Shadows (13 page)

“
There's mail
in dispatch,
”
another guard said,
“
along with a bunch of stuff for Down Deep in Hammond's
office, but you don't need to port it there today. Mr. Hammond just
wants it off the floor.
”

“
It's OK for
us to go into his office?
”
Lisa
queried.

Susan felt her heart skip a
beat.

“
Sure. It's
gonna take you a few loads to clear.
”

They were waved through the
turnstile. In her mind's eye, Susan could see Charlie just ahead of
her, grinning as they snuck into IT at night. Guilt hung over
her.

As they were escorted
through the level, Susan looked out at the sea of heads sitting at
the computer consoles stretching across the floor. For the life of
her, she couldn't imagine what they all did. Nothing was
computerized within the silo. Why did they need so many people?
What were they working on?

“
You get the
mail,
”
Lisa said.
“
I'll check out the
haul from Hammond's office.
”

Susan stopped at the
secretary's desk outside the meeting rooms near the back of the
floor as Lisa and the guard walked on. She was shaking. She felt
like a traitor, as though she'd done something violently
wrong.

“
Can I help
you?
”
the secretary asked, and Susan jumped.

“
Ah, I'm here
for the mail,
”
she said, composing herself. Her
eyes darted around, scanning the floor, looking to see if anyone
was staring back at her. No one was, but she felt as though there
were eyes upon her, as though someone were reading her thoughts,
waiting for that soft voice inside her head to betray
her.

The secretary rummaged
around in a large drawer under her desk. Susan peered around the
corner. She could just make out the dark edge of the server room.
The door was open. The hum coming from within set her nerves on
end. She could hear Hammond's voice as well as Barney's, but she
couldn't make out what they were saying. Hammond, though, sounded
angry.

“
Here you
go,
”
the secretary said, handing Susan several bundles of
letters. Susan slipped her pack off one shoulder, allowing it to
slide around in front of her and packed the letters inside. Then
she stood there, still trying to hear what Hammond was
saying.

“
Is there
something else?
”
the secretary asked.

“
No.
No,
”
Susan replied, her eyes wide with fear. She swallowed
the lump in her throat and started walking nervously back along the
walkway that lead through the open plan floor. There were concrete
pillars spaced every thirty feet. She expected someone to jump out
from behind each one.

Her senses were on edge.
She could smell the crisp, zing of electronics, the damp, musty
tinge from the air conditioning, the starch from the neatly ironed
white coveralls of the workers sitting at their stations. Why was
it so quiet? Why wasn't anyone talking? Someone dropped a pencil on
a desk and she flinched. The sound seemed to be amplified. Behind
her she could hear Hammond and Barney talking with the secretary.
Suddenly, Hammond's voice rose.

“
Is that
her?
”

Susan quickened her pace.
Her palms were sweaty. Everyone seemed to be looking at her.
Whether they were or not, she didn't know. She couldn't take her
eyes off the end of the hallway. Her fingers were trembling. She
grabbed at the straps of the pack over her shoulder as though she
were bearing a heavy load and leaned forward, pushing on with the
gait of a porter on a mission.

“
Hey,
”
came a cry from behind her, but she
ignored it, lengthening her stride as she approached the security
station. The guard tipped his hat and smiled. She couldn't smile
back. She could hear footsteps behind her, running up after
her.

“
Just a
little further,
”
she muttered to herself, as though
somehow clearing the security station would make any difference.
Her thinking wasn't rational, and deep down she understood that,
but somehow the other side of that barrier represented freedom. She
was afraid. Susan had never known a fear like this, where the fine
hairs on her arms bristled and flexed. She didn't even know what
she was scared of as she hadn't done anything wrong, but that guard
could identify her movements from a couple of days ago. Why was it
wrong to look for answers? What was so bad about that? Why did she
feel guilty for the pleasure of seeking knowledge?

The turnstile opened
outward automatically and she stepped through as she heard her name
being called from behind.

“
Susan!
”

She recognized the voice.
It was Barney. She turned back from the other side of the security
station. No one was looking at her, no one other than Barney
jogging up to the turnstile.

“
Hey,
”
he said with a friendly smile,
walking out of the IT department after her.

Susan had to turn and keep
going. Her heart was pounding in her throat. She stepped out on to
the landing in front of level 34. The familiar feel of the rough
tread beneath her boots was reassuring.

“
I've been
looking for you,
”
Barney said, coming up beside her as
she gripped the handrail on the landing. The irregular pulse of
boots on the stairs gave the handrail a slight tremor, rippling
back and forth beneath her fingers, soothing her troubled
soul.

“
Are you
OK?
”
he asked.

“
Yeah,
fine,
”
she said, turning and forcing a smile as she put
on a pretense. He seemed to buy it, smiling back.

“
Listen,
”
he said, fishing for something in
his pocket with his right hand.
“
You dropped this the
other night.
”

It was only then she became
aware of Hammond standing behind the counter in the security
station. He was flicking through the ledger, apparently ignoring
them, but she knew he'd be focusing his mind to pick up any stray
words from their conversation.

