Shadowglass (28 page)

He paused, his breath short and tight. “Don’t close your eyes. Look at me. Watch me feel you.”

My sex protested with a sharp twitch, longing for more, and I could only obey. I opened my eyes.

His gaze stabbed mine, alight with violet desire for me. My throat dried. His eyes were so sexy, so intense and focused, like I was the only thing in the world that mattered. Desire flashed in my belly. He thrust in me again, slamming my pleasure in hot and hard, and every last sizzle of sensation reflected in his flaming eyes. I’d set this icy iron prince on fire at last, and he burned for me.

Tears pressed hard in my throat as my body responded, flexing against him, drawing him on, showing him what I liked. My heart shuddered with emotion I didn’t want as he adjusted his position, found my most sensitive spot and tortured it, the head of his cock rubbing over me again and again until my muscles wept with pleasure. And still he stared at me, hungry, drinking in my excitement, and somehow I couldn’t tear my gaze away.

Tension threatened inside me before I was ready. God, this was too much. I felt too much. I couldn’t pretend this wasn’t happening, that it was just some random orgasm with a guy I’d picked up somewhere and couldn’t care less if I saw again. I wanted to come with his taste on my lips. I wanted him to come with my muscles wrapped around his cock, come deep inside me so I felt every spasm.

“Show me.” His breath burned my lips, so close, I could taste him, but he didn’t break our gaze. He knew what I thought, how I felt, what turned me on. He knew everything. My sex tightened, impossibly tight, so tense that he groaned, fluttering to nudge my hips up to force ever deeper, pushing searing delight into my spine. “Let me have it all. I need you, Ice. Show me.”

I bit my lip at unbearable pressure, and with a burning splash the wave broke. Slammed me down. Drowned me in delicious metal flesh. Wash slammed outward from where we met, frothing through my guts, my limbs, dragging hot tingles over my skin. My clit throbbed. My muscles rippled, squeezing him hard. My head swam, my senses inundated. Even better than the last one. Harder, fuller, deeper. And it wasn’t finished yet. My pleasure swirled like a whirlpool, sucking back inside me, and now he shuddered and pressed me into the iron roof and gazed deep into my eyes and showed me his own orgasm, his hot flood fresh and stinging inside me, his breath ironsweet and fast and his eyes darkening to the clear blue color of his name.

As he came, he mashed his lips onto mine in a searing, possessive kiss that made me come all over again, and finally I closed my eyes and surrendered to him, our bodies pulsing together, our tongues mingling like the fluids that burned and mixed inside me.

We kissed, and kissed, lips swollen and breath tight and muscles aching but not wanting to let go. I never wanted to let go. This feeling, so safe and warm and protected, so connected, with his flesh deep inside mine and his smell all over me and the rain sticking our skin together. He was everything I dreamed. Everything I ever wanted. A man who knew my soul.

Suddenly, I felt him smile, like he knew what I was thinking. And then he wrapped tender hands in my hair and kissed me more, sighing into me like we’d only just begun.

At last our lips parted, reluctant, and he sighed, flitting up a few inches to ease his weight but not relinquishing his penetration of me yet. The rain eased to a trickle, thunder receding. Sodden strands stuck to his face, and he caressed my cheek with his to scrape them off. “Lady Ice, that was . . .” He shook his head, lost. “I dunno what to say.”

“How about . . . kinda nice? Yeah. Totally unexpected? Definitely. A mistake? Absolutely. We don’t have to do it again if y—”

“Astounding?” He shushed me with a kiss. “Mmm. No, hang on. Unprecedented? Nope, not quite it. Incredible. Yeah. That’s the one.” Still out of breath, he dipped more kisses onto my mouth, like he couldn’t stop. “You. Are. Incredible. So. Shut. Up. And. Kiss. Me.”

I goggled, and obeyed. His lips caressed mine, his tongue now gentle and soulful in my mouth, and my heart teetered one final time and shattered. I was done defending. It was over. He won.

