Shadows Amongst Light (The Spy Who Loves Me) (37 page)

             
“Momma, why doesn’t Uncle Davis talk about daddy?”

             
“Well, what do you mean baby?” I asked and turned to look at Ben who was sitting at the table his little hands clasp in his lap.

             
“Every time I ask him where daddy is he won’t tell me.”

             
“Oh baby, you know that he can’t. I mean, he probably doesn’t know for sure. You’re father moves around a lot on the job.” I saw all the questions Ben wanted to ask right there on his face and I tried to distract him before he could get them out.

             
“Okay, why don’t we take Bo for a short walk around the front yard to get some fresh air?” I said the first thing that came to mind. Thankfully it worked.

             
A short time later, Davis came out to join us on the front porch, whispering so that only I could hear.

             
“You know this isn’t exactly safe.”

             
I watched Ben and Bo examining a wild flower a little ways away. Ben wasn’t aware of what the two grownups in his life were talking about for the moment.

             
“I know, but I needed to get his mind off Noah. He was asking more questions about Noah again.”

             
“Something smells good,” Davis said without arguing any the point.

             
“Roasted chicken. It’s almost done. I thought...”

             
“That sound good,” Davis and I were starting to read each other’s thoughts again. Over the past few days, we’d slipped back to that old comfortable companionship of the past. But I couldn’t let myself go there with him again. Even though I saw it in his eyes, Davis wanted more from me than just friendship. We might have unfinished business with each other, but I still had things to settle in my mind about Noah. I needed to know where my future lay with him.

             
Sometimes, the hardest thing in the world to do is nothing at all.

             
As Davis and I sat quietly together waiting for Ben to fall asleep after dinner, I was more nervous than I’d ever been. The tension in the air was hard to ignore.

             
We sat pretending we were watching the TV, expecting something to happen, and hoping that we wouldn’t be too late.

             
Once Ben fell asleep, I let Davis carry him up to his bed.

             
“Just leave him dressed,” he told me when I started to remove his shoes. “It will be one less thing to worry about if we have to leave sooner than expected.”

             
We were outside of Ben’s bedroom again when I asked Davis, “You’ve heard something.” I watched him try to hide the truth from me. “Don’t lie, Davis. I can see it in your eyes.”

             
“I don’t know if it’s anything yet. But we need to keep alert. Look, I’m going to be awake anyway, I’m expecting some new information soon. Why don’t you try to get some sleep? Just a few hours, if nothing else. I know it’s hard. But you need to try.”

             
“What about you? You haven’t had any more sleep than I have. You look exhausted Davis.”

             
“I’m okay--I’ll make some more coffee. Don’t worry about me Cameron. I’ll be okay.”

             
“If anything happens you’ll let me know?”

             
“Yes, you know I will. Did you pack some things for the hike?”

             
“Yes, we’re all set Davis. Whenever you’re ready we’ll be ready.”

             
“Good,” he told me touching my hair for a moment. “Someday Cameron Alexander you and I are going to get it together. I know we are.”

             
I could only smile at that. We both knew there would never be a right time for us. Instead, I touched my lips to Davis’s and walked away before he could say anything more.

             
I lay down on my bed, fully clothed listening to the sounds of Davis moving about in the kitchen. Remembering all the times that Noah had told me, in the very beginning that no one left The Organization. I hadn’t believed him then. I hadn’t believed him when I’d walked away from it five years ago. Now, I believed.

             
I was right back in the middle of it all again, in spite of all of my dislike for this business. My husband had been secretly working for his former boss for years, while keeping it a secret from me. I couldn’t help but wonder what else had Noah kept hidden from me. What else had he lied about?

             
Certainly the extent of Judah involvement in terrorism. He’d been tracking my brother for years. Noah knew that I’d been in touch with Judah and yet he never mentioned it to me. What else was he hiding?

             
At that moment, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to know. Had Noah only been pretending to love me? Pretending to be happy at simply being a husband and a father? Was his whole purpose for coming back to me in the first place just so that he could keep track of Judah’s movements?

             
I couldn’t stop the tears that came at all my shattered dreams. I’d wanted the whole fairy tale. The family, the children. The happily ever after. Noah and I had even talked about having another child just a few weeks before he left. Was that just another part of the cover? Another tactic? Was Noah simply playing the part of concerned and loving husband to keep me cooperative?

             
I’m not sure how long my thoughts went round and round before I’d finally fallen into a troubled sleep.

             
I was awakened abruptly by someone placing their hand over my mouth.

             
“Shh. It’s okay, it’s me.”

             
“What is it?” I asked Davis.

             
“There’s someone outside. Around the front of the house. Don’t make a sound.” I nodded and he took his hand away but stayed close enough to whisper.

             
“I need you to take Ben and get him out of here. Go up to the rock you told me about. As far away from the house as possible. Take the radios. I’ll have mine with me as well. You have the gun?”

