Shadowed (3 page)

Jay and Titus huddled close together talking logistics with Micah. As evident on
the beach, Jay claimed the title of “team prankster.” Built like a quarterback, he
never backed down from a fight and usually could be found at the center of the problem.
Jay rarely wore anything other than a cocky smile, but behind his deep
blue eyes
lay a pain and rage none of them dared touch. He was the comms guy of the team, handling
communication with headquarters and carrying the big radio. It took him no time
to assess a situation and communicate it clearly. Little rattled him under fire.

The team knew Titus as Jay's better, blacker half. Rarely could they find one without
the other. A native Texan, Titus claimed his dreams of becoming a SEAL saved him
from the heartache of the gangs. A brilliant mind and talented linguist, Titus blended
well in Muslim territory as he spoke Arabic, Farsi, and pieces of local tribal dialects.
If he heard it once, he could repeat it. His dark skin bought him friends his white
teammates might otherwise deter.

Merging from two different teams, these men accepted the call of Support Activity
1 and ran into danger whenever the situation deemed necessary. They truly defined
SEALs, and Nick felt energized and strong in their presence. They would enter together
and leave together. No questions. No option. Justice was imperative. Janus continued
to claim American lives. Even one was too many.

Kaylan opened her front door floating on a cloud. He loved her. Nick loved her. She
leaned against her door and touched her lips. She'd known it all along, just didn't
want to believe it. But she'd felt it in every kiss, every smile, and every encouraging
word over the past nine months.

But she knew what loving led to—pain and heartache. Tomorrow didn't come with guarantees.
Regardless of her hesitation, her heart galloped like her mare back at home when
given free rein.

A head popped up over the top of the couch, and Kaylan squealed, throwing a hand
over her mouth to stifle the sound. “Oh, my gosh. Megan! Geez, next time tell me
you're there.”

Kaylan's roommate rolled her brown eyes beneath thick, long
lashes. “Please. I can
read your mind from over here. Stop blushing and thinking about soldier boy, or I'm
going to puke.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kaylan rolled with her roommate's attitude. She found an odd comfort
in Megan's strength of will, even if it tended to repel others. At least they were
building somewhat of a friendship in the month they had lived together. Kaylan met
Megan through a college friend who'd moved out to California. Megan was three years
older than Kaylan's twenty-three years and in need of a roommate. While emotionally
distant and the textbook definition of sarcastic, Megan had a hidden charm that
Kaylan felt determined to bring forth.

Megan had inherited a house from a rich grandmother. Situated on the outskirts of
San Diego, near Coronado, it was the perfect distance from the SEALs and the beach.
It wasn't extravagant by any means, but with the prices of California real estate,
Kaylan was perfectly content with the small space in a good neighborhood. Kaylan
paid rent to cover the taxes and utilities, but other than that, the house was paid
for.

“You're so tough.” She ruffled Megan's nearly black hair as she plopped down on the
couch. “Just wait. Someday a nerdy activist will come along and sweep you off your
feet. Then you'll get all mushy and emotional and, heaven forbid, have to talk about
feelings. And I'll be here. Waiting to tell you ‘I told you so' and full of all
these great dating tips I've picked up in all my extensive experience.” Kaylan sighed
and placed her hand on her heart.

Megan snorted. “You live such a charmed life. My guy won't want to talk about feelings.
They make you weak.”

Her words stung. While Megan knew about Kaylan's home and family and relationship
with Nick, she didn't know about Sarah Beth or the earthquake.
Charmed
fell far from
Kaylan's radar.
Haunted
might be more appropriate.

“So did you actually watch the fireworks, or did you make them?” Megan broke into
her silent reverie.

“Megan.”

“C'mon, Kayles. You gotta let loose every once in a while. Just go with what feels
good. You're such a prude. You're gonna get married anyway. Why does it matter?”

Kaylan shook her head and laughed softly, used to Megan's criticism of her morals.
She struggled with her negativity but knew it covered a deeper issue. Maybe one of
these days Megan would trust Kaylan with that secret.

“You know why, Megan. These guys you bring home sometimes . . . do you ever feel
good when they leave in the morning?”

She shrugged and her grin turned wicked. A challenge. “Sure. Stress gone, happy,
content. No strings attached.”

Kaylan nodded. “What about a few days later?”

Megan's grin drooped a bit, but she didn't back down. “What about it?”

“I've watched you check your phone, waiting for a call. I've heard you cry at night
when you think I'm asleep.” Kaylan leaned forward and touched Megan's knee. “Megan,
from the beginning this kind of a relationship was designed for marriage. One man,
one woman for life. Nick and I want to wait and experience that after we make a permanent
commitment before God and our families.” Maybe Nick could talk to her. He had a past
much like Megan's.

Megan's eyes frosted in the warm air. “You want to get real, Kaylan? Why do you scream
in your sleep? Why do you shout people's names?” She leaned into Kaylan's face, her
walls blocking any entry, guns loaded and aimed. “I think your faith is your shield
and you're just scared.” In one quick movement she rose from the couch, walked down
the hall, and slammed her bedroom door.

Kaylan sighed. “Epic fail, Kaylan,” she mumbled to herself. She couldn't talk about
her nightmares with Megan. It meant talking about the earthquake and her memories.
Maybe Megan was right. Maybe she was scared.

She hugged the turquoise throw pillow as her eyes wandered
the dark room taking in
pictures of Haiti, her and Nick, her family, and a couple photos of Megan and the
dolphins at the wildlife conservatory where she worked. Books lined a shelf in the
corner of the room in perfect proximity to the overstuffed khaki couches in the middle
of the living room. Pink roses sat on the bar, the gateway to the kitchen in their
open-floor plan. The smell of the sea hung in the air, reminding Kaylan of the waves
kissing her legs as she and Nick stood in the surf.