He unsnicked his claws from the iron and gently helped me tug my saturated clothes back into place. A protesting murmur escaped me as he slid out, and I flushed all over again, but I didn’t really care. My skin already shone blue from our loving. Let him see how I felt about him. Too late for lies.

He fluttered upward, rearranging his clothes, and lighted beside me on his butt, his silvery wings tucked back. I planted my hands on the roof iron, my fingerpads sticking, and pushed myself up to sitting. I retied my halter and arched my back, stretching my wings behind me to look up at the mist-covered moon. Over muted traffic and the city’s nightelectric hum, distant thunder still rumbled, and the sky scudded with fading storm clouds. The smell of rain and wet pavement leached from the ground, misting the air with fresh humidity that tingled my flushed skin.

I wriggled my hips to reseat the popped joints. My aching thighs stuck together with our fluid, but I didn’t mind. We hadn’t used anything. I could be spawning. I didn’t really mind that either.

He didn’t say anything, just inhaled deeply and stared at the stars. I inched to the roof’s edge and dangled my legs over, peering down at moonlight reflecting on puddles. Normally, I’d be afraid of heights. Tonight, I wasn’t afraid of anything. Except . . .

I glanced sidelong at him, and awkwardness crept in like evil green dust under a door. I wanted to touch him, take his hand, lay my head on those wet denim thighs. Was I allowed? Were we . . . something?

Tentatively, I brushed my head on his shoulder. He just kissed the top of my head and shifted with a wince to dig that iron sphere out of his back pocket.

I snuggled closer and grinned, though he couldn’t see me. “So. Not a mistake, huh.”

“Nope.” He pirouetted the mirror from hand to graceful hand, deft like the clever thief he is, titanium glinting green and purple on his wrist.

Could I accept his gift, after this? Take the cure and leave him, when his life was in danger? Take it and stay, even?

I swallowed. “You sure?”

He tugged my knees over his lap, trailing my wings on the steel. He locked his arm around my waist and rolled the mirror idly over my belly. “Yeah. I know mistakes pretty good. Wanna see one?”

His thighs felt warm and sticky under my butt, his chest sleek against my shoulder. I giggled, warm and content in his arms. “Sure. Just keep it clean, okay?”

He stretched out his hand. The mirror rolled, snickering in his palm. He curled long blue fingers around it, copper claws clicking. And then he tossed the mirror up, and let his hand float away.

The mirror flowered, sharp petals scything, and fell screeching over the edge.

My heart thudded. I jerked forward, breaking his embrace, but too late.

Three floors below, glass crunched.

Splat.

My vertigo abruptly returned, churning my stomach. I scrambled back from the edge on my palms, cold moisture springing on my skin. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out.

He grinned at me, and too late my gaze flashed again to his wrist. His right wrist was now wrapped in rainbow titanium, where moments ago, when we loved, it was bare.

Mirrorswitch. Right before my loveblind eyes.

Indigo—or whoever this was—widened coppery lashes, a wicked golden glint in his eye. “Oops.”

23

I
scuttered back like a crab, my limbs shaking. “Wh—what did you do?”

Moonlight shone on his face, illuminating a strange silver smile. Back to front. Not quite right. Eerie blue light glimmered in his molten eyes. “It’s gone, Ice. Now we can be real.”

He reached for me, but I tugged my hand away, sickness thrashing in my belly. “What?”

He lighted up into a sly crouch, his wings flaring behind him, fingers spread on the wet iron for balance. “Now we can be real together. No hiding. No pretense. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

My face hurt, like I’d smiled too much. I couldn’t pull it straight. My throat ached, and ugly tears skewered my eyes. “But . . . But I needed that. For Kane. You said so. You said I could!” Like a child, I knew. But my mind wouldn’t work. My body wouldn’t respond. My flesh still ached from our loving, and I’d already lost him.