             
Again, I nodded and Davis said, “Good. Listen to me. If I don’t come after you in half and hours’ time, don’t wait. Follow through with the plan. Someone will be there to meet you on the other side. It’s important that you do as I say, Cameron. Don’t wait any longer than that. If you don’t hear from me by then, you and Ben go ahead. I’ll catch up when I can.”

             
I knew what he meant by that. If that happened, I’d never see Davis alive again.

             
“You’re going to have to use the window in the basement. It’s as far away from the great room as possible and I don’t think anyone will be watching it. Don’t use the lights and keep Ben as quiet as you can. I have to go Cameron. Hurry up.”

             
I grabbed the backpack, put it on, making sure to tuck they weapon into my jeans’ under my shirt and out of sight. Then I went to Ben’s room d lifted him up into my arms.

             
He started to whimper and I whispered, “Baby it’s okay, it’s just me. Ben I need you to listen to me and do exactly what I tell you. I need you to be perfectly quiet. You can’t make a sound and I don’t have time to explain. I just need you to do exactly what I tell you, okay?”

             
Slowly Ben nodded, his frightened focused on my expression.

             
“Everything is going to be okay, baby. Just do as I tell you, okay?”

             
I carried my son downstairs to the basement and opened the window, sitting Ben on the sill. Once I’d climbed out into the darkness, I lifted him down in my arms.

             
Outside, I stood silently listening for any unusual sound around, but there was only silence. An oppressing sound that made me aware of every breath I took.

             
Even though I knew the property like the back of my hand, it was still difficult to maneuver in the dark while carrying a child.

             
Ben and I started up toward the north range slowly in the surrounding darkness. There was no moon tonight, only a sky full of stars to give any light.

             
All along the rugged path, the scrub brush tore at my jeans, while I looked back at the dark silhouette of the house. There was no sound coming from inside. I felt my heart pound inside my body at the possibilities. Was Davis okay? Was he already coming after us? Was he locked in the struggle that we’d both been expecting for days?

             
I stopped for a moment to get my bearings. The rock that I’d had Ben hide behind was just up head to my right. I glanced around the area but didn’t see any signs of someone following us.

             
Slowly Ben and I made our way through the thick underbrush to the ledge, where the rock disguised a small cave barely four feet deep. I stepped inside and set my son down.

             
“Don’t say anything yet.” I whispered against his ear. Happy that for once the see Ben’s silence.

             
I took out the flashlight and scanned the cave making sure that nothing waited for us there, before quickly extinguishing it.

             
I took one of the radios and handed one to Ben leaning in close to whisper again.

             
“Keep this with you, honey. Don’t lose it. And don’t move from this spot. I’ll be right back.”

             
“No, momma,” he whispered and started to cling. I knelt close to him so that he could see my face.

             
“Baby, you have to trust me. Everything will be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

             
“Momma, where’s Uncle Davis?” he asked frightened and close to tears.

             
“Baby, I don’t know. I’m just going to step outside for a second to look around, okay. I’ll be right back. But if I’m not, you don’t move from here. You stay right here in this spot until I come back. Do you understand, Ben?”

             
“Yes...” He answered his tiny voice shaking.

             
“Baby, don’t you worry, everything will be okay.”

             
I untangled myself reluctantly from his clinging little fingers, hating that I had to leave my son this way.

             
I stepped outside of the cave, a little away from the entrance but still close enough to keep an eye on it. From here, I could see anyone approaching from any direction.

             
I checked my watch and saw that we’d been away from the house almost fifteen minutes already.

             
The radio clipped to my pocket came alive with. At first, I thought that Davis was trying to reach me. I pulled it out and was almost ready to ask him where he was when I heard his voice and knew the truth. Davis was still at the house and he was trying to warn me.

             
“So you came after all, Judah? That was foolish on your part. Do you really think we weren’t expecting you?”

             
“Shut up, Davis.” I listened in horror at the sound of my brother’s voice. The man speaking to Davis was a far cry from the gentle person I thought I knew.

             
“Of course I came. It will be my pleasure to end your miserable existence. You betrayed me Davis. I considered you my friend but all along you were working for the Bureau. I’m going to enjoy every second of watching your pain.”      

             
Judah was now somewhere inside the house. He’d come for me and for Ben but he had a score to settle with Davis as well. Instinctively, I knew that I had to help, Davis. Just from the slight tone in his voice, I believed Davis was in trouble.

             
I glanced back to the cave and decided it was best to leave Ben alone for the moment. I didn’t dare take him with me. He was probably safer inside the cave than trekking down the path with me to an uncertain ending.

             
I didn’t hear any other voices besides Davis and Judah’s. Davis had deliberately left the radio on so that I would know the danger and not come back after him, but I couldn’t leave a fellow agent behind. I couldn’t leave Davis because I cared too much about him.

             
My brother was here for of me. I guess I’d always known this moment was coming eventually.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

              I was half way back down the path when I heard the footsteps behind me. At first, I thought Ben had followed. I turned to see a figure walking quickly towards me. I pulled the gun and trained it on the person.