He loved her, but he was leaving. The reality stung even as her heart raced. She
didn't know how to feel. Megan had one thing right: Kaylan was scared. No doubt about
it.

“Lord, give me time with him before he leaves, please. Even a little will help. And
please help me figure this out.” She tossed the pillow on the chair and rose to get
ready for bed, her overflowing heart battling her scattered mind.

Chapter 3

N
ICK'S FEET POUNDED
the wet sand in the dark, wee hours of Sunday morning. He'd
slept for two hours after helping his team prep to leave within the next thirty-six
hours. He could sleep on the plane, but he couldn't sacrifice time with Kaylan.
He wouldn't. Not now. Not when he might need to reassure her. Not when every fiber
of his being wanted to be by her side.

She'd softened again over the course of the summer, her healing compounded after
visiting Haiti again. She'd gained her weight back and then a little more, but he
loved her gentle curves and the fullness of her face when she smiled. He loved every
freckle on her nose and the crinkles in the corner of her eyes when her musical laugh
graced the air around them. He loved that she loved with her whole heart, and he
loved that she respected herself enough to be sure before she shared her heart with
him. She may not understand her feelings, but her eyes lit up in his presence, as
if he alone made her world spin. He couldn't believe how much he loved her. He would
lay down his life in an instant to make her happy.

Kaylan's internship in San Diego kept her busy, but they still managed to see each
other a couple times a week. Every certified dietetic internship required participants
to complete rotations for
clinical, community, and management nutrition. Over the
coming months she would rotate between hospitals and a couple of nonprofits, but
she was gunning for a position that aided disaster relief because of her experience
in Haiti. Despite her busy schedule, she still struggled to find a balance between
living and grieving. Unfortunately the two were synonymous, but she'd learn how to
cope and build new memories. She didn't talk about Sarah Beth much, but he'd catch
her with tears in her beautiful green eyes every now and then.

They planned to go back to Alabama as often as possible. Pap remained strong, despite
his previous mini strokes. Kaylan talked to him every Sunday afternoon, and Nick
loved the old man's wisdom. Her other brothers, Seth and David, remained in Alabama,
David advancing in his career as an accountant and dating Melody, and Seth playing
football for the University of Alabama. Nick knew Micah and Kaylan missed their family.
He wished he could shorten the distance for them. But it was the price they paid
for being in the military.

He checked his watch. Zero five hundred. He'd have to hustle to watch the sunrise
with Kaylan before she went to work. He sprinted the last quarter mile to his Jeep,
pulled the key off the tire, and turned the nose toward her house about fifteen minutes
away. He knew he'd find her on her front porch in the rocking chair, writing in her
journal and reading her Bible, her hair wet from a shower.

Tedashii's “Make War” song blared over the speakers as Nick drummed his fingers on
the steering wheel. The lyrics reminded him of how much he'd distanced himself from
his past—a college playboy and party jock, the guy who knew how to have a good time
and didn't care who he hurt along the way. But man, Jesus was good. The day it finally
clicked had been Nick's sunrise moment, and he refused to go backward.

The wind cooled the sweat on his brow as he drove. He ran a
hand over his face, feeling
the stubble and knowing it would be a while before he picked up a razor. Kaylan liked
a little scruff, and he enjoyed not worrying about shaving when on a mission. He
guessed it was the California hippie in him.

He exited the highway and turned onto her street. There she sat, third door on the
left, her porch screened in, but open to sight. The stone and stucco house was a
far cry from the rustic lake house her parents owned in Alabama, but she and Megan
made it home.

Her auburn hair had grown longer, and he loved the loose waves. He chuckled at her
awful posture as she bent over her Bible, her leg tucked under her on the chair.
“Hey, hey, beautiful.”

Her smile melted his heart. Man, he loved this woman. She opened the door and flew
into his arms. “You smell sweaty.” Her laughter joined his as she leaned back to
look into his eyes.

He swooped in for a kiss as the sky turned a deep turquoise in the blooming light.
When he pulled back, they were both breathless.

“You sure know how to start a girl's day.”

“Only yours, Kayles.”

“You mean you don't have a date to watch the sunset with some chick tonight?” Her
mischievous smile lit her emerald green eyes. “That sure is good to know. I don't
share well.”

“Brat.” He poked her ribs, and she jerked away, giggling.

“Don't be mean, or you can't have your coffee.”

He stalked her and backed her into the railing, his fingers striking all the right
places on her ribs.

She squealed. “I give. You win!” She jerked away from him and opened the door to
the house. “I'll get your coffee.”

“Oh, no, you won't. You'll spit in it or something.”

“Me?” She threw a hand to heart, but he knew better than to trust that innocent look.
Her brothers had trained her well. She
did not back down from a challenge, and she
knew how to give payback.

“I'll get my own coffee, thank you very much.” He kissed the freckles on her nose
as he squeezed past her in the doorway, careful not to wake Megan as he grabbed a
mug and poured his coffee.

Nick took a sip, enjoying the steaming, black brew. Pure adrenaline would keep him
going until he left. Time with Kaylan was too short and too precious. He glanced
at the waterproof watch on his wrist as he slipped back onto the porch. He would
need to leave within the hour. A lot of plans still had to be made.

Kaylan patted the spot next to her on the loveseat, and Nick sank down next to her,
immediately tugging her tight to his chest. Light spilled over the houses across
the street to the east. The sunsets definitely trumped sunrises in California, but
Kaylan insisted on her morning routine.