Shadows May Fall (13 page)

“Lou, my SUV wasn’t on the allowed connections list, that’s why it was locking you out.” Dillon informed her right away. “Niko is having Connor fix it now.”

“Oh, okay. That makes sense to me.” Lou new they had a security protocol that was tighter than the pentagon, so it was plausible. “Thanks for clearing that up.”

“You bet.” Dillon smiled.

“Sorry I took so long. I was making contact with BHPD and digging up what I could on our players so far.” Lou explained and handed Dillon the data on Hunny and the Medina info to Caroline. “Niko, can I have a word with you a moment?”

“Sure, let me shut this down.” He hit a few keys then set the laptop on the coffee table. “Can I get anyone a blond while I’m up? A Redhead?”

“I’m partial to brunettes.” Caroline winked at him.

Niko smirked. “One cold brunette, coming right up.”

“I’m good.” Dillon answered. “Thank you though.”

Niko nodded, then headed to the kitchen with Lou. He had thought long and hard about what he was going to say to her, despite what the others had all agreed they would say. He played it cool, though, heading straight for the refrigerator to grab the beers.

“Tell me what is going on and do not say nothing.” Lou warned him. “I can feel it in my gut. I know something is wrong. Where is Max?”

Niko popped the caps on the beers and eyed her warily. “Let me get this to Caroline first.” He walked out and returned a few seconds later. “Max needed to get away for a day or two. Maybe more.”

“Why?” Lou felt her heart catch in her throat. “Did I do something wrong?”

“That depends on who you ask.” Niko had counted on her asking if it had to do with her. He saw her face go pale at his response, which is what he had hoped.

“What..” She sat down at the counter. “What did I do?”

“You were born.” Niko stated bluntly as he sat down next to her. “The same way he was born. Then he walked past you that day in the morgue and nothing has ever been the same.” He waited a moment to let her process what he said.

“How the hell do you know about that?” Lou was horrified.

“Because the same thing was happening to him in that hall at the exact same moment.” Niko got up and stepped out onto the back patio to light a cigarette. “I’m not going to get into how I know. The point is I know about you, I know about him and for some stupid ass reason, neither the twain shall meet!”

“Caroline!!” Lou shouted through the house.

“Lou, stop!” Niko almost walked inside while smoking.

“I will not stop!” She was clearly unraveling.

“What’s wrong?” Caroline asked as she flew in the room.

“Did you tell Niko about the morgue?” Lou demanded an answer.

“About what?” Caroline was in a precarious situation.

“She’s asking about when they crossed paths in the morgue.” Niko clarified. “And you overheard Abby, Frank and I talking at the hotel.

“Oh shite.” Caroline sank into one of the stools.

“Oh shite?” Lou was horrified. “You told him?! How could you?!”

“Lou!” Niko yelled at her. “Stop!”

“Oh my God, I will not stop!” She sat on the ground right where she stood. Mortified.

“Is that your take away from what I told you?” He was really getting sick of her and Max’s foolishness.

“Oh my shit, please tell me you didn’t tell Max?!” Lou was totally missing it.

“I am not doing this if you are not going to hear me.” Niko was livid. He crushed his cigarette out in his hand and headed out back.

“Niko!” Lou screamed and chased after him. “Don’t you dare walk away from me!”

“Why not, Lou?” He spun around and stood over her. “There’s a shitload more going on here than your embarrassment! Max is gone, if you hadn’t noticed. Pull your head out and listen for a change!” He had never yelled at her before. The rage in his eyes was frightening, as if he wasn’t normally an intimidating man, this set her back on her heals.

“I’m listening.” She said meekly.

“Did you completely miss the part where I said Max had the same reaction towards you?” Niko stared down and resisted the urge to throttle her.

“What?” Lou blinked several times.

“I realize the both of you have serious baggage as far as matters of the heart, but you both are in denial and everyone, and I do mean everyone, can see that you two are crazy bout each other! But you’re too proud or chicken shit, I don’t know what it is!” He took a seat in one of the patio chairs and calmed himself a moment.

“I only told them because I overheard Frank telling Abby about how Max had gone irrational over you as well.” Caroline said as she leaned in the doorway. “We all made a pact to stay out of it but help nudge where we could.”

