shaede assassin 05 - shadows at midnight (28 page)

“They don’t own me.” Anger flashed in his gaze. A chill of power raced along my flesh and I shivered.

“Maybe not,” I said. “But they’re doing their damnedest to make you think that they do.”

I was mourning the loss of something I’d never had and wasn’t even sure that I wanted. My emotions swung on a pendulum. I’d been through a hell of a lot in the past month and instead of things slowing down, everything around me seemed to be speeding up. I didn’t want to think about what I did or didn’t have, or what might or might not happen. Not tonight. I simply wanted to feel loved. Cherished. I wanted the comfort of Ty’s arms around me. I wanted to feel as though there was a place for me in this world.

I wanted to feel safe.

“Merrick is denying responsibility for what happened to your building,” Ty said against my temple.

“Do you believe him?”

“I’m not sure.” Ty guided me toward the couch and settled down before pulling me down beside him. He tucked my back against his broad chest and I let my head rest on his shoulder. “So far the Synod have been upfront with me and their intentions. It’s not in Merrick’s nature to be subversive.” He gave a low laugh. “Underhandedness isn’t logical.”

It figured the head of the Synod would have the nature of a Vulcan. Spock’s long-lost brother, perhaps? I didn’t know Merrick well, but I agreed with Ty. He’d been nothing but upfront with me. Something as sneaky as blowing up my apartment didn’t compute.

“I told Raif that I thought it could’ve been retribution for killing Mithras. Care to weigh in?”

“Hmmm.” Ty wrapped his arms around me and let out a slow breath. “It’s a possibility. Probably the best theory so far.”

Great. So not only did I have a
Délash
stalking me, I know had a dead god’s acolytes to worry about? “I think it might be time to dig up my roots.” Even thinking of leaving Seattle made me want to throw up. “I’ve gained too much visibility in the past couple of years and it’s not doing me any favors.”

“Wherever you go, I’ll follow,” Ty murmured. “Just say the word.”

Leaving Seattle after living here for a hundred years would suck, but it wouldn’t kill me. Tyler was my home. If I had him, I had everything I needed. “I hear L.A. has a lot to offer an ambitious assassin…”

“Not a soccer mom?” Ty teased.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” I didn’t want to discuss my feelings any more tonight. Not when the domestic image of Xander and Anya still burned so brightly in my mind.

Ty let out a slow sigh. “I guess there’s no use in avoiding it any longer, is there?”

No. Avoidance wasn’t something either of us could afford anymore.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Minutes passed in companionable silence. I absorbed every peaceful second of it and for a while, I could pretend as though all of the problems in my life didn’t exist. I could imagine that Xander was still his haughty, overbearing self. That Saben’s rebellion wasn’t causing Asher to leave me behind while he took care of business. I could let myself believe that Ty and I were living a quiet life free from intrusion and suspicion. And that my ring was simply a ring. A pretty piece of metal that I wore to remind me of the man who’d given it to me.

Too bad reality had to rain on my parade.

 “I thought it would be easier to talk to you about this,” Ty said quietly. I snuggled in closer to him. “Maybe it would be easier if you asked the questions and I answered them.”

He’d just given me carte blanche to a cache of information. It should have thrilled and satisfied me. Instead, it scared me to death. Mr. Wu had made the decision to keep this knowledge from me. Had he been right to keep Ty’s secrets a secret? “I’m afraid of the answers,” I murmured.

He gave a nervous laugh. “I’m afraid to give them to you.”

“What happened between you and Xander in the labyrinth?” I figured I could start small, with things that were relatively inconsequential and work my way up.

“Well, we sure as hell didn’t bond over the experience,” Ty said. Maybe he was just as relieved as me to be starting off small. His voice lost a lot of its tension as he reached up to thread his fingers through my hair. “Padma gave Xander a ransom note. Told him where the entrance to the labyrinth was and said that if he could make it through, and traded himself for you, that you could go free. I don’t think she planned on him bringing anyone as back up. She probably planned on him dying in the tunnels.”

That she’d led them into a trap caused my anger to flare hot and fresh. But then I reminded myself that my blade had taken her life. She’d paid for what she’d done to us.

