Shadows 02 Girl in the Shadows (8 page)

him on it. He'll pay off whoever has to be paid off to
get her out. Where she'll go and what she'll do is
anyone's guess, but don't be surprised if she shows up
outside this door finally. The only reason someone
like her comes home is because no one else will take
her in,"
"You took me in," I reminded her.
"That's a different story. You're a legitimate
person in need. No matter what I do to help her, she'll
only go bad again and again. She's the rotten apple
who spoils the bunch, believe me.
"Oh well, maybe she won't come here. Maybe
she'll use what I gave her to go on another fling. It's
like paying off the devil to keep him from your door. I
can't imagine what would have happened to that poor
child if she had not deserted her." she added, nodding
at Echo, who fortunately wasn't paying any attention
to what was being discussed. "She'd have dragged her
through the muck."
"I'm sorry about all your trouble. Mrs.
Westington."
"Yeah, well, grin and bear it, my grandmother
would say." She sighed. "I'm suddenly very tired
myself."
She started to rise and I could see she had
suffered an emotional shock that added age to her old
bones instantly. I got up quickly to help her. "Thank you. dear. You two go on to bed. I'll
just clean up a bit," she said. "It's not good to lay
down your head when it's so full of agitation. You'll
spin around like a top for hours. Of course, she said,
smiling at me. "you already know all that."
I watched her amble off and then I turned to
Echo, who was staring up at me, concerned. She
quickly signed, asking if her grandmother was sick.
"Just tired," I signed back. The words and the gestures came like a true second language.
I
smiled at how quickly I had drawn them out of the well of knowledge I had just acquired over the past few days. Echo smiled as well. She could see how happy I was
about it.
I reached out for her. She took my hand and we
went upstairs together, she to surely dream about
Tyler. I wouldn't be all that surprised to find him
wandering about in my night musings as well I
thought.
He returned right on time the following day.
Worried about my test results. I held my breath when
I saw him drive up. I was finishing up the grape
harvest with Trevor. Tyler looked my way and waved
emphatically, beckoning me to meet him.
"Go on," Trevor said. "You won't be no good to
me itching to get over there as soon as you can." I handed him my basket of grapes and hurried
to join Tyler as he approached the house.
"All right," he said. "I'll confess I thought you'd
do very poorly on all this, but you really surprised me.
You must have been a decent student."
"Decent but not terrific."
"Good enough," he insisted. "I think we can get
you past the high school equivalency all right." He indicated a bag of books. "These are yours. We'll start on it right away. There's a bottle of our chocolate
wine sauce in there for you to taste as well," "Thanks," I said, taking it all.
We heard Echo call to him and turned to see
she had come out on the porch.
"How is she?" he asked. "Any more talk
about...?"
"She hasn't said a word about any of it.
especially Destiny. I think it's still frightening to her." "Don't worry about it. I have some ideas about
how to handle all this. For now, let's forget about all
that and get to work."
One of the first things he did when he entered
the house was seek out Mrs. Westington to tell her
how well I did on the evaluation tests.
"You don't have to tell me. I knew that girl was
good material." she told him.
I was surprised at how much work Tyler had
already done in regard to my test preparations. He had
developed a structured series of lessons in every
subject.
"We'll work it as close to the actual school
experience as we can." he explained. "You'll read the
work, do the exercises, and then we'll go over them
together to be sure you understand it all."
Echo watched us, clearly annoyed about the
time he was devoting to me. She interrupted us
continually with questions we both knew she didn't
have to ask. He exchanged a knowing look with me
and directed himself more to her.
"I'm glad you're not filling your ears with wax
today," he whispered. "Although, I'll admit now, it
wasn't a terrible idea. In fact," he confessed. "we did
similar things in school to prepare for teaching the
disabled."
It felt good to get compliments from him. My
self-respect was like a crumbled house of cards. It
would take a lot of patience and glue to build it up
again. I bore down on the assignments, motivated
more than ever to do well. Time flew by. Mrs.
Westington called us to lunch and at lunch Tyler was
more chatty, directing himself to me now almost as
much as he did to Echo. He asked me questions about
Memphis, about my earlier life, and about the shows
Uncle Palaver and I did on the road. Wisely, he
included Echo in everything, relating my answers to
her. I could see she was torn between wanting me as a
friend and wanting all of Tyler's attention as well. We returned to our work, but halfway through
the afternoon. Tyler surprised me with a bag. "What's this?"
I
asked, and looked in to see the
batteries I would need to install in Destiny.
"I thought it might be a good idea to visit the
motor home and show Echo how you get the doll to
perform."
"Really?"
"Sure," he said. "That's the fastest way to get
her to understand."