“This denial thing is getting in the way of both your brains!” Niko explained. “He thinks his feelings for you are distracting him, that he’s to blame for all the things going awry under his watch.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Lou still hadn’t grasped the part that Max cared for her too; she just felt horrible that she was the source of him being upset. “Aside from him being super kind and considerate, he hasn’t made any advances at all! No clues whatsoever that he has feelings for me! How the hell could he have feelings for me? I am so nothing!”

“You are an idiot.” Niko was too annoyed to sugar coat anything.

“That’s beside the point!” Lou protested.

“No, it is the heart of the point!” He corrected her. “But the fact that you don’t know the man the way we do, I can’t blame you for being dumb about it. Max doesn’t personally deal with anyone if he can avoid it. He sure as hell doesn’t toss all protocol aside and run headlong into a sword fight! He vets prospective indoctrinees for months and months, and he really would never fly half way around the world and back to make a birthday party or give someone puppies!”

“I thought he was just being kind, so I wouldn’t screw things up.” Lou realized she didn’t know Max as well as she should. That revelation only made her fear how far she could fall for the man as if she wasn’t lost already. “Niko, he could have any woman on the planet drop at his feet. I’m just a beat up klutz of a cop. I’m no beauty queen or sophisticated intellectualite!”

“No, your not.” Niko snorted. “Your a pain in the ass just like he is. I am going against strict orders telling you this too so you need to get a grip!”

“What orders? What is going on?!” Lou tried to get a grip, as Niko demanded, but it was getting harder with every second.

“Like I said, he feels like he’s letting his emotions for you interfere with his duties. That his lack of focus is the cause of the mess out here, he forgot something that happened ages ago, and it honestly didn’t make a difference that he forgot.” Niko blew out a breath.

“Wait a second.” Lou was processing things a little better now. “The whole mess with the previous Principate and the agents that you cleared out? He’s blaming himself for that because of his feelings for me?” Lou asked specifics.

“Yes, and a few other things.” Niko confirmed.

“Well, that’s just flat wrong!” She exclaimed.

“No shit, Sherlock!” Niko scoffed.

“No! You’re missing it!” Lou realized the irony in the statement as soon as she said it. “Gilroy and the other asshats were screwing off way before! Max didn’t even know I existed when you guys came out here! So how can he blame me?”

“He’s not blaming you. He’s blaming his irrational feelings for you.” Caroline restated Niko’s point.

“But that in itself is irrational because I was nowhere in his life when all that crap happened.” Lou felt a bit of relief.

“Again, you’re missing the point. Caroline, grab me my beer I left on the counter, please.” Niko needed the entire six-pack at that point. “You both are not thinking right. You’re blaming everything that is going awry on these new and unexpected feeling when they are not your fault at all. Which in itself is irrational, so all of it is!” Caroline came out and handed Niko his beer then took a seat next to him. “No matter how any of us dance around and hint that you care for him too, he blows it off as impossible. Just like you are doing now when we tell you that he cares for you.”

Caroline took the opportunity to weigh in. “It’s a frustrating situation for us because we have tried to stay out of it as best as possible. Lou, as your best friend I have been telling you this for weeks now!” Caroline had used every chance to push Lou in the right direction, without coming out and spilling the beans entirely.

“Well, shit.” Lou grabbed Niko’s beer and drank half of it in one gulp before returning it. “What the hell do I do? Why did he leave? Where did he go? What does he think leaving will accomplish?”

“He thinks he can clear his head by removing himself from the situation. Personally, I think he’s trying to bury his feelings and go all stone-heart again.” Niko sighed then finished off the beer.

“So he doesn’t want to care about me?” Lou felt her heart crack.

“Not if you don’t care back!” It was Caroline that yelled now. “You gotta do something, so he knows you feel the same!”

“But what if that ruins everything?” There were so many unknown variables that scared the hell out of her. “What if he realizes I am just an ass and can’t get away from me fast enough?” Both Niko and Caroline looked at her like she was smoking crack.