“I wasn’t interested in screwing around. I needed to get to you ASAP. The illusions got to Xander early and it was obvious that Padma was using your relationship with him to get under his skin. The more he rambled, the more I realized that he really was in love with you. I almost let the goblins have him, but since he was my key to getting you out of there, I did what I could to clear his mind and I decimated the goblins before they could do any damage.”

“With a burst of bright light?” I ventured.

“Pretty much. My power made him nervous. He called it ‘unnatural.’ We argued, baited each other, pretty much what you’d expect. He accused me of putting you in danger and I accused him of the same.”

“Xander said you stole something,” I said. “And that’s why the Synod is angry with you.”

Tyler sighed. “I let it slip. I shouldn’t have. Yes. I stole something from the Synod. Something that belonged to
me
. Something they have no right to. That’s why Merrick is here. The
Délash
sensed it. And now Merrick knows that you have it.”

“
Nys’Asdar
,” I said.

I felt Tyler nod behind me.

A ripple of anxiety crested over me and I took a few deep breaths to slow my racing heart. I wanted—needed—to know what my ring was, but I was afraid to hear the truth. “Tyler, is it true that you’re omnipotent?”

He answered me after a moment of silence. “Yes.”

“Are you a god?”

Another space of quiet stretched between us. “Yes.”

Jesus.

“The Jinn are the first gods. The oldest gods. We have roamed the earth for eons and our power is infinite.”

He tensed as though worried I’d pull away. Not gonna lie, I was pretty fucking shocked—and maybe a little scared—but I would never turn my back on him. Ever. My mind spun with the possibilities of what Ty was capable of. He’d told Padma he should have decimated her entire race. He could’ve done it. Could have wiped the Rakshasa from the face of the earth.

“Unchecked power is a dangerous thing.” He’d said as much to me before and I agreed with him. In the wrong hands, omnipotence could be catastrophic. “The Jinn knew this and sought to achieve balance by controlling that infinite power. Each and every one of us has forfeit a piece of our souls, and in doing so, we’ve imposed upon ourselves limitations.”

The rules. Jinn were big on rules and not breaking them. Now I knew why. “What did you do, Tyler?”

He continued to stroke my hair and pleasant shivers of sensation danced over my skin. “I took back what belonged to me. Took back the power—that piece of my soul—I’d been forced to relinquish.” His lips touched the crown of my head and he whispered, “And I gave it to you.”

No wonder the Synod was upset with Tyler. By stealing that part of his soul, he’d literally made himself the most powerful creature on the face of the earth.

“I told you that our bond is special. The first time I touched you, the moment the bond was made, it nearly brought me to my knees. Your soul was unlike any other I’d ever encountered. It burned so bright it blinded me. I loved you in an instant. And because of the bond, the way your soul called out desperately for mine, I knew that the road ahead of you would be dangerous. Deadly. I saw the path you’d be set on and there wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it. The prospect of not being able to protect you laid me low. And so I did the only thing I thought I could do. I armed you with a sliver of my power and prayed that it would be enough to keep you safe when I couldn’t.”

Tears sprang to my eyes. He’d made the ultimate sacrifice for me. Violated every law that had ever governed him. Out of love. No one had
ever
loved another person as fiercely as Tyler loved me. That, and not the part of Tyler’s soul embedded in my ring was the most powerful thing I’d ever felt. That love was infinite, and nothing—
no one
—could ever diminish it.

“Tyler.” I turned in his embrace to face him. I wanted to look into the depths of his eyes when I said the words so he’d know the truth of them. “I was dead until I met you. You gave me life. Hope. And I love you so much that there aren’t words to express it.”

“I know, Darian.” He kissed my mouth, the brush as soft as a butterfly’s wings. “Believe me, I know.”

“What do we do now?” There was nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. We could run to
O Anel
, hide in the faery realm. But what would stop Merrick or any of the Synod from releasing their own bound souls in order to track us down?”

“Honestly,” Ty said. “I don’t know.”

“You could give it back.” Now that I knew my ring was literally a piece of Tyler, I was sure that he could take it off my thumb if he wanted to. “I’m sure Merrick would let it slide if you’re as close as you say you are. Maybe a slap on the wrist and a warning never to do it again.”

