Shared for Love (Kagan Wolves) (10 page)

He ran his hands over her, pulling her impossibly closer, and possessed her mouth. Her soft sounds of pleasure were muffled against his lips. So were his guttural ones. Both enflamed him. More hungers surfaced. He wanted to lick her, every inch of her, then part her legs and feast.

A bed. He needed a bed.

He took a step forward, still kissing her, then another. Resistance met him. He tore his mouth from Hannah’s, glanced behind her, and collided with Noah’s gaze. The lust displayed on his face stirred memories of loving him, feeling his hard body under him, pushing his shoulders to the floor, and yanking his ass in the air. Ethan’s dick jerked in his pants.

He flexed his fingers on Hannah’s bottom. Soft yet firm, she had a body worthy of his worship. He would deliver it and enjoy every second of it. But…but she couldn’t take the place of Noah—a dominant who’d submit to Ethan whenever he needed it, or push him against the wall and possess him, making him experience the same.

He didn’t know if that was normal. How would he? It wasn’t as if there was an association for gay wolves. He only knew it worked for them. They were equals. Partners. They shared the roles.

They…shared.

“We both fuck her. We make her your mate and our lover.”
Noah’s words repeated in Ethan’s head.

Could they? Could he keep both his true mate and the mate of his heart?

“That was the fucking hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Noah’s statement brought a small grin to Ethan’s mouth. With Hannah in his arms, he didn’t feel the need to attack Noah, despite the tension emanating from Ethan’s wolf. Its low growl added to its building aggressiveness. He ignored the animal and focused on Noah.

“It was. Perfect.”

“Exactly as you imagined?” Curiosity bled into Noah’s eyes. “Worth the wait?”

To desire a woman. Ethan knew that was what Noah wanted to discover. At least one secret remained hidden. Ethan was glad too. He didn’t need Hannah doubting his ability to satisfy her on top of the shock she’d no doubt experienced after learning about his relationship with Noah.

Ethan shifted his gaze to her face. She watched him. Raw need darkened her eyes. He brushed his thumb over the corner of her mouth. Her lashes drifted shut, and she parted her lips on a sigh.

“Yes. Hannah’s worth the wait.”

“Is she worth your devotion? Your worship?”

“Yes.” Ethan skimmed his fingertips over her face, mapping it. Her soft skin teased the pads, sensitizing them. “She’s deserves everything.”

“Happiness? Does she deserve that?”

Noah’s question dragged Ethan’s attention back to him. “Of course.”

“She won’t be if she mates a broken male. She’ll end up feeling like a failure because no matter what she does she won’t be able to fill the role I do in your life.”

Hadn’t Ethan thought the same thing moments before? His lover had planned their encounter well. It didn’t surprise him. Not only did Noah know him, he had an incredible mind. He was wise too, more so than most males his age. His grief and the time he’d spent mourning Mindy had changed him. At least that was what he’d said once. Ethan couldn’t relate. He’d lost friends, pack mates, and relatives, but never a lover.

The moment he mated Hannah, he would.

He shifted his focus to her and studied her for some clue as to what she thought of Noah’s prediction. Only desire showed on her face. Whatever she thought or felt remained hidden. It didn’t surprise him any more than realizing Noah had manipulated him. Despite their limited time together, Hannah read him well, never pushing for more than he would accept, physically and emotionally.

“You told me you wanted me as your mate, but that was before you learned my dirty little secret.” He held her gaze, challenging her. “What about now? Do you still want to mate me?”

“Yes.” No hesitation. Her single whispered word could’ve been a vow given in blood. The certainty of her choice radiated from her.

He leaned closer, nose to nose. “Don’t be so quick to agree. You don’t know what loving me will entail.”

She narrowed her eyes, not in the least intimidated by his hard stare. “Six months I’ve waited for you to kiss me. Six months, Ethan. That might not seem like a long time for you, but it was an eternity for me. I dreamt about you. Thought about you constantly. Couldn’t get enough of you, even if it was only your hand in mine I got to enjoy. I savored it. Do you understand me? Twining our fingers was heaven and hell all wrapped in one. So”—she eased back and cocked a brow—“tell me whatever it is you think will change my mind.”

He grinned. He loved knowing she treated him as her equal.

“I couldn’t give you more. Holding your hand had made me feel guilty enough. Noah has been my partner for a long time. I love him.” He let her see the truth in his words.

A slight flinch was her only response.

