Shared by Her Soldiers (2 page)

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Authors: Dinah McLeod

BOOK: Shared by Her Soldiers
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“Good. Now that your spanking is over, what do you say you go wash your face and give Sean a call?”

“Sean?” she echoed in surprise, meeting his eyes at last. “But I thought…”

“He’ll want to talk to you.”

Kaitlyn’s eyes searched his face, then she frowned, knowing that the two of them must have planned it this way. For a moment, she thought of refusing. The idea of Sean seeing her red, wet eyes and knowing she’d been crying, knowing exactly
why
she was crying, was humiliating. And yet, she
had
deserved it. He should have called her first, he should have taken her feelings into consideration, but that didn’t excuse her for how she’d acted, either. Besides, she really, really wanted to talk to him.

“OK,” she agreed, standing. She gave Jarrod a small smile before excusing herself to the bathroom. While there she splashed her face with cold water and put a little cream on her eyes to get rid of the puffiness, adding a quick touch of lipstick before she came back out again. She’d intended to thank Jarrod—or, if not thank him, exactly, at least offer him breakfast, but when she came back out, he was gone.

Scant minutes later she was staring at her laptop, waiting for his face to pop onto the screen. She’d taken time in the bathroom to compose herself, but the minute she saw his familiar blue eyes, the sharp lines of his jaw lined with dark blond stubble, she felt her lip quivering and her eyes filling once more.

“Hey, babe.” His voice sounded rough with emotion.

“Hi,” she managed to choke out as she attempted a smile. God, she missed him so much. She wanted nothing more than to be able to reach through the computer screen and hug him tight.

“How’s everything on the home front?”

“Fine. Jarrod’s… looking after me, if that’s what you mean.”

“Good man.” To his credit, he didn’t so much as smile. “You make sure you listen to him, all right? He’s only got your best interests at heart.”

“I know,” she admitted, however begrudgingly. “I’ll do my best.”

“Good girl.” He returned her smile briefly. “And babe… I miss you. I’ll be home soon.”

“Soon,” she echoed, as though saying it aloud would make it true.

“I love you. I’ve got to go for now, but I’m glad I got to talk to you.”

“Already?” She bit down on her bottom lip, hard, so that she wouldn’t pout.

“Afraid so. I’ve got some paperwork to see to, then it’s lights out.”

“OK.” She swallowed her sigh and smiled instead, trying to put on the brave face he expected.

“What have you got planned for today?”

“Laundry,” she said with a shrug. “You know, boring housewife stuff.”

“Well, I gotta tell you, I envy the sheets you’ll be folding.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because they’ll get to see your beautiful smile, get to feel your soft, sweet hands on them. I’m jealous.”

And just like that, he had her giggling and blushing. With just a few words, he’d made her feel special. That’s how things always were between them. She could be mad as a hornet at him one minute and then he said something to make it all better, to make her feel like nothing had changed.

“Goodnight, sergeant.”

“Write me later, all right? I love waking up to an email from my bride.”

She rolled her eyes, but not in the way that got her into trouble. “Sir, yes, sir.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” He blew kisses into the monitor just before he signed off.

She felt like a new woman as she gently closed the laptop. He could do that, her husband. He could turn her mood around and leave her feeling adored. She looked at the closed door, wishing for a moment that Jarrod was there so that she could thank him. Not for spanking her, of course, but for helping her clear her head so that she could talk to Sean again. Come to think of it, he’d take it to mean the same thing, so it was probably a good thing he wasn’t here after all.

Chapter Two

 

 

Eight months later

 

“Is that his plane?” Kaitlyn asked for what must have been the hundredth time as she bit her bottom lip. Excitement and nervousness battled beneath her breast and every other minute she changed her mind about which one would claim victory.

“It sure is,” Jarrod replied, patient in spite of the fact that he’d told her the same thing not even five minutes ago.

She couldn’t help but feel grateful for his easygoing nature. It balanced out her own strong-willed, bullheaded tendencies. “Do you think he’ll be glad to be home?”

“Of course he will, Kate. I know he’s missed you.”

