Shaping Destiny (9 page)

Fur covered my whole body,
and I held no resemblance of being human. I knew it would happen,
but to actually see it surprised me. I continued examining my body
and turning all different directions. There was no denying that I
was a shape shifter any longer. My fur was light and striking in
color. Reds weaved between white strands. The thickness and warmth
comforted me.

Max sat in awe watching me
soak in the surroundings. “You’re magnificent.”

“Roar . . .” I tried to
speak.

Max laughed. “I can’t
understand you right now.”

So many images came to
mind before transforming. I could have become a wild beast that
roams the forest forever or die from the pain. But I never felt
more alive and in control than at this moment.

Not wanting to go too far
but wanting to explore, I traveled up the hill on all fours. I
weaved my agile body through trees and leaped over logs, scaring
birds along the way and hearing their angry squawks.

“Leah!” Max
yelled.

His voice stopped me in my
tracks. Noticing I’d gone too far, I followed my scent back in a
run. The speed thrilled me and I didn’t slow until I was inches
away from Max.

Max took a couple steps
back, ready for impact. “I think you’ve got the hang of it. Are you
ready to shift back?”

I shook my head in
agreement and went back to where my clothes lay. They were ripped
in two.
Of course,
I thought.
How could clothes that
fit a 110-pound human fit a 200-pound wolf?

“Sorry, I should’ve told
you about this part. I have a blanket in the truck.”

Max picked up all the
scattered clothing. “Race you back.”

Was he kidding? My four
legs would carry me faster than his two any day, but I took off
after him. I caught up to him instantly, making him run faster.
Effortlessly, I ran by him until his truck came into
view.

“Leah, hold back just a
bit. I’ll go get the blanket. We don’t want anybody to see
anything.”

This place never had
people around, but I found a tree and hunched down to
wait.

Max hurried back with a
large, red, fleece blanket. “I’m not sure what where going to do
when we get back to your dorms, but this should work for now.” He
half giggled.

A light growl vibrated my
throat to let him know it wasn’t funny.

“OK, OK.” He put his two
hands out. “It’s much easier to shift back to your human form than
your wolf.” He took a step closer and winked. “You won’t need my
help this time.”

Flash backs of his lips on
my mine flooded me. I grabbed the blanket in my mouth and turned to
hit him with my tail before heading to a large tree for
cover.

First I thought about
breathing and slowing down my racing heart, and then I started
talking to myself.
Think about being
human. Just hours before, you walked on two legs. Breathe.
As the wolf started vanishing, I reached for the
blanket for clover. It wasn’t weather to be out in the nude, so I
started back to the truck quickly. Human feet weren’t meant to walk
without shoes, but I didn’t have to for long.

“Nice robe you have
there,” Max said as he whooshed me up into his arms in a
cradle.

“Ha ha, very funny! From
now on I’ll be doing the packing.”

“Does that mean you will
be shifting again soon?”

“I don’t know.” The pain
of the transformation radiated in my eyes.

“It will get easier. I
don’t even feel it anymore. I think it has a lot to do with fear.
The more you fight this part of yourself, the more your body fights
the transformation. As soon as you accept and embrace who you are,
the better it’ll be.” Max kept ahold of me while opening the
passenger’s door to gently put me inside. “After we conquer your
fear, we need to work on holding back your wolf so I can kiss you
again.” He smiled and shuts the door.

***

We pulled into a parking
spot at my dorms and looked around to see how many people were
near. “I think if I just keep the blanket wrapped up high, it’s
long enough to cover my toes. No one will know I don’t have clothes
on underneath.”

“No one would even imagine
someone walking around naked. They’d just think you’re cold and
trying to keep warm.”

“Right. OK, so I’m going.”
Max and I both opened our doors and walk to the back of his
truck.

“I’ll find you later.” Max
reached out to tuck my hair behind my ear. I smiled and got lost in
his eyes.

“Leah!” Jared’s voice
could be heard from across the parking lot.

This could not get any
worse.

“You have to leave,” I
said, turning back to Max, then back to Jared.

A smile spread across his
face. “Are you afraid to tell him you love me?”

Love? Was he trying to
make me squirm?

“Later,” I told Max and
walked toward the stairs of the dorm.

“Leah, wait up,” Jared
said.

“Hey Jared. How’s it
going?” I kept my pace steady.

“Good. I wanted . . .” He
placed a hand on my shoulder. “Wait, slow down just minute.
Where’re you going so fast?”

“Just to my room.
Sorry.”
Getting there unnoticed was out of
the question
.
I
turned to face Jared.
Why was Max still
beside his truck staring? Or listening?

“I miss you. You have been
buried in school work and gone doing who knows what. I got mad
because you aren’t being totally honest with me. But what I really
want is to be there for you when you’re ready to talk. We haven’t
been the same since we came here and that’s not like us. I’m not
sure how this place changed things, but please don’t shut me
out.”

“I don’t mean to shut you
out . . . Jared, can we talk about this later?”
Maybe after I had clothes on.

“Later? You don’t answer
your phone, you’re never home, and when I finally catch you and try
to be open, you shut me out again.” He looked over to where Max
stood. “Then when I do find you, I see you coming out of a truck
with another man. Not to mention you have a blanket around
you.”

“Jared, please. It’s cold
outside.” I gestured to the blanket.

“Who is he?” The dreaded
question now lingered. “Leah, please. I don’t want to be lied to
anymore. Not about this. I love you.”