It cut him, ripping open his chest. He ignored the pain seeing it brought. He’d started the conversation. He had to finish it. She needed to know everything. “I also desire him, Hannah. Being with you hasn’t changed that.”

She lowered her gaze for the briefest of moments before staring into his eyes. “What are you trying to say?”

He slid his hand to Hannah’s shoulder, the spot he’d mark in a matter of nights. “I want to mate you, but Noah’s right. Walking away from him will rip me in half.”

She opened her mouth. He laid a single finger against her lips, stopping her words. What he was about to ask wasn’t even something he was sure he’d be able to follow through on. His wolf’s growls hadn’t lessened. Hell, the animal’s angry snarls grew louder by the minute. They reverberated in his head. He blocked them out. If he didn’t at least try to keep Noah, he’d regret it for the rest of his life.

“So there’s only one question left to ask you.”

“And that is?”

“If you still want to mate me”—he glanced at Noah—“what are willing to do to heal me?”

Chapter Ten

The look in Ethan’s eyes stopped Hannah’s heart. Possession. It would’ve been a welcome sight if it had been directed at her alone. It wasn’t. Noah held the role of lover and friend. They were mates of the heart. The term usually applied to widows who went on to love again, but she’d also heard same-sex partners use it too.

Chris, a protector from her pack, still mourned the loss of his lover—the mate of his heart. Their connection had been real, even if it hadn’t been the mystical one that linked souls. It had been based on love. Noah and Ethan shared the same powerful union. The truth was stamped on Ethan’s face.

How was she supposed to compete with the relationship they’d formed? She couldn’t. The only thing she’d accomplish by mating Ethan was the scenario Noah had given. She’d come between them. They’d end up resenting her for it. No way did she want that. She’d rather live her life alone.

Noah had offered her another option. She glanced between the two larger-than-life males. Both beautiful, strong and sexy—they could be hers. Did she want that? More importantly, could she be what they needed?

Could she bridge them?

What exactly did that mean? Sure, Noah had given her a crude visual. The three of them tangled in passion tempted her. She wouldn’t deny that, but it wasn’t natural. The aggressiveness radiating from Ethan confirmed how difficult it’d be to form the union Noah suggested.

Of course, Ethan might not be asking for the same arrangement. There was another scenario; one she refused to allow. If he thought to keep Noah as a lover on the side, going to him for sex or comfort, he could forget it. She would not be treated as a means to secure Ethan’s role as alpha or worse yet, a breeding partner, only being touched on the night of full moon when she was fertile.

She fought her jealousy. The emotion would destroy her. Shame her. She’d grow resentful. No. She would not give in to it.

She had to be sure.

She focused on Ethan’s face and asked the question that would set her path. “And what will heal you?”

Ethan tore his gaze from Noah and stared at her, studying her as intently as she had him. The tendons in his neck stood out, and while he held her with care, tension radiated from his body. The conflict between his wants and his wolf’s was clear. He opened his mouth. No words came out. He snapped it closed on a groan.

Her heart beat harder. She shoved her anxiety deep, along with her self-doubt. A true mate bridged both halves of a shifter, healing them. From the moment she met Ethan, she’d sensed their connection. The same sense of rightness had gripped her in Noah’s arms. It wasn’t simply lust. It was more. Unconventional or not, they were mates. The three of them. She couldn’t be wrong.

I am not a fool. What I feel is real.
She wrapped the words around her vulnerable heart and laid her palm on Ethan’s cheek. “I want to be the mate you need. Tell me what will heal you.”

“I’m not sure anything can, but I know I need Noah. I want to touch him. Love him.” He covered her hand. “I also want you. I want both of you.”

“So you want to share me with him?” She couldn’t allow any misunderstandings.

“I want to try, if you’re willing.” He tugged the collar of her shirt, exposing her shoulder and the spot where his bite would mark her as a mated female. Her pulse raced more. The expression on his face matched the one he’d worn for Noah moments before. “I can’t promise it’ll work. I feel possessive of you. No matter how much I love Noah, the sight of you in his arms enraged me.”

She curled her fingers around Ethan’s waistband. “But you like having me in your arms, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

The hunger in the single word brought a smile to her lips. She yanked his dress shirt from his black pants. He sucked in a breath, and the muscles under her palms flexed. She popped a button, then another and another until the cotton parted, revealing the chest she’d longed to see. Lean yet strong, exactly as she’d imagined.