Ty chuckled. “Wishful thinking. It’s true that Merrick would help me but I’m not sure he can. Not anymore. I’ve crossed an uncrossable line. The Synod wants retribution. I’m a threat to their perceived order and the world is too important to allow my soul to be whole. The Jinn are nothing if not selfless, Darian. And that selflessness has to be upheld.”

My eyes went wide with fear. “By killing you?”

“No. But they could banish me from this plane.”

Sounded a lot like dying to me. “What about our bond. Our life forces are tied.” It was a truth I’d known from the beginning. “If you die, I die.”

“You have
Nys’Asdar
,” Tyler replied. “You will
always
be protected.”

I didn’t know what that meant, but it sure as hell wasn’t good. “Since I’ve seen the
Délash
twice, does that mean the next time I can kiss my ass goodbye?”

“It’s a scare tactic,” Tyler replied. “The Synod is calling my bluff.”

“Give it back to them, Tyler.” I didn’t know if it would help, but I knew I didn’t need a piece of Tyler’s soul to feel safe. His very presence did that.
Nys’Asdar
hadn’t rescued me from Padma. It might have helped me to stay sane, but it was Ty who’d come into those dark tunnels to bring me home. “I don’t need it.”

Tyler cocked a brow. “What makes you think that I don’t?”

His words sent a shock of fear through me. “Do you?”

He pinned me with his gaze. “I know what it is to feel complete. I don’t know that I’m willing to let that go.”

“You feel whole, even with that part of your soul separated from your body?”

“A body is just a vessel, Darian. Just like that ring.”

Not all genies are trapped in bottles
. Mr. Wu’s words tickled at the back of my mind. I supposed Ty was right. Whether it was flesh and bones or an endless circle of silver, both held Ty’s soul. Who was I to take that away from him?

“You said
Nys’Asdar
was a myth,” I whispered.

“It is,” Tyler replied in that cryptic way that set my teeth on edge. “We’re not supposed to be able to take that piece of our soul back once it’s been forfeited.
Nys’Asdar
literally means: vessel. An inanimate object hasn’t contained a soul since the time the Jinn decided we needed limitations to continue to exist.”

Holy shit. The entire concept was so far out there I couldn’t properly wrap my mind around it. It didn’t surprise me that Ty had accomplished something no one else had ever dared to try. He’d always been the sort who defied the odds. If anything just so he could be subversively smug about it later.

“I’ll plead my case with the Synod one last time.” Ty continued. “See if I can get them to listen to reason. Perhaps if they can see that by entrusting you with
Nys’Asdar
, that I have no intention of using my power selfishly or destructively. Being in control of that omnipotence hasn’t changed my spirit. It doesn’t alter who I am. It’s time we revisited rules that were made even before recorded history. It’s time for a change.”

I wouldn’t argue with him. This was his decision to make and I trusted him. “And if you can’t sway their opinions?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Ty said. “Merrick is reasonable. He’ll listen to me.”

I wished I could share in his optimism. “What do you want me to do?”

“Lay low for a while,” Tyler responded. “At least until I can figure out who blew up your building and why.”

“Funny,” I remarked. “You’d think an omnipotent being would know without an investigation. As a god, don’t you
know
?” 

Ty smiled. The expression was open and genuine and it melted my heart. “Not entirely omnipotent,” he remarked. “As long as you possess
Nys’Asdar
, I still have a few limitations.”

No wonder the Synod was afraid of our relationship. If he took the ring back, he’d be beyond their control. He’d be beyond
anyone’s
control. I was the lone variable. The one thing that could swing all of this in their favor, or fuck them over royally.

“Not in my eyes,” I said. “There isn’t anything you can’t do, Ty. You never disappoint.”

“Gods, I love you,” he said before he put his mouth to mine.

I melted into his embrace more than willing to let him distract us both from our troubles this time. I loved him, too.

Forever. No matter what.

#

I woke up totally blissed-out. We’d spent the past couple of nights making love and reaffirming vows that didn’t need to be spoken. After days of radio silence from Merrick, he finally agreed to give Ty the opportunity for a last ditch effort to get the Synod to listen to reason. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was scared shitless or relieved. I was antsy as hell to get back to my building to assess the damage, mourn over the loss, and devise a plan on how to move forward. But I promised Tyler that I’d keep a low profile until after his meeting with the Synod, at which point we’d know if we were safe to stay in Seattle, or if it was time to pull up anchor and move on.