She bit harder on her lip, wishing that she could share his certainty. While she hoped that he had missed her, like she’d missed him, she also knew that they’d both grown used to being apart. This was the first deployment since they’d been married and it had been a long one. Hell, at this rate she’d gone through their marriage mostly without him! And it made her nervous. She couldn’t say exactly why, and she didn’t like it, but she couldn’t deny the knots twisting in her stomach at the prospect of seeing him again.

Deep down, she knew it was more than nerves. She was afraid. She was afraid she’d see him again and it would be… what? Like seeing a stranger. She was terrified that they’d look at each other and feel nothing at all.

Part of her wished that she could confide in Jarrod about these things. But he was her confessor, the one who meted out punishment. Slowly, over the long weeks that she and Sean had been apart, he’d even become a friend. But he was brothers-in-arms and battle buddies with Sean first and her friend second. So really, she had no one to turn to with her secret, hidden fears. The biggest fear, when she could admit it to herself, was that she would be trading her current arrangement with Jarrod—an arrangement that was certainly untraditional but that she’d come to depend on nonetheless—for a man she didn’t know anymore. When Sean was finally home and settled, she’d be seeing a lot less of Jarrod. Once, it wouldn’t have bothered her—particularly those first few times she’d found herself upended over his lap and staring at the floor as he’d reddened her bare bottom. But now… now, she couldn’t entertain the thought because when she did her heart bloomed with a hurt so raw that her breaths came in shallow gasps.

Kaitlyn forced herself to put it out of her mind now, too. She shouldn’t be thinking about Jarrod at all—Sean was always going to come home, and things were always going to go back to the way they had been. That had been the plan, and she should be glad. It was only her nerves getting to her that made her think like this. She shook her head and turned her thoughts back to Sean. What was he thinking right now? Was it about her? Was he anticipating their reunion as much as she was? Was his heart pounding as hard as hers was? Was it beating in his ears, drowning out the sounds around him, taking his focus off everything but the idea of seeing her?

“I hate this,” she muttered, not even aware that she’d spoken the words aloud.

“It’ll be over soon.”

She startled at the sound of Jarrod’s voice. He’d broken her out of a trance she hadn’t even been aware she’d put herself in. She wrenched her eyes away from the plane, and the door that stayed firmly shut despite her attempts to pry it open with sheer willpower. “I wish he’d hurry up already,” she admitted.

“If he could have you in his arms right now, I know he would.” He put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

She allowed herself to relax momentarily in the familiar embrace, grateful for the comfort even though she didn’t feel reassured. She sure hoped he was right. At the same time, as anxious as she was about their situation, she was frustrated with herself, too. The thoughts felt disloyal. After all, it wasn’t like she hadn’t known what she was getting herself into when she’d accepted Sean’s marriage proposal. She’d known that being a military wife was demanding—or, rather, she’d
thought
she knew. She’d read every military spouse article she could get her hands on, and of course, there had been all the well-meaning advice she’d gotten whenever anyone learned that she would soon marry a military man. So, she’d thought she had some rough idea of what it would be like, but how could you really know until you were living it?

You couldn’t comprehend the loneliness until you were on your own, day in and day out, longing for someone that you couldn’t have. It wasn’t a regular job. He couldn’t ask for a day off here and there because she had the flu. He hadn’t been there for her to call on when she’d gotten a flat sixteen miles away from the base, or been there when her mom had gotten really sick. It had looked dire for a while, and while he’d told her how sorry he was, crying alone wasn’t nearly as cathartic as spilling tears onto a sympathetic shoulder.

She supposed she could have called Jarrod. He’d come out and fixed her flat—he was, it turned out, good for more than just making her butt all kinds of sore—but it hadn’t felt right, to look to him for comfort in that regard. She knew that Sean had meant well when he’d asked his friend to take care of her, but it still just wasn’t the same. The truth was, nothing could have prepared her for the insanity of being married to a man who she hadn’t been able to touch in a year and a half. He’d missed their anniversary, her birthday, Christmas. How were they supposed to build a life together when she was making memories without him? Did it even bother him?

