Shadows (20 page)

“
Don't you
ever wonder?
”
she asked.
“
I do. I wonder
what the world was like before all this.
”

Her mother
was silent, sitting down quietly beside her at the table. Such talk
was forbidden, but Susan didn
’
t care.

“
I wonder how
many sunrises and sunsets this planet has seen. I wonder how long
the Moon has sat up there, staring down at us, watching us. I
wonder how long there have been people down here staring back at
its cratered surface.
”

She sighed,
not sure how much her mother understood. Charlie had opened her
eyes. Although Susan only had a brief glimpse at the books beneath
the server room, for her that had been a watershed moment, allowing
all that Charlie had shared with her to crystalize in her mind. For
Susan, the tragedy of lost knowledge was as heartbreaking as
Charlie
’
s death.

The
staggering diversity she had witnessed that night flicking through
those pages had been etched in her mind. Images of half-naked
savages in leafy, green jungles, or thousands of different species
of birds, all of them looking as though they
’
d been dipped
in the brightest of paints. There had been rockets soaring above
the blue expanse of Earth; she
’
d heard the sky
above had once been blue, but she never dreamed you could fly above
the blue and stare down upon it as one would lean over the Great
Fall.

Men had stood
on the Moon! It
’
s dusty grey surface
looked even more inhospitable than the world beyond the silo, and
the suits those men wore were far more robust than those of a
cleaner. Oh, there was so much she wanted to tell her mother, so
much she wanted to explain. Specks of light in the night sky were
far-flung suns, while others were entire planets larger than Earth.
One of them even had a ring floating around its waist. Oh, the
beauty was something she longed to behold again.

“
I wonder if
we'll ever get out there,
”
she said
absentmindedly.
“
Not in a suit. I
mean, will we ever walk in green meadows under a blue sky? Perhaps
not us, but someone, anyone?
”

She turned to
her mother, adding,
“
I used to wonder how
the world could get so bad, how an entire planet could be
decimated, forcing us to live in a hole in the ground, but I don't
wonder any more. Now, I know. Today, I saw how evil thrives. All it
takes is for someone in a position of authority to defend
themselves, to decide that reality is subordinate to their iron
will. Oh, I'm sure there are reasons. There are always reasons.
Every act needs to be justified, regardless of whether it is good
or evil. Evil, though, justifies its acts with the sacrifice of the
innocent.
”

Her mother rested her hand
on Susan's fingers.

“
He's
innocent, Mom. I know he is.
”

Susan sighed. Her mother's
fingers were warm. She felt comfort in the strength of her mother's
grip. Tears welled up in her eyes.

“
I've never
heard you talk this way before,
”
her mother
said.

“
I've never
felt this way before,
”
Susan replied.
“
It's
strange. On one level, I feel gutted, as though my innards have
been wrenched from my body. On another, I see this for what it is,
the cruel dominance of our lives by those that care more for the
concrete walls that surround us than any life we may bring to
them.

“
Charlie
knew. Charlie understood. Charlie dared. That was his crime, to
want more. And not for himself, for all of us. And that's why he
has to die.
”

She sobbed quietly,
covering her eyes with her hands. Her mother rubbed her back,
comforting her, just as she had so many times before when Susan was
a child.

“
Come
home,
”
her mother said gently.

“
I
can't,
”
Susan spluttered.
“
I can't leave
him.
”

“
I told
you,
”
said a male voice from behind her, and her father sat
down on the other side of her, leaning his crutch on the bench
seat. He dropped a pillow on the table, draping a blanket over her
shoulders.

Susan looked at him and
forced a smile through her tears.

“
Thanks.
”

With that, her mother and
father kissed her and left. Susan wasn't sure how, but somehow she
fell asleep sitting at the table with her head resting on the
pillow. She was exhausted mentally, emotionally and
physically.

Chapter 11: Cleaning

“
Hey ... Are
you awake?
”

The first thought that
drifted across her mind was, what a stupid question.

“
Hey,
”
the voice said again, as a firm hand
shook her shoulder gently.

Susan opened her eyes. Dark
clouds rolled across the wall-screen. Dawn had begun to break in
the distance, catching clouds high in the stratosphere, giving the
sky the illusion of life. For a moment, she could almost imagine a
beautiful day dawning. But the dust blowing across the barren
ground spoke of desolation and ruin. The shattered remains of a
distant city still loomed over the hills like skeletons. Smoke
still billowed ferociously from the shattered remains of the
hillside closest to the kitchen.

“
You've got
five minutes with the prisoner,
”
Deputy Michelson
said. He'd only ever be a deputy in her eyes. He might wear the
badge of a sheriff, but he'd proven himself unworthy of the title
as far as she was concerned. Had she not been so groggy, she might
have told him so, regardless of how petty that would have
seemed.

Quietly, she got to her
feet, rubbing her eyes and then stretching her arms to shake off
the lethargy of night.