“
He
said that, not me. Always trying to
cure
you.” He spat the word like poison, his eyes flashing scarlet. “I’ll never want that for you, Ice. I want you just the way you are.”

Disbelief chewed my nerves, and anger spilled like boiling blue ink though my blood. What the hell did he mean? I scrabbled to my feet, dizzy and awkward on the slanting roof, and stabbed a shaky claw down toward my lost mirror. “B—but you just broke my cure! You just killed yourself! Is that meant to be funny? Like, push-me-off-a-skyscraper funny? Your sense of humor really sucks, you know that?”

He unfolded to his full height, rust crackling on his wings like stardust. Puzzlement darkened his eyes. “I thought you wanted it that way. I thought you meant it when you said you loved me.”

A horrid laugh clawed at my throat. “Let’s not even go there, okay?” Hysteria screeched in my voice, and I clamped my teeth together so I wouldn’t sob or scream. But anguish ripped my newly softened heart apart. The worst thing that could have happened. He’s dead. I’m mad. What the fuck was he thinking?

He waved static-raveled hands. “Mirror, cure, what the fuck ever.
He
looked into the mirror, Ice, and he got me. Not a disease. Me. You don’t need a cure. You need a fix.”

My bones frosted to icy shards. It was himself he was talking about. His other self, the right-handed one with the broken heart. My heart hammered in denial. “Christ, Indigo, wh—?”

“Stop calling me that.” Fury tightened his mouth, shining scarlet in his eyes, and brown rust flecks cracked from his quivering wet wings. “It’s Ebony, okay? Maybe he was doing the talking, but I was there, too. We just made love, and it was pretty fucking mind-blowing if you want my opinion, so the least you can do is get my name right.”

Silence, and a dark chill over my heart. I stammered, terrified I understood. “You’re not making sense. It’s impossible.”

“There’s no impossible. Don’t tell me you haven’t figured it out. Ebony, Indigo, one half, other half, skanky mirror whispering glitter in my head.” He tugged fiercely at his hair, dragging it into black peaks, and his words spilled faster. “It split us, after she died. He didn’t know. I help him while he’s asleep, I itch and I scratch and he feels better. And now he’s peeked in the glass again and he sees me, Ice, he wants me dead and he wants you dead and boring and cured and if you’re cured you won’t love me anymore and I need you, Ice, I can’t do this on my own, I hate it but I itch and I burn and I can’t stop until they’re dead!” He clenched quivering fists in his hair, muscles bunching like he wanted to rip it out, and only with an effort did he relax.

My stomach rippled, sick. Indigo had tried to tell me, but I hadn’t listened. I remembered him on the skyscraper rooftop, his claws sharp and eager on my throat. The way he kissed me, his fingers caressing the top of my spine, squeezing, testing the bones, creeping away sheepish. He could’ve hurt me if he’d wanted to. Could’ve killed me.

I swallowed.
Courage, Ice. Deal.
“Who’s dead, Ebony?”

“Didn’t tell you that part, did he? God, it’s like a dungeon, living with him. He’s so cold and bitter and . . . and closed off that he can’t connect with anyone, and all I can ever feel is pain and isolation and death. Until you came along. Ice, please, you have to—”

A scream welled in my larynx, and I bit it back. “Who’s dead, Ebony? Tell me!”

He rippled long fingers across his teeth, crafty, and a sweet little smile passed across silvery lips. “Nasty white girl. Bloodsucker boy with blue eyes. Tasty red spriggan.”

Horror spiked my throat. I didn’t know any white girl, god help her. But Quang? I’d fingered Akash for that. And my dirty vampire admirer, just doing what vampires do. Not his fault. Mine.

I sucked in a breath.
Calm. Placate the psycho you just made love to. He could be making it up. Just stalking you or something.
“Okay. Why, Ebony? How?”