Kaitlyn was mired so deep in her own thoughts that she didn’t realize anyone was speaking to her until she felt Jarrod jostle her elbow. “Hey!” she exclaimed, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Kate, the general’s wife asked you a question.”

She turned in surprise to see a girl sporting super-long, shiny reddish-brown hair and a tentative smile.

“I’m sorry,” Kaitlyn said without bothering to hide her sigh. Didn’t this girl know she was waiting to see her husband? She was much too wound up to talk to anyone right now. “What was that?”

“I was asking if you’d gotten my invitation to join the FRG.”

“The what?” she asked with ill-conceived impatience, glancing back at the plane. Damn it, the door had opened. She wanted to stand riveted to the spot and watch for Sean, but the silly girl wouldn’t shut up!

“It stands for Family Readiness Group. I lead the group and I was hoping that since you’re fairly new to our post—”

“Listen,” she interrupted with a false smile and warmth that she didn’t feel. “I never got an invitation, but if you could take me off your list, I’d be grateful. I’m not interested.” Kaitlyn was so busy looking for Sean that she didn’t see how caught off guard the girl was. “It was nice to meet you,” she added without looking at her, “but if you’ll excuse me, I’m waiting for my husband.”

“Yes, of course. Forgive the intrusion.”

Kaitlyn didn’t attempt a response and in an instant the woman and the conversation had completely evaporated from her mind. Because right at that moment, she saw a halo of golden blond hair that could only belong to
her
soldier. Her heart took off into a gallop and rode straight into her throat as she waited. She watched with bated breath as he descended the plane. Though she was sure he was hurrying toward her, every foot of space between them was agony.

Her eyes latched onto him, drinking the sight of him in so deeply that she didn’t think she could tear her gaze away if she’d wanted to. It had been so long—and yes, she’d been able to see him from time to time on Skype, so she’d had no trouble recalling his clean, chiseled features. Yet, her eyes caught on details that had grown foggy with time. Had he always been so tall? Had he always looked so formal, so stiff? Her heart began to flutter with a heady mix of nervousness and excitement as he drew closer. She smiled so big that she thought her face might split in two. She smiled for him, that was true, but she also smiled because her fear had dissipated as though it had never been there. What had she been worried about? Suddenly, she couldn’t even remember.

By the time he reached her, she was bouncing on her heels with excitement and eager anticipation. Sean’s gaze seemed as intense on her as she knew her own must seem to him. His blue eyes ravaged her face just moments before he grabbed her in a hug that was fierce and somehow tender all at once. When she inhaled his sweet, manly scent, tears sprang to her eyes.

“God, I missed you,” he breathed into her hair.

She didn’t think he could possibly hold her any closer, yet she wanted to meld into him so that she never had to let go again. “I missed you, too,” she said, beginning to cry.

“Shh. It’s OK, baby. I’m here now. I’m home.”

She clung to him, forgetting that there were other couples around them, in the midst of their own tearful reunions. She didn’t care. She even forgot about Jarrod, who had respectfully stepped aside to give them their space. She didn’t know how long they stood there, lost in each other’s arms, but by the time they came up for air they were only one of a handful of couples left.

At that moment, Jarrod cleared his throat from behind him. Sean turned, his arm still around her, and smiled.

“How’s it been, battle?” he asked, clasping hands briefly with his friend. “I owe you for keeping things in line for me here stateside.”

Kaitlyn flushed, knowing that by
things
he actually meant
her
.

“Don’t mention it. Anytime.”

“Well, maybe we’ll both get lucky and I won’t have to take you up on that,” he said, and they chuckled together.

They were still laughing when another man approached. Kaitlyn could tell by his salt and pepper hair that he was older, and by his uniform that he was a two-star general. When they caught sight of him, both men stood up a little straighter and went silent almost instantly.

“At ease, men,” the general boomed. “You’re not even on duty, Peters,” he told Jarrod.

“Old habits, sir.”

“Yes, I know all too well. And I’m sure you’re happy to be home, Green.”

“Yes, sir,” Sean replied, squeezing her tightly to him. “Very happy.”

“This must be your beautiful wife.”

“Yes, sir, this is Kaitlyn. I’d like you to meet General McCoy,” he told her.

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