Shadow's Dangers (7 page)

“How long have you been waiting in that chair?”

His answer didn’t matter to me. I just needed to cut the silence that I found weighing on me under the clear, green gaze of my observer. I also wanted to avoid rambling on if that were humanly possible. Maybe my concern with them was that they so reminded me of everything wrong in my own life. I only pretended that everything was fine, concealing the truth, building myself a mask to appear as normal as possible and try to go through life without a hitch.

“I didn’t really pay attention.”

Suddenly, the time he had been watching me...perhaps violating my privacy by rummaging through my room while I was sleeping...worried me. I held a bitter laugh. I was becoming paranoid. As if someone wanted to know about my mundane and uninteresting life. The oppressive silence came galloping back, bringing a feeling of uneasiness, and I thought desperately for something to say.

“I’m sorry.”

It was not the smartest thing I could have said, but hey, I was going to go with it.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry for the so-called “tutoring.” Everyone got you involved in this... I really didn’t want to anger you.”

He shook his head carelessly. “You didn’t do anything,” he countered. “Travis and Leighton like to annoy me more than necessary. And again, they succeeded. My tantrum was not directed against you, I assure you.”

For the first time in his company, I smiled. We were on the path of progress. I hadn’t even fainted or anything close, and now Garreth managed to make me feel something other than annoyance or wanting to flee.

“Can I ask you a question?”

I nodded.

“Why did you faint?” he continued.

I would have done better to abstain.
In the future, always say no to this kind of request,
I swore to myself.

“I don’t know,” I replied a little too quickly. The only thing I knew was that he had been the trigger for my two episodes, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

“It happens to you often?”

He seemed genuinely concerned. I pinched my lips together. It would be difficult to hide the truth because if he continued, and considering my almost non-existent talent for a lie, he would soon discover everything.

“No.”

“How long have you had these moments of absence and these blackouts?”

Damn, he was really stubborn! Worse than me and yet I didn’t believe it possible.
Lie, lie, lie,
I repeated like a mantra.

“Since...,” I began, extremely uncomfortable.

“Since?” he encouraged me to go on.

But too late. I couldn’t lie. If I did, he would soon guess what really happened anyway. I closed my eyes and pronounced:

“Since I...”

“Since you saw me,” he finished for me.

I opened my eyes and watched. Put that way, it sounded as if I was a hopeless romantic and he was so charming that I couldn’t resist, yet that wasn’t it at all and I hoped he knew it. I watched for any reaction on his part. He said nothing but his face paled, which immediately worried me. Certainly, the idea that he pleases me couldn’t put him in such a state, could it?

“Are you okay?”

He stared at me and the worry in his eyes reminded me of the picture I had seen in the cafeteria, the one where I could see his face and green eyes, anxious, amidst all the chaos that I had no memory of. Frustrated, I searched through my mind, wanting to know if all this was real or just a figment of my disrupted brain since the death of Tess.

The pain was suddenly so intense in my head that I let out a complaint. Garreth seemed even more alarmed. He took a step in my direction before stopping and running a hand through his hair, his jaw clenched.

And suddenly, he walked away to the other end of the room and turned his back. I watched with incomprehension. Lost and frustrated by this, I was ready to ask him what disturbed him and also tell him about this incomprehensible and fuzzy memory. Even if he thought that I was crazy and it was only my imagination. But the words remained stuck in my throat when he took a small object in his hands. His cellphone. I heard him talking to someone, but it was not English, or any language I had heard before. He turned after a time and, seeing me so attentive to his conversation, put an end to it before replacing his phone in his pocket. He smiled at me, his expression now different.

“Leighton is coming,” he told me in a flat voice. I swallowed hard. If he left now, it was because he had come to a conclusion and he didn’t like it. Did he really believe me silly and frivolous to the point that I could faint because of his beauty? Or did he know something about those damn scenes that I saw as if they were taking place in front of my eyes? And if so, why did he not speak to me about it rather than choose to leave?

He gave me a nod and left the room without a word, before I had time to open my mouth. I heard the front door slam violently, indicating he was angry. Just like he was this morning. And once again, I was the cause of his bad mood.