Barney
whispered,
“
Don't
look.
”

She turned back to him.
Their eyes met, and she could see he was afraid. He held the
hair-band out in front of her, playing with it as he fidgeted
nervously.

“
Ah, you
know, I had a great time the other night,
”
he said in a
pleasant voice that sounded as though he didn't have a care in the
world.

She knew what he was doing,
he was covering for Charlie. Hammond must have found her hair-band,
but he hadn't put two-and-two together. He knew she'd been down
there, but he must have figured Barney took her in there for some
privacy, to grandstand and strut his feathers as teenagers do. If
he knew Charlie had been in there too, there would be hell to
pay.

Susan took a
deep breath, saying,
“
Me
too.
”

She smiled at
him and added,
“
Thank
you.
”

“
So I
...
”
Barney was lost for words. He was clearly trying to
put up a facade for Hammond. The look in his eyes was one of abject
fear, although it didn't come across in his voice.
“
I guess I'll see you around.
”

“
Sure,
”
she said.

So long as Hammond thought
they were a couple they were safe, but Hammond had seen her with
Charlie. He had to think she was playing the field. She had to make
this look convincing. Susan rested her hands on either side of
Barney's hips and reached in and kissed him on the lips, being sure
to linger for a second so as to impart some feeling. She closed her
eyes, feeling his hands resting gently on her shoulders.

In that moment, as she
closed her eyes, she was transported back to the tenth grade. His
lips were soft and just as gentle as they had been then.

“
GET AWAY
FROM HER!
”
a voice cried from the stairs.

They both turned. Her heart
raced.

Charlie was standing no
more than three steps up from the landing, having come down from
above. He paused with his hand on the railing and his legs poised
to spring.

Barney stepped
backwards.

Susan stepped
toward Charlie, beckoning with her hands, saying,
“
Charlie, wait! It's not what you
—”

Charlie launched himself at
Barney, knocking him to the ground and pummeling him with his
fists. Barney tried to defend himself, putting his arms up to block
the blows, but he didn't strike back.

“
NO!
”
Susan screamed.

Charlie unleashed three or
four rapid punches to Barney's head, striking him on jaw, the
cheekbone and the nose. Brilliant red splatters of blood sprayed
out across the landing. The IT security team rushed out of their
station, but it took them a few seconds to get out through the
door, over the turnstile and onto the landing.

Susan kicked
Charlie, catching him on the side of his stomach as she
yelled,
“
GET OFF HIM!
”

For his part, Charlie kept
swinging at Barney as the two of them rolled on the metal landing.
Charlie was manic, with his arms pumping and his fists swinging
back and forth. The sound of each blow sickened Susan, she kept
screaming, but Charlie wouldn't stop.

One of the security guards
grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him away, while another stood
between him and Barney with his arms out, keeping them apart. Blood
ran from Barney's nose, staining his white coveralls. Brilliant
splashes of red marred the floor and walls. A dozen heads peered
from within IT, trying to see the commotion.

Susan ran to Barney. At the
time, she wasn't sure why she didn't run to Charlie, but it was the
sense of injustice and pity she felt for Barney. She rested her
hand on his upper arm.

“
Are you
ok?
”

Barney looked up at her.
His eyes spoke of a pain more than physical. She could see the
anguish in the depths of his soul. He nodded slowly. His cheek
twitched involuntarily and she could see he was shaken.

“
Sue!
”
Charlie cried, still being held back
by the security guard. The guard had him in a headlock, with his
arms wrapped under Charlie's shoulder and his hands behind the
small of Charlie's neck. Any movement Charlie made resulted in the
guard applying pressure and bringing him quickly to a
halt.

“
Don't,
”
Susan said, standing beside Barney.
She turned and pointing a finger.
“
Don't you
dare.
”

She was so angry she almost
stormed over and slapped him. She wanted to, but the guards were
intimidating.

Hammond walked out of IT
and up to Barney. His voice was gruff, and unusually calm given the
circumstances.

“
Do you want
to press charges, son?
”

Barney never looked up from
the view of his blood soaked coveralls. He simply shook his head as
he wiped his nose.

“
Let him
go,
”
Hammond said to the guard.

The security guard standing
between Charlie and Barney had a nightstick out, ready to use it if
Charlie tried anything. Charlie just stood there nursing a split
lip as the IT personnel took Barney back inside the turnstile to
get medical attention. Susan and Charlie were left alone on the
landing. A couple of porters had come to a halt about ten steps
down on the stairs, waiting to cross the landing.

“
What is
wrong with you?
”
Susan demanded, storming past
Charlie.

“
Me?
”
Charlie replied.
“
You
—”

“
Don't you
dare,
”
she repeated, cutting him off.
“
You have no idea. What the hell were you doing down here
anyway?
”

“
I ...
ah.
”

“
Were you
following me?
”
she asked.

“
I just
wanted to see you.
”

“
You were
stalking me,
”
she said as the realization sunk
in.

“
Sue,
I
—”