reason.  Tirza was like that.  When she didn’t want physical contact with someone, she barred
all
physical contact.

“Well, it wasn’t as bad as they were making it out to be downstairs,” I said
, wanting to clarify the situation for her for some reason.

Tirza had spun on the ball of one foot, her sock twisting underneath.  “Oh I bet, who wouldn’t want the chance fuck Leda Quintanilla…”  Then had she spun back around and made her way to Katie’s bed where her and my step-sister had piled a bunch of clothes from Flavia’s castoffs.

“That’s not what I meant, Teezee.”

“Whatever.”  She tried to appear as though she didn’t care.  I could see it, hidden, behind her bland expression.  She cared.  It bothered her.  I
’d begun to wonder why.

Now, later, a very different Tirza stared back at me as she stood, rubbing her hands – a gesture one would’ve seen a million times upon completion of a task.

“Do you like the dresser?” I asked lamely, not sure what to say, not wanting to ruin her mood.

The tiny teenager glanced back at it.  “It’s nice.”

It had been the in Attic, the one across from the Loft, and not the one where we had planned to stash the girls should my parents come up unannounced to our private sanctum.  Technically, the Loft was part of the Attic as well, but it had been built out within its’ roomiest portions, so now it bisected the Attic, cutting it in two; thus, the need to differentiate the two sections when describing them.

We had both stood before Katie’s bed gazing down at the large pile of clothing, and I knew there wouldn’t be room in the chest-of-drawers my mother had provided for Katie.  I
’d stood there mulling over what to do for a few minutes.  Then, I remembered the old dresser my mom had pulled out of Lucia’s bedroom after her and my step-father had purchased new furniture for her.  She had me and Johan lug it up to the Attic, because she had decided to keep it to store old linens and tablecloths in it.  According to my practical mother, it “still had some years of use in it”.  At least, that’s what she had said.

Nonetheless, it wasn’t what she
’d
done
.  She had promptly forgotten about it, so now, six months later, it stood against the far corner of the Attic, facing the door, empty and unused.

Tirza and I pushed and pulled it into the Loft, across the huge room and had placed next to Katie’s.  That had taken some time, but we had time on our hands, so we made a project of it, and now…

…We were done.  Tirza not only had a wardrobe, but a decent place to store it.

I grinned unsteadily at the girl before me, hooked my thumbs in my waistband, my mind involuntarily recalling I had done something similar to Leda’s panties
.  I yanked my hands upward, inadvertently clapping my palms together.  The sound was too loud for the confines of the Loft.

Tirza’s quizzical cast told me she hadn’t missed my discomfort.

I didn’t want to think about Leda at the moment, even though my cock spasmed in my shorts. 
Her pale skin was so beautiful underneath the dark hue of my hands, so pliant and yet strong…  Her pussy had been so wet…
  I teetered from one foot to the other, like an electrocuted puppet.  “So… uh, now what?” I wondered, trying to clear my thoughts of the dark-haired beauty I had come so close to screwing.

Tirza was noncommittal.  “I don’t know, I guess we just wait for the girls to finish pissing in the sand.”

I laughed, thinking of the girls squatting down to mark their territory, then the thought matured and I saw myself in the middle of the “who would get what” bullshit. 
I don’t like golden showers, people!  I’ve never been into that shit.
  They had better figure something out, because frankly, I didn’t want to have to deal with stupid backbiting and territorialism.  This wasn’t the time for crap of that magnitude.  It could get us all killed.

Tirza must’ve noticed a change in my face, because her next question seemed to piggy-back on my thoughts.

“How does it make you feel, Estefan, knowing
all
those girls want to be with you, knowing they are willing to share you between them?  Must make you feel like some sort of Superman, huh?”

I grimaced, my lips down-turning.  “Naw, girl, I’m not made that way, you know that, Tirza,” I replied.  “I mean, I’m not going to lie, okay?  I like girls, I really like them.  I like being around them, talking with them,
being
with them.  You know that as well, I guess.

“But, this shit is different, this Mutation thing has tipped the scales in a way I didn’t think they could be tipped.”  I stared at her, imploring as she sat on Katie’s seldom used bed.  “I’m used to chasing after you guys, you know?  I’m used to the pursuit and the capture thing, and reaping the rewards of getting a girl to like me, to want to be with me.  This shit is nothing like that.”

She tapped the bed with the palm of her hand.  It was an old signal between us.  She wanted me to sit and talk with her.

I capitulated without thinking.

“I’m not sure how to deal with things when I girl just comes up to me and begs to be screwed.  Because I always worked so hard at it in the past, it unnerves me.  It scares me, the more I think about it.”  I peered through a wrinkled brow.  “I don’t like the possibilities, Teezee, I think that’s what scares me the most…”

She was
looked grim, sitting with one leg tucked beneath her, her hands folded in her lap.  Her eyes glossed over like someone delving through the layers of the past, lost in memory, trying to reconcile an unforgiving present.