"Shouldn't we tell Mrs. Westington first?" "We'll do it after so she doesn't worry about it,"
he said. "For now it will be our little secret. I'm
curious about it myself. I want to see how good you
are as a performer."
"I wasn't the performer. It was my uncle." "But you said you were part of the show and
knew how to do same of the tricks. That will help
relax Echo. too."
"Okay." I said, although if there was one thing I
had already learned in my short lifetime, it was that
keeping secrets from people you loved and respected
was a recipe for trouble.
"Good. Let's go."
"Now?" I asked.
"It's as good a time as any and everyone deserves a break from work, especially if you consider
how intensely we go at it," he said.
He turned to Echo and signed quickly,
explaining what he wanted us to do. She looked
pleased.
"What did you tell her?"
I
asked.
"Just that you were going to put on a show for
us in the motor home and surprise us."
This was all happening so fast and seemed too
good to be true. The three of us getting along so well
was a hope and a dream. Shell-shocked from one
disappointment after another. I was still nervous and
skeptical. How radically Tyler's attitude toward me
had changed.
"Are you sure it's all right?"
I
asked, desperate
for more and more assurance.
"Don't worry." he added. "She trusts me." Yes.
I thought, she does.
But should 1?

Mrs. Westington was asleep in her easy chair when we left the house to a to Uncle Palaver's motor home. Trevor Washington was on the roof of the winery plant doing some repairs. I didn't think he saw us because he was concentrating hard on his work. Echo looked nervous as we approached the vehicle. but Tyler continually reassured her, telling her we were going to have fun.

When we entered the motor home. Echo stood off to the rear and stared at Destiny, now seated in Uncle Palaver's chair facing the sofa. Turning it over. I lifted the blouse in the back to show her the battery compartment. She drew closer gingerly and watched as I inserted the new ones. She was even more curious now and sat on the sofa to wait for me to complete the installation and preparations.

Tyler sat beside her. "We're ready for our magic show," he said.
I wasn't sure what I should do first. Without Uncle Palaver, it felt strange to do anything involving Destiny. It was almost as if I believed she wouldn't perform for me the way she had performed for him. but I thought of the easiest trick I knew using her. I straightened her up on the seat, or at least, that was what it looked like I was doing.
"Do you have a quarter on you?" I asked Tyler. He dug into his pocket and produced one.
"Okay," I said. "My uncle would ask Destiny for a quarter and she would shake her head. no. He would then ask someone in the audience and..."
"Don't tell us about it. Do it just as your uncle did it," Tyler said.
Echo's eyes were wide, looking from him to me to the Destiny doll.
"Okay. Destiny, would you have a quarter I can borrow?"
Tyler signed what I said so Echo would understand. Using the transmitter in my pocket. I triggered her head to shake a no and as rusty as I was, threw my voice through her to say it as well.
Echo jumped in her seat when Destiny opened her mouth. Tyler took her hand and assured her it was just a trick. She sat back, but she didn't relax. Her eyes were glued to Destiny.
"That's pretty good." Tyler said. "You made her voice so different. even I was thrown for a moment."
"Uncle Palaver was so good at that, sometimes he drank a glass of water while throwing his voice. Don't ask me how."
I took his quarter and then placed it in my palm and showed it to Echo. This part of the trick was easy for me. I had practiced it and practiced it so many times while Uncle Palaver and I rode for hours from one destination to another. I told Echo to put out her hand and open it. Then I put the quarter into her palm and closed her fingers around it.
"Don't open your hand." I said. I signed "'don't open" to be sure she understood, otherwise the trick would be ruined.
Then I turned to Destiny. "Are you sure you have no quarter for me?" I asked her, with Tyler signing to Echo. Destiny shook her head again and I triggered her right arm to come up slowly and then opened her hand. Echo held on to Tyler, but he was just as mesmerized as she was by Destiny's lifelike movements. They both leaned to see that there was a quarter in her hand. The next part was simple. I opened Echo's hand and there was no quarter in hers.
"Holy smokes, how did you do that?" Tyler asked, very much impressed.
"A real magician never tells," I said.
The truth was when I had straightened up Destiny in the chair. I had placed the quarter in her hand and closed it. When I had put it in Echo's hand. I had plucked it out as
I
closed her fingers. I had that quarter hidden in my own hand.
"Uncle Palaver would have a finny dialogue with her now, accusing her of hoarding money. She'd deny it and then he would reach under her chin and lo and behold,"
I
said, opening my hand to reveal the other quarter. "he'd find another,'
Echo laughed and clapped her hands in delight.
Tyler nodded, looking very impressed. "You're fast," he said. "I'm not going to play cards with you. That's for sure." He looked sincerely impressed with me, which encouraged me to continue.