I cursed those nightmares, the visions, my entire existence that had gone so wrong. What was wrong with me? And why was it that all these strange things were happening now, when my life was complicated enough with the death of Tess?

Fortunately, it wasn’t long before Leighton came into my room like a tornado. She literally threw herself on my bed and held me in her arms. She was worried. However, she quickly flashed me a dazzling smile.

“You gave me such a fright!” she exclaimed in a tone full of anxiety, contrasting with her expression. “Don’t ever do that to me again!”

I nodded. She could be reassured. I wasn’t planning to faint any time soon. And seeing the reaction of Garreth when I told him, there was no doubt that I would have no further opportunity to recross the object of my “crises.”

“How do you feel?”

“Good,” I replied immediately.

I didn’t want her to worry more. I was fine now. She sighed, as if relieved of a great weight. As if she had known me forever and she was really worried about me, instead of almost knowing nothing about me. Her concern, though disturbing because I didn’t want her to worry, touched me deeply. She loosened her grip and affectionately replaced a few strands of my hair. I gave her a smile that I wished looked soothing.

“So, my brother makes your head spin, huh?” she said, laughing.

I noticed with dismay that she did not speak of my fainting. She only talked about the fact that supposedly, I had a crush on her brother. Which was wrong. Yes, he was beautiful, but anyone would agree with that. And, apart from the physical, there was nothing that made me want to go out with him. My instinct felt the danger emanating from him and he was too strange and fickle for my taste.

“I...What do you mean?”

She laughed in response.

“As if you didn’t know,” she replied before taking her face in her hands and putting on a smug expression that was probably a grotesque imitation of me in front of Garreth. “Oh, my God, Garreth, you’re so beautiful you make me swoon!”

“Ha, ha, ha!” I replied, not at all amused.

“Your feelings are transparent, my dear.”

I rolled my eyes. This was absurd.

“I must admit that I’ve never seen someone act quite like you. I’ve seen Garreth make an impression on many representatives of the fairer sex, and also Travis, but this is a first! Faint before him. No one has ever gone so far! If Garreth gets big headed, I hold you solely responsible for it,” she warned me, falsely severe.

In my opinion, he did not need me to have a swollen head, his ego was already oversized enough.

“Are you done?” I asked, losing patience with her insinuations, before I left my bed.

“Not really, I want you to admit it.”

I glared at her. There was nothing to say because there was nothing to admit, good God! Moreover, even if the situation wasn’t so complex, how could it be otherwise? I’ve known her brother for two days! Nobody developed feelings for someone in so little time!

“I don’t see why I should admit something totally false, absurd, and fanciful.”

She got up too and came to stand before me. She dipped her extraordinary blue eyes to mine. I was sure my eyes must not even compare to hers. And yet, I had been told many times that my pale gray eyes, changing to dark gray like stormy days, were impressive to see.

“Don’t take me for an idiot” she said firmly.

The radical change in her attitude made me shiver. She could be scary when she wanted to be. In addition, to see her like that was somewhat unpleasant. This girl was manipulating people’s emotions like nobody else. Obediently, I gave up and told her what she wanted to hear.

“Your brother is something special and I fainted in front of him. Is that good? You’re happy now?”

Suddenly, she resumed her usual cheerful air and seemed on the verge of bouncing around to show her happiness.

“I knew it, I knew it, I knew it,” she intoned with her melodious voice. “Isn’t it beautiful? We will soon be like two sisters-in-law!”

What?
She took my hands in the vise of her own and gently made me swirl and wiggle in all directions with her. Nausea quickly showed up.

“I’m gonna throw up,” I declared while running to the adjoining bathroom to my room.

I barely had time to lift the lid of the toilet before the almost non-existent contents of my stomach poured out.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” Leighton cried, really repentant, when she came to join me.

She held my hair while I stood leaning over the toilet, not sure if the discomfort was over. When I was certain I was better, I slid to the ground, completely exhausted. My friend was in charge of flushing, closing the lid and bringing me a glass of water and a slightly damp towel. She sat beside me, her face saddened by the poor vision that I offered.

