Shadows and Light (12 page)

“My poor Rafael,” Xian said, reaching out and cupping his apprentice’s face in his hands. “You’ve suffered a great deal for me. You’ll continue to suffer for me, because I won’t make you leave me even though I think you should.” He brushed his thumb slowly across Rafael’s lower lip, tracing its contours with a gentleness that was surprising. “Beautiful boy.”

Rafael couldn’t ask the question burning through his mind now either, but he didn’t have to. Xian looked into his face and read it there, in the tension in his body and the rapid rise of his erection. “Of course I want you.”

In a second Rafael was sitting astride Xian’s thighs, facing him and clutching him, pouring his recovering energy and body and spirit into kissing him. Xian chuckled around his lips. “Passionate,” he murmured, “willful. Beautiful.” He opened his mouth and kissed back, and the wrought-iron walls around Rafael’s heart, already stressed and cracking, shattered into countless sizzling fragments that burned ecstatically as they dissolved into his body. He pressed their chests together, resenting the cloth between them even as he reveled in the closeness. Xian’s hands moved down his neck, across his shoulders, and splayed against his back, fingers seeking out healing welts and stroking them gently. Frissons of painful pleasure radiated up and down his spine, and Rafael knew he couldn’t think too closely about who was touching him or he’d shoot right away, like he had in the bath.

Xian knew, of course. He pulled back a little ways and stared into Rafael’s beseeching eyes. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you come, pet,” he said in a voice gone husky with desire. They had never done this before, but there had been times when Rafael hadn’t been able to keep himself from orgasm during a session in the high-ceilinged chamber. “Remind me of how it looks.” He slid his hands over Rafael’s abdomen and into the loose pants and touched him. Not tentatively but firmly, sure of what he sought, and all Rafael could do was give it to him.

The reality of Xian’s hands where Rafael had imagined them only hours ago swept over his nerves like fire, and he thrust forward into the channel they made with a hoarse groan, his forehead coming to rest against Xian’s. Once, twice and by the third thrust he was coming, crying out and screwing up his face against the long-anticipated wonder of it. He came fast and hard and heavy, and soon after he lay his head down on Xian’s shoulder, panting and shuddering through the aftershocks.

“So beautiful,” Xian whispered against his ear, kissing him there, raising his hands to gentle his trembling apprentice like he would a spooked animal, with long, soothing strokes. His fingers were wet with cum but neither of them cared. “And mine. You were always mine, pet, only mine. No matter whom you were with or what you did.”

“Yes,” Rafael managed. “Yes.”

“I want you now.”

“I’m for you.”

Xian chuckled. “So you told me long ago. All of you, all for me… You’re a feast, Rafael.” He lifted his head up and kissed him again on the mouth, more insistent now, more controlling. Rafael relaxed into his master’s embrace, the raw edge of his need smoothed over but his body still pleading to be taken. Owned. He wanted to be owned by Xian, consumed, wanted and needed in return. He wanted to feel Xian inside him.

They had never had sex before. Given Rafael’s nature his training had always carried a certain sensual edge, but Xian had never taken him and Rafael had never been bold enough to ask. He’d made do with fantasies, fed by every shared look and focused moment of attention Xian bestowed on him. Now he was with him, in his arms, and Xian was turning him onto his back on the soft comforter and kissing him possessively, and it was glorious. The rub of cloth against his abrasions was a goad to his pleasure but the feel of Xian’s skin after he stripped them both out of their house clothes was even better. Xian’s length was a hard, hot brand between his thighs, and the sheer rightness of it made Rafael moan with need.

“Yes,” he begged. “Yes. Please.” One hand left his body briefly and came back holding a small glass vial. Xian tipped the contents carelessly onto his hand and let it leak over his fingers—a thick, unscented oil. He reached down and pressed against Rafael’s entrance as his teeth nipped at his lip, then scraped a glowing red path down his neck to a hard nipple as his fingers pushed inside.

He could have slammed into Rafael completely dry and his apprentice would have been deliriously happy with it, but the fact that Xian was taking care with him now, giving him the sort of attention he had craved, was almost too much for him. He was completely hard again, and the touch of fingers against his prostate made him quiver with the need to come.

