Authors: Cindy Mezni
“I promise I’ll try to avoid it in the future,” I assured her softly.
And I hoped that was the last time I had to bother her with my inexplicable pain.
“Um,” Mary coughed against the horde of attendants, now including Gareth, present with us. “It’s not that I am not pleased that Deliah has many people who care about her, but I’d like to talk to her in private.”
Everyone went out, Garreth last, after trying to meet my eyes in vain. I didn’t want other incomprehensible visions or worse, fainting right in the middle of the infirmary.
“Now tell me what happened to you.”
“I...have migraines,” I blurted out, not seeing how to explain my situation otherwise, without her thinking I was fit for the asylum.
She nodded and gave me a sympathetic smile.
“How long have you had these headaches?”
Wishing to be free from my pain, I decided to give her all the elements that might be of interest to her.
“Uh... since a few days ago. Six or seven, I think. I have taken medication, but it doesn’t work. I would even say that the pain is worsening. And the more it increases, the weaker I get. In fact, it becomes unbearable.”
She had a pensive expression.
“Has it happened before? Do your headaches become more intense when you do something in particular, such as when you’re on the computer or reading?”
“No, it never happened to me before,” I replied, knowing it was a lie because I remembered all those times I felt the pain in my head after having these visions in Garreth’s presence. “And no, it has nothing to do with the computer or any other thing. It doesn’t affect my headache at all, actually.”
“Okay...well, I’ll give you something to relieve the pain. This is something quite powerful and it should offer you a little peace for a few hours, if not getting permanently rid of your headache. On the other hand, you should go see a specialist to find out where it comes from. Get advice from Dr. Langmann, he will surely give you some names.”
I nodded, even though I knew that I wouldn’t go see anyone. How could I explain that my problems were coming from strange and mysterious people, being related to me for an unknown reason?
She got up, picked up a box in the closet, always locked for security reasons, and eventually opened it before handing me a pill. I took it in my hand. She brought me a glass of water. I swallowed the drug and took a sip to swallow everything down. I offered her a smile. She gave me more pills for future migraines and I took them. Despite some doubts, I hoped the remedy would work. I was so scared that the suffering would continue.
I stood up and hurried to get out from the room when Mary called me. Holding a sigh, I spun around.
“Yes?”
Mary approached me and, once again, looked at me with a preoccupied expression. I was really starting to feel like a fragile little girl that everyone should worry about.
“What about your dizziness? At the beginning of the year, you fell unconscious and you came to see me several times.”
Delicate subject about which I couldn’t talk either. It was horrible to see that my life was now full of secrets and lies. I had to constantly pay attention to what I was saying if I didn’t want to end up in a straitjacket or worse, bring the wrath of Travis upon me.
“I haven’t experienced any more.”
“That’s a good thing.”
I stared at her, waiting for any sign that would tell me that we were done.
“Thankfully you have friends to take care of you,” she said, referring to the group that had led me here a few minutes ago.
“Yes, I’m lucky,” I approved, pressed to get out of there.
“Indeed. You’re especially fortunate to have found a new friend just as nice and attentive as Hayden is.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
Obviously, my damn curiosity returned when it was everything but wanted. Yet, deep in me, I felt that I would have done better not to ask questions about it.
“Well, I saw you had a new friend. This girl--probably the one that was there with Hayden and the two boys--who called to assure me you were back home, after your little incident the first day of school. This girl is charming and she seems to care about you a lot from what I could see. I’m glad you have people to rely on.”
What was she talking about? The first day of school? But I came back home alone that day! Leighton, because it could only be her she was talking about, wasn’t with me. I rummaged through my memory in search of something that could help me understand how Leighton could have ended up calling Mary to assure her that I was at home. In vain, for that day remained relatively obscure in my mind.
“I still don’t understand.”
I had to look really stupid but I didn’t care at the moment. I wanted to know, it was all that mattered.