She ran her hand down the center of his body and paused with her fingers at his zipper. “Then let me give you what you need.”

His breathing deepened. “And what do I need?”

She pulled the zipper and slipped her hand inside his pants. Silk boxers hid his cock. She covered the hard length and stroked him, base to head. He groaned, and she grinned. “You need us. Let us share you tonight.”

“Hannah. My perfect Hannah.” He cupped the back of her head and drew her in for another kiss.

As wicked as their first, Ethan dominated her mouth. A thrust of his tongue against hers, and her thoughts scattered. Her lusts gripped her, leaving her crazed and needy. She wanted to push him to the bed and ride him, fucking him until he lost control.

The image became a necessity. She needed his cock inside her, thrusting and filling her up. The hot rush of his release would send her over. She’d scream for him. Beg him for more. And he’d give it to her, all night long.

She whimpered. The sound enflamed him. He growled and kissed her harder, devouring her mouth as he would her body. The caress of his hands on her ass roughened. He fisted the material of her skirt and yanked it up, then grabbed her bottom a moment later. A squeeze to each butt cheek and another sound slipped free, a guttural moan she’d never heard come out of her throat before. He swallowed the muffled noise and fed her his. She savored it but wanted more.

She released his cock and shoved at his pants, pushing his dress slacks down but leaving his boxers. The silkiness teased her fingertips. She splayed her fingers over his tight ass, marveling at his body. Hard and firm, he was perfect. Hers.

The desire to explore him took hold. She skimmed a finger down the crack of his ass. He thrust against her and offered up a pleased sound. Liking it, she reversed the stroke, pushing deeper and teasing his asshole with circling strokes.

Ethan rocked against her. The cock pressed against her stomach jerked. She would’ve grinned if given the chance. He didn’t offer her any. He kept kissing her and running his hands over her back as if memorizing every inch.

She reached between his legs, as far as she could, and traced the crease where his thigh met his groin. Noah’s hand brushed hers on her upward stroke. She stilled, but he covered her fingers with his and directed her hand to the waistband of Ethan’s boxers. Together, they pulled them down. The smoothness of his ass greeted her. Her fingertips tingled, and her body hummed.

Noah abandoned her hand and yanked hard on Ethan’s clothes, jerking his body. Ethan tightened his hold on her ass and nipped at her lips while Noah finished undressing him. Ethan kicked his pants away but didn’t let her go. He slid his fingers up her sides, dragging her top with him. At the edge of her breast, he tore his mouth from hers.

The look in his eyes stopped her heart. Wild and a little crazed, it was one she’d never seen a lover wear, but she liked it. Liked it a lot. Welcoming arousal flooded her core, soaking her panties.

“Ethan, I…” She didn’t know what she was going to say or ask. She only knew she needed more.

He rubbed his thumb over the swell of her chest. “Lift your arms. I want to see your breasts.”

She did, and he tugged her shirt off. Her bra joined it a moment later. Her breaths came quicker, lifting her boobs with each inhale.

“Fucking beautiful.”

Noah’s rough tone drew her attention to him. She gasped. He stood naked just behind Ethan. Noah’s cock stretched long and hard against his stomach. She hadn’t realized he’d ditched his clothes too. The full impact of what they were doing hit her, along with a sudden wave of uncertainty. One male she could satisfy, but two?

Could she really do it? Be their heaven?

She glanced from Ethan’s hazed eyes to Noah’s desire-ridden ones. Both males appeared ready to devour her. No signs of aggression came from either. She had a feeling that would change if Noah reached for her. He didn’t nor did she suspect he would until Ethan was ready. Noah didn’t want to lose his lover or her. He’d made that perfectly clear. Ethan had claimed the same.

With both male’s attention on her, she calmed. A sense of power shoved back the insecurity. They wanted her. Needed her. Desired
her
.

She eased back slightly and greedily let her gaze roam over them. Noah stood a couple of inches shorter than Ethan, but Noah carried more mass. His biceps and thighs were thicker, and more muscles added bulk to his chest. It didn’t mean he was stronger. Ethan’s lean body was strength at its finest form. Speed and agility mattered as much in a battle as raw power did. She knew that firsthand.

A few hairs mapped a path down Noah’s stomach, while the translucent ones on Ethan’s body could be felt under her hand but not seen. She flicked her gaze from Ethan’s cock to Noah’s and back. Her needs swamped her. She wanted to lick each male’s body, from their feet to their lips.