I allowed the silence to grow, hoping she wouldn’t continue to think I was a douche.  This was much more than me muttering Katie’s name, while her and I were making love.  Things were much more complicated now, dangerous.  There were four girls downstairs, hashing through the “do’s” and “don’ts” of their mutual interactions with me.  They were discussing how they were going to share me, how they
were going to divide up my time, how they were each going to allow the others to bed me!  All of it was to be civilized, calmly considered.  I was the motherfucken Christmas ham for fuck’s sake. 
Come and get it!

“And there will be more…”
  That’s what Ramona had said.  There would be more.

No there won’t
!

Well…

“The fact that it scares you is a good thing, Effy,” Tirza finally spoke.  Apparently, she’d weighed the situation in her head and had come to some sort of conclusion.

I bobbed my head in assent, thankful, at least, for a moderate response and not one of condemnation.

“But, if you had an ability, like Leda’s, to force someone to not think, would you have used it to say… save my family?”  Moisture clouded the brown of her irises, making them lighter.

“Yes.”  There was no need to say more.

She cleared her throat.  “If it had been a gun bearing, gang of women, bursting into my house that night, what would you have done?  You’d have used your Mutation and made them lust after you in order to save my family, am I right?”

I could see where she was going with this.  “Yeah, I would’ve.”

“Do you think you could make yourself use it against a girl just so you could bang her?”

“I don’t think so,” I answered, questioning the darker side of me.  Could I do that?  If I wanted someone real bad, could I force her to fuck me?  Was I that sort of person?  Could I live with myself afterward?  Could I rape?  Was it rape?

“What if she made you mad?  What if she hurt you in some way?  Could you do it then?”  She edged closer, but it was more out of emphasizing her point than anything else.

I went on pondering what she
’d proposed.  “I guess, it would have to know the severity offense, right?  I mean what had she done to hurt me?  Did she hurt one of my siblings or had she merely insulted me?  My reaction to either would be very, very different.”

Tirza’s face brightened as if I had hit some proverbial nail on the head.  “It’s like owning a gun, huh?”

My face clouded, perplexed.

“You have to respect a gun enough to know when to use and when not to, correct?”

Some of the clouds in my head cleared.

“Pull out a gun at the wrong time could cause an escalation that could eventually lead to fatal consequences…,” she trailed off as she sat back, more centered down her spine.  “Sex is your weapon now, Estefan.”  She shivered.  “I can’t believe I just said
something like that, no different than making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!”

I chuckled, but she had me thinking and my mirth evaporated.

“But, it’s true,” she added.  Her voice was quieter, giving my face a once-over.  “You’ll have to treat your Mutation like a weapon, possibly even a weapon of mass destruction, because, from what the girls told me, you’re pretty strong.”  She plucked at something invisible on her skirt.  “I mean look at what Leda did, just so she could know if her own feelings were real.  You have to be pretty darn powerful to push her to do such an outrageous thing to you.”

“So will you,” I reminded her.

Her face bunched prettily.

“A tracker,” I began, “at least that’s what Mona said you’d be.”

“I know, but a tracker of what?”

My lips twisted wryly.  “Of everything, if I remember correctly.”

Tirza leaned back on a hand, her elbow locked.  “What’s
that
supposed to mean?”

“I have no idea, but it sounds ominous all the same.”  I snickered, playing with the end of a thread, twirling it
around my forefinger.

“I can’t even begin to understand what she meant by ‘tracker’.  I don’t feel anything different inside me, even after I got sick,” she spoke with a drop of sorrow in her tone.  I knew she was remembering her life before her Mutation began to manifest, before her family was massacred.

“It’ll come, Teezee, whether you want it to or not, it will.”  After all, mine had, and I almost drove Katie insane with lust because of it.

She grunted with dis
contentment.  “I hate the inevitability of all this shit.  It’s like we have no choice.  It’s like, ‘here you go, bitch, your life had no changed forever’,” she said, her voice dropping an octave, mimicking somebody without much of an intellect.  “I
hate
it!”

“Yeah, things were a lot easier a few weeks ago,” I agreed, rubbing at my neck.  It was getting stiff from sitting half on and half off the bed.  I cracked it and lay down on the bed to ease the pressure on my spine.

“I don’t know if ‘
easier’
is the right word, Estefan,” she retorted, her words measured as she were holding back a floodwater of emotion.  It made her sound raw, like something critical being torn asunder.

Instantly, I felt stupid for saying something as dense and uncaring as I had, my choice of words was an affront to the word
, understatement.  What the fuck was wrong with me?!?  She had lost her entire family over the course of days.  These were the same days that had gone from being easy to a nuisance for me.  What was I thinking?  Her parents, her sister – all of them, gone, and I could say in summation of such a monumentous loss was it wasn’t easy anymore!  Sonofabitch, I had never felt like such a complete idiot than I had that afternoon.

“Tirza, I’m so sorry,” was my inadequate attempt at reconciliation.

She pinched the bridge of her nose as tears fell onto her lap.

I didn’t know what to do.  I wasn’t sure if she wanted
me to touch her or not.  She could turn downright berserk if she didn’t want to be touched.  I just sat there, repeating myself, saying I was sorry for being obtuse, sorry for what had happened to her, promising I would never leave her side, vowing to be the best friend she could ever have.