Deputy
Michelson walked away from her, back toward the office,
saying,
“
Normally, they don't go crazy till after you put
them in the airlock. Your boy, though, he's a
wacko.
”

“
What do you
mean?
”
she asked, hurrying to catch up with
Michelson.

“
I mean,
Phillips made the mistake of leaving the boy's cleaning suit too
close to the bars. Instead of lying there quietly, contemplating
the view on the screen in his cell, your boy goes nuts, trying to
destroy his suit.
”

“
What?
”
she replied as he opened the door to
the office.

“
No time to
get another one. Hammond wants us to go ahead and use it as
is.
”

Hammond, she thought, well,
that figures.

Susan walked through the
narrow office, past the various desks and the holding cells toward
the back of the station. Deputy Michelson unlocked a steel door
with a small porthole built into it and ushered her into a narrow
corridor next to the main cell. He shut the door behind her,
leaving her alone with Charlie.

“
Five
minutes,
”
he called out as the door slammed.

“
Sue,
”
Charlie cried, rushing to the bars
of his cell and reaching between them.

As awkward as it felt,
Susan hugged him through the bars, kissing him on the lips, the
cheek, the chin, wherever she could reach.

“
Oh,
Susan,
”
he said.
“
I'm so
sorry.
”

Tears streamed down her
cheeks.

“
Why didn't
you fight the charge?
”
she asked.
“
Why didn't you
mount a defense?
”

“
Hammond
spoke to me before the trial. He said Barney told him everything.
He knew about us and the books. He promised, Sue ... He promised
he'd spare you if I went willingly.
”

The two of them sunk to
their knees, still reaching through the bars to touch each
other.

“
Oh, Susan.
I'm so sorry. I should have never got you
involved.
”

“
No,
”
she said, wiping her tears and
pulling her hair back from her face.
“
No, don't you say
that. You shouldn't be sorry. He should be. He's lied to us. He's
lied to everyone. We need to expose him. I need
to
—”

“
Susan,
”
Charlie said softly.
“
I love you, but don't do this, OK? Promise me you won't
throw away your life. Don't follow me out there.
”

Susan sobbed. Her chest
heaved. Charlie reached through the bars and wiped her
tears.

“
You've got
to be strong, Susan. Please, be strong for me. I need to know
you'll be OK. That's the only way I can go through with this.
Please.
”

Susan nodded, unable to
answer, sniffing as she wiped her nose on the back of her
sleeve.

“
I love
you,
”
Charlie said, gently squeezing her hand.

She tried to
be brave, wiping the tears from her eyes as she blurted out,
“
I love you too, Charlie Pritchard. Oh, God, look at me. I
must look a wreck.
”

Charlie
laughed.
“
You've never looked more
beautiful.
”

Susan reached
out and batted him playfully through the bars, saying,
“
Smooth talker.
”

They both managed a
restrained laugh.

Susan looked around at the
cell. She'd been so focused on him she initially hadn't noticed the
torn mattress and loose stuffing littering the floor. The inside of
the cell was a mess, covered in white cotton frantically pulled out
of the mattress. Bits of thermal tape, plastic and pieces torn from
the blue pinstriped mattress cover lay strewn everywhere. A thin
strip of black rubber hung down from the side of the wall-screen,
dangling in front of the gloomy view.

“
What
happened?
”
she asked, seeing Charlie had dragged the
cleaning suit through the bars. The suit lay spread it out on what
remained of the mattress.

“
I got
bored.
”

The look on her face must
have convinced him she wasn't accepting that as an
explanation.

“
OK,
”
he continued.
“
I've got a
theory about the cleanings. I don't think the atmosphere is as bad
as they make out. I think the suits are designed to
fail.
”

“
What makes
you say that?
”
she asked.

“
Have you
ever heard of the camera that drives the wall-screen failing? Or
the seal on the airlock perishing? How come these components have
survived in such a harsh environment for hundreds of years and yet
we can't walk outside in a suit for more than five minutes?
Something doesn't add up.
”

“
You don't
think it's poisonous out there?
”
she asked, her
eyebrows raise in genuine surprise.

“
Oh, it's
poisonous, all right. But these suits are designed to fail. It's an
execution, right? Why would they build a suit you could survive in
if they're trying to kill you?
”

Susan smiled, shaking her
head. Charlie had a way of seeing the obvious, only the obvious
never seemed obvious until he pointed it out.

“
So what have
you done?
”
she asked.

“
Ah,
”
he said, turning and gesturing
toward the wall-screen at the back of his cell.
“
Some
sadistic bastard figured a condemned man had nothing better to do
with his time than to look outside and think about dying, but that
guy never met me. I look out there, and I learn.
”

Charlie jumped up on the
bed, being careful not to stand on the silver suit. He pointed at
the screen, moving quickly between several bodies lying on the
shattered hillside, his finger hit each one as he tapped at the
screen.

“
What do you
notice about these cleaners?
”
he
asked.

“
Ah,
”
Susan said, not knowing where to
begin.
“
They're dead?
”

Charlie
smiled.
“
Look at their suits.
”