Shattered: (45 page)

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Authors: Janet Nissenson

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“I’m well aware of how badly I handled things,” admitted Nick in resignation. “You think I haven’t lost sleep over it, haven’t beaten myself up a hundred times? And now that I want to do the right thing by her – have a real relationship – she won’t give me the time of day.”
Dante looked at him scornfully. “Well, duh,
stupido
. Did you really think she was just going to fling herself back into your arms and beg you to pick up where you left off?” When Nick didn’t reply, he only stared at him harder. “You did, didn’t you? God, I always knew you were an arrogant bastard, but for you to honestly believe something like that – I think you’re having some serious mental health issues, my friend.”
Nick smiled faintly. “Odd, that’s what Angela keeps telling me – that I’m off my rocker if I really believe she’s ever going to take me back. But it wouldn’t be like – like it was before. I’ve told her over and over that I’d be willing to compromise.”
“Honestly?” Dante arched a skeptic brow. “I’ve known you now for what – eight, nine years? I’ve never once seen you back down on anything, or not insist on having your own way all the time. I don’t blame Angela for not believing you. Frankly, my friend, you’ve got a really shitty track record.”
“I can change,” Nick replied reluctantly.
“Can you? Can you really?” challenged Dante. “Let’s put that theory to the test, shall we? Are you willing to let Angela visit your house? Or, hey – wait for it – actually sleep over?”
Nick didn’t answer, his mouth tightening mutinously as he glared at his friend.
But Dante was just getting started. “Okay, let’s see what else you’re supposedly willing to compromise on. Can she call you whenever she feels like it? Send you a text or an email? Oh, and will you let her pick the restaurant where you’re going for dinner – I mean, at least every so often?”
“Yes,” conceded Nick. “The restaurant part is fine. Within reason, of course. I don’t care who it is, I’m not eating fast food or greasy takeout or anyplace that offers a Monday Night Football special of Budweiser and hot wings.”
“Snob,” chided Dante. “You barely condescended to eat at my family’s restaurant, even though you admitted later it was some of the best Italian food you ever had. But what about the first part of the question, Nick – the phone calls and such?”
Nick hesitated. “I honestly don’t know. I guess I’d have to agree to allow contact, but only up to a point. You know how I am about my privacy.”
Dante sighed. “Yeah, you’re a pain in the ass and paranoid to boot. Okay, next question. Are you willing to meet her parents? Angela’s a nice Italian girl, after all, and I’m sure her folks would insist on meeting her – uh, boyfriend? Man friend?”
“I’m not really sure she gives a crap about what her family wants. From what I know, they have kind of a complicated – no, make that a fucked-up – relationship. They don’t treat Angela very well, especially her mother.”
Dante shook his head. “Avoiding the real question again, Nick. If she asked you to – say, go with her to a family wedding or her father’s birthday party, something like that – would you go?”
Nick tried to avert the question by re-posing it to Dante. “Would you? If Katie asked you to meet her parents, take her to her best friend’s wedding – would you do it willingly?”
“Hell, yes,” declared Dante without hesitation. “But then I’d go just about anywhere Katie asked me – to the movies to see a chick flick, to the drugstore to buy tampons, to watch her try on shoes for three hours straight.”
Nick shook his head in disgust. “My God, this girl really has you good and pussy whipped, doesn’t she? All I can figure is that she either had some sort of voodoo hex cast on you, or else she’s got a gold plated honey pot.”
Dante grinned. “Well, she definitely has the latter, she’s for sure got me under some kind of spell, and if I’m whipped then I don’t care because it’s the best kind of pain in the whole fucking world. But, hey, this is about
you
, man, not me. I’ve already told you I treat my women like they’re someone special. The real question is – how far are you actually willing to compromise in order to get Angela back? Because so far, if I’m her, I’m not hearing anything new, just the same old song you’re always singing.”
“Yeah, I know.” Nick blew out a breath in frustration. “It’s called being caught between a rock and a hard place, Dan. I want her back, I know I’ve got to change my ways in order to do so, but, well, old habits die hard, you know? I guess I’m still selfish enough and too set in my ways to willingly change. At least enough so that she’ll concede to talk about it, if nothing else.”
“Well, here’s a thought,” offered Dante. “If you don’t think she’s ready to listen – and, more importantly, you’re not willing to compromise – then stop talking and start acting instead. From what I used to observe, things were pretty hot between the two of you a few years ago. Just – uh, give her a sample of what she’s been missing. Unless, of course, she’s not really missing it.”
Nick’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“You did tell me she’s dating some other guy, didn’t you? What is he – a pole vaulter or a javelin thrower or something?”
“High jumper. And there is
no
way,” insisted Nick, “that a nerd like that is capable of satisfying a woman like Angela.”
Dante grinned merrily. “So what are you waiting for then? Ah, but you’d be breaking one of your rules, wouldn’t you? Like the one you just brought up a few minutes ago – how you don’t poach on other men’s women.”
“Fuck that.” Nick pounded his fist on the table hard enough to start the plates and cutlery shaking, and forcing Dante to grab wildly at his wine glass. “She doesn’t belong to him. Angela was mine first and I’ve decided to re-claim my property.”
“Uh, uh.” Dante was shaking his head emphatically. “See, that’s part of the attitude adjustment you need to make, Nick. You don’t fucking own people. Angela is not nor has she ever been your property, your possession, even though that’s how you treated her four years ago. Relationships are all about equal give and take, and not these one-sided affairs that are all you’ve ever known. And until you’re ready to accept that – and actually do something about it – Angela would be a hell of a lot better off if you just left her alone.”