He mimed a quick blow to the chin with the heel of his hand and a slicing motion with his claw, neck height. “Snap, slice, bleed. They hurt you, Ice. I couldn’t bear it. And I itch. We itch. I can’t help it—”

“Yes, you can!” Rage and sorrow spilled over my skin like hot ashes, burning me. My muscles clenched, my wings twitching to fly away forever. My denial was futile. I didn’t doubt him for an instant. I’d felt the strength in those metal fingers. Felt his sweet claw on my vein, his mouth on my pulse. “You killed them for me? That’s fucking insane. Okay? You’re insane!”

Suddenly he was close to me, his dark scent assaulting my senses with heady memory.

But fear hit me harder. I stumbled back, and my foot slipped down wet iron and crumpled the thin metal gutter. My heart crammed into my throat. My arms waved, grasping for balance. I teetered, and Ebony caught my waist in a warm metal embrace.

I struggled, but he bent to my ear and whispered, and his voice held all the emotion and anguish and awe I’d loved. “Insane? Yeah. But so are you, Lady Ice, and it’s wonderful.”

His touch sent an unwelcome throb between my legs. Hot water flushed me. I wanted our skin bare again, my breasts warm on his chest, his hot hard flesh moving inside me. I wanted to claw his pretty metal eyes out.

“No!” I pushed him away and stumbled forward to catch myself. My palms slashed on ragged roof iron. My blood spattered blue in dusty raindrops. I scrambled away, stinging. Fear tugged swift needles through the fabric of my soul, and I wasn’t just afraid that he’d hurt me or I’d lose my wits again and touch him and tell him everything’s okay.

I was afraid he was right. The mirror had changed me into some twisted reflection of myself, and I’d never be the same.

Inside my head, soft glassy chuckles echoed like evil memories. I shook them off, but the whisper wouldn’t die. Unease spiked my skin cold. The damn thing was broken. Wasn’t it?

I backed off along the roofline, hot tears stinging my eyes. My voice choked. “I’m not like you, hear me? I don’t wanna be like you. Keep the hell away from me.”

He stared at me, stunned. His bottom lip quivered, and bright silver tears streaked down his cheeks. “You don’t mean that. Ice, tell me you don’t mean it. Please—”

“I mean it, all right, Ebony or Indigo or whoever you are.” Black despair washed my soul. He’d broken my heart. But he’d broken so much more than that. My voice shook to shattered remnants that scraped my throat raw. “You smashed my cure. You lied to me. You murdered! I’ll never forgive you. Just stay the fuck away from me.”

“But I need you, Ice. You make everything well. Be with me. I love you!”

Hearing those words from his beloved lips made me want to cry. The anguish on his tear-streaked face slashed at my heart, and I wanted to fall to my knees and scream to heaven and hell with all my power that this had never happened.

But it had.

I couldn’t soften. I couldn’t forgive him. My body trembled, lonely and cold, and my voice cut like glass. “Don’t ever say that to me again.”

I stumbled down to the roof’s edge, my wings straining to support me, and skidded down the drainpipe and away from him.

I
ce!” Ebony dives after her, his heart a bubbling mess of terror and guilt. He squeezes the gutter so hard, his claws cut the metal and his fingers sting and bleed. But she’s already gone.

Hiding. Out of sight.

Ragged despair claws his lungs, and he shrieks, his throat ripping inside. He tries to focus, and drags in a sick metal-seeking breath, searching for her, the zip on her dress, the jewels at her wrist, the piercing at her pretty belly. Blinding light stabs from all directions. The stink chokes him. He gags, acid burning his tongue. Metal everywhere. He can’t find her.

Wild current erupts from his wing tips, arcing blue. The wet iron roof sizzles and blackens. Ozone and burnt metal scrape at his nose like sandpaper, and the quicksilver taste of blood doesn’t make him feel better. His eyes sting like poison, and he yowls in agony and dives for the tight comfort of cool titanium on his wrist, crunching his metalsense off. Her honey-sweet fluid still sticks on his fingers, her kiss still fresh and rosy on his lips.