“All right, I’m sticking my nose in this whether you like it or not.” Dillon informed them as he walked outside. “I’ve only been around a short time, and these guys haven’t said word one to me about what’s going on. So I feel like my unbiased opinion has some weight here.”

Lou wondered if she should call the rest of the gang for a group intervention while they were at it. “Sure! I’ll take any help I can get at this point.”

“I wasn’t around when you first met.” Dillon began his monolog. “I only heard about our Dominor, his reputation, and then just a little about you but what I did know was what made me beg Abby to come and help. I begged her to get me in the running as your partner somehow, but I would earn the spot on my own merits. Mind you I had not met our Dom until that night here at the house and let me tell you he grilled me like a fish when he learned who I was. I was shaking in my boots! When he informed me of his personal expectations of me as your partner, that was nerve-wracking. I knew after the second sentence out of his mouth that the man was in love with you and that my existence on the face of this earth depended on my protecting you. It was not about your looks, which, may I remind you how messed up you have been on a regular basis since I landed here?”

“Please don’t.” Lou cringed when she thought about it.

“Maximilian Julian is an exceptionally powerful man of substance. He is not taken in by superficial things, glitz, fashionista runway bullshit.” Dillon took a seat across from them before he continued. “He sees who you truly are. An amazingly audacious and fearless woman with integrity and kindness that most people will never have a fraction of.”

“You are so full of crap.” Lou felt her eyes misting.

“He’s isn’t though.” Niko corrected her again. “He’s spot on and whether you like it or not, that is what Max sees, and loves. Frankly, I can’t blame him. I mean I love you too but not like that. Like a little sister.”

Lou laughed and cried. “So what do I do?”

“Well hell, I’d plant one smack on his lips the next time you see his ass!” Caroline suggested.

“Caroline!” Lou was appalled.

“That would work for you, Caroline, but not for Lou.” Niko grinned. “I’m not sure, Lou. You need to find your way. Direct, no fuss, no muss the way you handle everything.”

“Sweetie...” Caroline took a more serious tone. “I know that those moments have happened where you feel that surge in your chest and you have thought ‘
Just say it! Get it over with
!’ but your logic gets the better of you and you don’t. Right? Tell me you haven’t had one of those moments with him?”

Lou could think of a dozen instances right off the top. “The day after my party, at the lake.”

“Right!” Caroline clapped her hands in excitement. “So the next time that happens you do it! Don’t think, just do whatever your gut is telling you to do or say! Rip that bandage right off and get it out there!”

“Let me get rid of some of those fears of ‘what if’ for you.” Niko grabbed her by the hand. “We are not leaving. He is not going to run away screaming, get that out of your head. He is not going to have Frank wipe your memory so that he doesn’t have to respond. The worst thing that might happen is precisely what’s going on now! You two avoiding each other, so you don’t have to deal with it.

“Actually...” Dillon butted in again. “If I may make one suggestion?”

“Please!” Lou insisted.

“Tell him, and then leave.” Dillon’s short, but sweet, suggestion made them all stop and think. “I don’t mean forever! Leave the room, or the immediate area after you tell him. So that you don’t have any expectation of a response and he has time to digest it, think about it and act appropriately.”

“Genius.” Niko agreed. “Max is a thinker; he doesn’t have a hair trigger.” Niko paused a second. “Well to anything but where you’re concerned, that is.”

“Let’s keep it supportive, Niko!” Caroline warned.

“Yeah, okay. Dilbert is right, though! Say what you have to say then walk out. That way you won’t chicken out, or over do it and you give him time to process things and then the ball in his court! You’re off the hook.”

“Off the hook of what?” Lou didn’t quite understand, nor should she. She didn’t know what had been going on in the other camp and Niko was not exactly going to betray Max any further by telling her.

“Off the hook for any mixed signals or ambiguity. He can’t use you as an excuse for waffling.” Niko tried to articulate as best as he could.

Lou looked like she was going to throw up and didn’t say anything for what seemed like an eternity to them. “So what’s the worst thing that could happen? He behaves just exactly as he has and we get on with our lives, right? At least then I would know and could move on.”

“Right!” Caroline agreed. “But darlin’ we all know that ain’t gonna be what happens.”

“No?” Lou couldn’t think of anything else happening but that.