“I’m an idiot. I didn’t think about you having passed out only a few hours ago. Damn, I can be giddy sometimes!”

She didn’t have to blame herself for that. It was just a minor incident. It happened.

“It’s nothing.”

She gave me wide eyes, looking disapprovingly at me.

“It’s not nothing,” she objected, furious against herself. “Look at you, you’re as white as death itself.”

The blood left my face when I heard the old expression. Tess used to repeat it when I was a child. I was anemic and I constantly refused to take my treatment. I was always difficult when drugs came into play. That’s what Tess would say, telling me that I couldn’t go out if I stayed like this, because people would scream when they saw me, believing they were in front of a dead person. So I resigned myself each time to take my pills. Those memories overburdened me even more.

“Deliah? Are you still with me?” Leighton worried at my lack of response.

“Yes...”

Past memories crowded my head. I wished I could get rid of them, if only for a little while. Unfortunately, I knew that it was impossible. I had to live with all those happy memories in a world that seemed alien, dull and uninteresting, now. Without Tess. Without my parents. With a sister who hated me. With no one I could confide everything I felt. Not even Hayden because there were some things she wasn’t able to understand, like my dreams and visions. But even if there were limits to her understanding, in my misery, I still considered myself lucky to have a friend like her, so loving and soothing when everything seemed to go wrong in my life.

“You seem like you’re in bad shape.”

I looked at Leighton, hating to be a concern for her.

“You...”

No sooner had she started her sentence when my sister opened the door of my room, without even having the decency to knock first. I felt a wave of irritation. It was my space, my haven, here, in this room. Her gaze scanned the room until she saw us, both sitting on the floor of my bathroom. Immediately, she honored us with her usual haughty sneer.

“I think Deliah’s had enough visits for today,” she said in a sharp tone to Leighton.

She didn’t even bother to be polite. Leighton gave me a disappointed pout then rose gracefully. She held out her hand to help me to my feet, help that I accepted. Then I noticed that she seemed deeply annoyed. A first. Leighton hugged me one last time and walked away. She told me before leaving the room:

“Tomorrow morning, we’ll come get you. Be in front of your house at the same time as today. And prepare yourself to the idea that, starting tomorrow, it will be like that every day.”

She looked at me with a radiant face before disappearing, satisfied, like she said it on purpose in front of my sister. As if she guessed that Annabelle wouldn’t like it, which was the case judging by the upset expression Annabelle wore. A kind of personal revenge for the appalling way my sister had received her. Revenge for me too, somehow. I smiled in my heart.

The pleasure was short-lived because I suddenly realized what Leighton’s words really meant. Starting tomorrow, I was going to ride to school along with Leighton. Every morning I would find myself in the same car as the boy who gave me inexplicable crises. The same boy that left thinking I had a stupid crush on him, an idea that apparently revolted him. Not to mention the second brother I didn’t like any more than he liked me. Suffice it to say that I was afraid of what might happen again in the presence of the Wates tomorrow.

5

Hasty Departure

The weeks passed and each was similar to the one before. Always the same activities, always the same faces. And still, this eternal struggle against pain due to the loss of Tess, the acceptance of a routine without interest, and a future that I didn’t know what I wanted to do with. In short, always the same old song. In repeat mode.

Morning and evening, I argued with Anna. She consistently did her best to get on my nerves. And more than ever before, she succeeded. We came to the point where I preferred to be at school than home.

Unfortunately, the uncomfortable routine was not limited to Annabelle. There was the long, daily ride of a quarter of an hour to get to and from school.

The early morning was the embarrassing moment of the day. Garreth kept up common courtesies and I did the same, slightly hurt by his behavior towards me. Travis often threw me dirty looks when Leighton was taking the Deliah path and began talking about my life. Apparently, the sister had the absurd idea of me being a couple with her dark-haired brother. One day, she even said straight out that the two of us would make a good pair and he reacted immediately, saying that scenario was not likely to happen. I almost burst out with anger on the spot. After all, he may not like me, but he didn’t have to express it so clearly.