“Wait,” Xian murmured against his chest, his lips and teeth still busy, his hand still moving, stretching and twisting. “Wait until I tell you.”

Gods, wait? How could Rafael hold back the storm building inside him, two decades of desire given physical form? He could because he had to, he reminded himself. Because Xian had told him to wait, and he would do anything for him. He lay there writhing, suffering blissfully on the edge of completion and utterly content to do so.

Xian finally pulled his fingers back and raised his head again. Rafael lifted his hips, arching wantonly into Xian’s body, and his master smiled hungrily at him, then held him still and quickly plunged inside.

Rafael shuddered and caught his breath. It hurt, despite the preparation. Xian’s cock burned and he burned with it, all over, and it felt incredible. Xian didn’t move, just held his eyes as he adjusted to the sensation. His master’s lips were parted, his own breath coming fast and Rafael loved it, loved knowing it was because of him. Xian’s eyes were normally blank, expressionless due to the loss of their color, but Rafael could read the desire in them now.

“I love you,” he whispered, needing to say it again even though he was sure his lover wasn’t going to reciprocate.

“My Rafael…” Xian began to move, little more than an undulation at first but it grew quickly into lengthy thrusting. Rafael wrapped his legs around Xian’s waist and pulled him in with more force, slams that scraped over the sweet spot inside him and made him wail. He kept his hands on his master’s arms, unable to touch himself, knowing he would come the moment he did, and he couldn’t let that happen, not yet.

The speed and force grew, and the fight to control his body’s reaction escalated into an all-out war. Rafael gritted his teeth and forced himself to focus on the curve of Xian’s shoulder, the clean scent of his hair, the warm cloth against Rafael’s own back that was keeping his wounds deliciously raw. He could do this, control himself, he could, he could…

All of a sudden the space between them disappeared as Xian leaned in and claimed his mouth in a brutal kiss. He tasted blood staining his teeth but didn’t care, because now Xian’s body was pressing down on his cock, providing friction that was too perfect, too much, and Rafael thought he might go out of his mind. Then Xian jerked back and almost all the way out. “Come,” he ordered, and slammed back inside.

It felt so good to let go, the pleasure of obedience heightening the ecstasy in his body. Rafael threw his head back and came, the force of his orgasm bowing his whole body around Xian’s and tearing a scream from his throat. His fingers clenched raw furrows down the length of his master’s biceps as he clung to him, and the pleasure went on and on, relentlessly abolishing his ability to do anything other than feel and tremble with the strength of it.

Coming back to life with Xian holding him, kissing his face gently as hands rubbed soft circles over his pounding heart, was one of the sweetest things Rafael had ever experienced. He didn’t open his eyes, just slung limp arms and legs around his master and pulled himself closer. He was floating in a blissful haze, and the longer he could make it last the better. Xian was patient, and just held him and petted him for minute after minute until the glow diminished enough that Rafael felt capable of using his mind again.

“Mmm, more?” All right, the glow wasn’t that diminished.

“Soon,” Xian promised, a satisfaction Rafael had never heard before in his voice. He opened his eyes and tracked blearily until he found his master’s face. There was smugness and satiety and a tender regard that made Rafael want to crawl inside him and stay, basking in it forever. “After we affect an escape.”

Rafael struggled to bring his thoughts fully back into focus. “Via the roof?”

“Via the roof,” Xian agreed. “And soon. It’s near noon now, so the guards are hot and tired and there are no High Ones anywhere close to the light. It’s the best time for us to leave. I want to be on a boat heading to the mainland before the sun goes down.”

“You’ll be protected, right?” Rafael asked. “In that black outfit, the one that you wore when you captured me. It protects you from the sun, doesn’t it?”

“It does, although direct sunlight will still burn a bit. My eyes will be my most vulnerable part. If we can get to deep shadows within five minutes or so of surfacing, I should be able to avoid going blind. Temporarily blind,” he soothed as Rafael scowled. “I won’t have any problems healing for quite some time. Now.” He leaned in and kissed Rafael again, then sat up. “You need to dress and pack. And feel free to bathe again, pet, you could use it.”