Indigo didn’t get her all to himself, oh no. Ebony watched their bittersweet love through smeared black glass, unable to break through, but he was there. He felt her body yearning against his, enjoyed her glorious warmth on his flesh and the incredible heart-wrenching pleasure of making love with her, feeling her sigh and shiver and come on his cock. He felt Indigo’s delight like his own, felt every last fiber of his mirrortwinned heart melt into her clear amber eyes.

He slams his body sideways into the roof in rage, just to feel it hurt. The iron crunches, an Ebony-shaped dent. Metallic pain vibrates in his bones, but they don’t break. He never breaks. He just hurts, over and over, pain rotting away his sanity like maggots in meat until all that’s left is agony.

He can’t follow her. She’ll only run, and her pale disgust was already too much to bear.

Without her, he’s nothing but death.

He jerks aching wings and struggles to the roof’s peak, where moonlight shimmers on rain-soaked corrugations, rain clouds at last scudding away. He teeters on the raked edge, and his glamour wobbles drunkenly, sparks showering from shifting images.

His head swirls like black drain water, the cold fingers of
switch
already filtering through his haze, and Indigo’s distant sorrowful moan swells closer. Nausea sloshes into his stomach like warm brine. The switch isn’t far. His mind sprints in crazy urgent circles, dizzying him. Must get her back. Must. Before Indigo comes.

But icy claws slash into the fragments of his shattered heart, ripping him open like a bloody corpse, and he struggles but his vision shimmers away. With one last defiant thrash, he hurls himself at the stars.

Switch.

Indigo tumbles in dark air, lost. His pulse screams warning. Falling. Instinctively, he flings out aching wings to break his descent, but too late. The ground looms up, alley walls a tight black tunnel he can’t avoid. His head smashes through a rusty iron gutter. He screams, twisting. Rough bricks rip at his wings, and his body slams down onto wet concrete, a mess of steel-drenched agony.

His guts wrench tight. He can’t breathe. He gasps, cramp punching his diaphragm, and at last blessed air forces in. Bruises swell his body to bursting. Blood spills from his slashed lips in a silvery puddle. He’s bleeding all over, his hair dripping with it, his clothes a sticky mercury mess. He grabs something, anything, his claws scraping ruts in rain-streaked ground, and forces his shuddering bones to move. Pain, blood, slashed flesh. It doesn’t matter. He only cares about her. Must find her before Joey does, beg her to give him a moment, let him explain that he’d rip Ebony screaming from his heart if he knew how. That he’ll find a way, for her, even if it kills him. If she can only forgive him.

Like he could explain. Like it’s possible she’ll ever forgive him. Ebony did the killing, but it’s all Indigo’s fault. He shut Eb away so tight that the only way he could feel alive was to kill. And Indigo and Ebony are closer now. He was there, helpless and trapped when Ebony threw the mirror away. His ears still vibrate with the awful smash of precious magic glass. His fingers still scrabble too late for the lost slide of metal. His soul still screams for her.

Fairysharp sorrow slices his heart. She’ll never forgive him. Ebony will never give up on her. If Indigo can’t get rid of his mirror-twin, he’ll damn well never go near her again.

He forces himself to his pain-spiked knees, silver splashing. He can’t forget her. He’ll never forget her, sugarstrawberry girl who for just a few hours melted away his guilt. He owes her for that. He’ll keep her safe as long as he can, until Delilah finally chews the flesh from his bones.

He crackles foil-crumpled wings and staggers to his feet.

A boot slams into his spine, knocking him flat on his face again. Too late the air sparkles with hatred and brass’s limy stink.

He gasps again for breath, a stitch crippling his ribs. A rich snaky chuckle slithers in his ears. “Knew you’d come down sometime, fairydirt. Delilah’s gonna be pleased to see you.”

Fuck. Shoulda listened. Shoulda watched. Shoulda done anything except think about Ice.