“You don’t remember? I let you go, making you promise to call me as soon as you got home. You told me you were going to go home alone, but apparently this wasn’t the case because your friend called and told me that, once at home, you went directly to bed, which explained the fact she was calling for you.”
Was this a joke? I was almost certain that the events hadn’t unfolded like that. How the hell would Leighton have been at my home when I had just met her that day? It made no sense.
“You sure it wasn’t Annabelle?”
Maybe I asked my sister to call Mary to reassure her and considering my condition, I had forgotten it.
“It wasn’t your sister. Believe me, I recognize her voice when I hear it. She certainly wouldn’t have spoken to me as politely as your friend.”
I would have to talk to Leighton. As soon as possible.
“Oh, yeah...I remember now,” I stammered, pretending to remember.
At her face, it was easy to guess that I had no chance to act one day in a Hollywood movie. She seemed suddenly cautious again because of my pitiful lie.
“Don’t forget to make an appointment with a doctor for these migraines, okay?”
“Sure,” I hurried to reply. “I have to go now if I don’t want to be late for my next class. Thank you for everything.”
She brushed my thanks away with a vague hand gesture.
“You’re welcome,” she said with a bright smile. “This is my job. If I can do anything more, it will be with pleasure.”
I shook my head and turned around, ready to leave, when Mary interrupted me again.
“Deliah?” She called me and I had no choice but to face her again. “Really, if you have any concern, even if it’s not medical, you can come see me.”
I nodded so I could finally get out of there. I closed the door behind me and turned. I became almost immediately aware of the presence of Garreth, who was patiently waiting a little further down the hall. The scene reminded me of Travis waiting for me to threaten me and a thrill of terror ran through me. I felt the need to flee Garreth like never before. Unable to resist, I turned and took the direction opposite of where he stood. He obviously didn’t let me go quietly. Just a few moments later, he found himself in front of me to stop me in my tracks. I avoided his eyes, not wanting to risk feeling bad or seeing how he was affected by our situation.
“You’re going to keep ignoring me?” he asked me, visibly tired.
I tried to get around him but he firmly grabbed my arm. His action reminded me of his brother and I violently disengaged from his grasp.
“Don’t touch me!”
He backed away and stared at me in disbelief. I was acting strangely and because of that, I was hurting him--the exact thing I didn’t want to do, even if our relationship was complicated. In addition to that, my attitude might make him suspicious. Travis might even know that I had contact with his brother and sister.
“I’m sorry... I’m a little on edge lately.”
An understatement to say that I was going crazy and ballistic.
“I understand. I just...” He gave a sigh. “I just wanted to know how you were doing.”
“I’ve known better days but it’s going to be alright,” I said, unable to be indifferent to his concern for me.
However, I should have felt quite differently. He was responsible for my present misfortune, after all. Despite this, I couldn’t blame him because although my life was complicated because of his family, I was aware that my meeting with him and Leighton had allowed me not to drown in sadness and depression due the death of Tess.
“I...it’s complicated and difficult for me, all of this, you know.”
I frowned.
“I’m not sure I get it.”
“I mean...this situation...it’s really weighing on me and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Garreth...” I began, trying to prevent him from continuing.
He paid no attention to me and went on.
“I don’t want it this way, for you and me. I hate it and I want to fix things. I thought silence was the least disagreeable solution for me--for us--but in fact, it didn’t help considering how things turned out.”
I stared at him, wide-eyed. Was he saying what I thought? Was he going to explain everything to me?
“You’re gonna tell me more about yourself?”
I could hardly believe it and yet he nodded.
“I...”
But I was thrown off track at the sight of a silhouette over Garreth’s shoulder.
Travis...
Seeing me nonreactive, Garreth glanced behind him, where I was looking. Of course, Travis had vanished.
“Deliah?”
“I...I don’t want to know,” I let out suddenly. “You can keep your secrets.”