He deserved to know, but I
needed to tell him in my own time. To want to keep both men until
it suited me was selfish, though. Love can be blind and can be felt
at so many levels. This realization never hit me until Max came
into my life.

“I love you too, Jared.
You’re my best friend. I’m sorry we haven’t talked like we used to.
And you’re right there are a lot of things going on that I haven’t
talk to you about. But I can’t. There is one thing I need to tell
you, though. I just don’t want to hurt you.” I looked over toward
Max, and Jared followed my gaze. “I’ve grown feelings for someone
else. I’m not sure where it’s going, but I can’t be the same person
you want me to be right now.”

For a minute, Jared just
stared over my shoulder. It tortured me to see his face so blank.
“You like someone else?”

“Here, let me go inside
for a minute to grab something, and we’ll go out to dinner. We’ll
talk. Wait here. I’ll be right back.” Jared remained a stunned
statue, so I turned for my room in hopes he wouldn’t
move.

By the time I got a shirt
over my head, Jared’s and Max’s voices came flooding to my
ears.
No way
.
Dressing quickly, I darted back down to the parking lot. I ran over
to Jared arguing. People gawked as they passed.

“Who are you really? What
do you want from Leah?” Jared yelled.

“Calm down, man. I’m just
helping her out.”

“With what? Who are
you?”

“You keep asking me that,
and again I’m just a guy that happened to meet Leah.” Max put his
hands up.

I jumped in between them
with my back toward Max. “Jared, let’s go out and get some dinner.”
I put my hand on his arm, but he never released Max’s stare.
“Please, let’s go.”

“This isn’t over. I’m
going to find out what you’re doing here and who you are. Leah has
been with me for years, and she won’t just leave me for someone
like you!” Jared finally gave into the pressure on his arm and
followed me to my car. I had never seen him like that.

***

We sat down in the Mexican
restaurant we had been to before. That place seemed to never sleep.
More people were singing karaoke, and the same waitress took our
orders. It remained quiet between us until after we’d finished
eating.

“Do you even know anything
about him, Leah? He could be dangerous.”

“I’m getting to know him,
but I feel like I know him pretty well already.” Dangerous would be
the last word to describe Max. He had saved my life so many times,
but I couldn’t tell Jared that.

“How did you meet
him?”

“One of the weekends when
I went walking through campus. He saved me from hitting my head too
hard. It was so wet that day, remember?”

He didn’t reply, but just
continued with his questioning. “Does he go to this
school?”

“Nope.”

“Does he live around
here?”

“For now.”

“Then what does he
do?”

“Jared, what is with the
one hundred and one questions?”

He sat back further in his
seat and folded his arms. “Nothing. It’s just that if you’re going
to be hanging out with this guy, I want to know he’s good for
you.”

“Well, enough of the
questioning. You’ll just have to trust me.”

“I’m your best friend.
This doesn’t feel right. We know everything about each other.
Something’s wrong, and if this guy is the reason, I want to
know.”

“He’s not the reason. I
know you and I haven’t been talking or hanging out. I feel the
distance between us too, and I’m not trying to ignore it. I want
you still in my life, but there are some things happening right now
that are bigger than us. I know it’s hard to understand. I just
wish you could trust me.”

“Hard to understand? You
haven’t told me anything to understand. You’re not even giving me a
chance to understand. You’ve decided that whatever is going on is
too big for us to handle together.”

“I don’t know what else to
say. Maybe one day I can tell you, if you’ll stay around that long
to find out.”

“Where would I
go?”

“Good. That’s all I wanted
to hear.”

***

Jared drove me home that
night without another word about Max. We talked about classes,
family, and ballroom. For a minute, it almost felt normal
again.

“Our performance is coming
up fast. Do you think we’ll be ready?” I asked.

“Yea, we have our steps
down. Miss Chapel is a little concerned about how the formations
are coming along, but we still have another week.”

“Week? I thought two or
three.”

“It was, but they moved up
the performance dates. She announced it last class, don’t you
remember?”

“I guess. If you ever want
to practice out of class, just let me know.”

“That would be great, but
like I said, I don’t think we have anything to worry
about.”

We pulled up to my dorm,
and exhaustion took me over. After shape shifting, telling Jared
about Max, and breaking up an argument, I needed sleep.

“Thanks for taking me out
to dinner,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jared kissed me on the
cheek. “Bye, cutie.”

This good-bye felt like
the end of a chapter, but when Max stood waiting for me next to my
room, I knew it wasn’t the end of anything.

“I just got off the phone
with my employer. He says it’s time for you two to
talk.”

“Meet him? Why now?” I
asked.

“Probably because you
shifted today. Every couple days I call in.”

“When does he want to
meet?”

“As soon as possible. We
can start the drive tomorrow.”

“How far is this
person?”

“A few hours
away.”

“Hours? I can’t drive for
hours on a week day. School is tomorrow and the rest of the week.
How can we drive for hours and still be back in time for
class?”

“I don’t think he cares
that you have classes. In fact, he made it sound like school needs
to be put on hold until this is finished.”

I couldn’t believe what I
was hearing. A man I had never met wanted me to drop out of school,
drive hours to see him, and listen to what he had to say. Who did
this guy think he was?

“I’m tired. It’s been a
long day, but you can tell this person that I’m not leaving yet. I
have classes and a performance with Jared next weekend. Jared and I
may not be in a good place right now, but he’s my friend. We have
been working really hard for this.” I tried to walk past Max to get
to the door of my room.