Noah stepped closer to Ethan and laid a hand on his hip. Ethan’s cock jerked in response to the slight touch, and he inhaled sharply. Noah inched his fingers closer to Ethan’s rigid length. Slowly. So damn slowly. Noah was testing them both. Either that or he was teasing them. Maybe torturing them. No matter what his motive entailed, the end result was the same. The anticipation of what their nights together would be like built with each inch.

Finally, his fingers touched Ethan’s thick erection. Ethan’s pent-up breath rushed out. Noah danced his fingers along Ethan’s veined length, base to the head. He swiped his thumb over the slit at the top, then reversed the stroke, pressing a little harder and drawing precome to the surface. He spread the fluid to coat the head of Ethan’s cock, making it glisten, then fisted his shaft. A rough tug from Noah’s hand, followed by another and another, and more precome welled, tempting her to capture the drops on her tongue.

A small whimper escaped her, and her legs trembled. The visual her mind provided tempted her. She wanted to make it a reality but she couldn’t tear her gaze from watching Noah stimulate Ethan. It was beautiful, sensual and incredibly hot.

She glanced at Ethan. The expression stamped on his face stole her breath once more. Possession, even ownership. The look directed at her made her heart flip over and her belly quiver. He held his hand out, inviting her to join them. She slipped her palm against his. He curled his long fingers around hers and drew her close.

“Are you good with this?” He swiped his thumb over her nipple, pebbling it. “What Noah’s doing to me?”

“Yes.”

He ran the tip of his tongue over his lower lip, drawing attention to the fangs in his mouth. “I want his dick in my ass and mine in your mouth.”

She gasped, in shock or need. She couldn’t be sure. Whatever reaction he saw on her face made him smile. The wicked glint sparking in his eyes promised sin and heaven all wrapped in one. The wild side she’d guessed he’d kept well hidden was even naughtier than she ever would’ve imagined. More of her arousal flowed, drenching her panties.

He squeezed her breast, not hard but enough to pull a breathy sound from her. “Look at me, Hannah.”

She opened her eyes. She hadn’t realized she’d closed them.

He rubbed his finger back and forth over her nipple, teasing the hard bud and sending sparks across her skin. “Answer me. Tell me you want this.”

“I want this.” She glanced from him to Noah. “I want both of you.”

“I can’t promise you that’ll happen tonight. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to keep my wolf at bay. Only knowing I can’t see the look of lust I know Noah is wearing for you is keeping me in control. My body knows Noah’s. This feels right. You understand?”

His words pierced her heart. They were comfortable with each other. She was the outsider. She nodded anyway. She couldn’t hold it against them. Ethan had only met her a few months prior.

“No.” Ethan cupped her face in his hands and bent so they were eye to eye. “Not just his hands on me. That’s not what I meant. It’s you watching me. Us. That feels right.”

“I like seeing him touch you.” Gaze locked on Ethan’s face, she skimmed her hand down his cock. Her fingers brushed Noah’s. She covered them, and together they stroked Ethan’s hard length. Ethan’s lashes drifted shut, and she grinned. “I want to watch as he makes you come.”

“It won’t only be Noah who sends me over.” Ethan moved one hand to the back of her head, holding her still. “It’ll be both of you.”

She grinned. “Will it?”

“Mmm-hmm.” With a slight push, he urged her to her knees. She glanced up the length of his body and collided with his blue eyes. Lust and raw need burned in them. “Suck my cock, Hannah. Give me what no other woman has.”

His statement could’ve meant many things. She wanted to ask what, but she was beyond words. The same needs displayed on his expression echoed her desires. Her mouth watered for a taste of him. She focused on his length. Long, hard, and straight—he was perfect. She traced the vein running along his shaft, then opened her mouth.

“Wait.”

Noah’s command dropped between them. She froze and jerked her gaze to his face.

He laid a hand on Ethan’s jaw and turned his head toward him. “I want Hannah’s arousal on my dick as I push into you.”

Ethan growled, and Noah tightened his grip on Ethan’s chin. “Touch her, then me. That’s all I’m asking. You know I can never be more than a lover to her. Don’t shut me out of what little I’ll get to experience.”

Ethan flinched and closed his eyes. A quick nod, and he turned his heavy-lidded gaze to her. “You heard him, Hannah. Stand and take off your panties. Let me feel how wet you are for us.”