“What are you doing? I thought you wanted to know, that it was what prevented us to continue to see and talk to each other?”
My throat was completely dry. I could finally understand the meaning of all these oddities that inhabited my life. I could finally be able to be with Garreth and stay friends with Leighton. But Travis and his threats were always present in my head. Even if I had mentioned his threats to Garreth, I wasn’t sure he would have believed me. It was his brother. And more importantly, I didn’t want to set them against each other, as bad as Travis was because Garreth deserved to keep his sister and brother beside him, after what had happened to their parents.
“It seems that in the end, the problem is my feelings for you. Or more accurately, my lack of feelings for you,” I finally said.
It might be the most ridiculous lie that I ever uttered, but Garreth seemed to believe it, given the way his face became expressionless. I couldn’t imagine how I had hurt him. No doubt he felt the same pain that I inflicted on myself by saying that.
Garreth stared at me for a long time, his face betraying nothing, then he turned without a word. I was convinced that henceforth, it wasn’t me who was going to act as if the other didn’t exist, it would be him.
There, alone in the deserted corridor, it was as if I was reliving the terrible pain caused by the death of Tess. Only this time, I doubt that someone would come to get me out of my misery. Unable to face anyone after what had happened, I left the school in a hurry to get home and be as alone as I felt.
11
Barriers
For several hours already, it felt as if dozens of people were hitting my head with a hammer. I stayed there, lying down, unable to move, hoping that this torture would stop by any means.
“Deliah! Stop acting so childishly! Come down right now!”
Of course, Annabelle felt obliged to scream for twenty minutes, instead of coming upstairs to see what was going on with me.
Why does it have to be today of all the days that she cares a little bit about me?
“Enough is enough, Deliah!” I heard her say before brutally opening the door.
The sound of the door banging against the wall echoed painfully in my head. On the threshold, Annabelle scanned my room. I saw the surprise on her face at the disorder that reigned between Tess’s history books, the drawings I had done and my laptop on the floor of my room. When I returned from high school, despite Travis’s threats, I couldn’t help but to immerse myself in my research about their family. This was unsuccessful because I couldn’t find anything about these chimera makers. At least, I succeeded in avoiding thinking about what had happened with Garreth. As long as Travis didn’t know I continued to look for information, I risked nothing.
“What happened here? You’re always so ordered. A real neat freak.”
“I’m sick,” I replied weakly, hoping she would leave, in case I’d be contagious or just by sheer disinterest.
“Of course and when you’re sick, you make such a mess in your room?” she said, her tone full of sarcasm. “Stop taking me for an idiot.”
She was obviously determined to blight my existence, for a change. I wasn’t in the mood for another fight between the two of us.
“I was working on my homework when I felt bad, that’s why I didn’t tidy up.”
“Your homework, you say?” she told me, lifting the pile of sheets on which I had drawn.
They were for the most part scenes, kind of fragments of memories, which had appeared to me lately. I put the most incomprehensible on paper as to not forget them and try to figure out everything. It hadn’t worked. Annabelle looked at the drawings, one by one. I rose to a seated position and she put one of the drawings representing the black beast and raven with their ominous eyes and expression on my bed.
“You draw...strange things. Should I be worried?”
I pinched my lips, calling on all of my self-control not to let my annoyance win over. Damn her for having delved into these very personal sketches. Annabelle’s face suddenly became pale. She dropped a sheet before me representing the location with magical aspects that I had once seen in a dream, the same one in which Garreth appeared and strangled me.
“Where did you find this?” she repeated through clenched teeth.
My sister was barely restraining herself, ready to explode, and I didn’t understand why.
“I just did it.”
“Liar!” she exclaimed, grabbing the drawing before waving it under my nose. “This is a drawing made by our father. It was he who did it. He drew it in front of me. But it can no longer exist because our
dear grandmother
,” she pronounced the words with as much venom as possible, “had burned it ‘accidentally’ with all his other drawings.”