“Thanks,” Rafael said dryly, but inside he was brimming with excitement. “Although there’s really nothing for me to pack. I lost all my equipment.”

“Your old things are still in your room. You may want some of them. I had your boots deposited there as well last night.” Xian stood up and walked over to a large wardrobe. He reached inside and lifted out the heavy, glistening black garment. “It will take me a while to seal myself up in this. Go on. I’ll join you soon.”

Rafael reluctantly lifted himself from the bed, cataloguing every tender spot and smiling like an idiot. Xian looked at him and laughed. He grinned in return, feeling lighter now than he had for the past five years. He stood up and moved to the door, taking a moment to brush his fingers over Xian’s naked back as he did so. His master returned the caress, and if time hadn’t been such a relentlessly pressing factor, Rafael would have taken him back to bed immediately, but he knew they had to move fast, damn it. Myrtea had said she would give them until sunset but Rafael trusted her exactly none, and it was her business to know secrets. Daeva was twisted proof of her effectiveness. Daeva… Rafael would have to deal with him in some way as well before they left, to ensure that he didn’t come after Feysal and his daughter Mina. His earlier assurances on the subject were next to worthless without Rafael around to force his cooperation.

Perhaps he was simply borrowing trouble. Escaping Clare might really be as simple as they had discussed.

Chapter Nine

It wasn’t. Not even close.

The preparations were straightforward. They planned their next step together, to leave the Upper City well before sunset, evading Myrtea and her elaborate schemes for their degradation. Once in the Lower City, they would find a place to secret themselves until nightfall, when Xian would be able to move more easily. Once it was safe, they would make their way to Little Heaven and Feysal. Feysal and Mina would have to be taken care of before Rafael could safely go after Daeva, and he certainly intended to do so. The snake would have to die before they could leave.

“Nothing vindictive in that at all,” Xian teased when Rafael brought it up. “I agree, in any case. You have access to him?”

“I can get it,” Rafael replied, watching his lover patiently wind strips of cloth around his arms. Rafael had already taken time for himself to prepare, bathing, rinsing away sweat and semen before slipping into fresh house clothes and padding back to his old, untouched room. He headed over to the chest and moved the books from it, then opened it up. The contents were a little dusty, but looked to be in good repair. There was a brace of his old throwing knives, as sharp as the day he’d left them, a small crossbow and quarrels and a matched pair of sabers. He picked one of them up and hefted it, remembering the feel of these swords in his hands, the ones he had used for years before his exile to the Lower City. It would be good to use them again.

There were several sets of working clothes in the trunk as well, still folded messily. Rafael grinned. Xian really hadn’t touched a thing. He pulled a set out—close-fitting tunic and trousers and a short cloak lined with small, secret pockets to hold the many tools of his trade. Rafael put the garments on. The tunic was a little tight across the shoulders, but nothing that would meaningfully impede his range of motion. His boots were right beside the bed, the cleanest thing in the room, and he retrieved them gratefully. By the time his weapons were in place, he felt completely normal again, if normal had ever contained this kind of contentment.

Once Rafael finished equipping himself, he rejoined his master. Xian was dressed and ready. He was completely covered by the black fabric, not an inch of skin below his chin exposed. Most of his torso was obscured by the heavy cloak that had caught and held the silver needles Rafael had tried to fill him with during their fight. He had a satchel tied close to his abdomen.

“Essentials,” he explained when Rafael’s eyes fixed on it. “Mostly money, for food and horses once we reach the mainland. Also some medicines and chemicals. But this.” He held out a small, tightly-stoppered metal cylinder to Rafael. “I want you to keep this.”

Rafael reached for it warily. “What is it?”

“Erran’s blood, pet. Enough to get us through an emergency if we run into trouble on our journey. Keep it safe otherwise, and whatever else, don’t let me take it from you.”

Rafael swallowed uncomfortably. “You wouldn’t do that.”

“I may try, before the end. There are handcuffs in the bag as well, which I’ll give over to you soon enough.” He smiled. “Don’t look so morose, Rafael. It’s better to have them and not need them, don’t you think?” The smile vanished abruptly and he turned his head to glare down the hall. “Ah… Now that is a bold move. Precipitous, though.”