"This is a magic quarter," I announced, holding up one of the quarters. Tyler told Echo.
I was ready to perform the simple straight pin and quarter trick. I had already placed the straight pin in my hand, hidden between my first two fingers. I showed him his quarter again and he turned it over and studied it a moment before handing it back. "Just an ordinary quarter?" I asked,
"So?"
I placed the coin over the straight pin and after I pretended to run my other hand magically over the coin. I then raised the coin to a standing position, raising the straight pin along with it. It looked perfectly balanced on its edge. It was simply leaning against the straight pin. Keeping the pressure on the pin balanced the coin and made it seem as if
it
stood in midair.
Echo clapped her hands in delight. I told her to wave her hand over the quarter the way I did. She did so hesitantly and, when I released the pressure on the pin, the coin began a slow falling back onto my fingers. I then handed the quarter back to Tyler.
"Thanks for use of your magical coin. Mr. Monahan." Destiny said, nodding her head. He looked from me to her and laughed.
"You're terrific."
"It's all very basic stuff," I said. "My uncle was something to watch. People would swear he performed miracles. He really was on television, too. you know."
"I bet." He looked around the motor home and then at Destiny. He turned to Echo and signed. "See. I told you it would be fun. April is a very good magician, isn't she?"
She nodded and smiled at me.
"I guess now we can tell Mrs. Westington everything." Tyler said. "She'll understand and she won't be upset, especially after she hears from Echo about the doll and your magic show."
"Yes, you're right," I said. He was clever to have us do all this first. I was angry, at myself for suspecting him of any other motives.
He looked at Destiny. "Are you going to sell her, too, when the
attorney says it's all right to do so?"
"Oh, no, I can't do that." I replied quickly.
"It might be hard explaining that doll to everyone when you cart her about in your car," he said. "Especially when they see how realistically created she is."
"I
don't care.
I
can't give her away or sell her to anyone,"
I
said, surprised myself at how much panic was in my voice when
I
said it.
"It's just a doll. April."
"I
know, but it was my uncle Palaver's most cherished possession. It has meaning no one else can appreciate."
He thought a moment and nodded. "Okay. Let's see if Mrs. Westington will let you bring her into the house."
"It's not that important yet,"
I
said. "When
I
have to sell off the motor home. I'll think about her. As silly as it might sound to you,"
I
added, looking at Destiny, "this is the only home she has ever known."
He looked at me with a slight smile on his face and then he nodded.
I
was sure my reactions amused him.
Afterward, we walked back to the house to continue our
lessons.
"Where have you been?" Mrs. Westington asked. When we entered, it woke her.
"We'll let Echo tell you," Tyler said, and told her to do so.
She began excitedly. Most of it Mrs. Westington didn't understand or follow, but she did get the main idea.
"You put on a show for them?" she asked inc. "Using thatdoll?"
"As best I could." I said.
"When I heard April's story. I thought it would be the best way to explain that doll to Echo," Tyler added. "She saw it in action and understood its real purpose."
"Hmm," Mrs. Westington said. "Well. I guess it all worked out for the best then. You can bring it into the house whenever you want." she told me.
I thanked her and we all returned to our work until it was Tyler's time to go home. Echo was always very disappointed when the clock struck that hour. To get her off her sadness, he gave her one more thing to do, asking her to have it ready for him when next he returned and making it sound like it was very important to him. That was enough to get her started immediately. He could ask her to dig a ditch all night and she would do it for him. I thought. He kept talking to me about my own assignments and preparation for the high school equivalency exam. so I walked out with him.
"I'm glad this is turning out better than I had expected," he said. There was almost nothing else he could have said that would have made me feel as good. "I only hope I can be here long enough to help you."
After we left the house. I walked with him to his car. The late afternoon sun was threading its rays through the tops of the trees that surrounded the pond. A light, golden laver like the icing on a cake made the water glimmer,
"It looks like a pond of Chardonnay,"
I
said, nodding at the water.
Tyler laughed. "I guess Trevor Washington and his winery are having an influence on you."
"It is interesting. I imagine this was once a very beautiful vineyard."
"Probably. My mother remembers it in its heyday. I don't." He got into his sports car and looked up at me before starting the engine. "Aren't you bored here? There's not much for you to do except prepare for your exam and help Trevor. They don't even have cable television. Their set is still attached to an old- fashioned antenna."
"I haven't had time to think about it," I said. "with my uncle's death and all that followed."
"Yes. I guess that's true." He started the engine. "'Well, maybe one night. I'll show you around the area.."
"Really?"
He shrugged. "See you. Spend some more time on those algebraic equations."
I watched him drive off. He waved just before turning at the bottom of the driveway, the sound of his car engine reverberating over the street and dying away like thunder in the distance. It was then that I realized my heart was thumping, and it was then that I vowed to myself
I
would go on a serious diet and begin to once again do the exercises Brenda had once designed for me.
It was as if thinking about her brought her back. As soon as I entered the house. Mrs. Westington told me Brenda was on the telephone, calling me from Europe. I hurried to take
^,
the receiver.
"Why are you still there?' she demanded as soon as I said hello. "Why didn't you go to Cousin Pete's? I called him and he said he knew nothing about you or Uncle Palaver's death. You never even called him. I felt so stupid."
"Mrs. Westington invited me to stay here and help her with her granddaughter, who's deaf and lives here alone. She's nearly fifteen, but she's very immature. She's hired her granddaughter's tutor to coach me for the high school equivalency exam as well and I'm helping with the small vineyard and wine-making," I said, all in one breath. Brenda was so quiet, I thought we had lost the connection. "Did you hear me?"
"Yes, but if you had gone to live with Cousin Pete, you could be in a regular school. April. I don't understand how you could simply take up with strangers like that."
"Once you meet Mrs. Westington, you'll understand. This is a big house. It was once a famous thriving vineyard and winery
"I've got another few weeks in Europe and then I'm coming back to live in Seattle," she said over my words, as if they had no importance.
"Seattle?"
"Yes. I was calling to tell you I've been offered a position on a professional basketball team in Seattle and I've taken it. Now that I know you're still there. I'll keep in touch. I'm going to stopover in San Francisco for a few hours. and I don't think you're far from there. right?"
"No. I'm not."
"Then we'll meet and talk about all this then. April. let you know my exact schedule. Afterward. I'll be on the road with the team a treat deal, but you can come to live with me once I'm set up in Seattle."
"Just you?" I asked.
"For now" she replied honestly.
"Well talk when you're in San Francisco," I said,
"Are you really all right?"
"Yes."
"Okay. I'll call you." she promised. "Take care of yourself."
"You, too."
I couldn't help crying softly. Just hearing her voice brought back so much so quickly it took my breath away. Mrs. Westington saw me wiping away the tears.
"Why don't you go up and take a little rest. Take a warm bath and relax. I know that boy overworked you."
"No, he didn't." I said.
She raised her eyebrows at how quickly I had come to Tyler's defense. It embarrassed me. too.
"I mean, he's just trying to get me to make up for all this time lost. I didn't do any schoolwork when I was on the road with my uncle."
"Uh-huh," she said. She tried to hide a smile from me and went to busy herself with dinner preparations. I hurried out and up to my room. My head was swirling with confusion. Yes. I would like to be with Brenda again. I thought. She was my only family, despite what had occurred, but the life she proposed for me sounded so tentative and so lonely, and not so much different from the way it had been in Memphis. Surely it wouldn't be long before she'd find someone, a new companion. and I would be shoved to the back of the bus again. I longed to be independent, despite my age. I didn't want her to be my legal guardian. If someone like Tyler Monahan proposed to me, I'd accept in a heartbeat.
Was that even a remote possibility or was I just as immature as Echo when it came to my fantasies?
I gazed at myself in the mirror. Was I such a lost cause? Couldn't I lose weight, make myself attractive, have a young man seriously consider me, fall in love with me? Wasn't I capable of loving a man? In a true sense,
I
suppose if I wanted to be honest. I would admit that I wasn't much more sophisticated about it all than Echo was. If Tyler Monahan only knew the truth about me when it came to my experiences with boys. I thought, he'd be quite surprised.
I returned to the closet, where Rhona's pretty and sexy clothing hung like a tantalizing promise, daring me to turn it into a reality. I vowed then and there to get up earlier every morning and jog just as Brenda used to do.
I
had to develop an attitude. I had to hate the body I was in and swear to myself I would get out of it. Brenda once told me to conjure up a vision of myself as I would like to see myself and whenever I looked into a mirror. I should be unsatisfied until I saw that vision reflected back.
"Focus," she urged, "Become a monomaniac. Think only of that goal and twist and turn everything to service it. Focus, focus, focus," she chanted at me.
I know it annoyed and even disgusted her that I could never do it. I would try to do it for a while and then drift back to my self-destructive ways.
"You're a lost cause," she would tell me. "Don't ask me for anymore help or advice.
I
don't like wasting my time and energy on someone who really doesn't care about helping herself."
I couldn't call it tough love because her face was really filled with disdain. The tough was there but not the love, and it was no act for my benefit. I often thought she wished I wasn't related to her, and in school I saw the way she would ignore me, pretending I wasn't around. If she didn't see or hear from me all that day, it wouldn't bother her a bit. In fact, she preferred it. She had a joke she used often. "We had a different mailman when April was born."