The look on Nick’s face was grim. “I know that. Damn it, why do you think I left her four years ago? Of course she’d be better off without me in her life. The problem is, she hasn’t been, at least not from what I’ve seen. And the even bigger problem is now that I’ve seen her again, I can’t stand the thought of not having her with me.”
“Well, then, you’d better get your shit together, Nick. Nobody’s saying that relationships aren’t a lot of hard work. But you at least need to be willing to try and
do
the work. From where I’m sitting, it sure as hell doesn’t look like you’ve reached that point yet.”
Nick heaved a sigh of frustration. “I’ve always admitted to being a fucked-up bastard. And the real issue is I don’t even know where to start if I decide to change things.”
“Maybe you should try following my advice – stop analyzing, stop talking, and just fucking take her to bed. Maybe a week or two of nonstop sex will somehow magically fix everything.”
He regarded Dante dubiously. “Uh, huh. And you really think that’s going to just make all of the other issues disappear?”
Dante’s dark eyes twinkled mischievously. “Well, it’s a helluva good place to start, isn’t it? And it’s always worked for me in the past. Look at it this way, Nick – a week of hard, dirty sex might not make things better but at least you’ll have a lot of fun trying.”
***
Angela couldn’t help herself. No matter how many times she’d tried to convince herself over the past week that Nick wouldn’t
dare
show his face at Julia’s wedding, she hadn’t been able to keep from looking over her shoulder every so often just to make sure. She was furious that she’d allowed him to make her act all paranoid, on top of everything else he’d done, and she was still more than a little peeved at Cara for giving details about her personal life to that controlling bastard.
She peeked over her shoulder so often, in fact, that Lauren had finally snapped, “Who the hell are you expecting to see back there anyway – Freddy Krueger? A swarm of angry bees? Knock it off, Angie, would you? You’re starting to freak me out a little.”
So she’d tried not to keep sneaking furtive little glances wherever she went, tried to fight off the fear that Nick would actually have the nerve to drive all the way down here to cause trouble. God, that would be
all
she’d need this weekend, with not just Lauren and Julia constantly nearby but Dwayne flying down for the wedding, too. And Dwayne, of course, knew exactly who Nick was and wouldn’t hesitate to clue Lauren in if she inquired. And then – well, then all hell would definitely break loose.
Angela breathed a sigh of relief when a discreet inspection of the banquet room at Casanova – the trendy Mediterranean restaurant in Carmel where Julia and Nathan had chosen to hold their rehearsal dinner – revealed no unwanted guests were present. But her paranoia wouldn’t go away quite so easily, and when she had to make a trip to the ladies room she all but dragged Lauren along with her. If anyone could defend her from Nick, it would be her best friend. Lauren would never –
‘God, stop it!’ she told herself angrily. “You don’t need to be defended from anyone. Nick is not going to just pop out of some corner and maul you. And even if he did, you’re a big girl, Angela, and you sure as hell can take care of yourself!’
She felt better, more confident, after the little pep talk she gave herself, and was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening. Both Julia and Nathan had wonderful families, everyone seeming to get along and enjoy each other’s company. There didn’t appear to be any of the gossip, bickering, and petty jealousy that always seemed to be going on at her own family gatherings. And since she’d always felt closer to Julia’s parents than her own, it wasn’t so surprising for her to pretend for this one night that she was an actual member of the McKinnon family.
Dwayne seemed to fit right in with everyone, especially Nathan’s younger brother Greg, who had also competed in track during his school years. Dwayne, in fact, got along with everyone she’d introduced him to so far, including her own family. Her parents had declared him a “nice young man”, though admittedly her mother hadn’t been thrilled to learn he was an athlete by profession – and a poorly paid one to boot. Dwayne was good natured enough not to mind when her aunts and sisters gave him the third degree, and had quickly bonded with the sports-crazy male members of the family.
It was just too bad, thought Angela with regret, that Dwayne was more like the brother she’d never had than her boyfriend. And that, despite her mother’s not so subtle hints, he would never be her fiancé, much less her husband.
Dwayne dropped her off at her parents’ house after dinner before continuing on to his own family home. He’d begun to hint lately that maybe they ought to consider taking their relationship to the next level – namely, sleeping together. Angela had been startled and completely caught off guard, and had only been able to stammer and stutter in response.
And even though her parents were out of town at present – this time on a cruise to Alaska – Angela had discouraged Dwayne from staying at the house with her as he’d initially suggested.
“It’s just – well, that place doesn’t hold very good memories for me,” she’d explained. “I wouldn’t want – well, I’m sure you get the idea. Besides, you don’t get to see your own family all that often these days so I’m sure they’d be disappointed if you didn’t stay with them.”
And while Dwayne had readily agreed with her rationale, Angela had been guiltily aware that she’d been almost desperately scrambling for delay tactics. But she simply wasn’t ready to become intimate with him – or with any man. Even though it had been nearly four years now since she’d had sex – since that fateful night of her twenty-third birthday – she had no intention of ending her self-imposed celibacy until she was good and ready. And since the affection she felt for Dwayne was strictly on an emotional level, there was really no chance of him ever being the man to end her four year drought.
There was, in fact, only one man she’d met over the last few years who’d touched her on any sort of physical level – the only man who’d ever truly done so in her entire twenty-six years.
‘Damn that Nick. It always comes back to him, doesn’t it?’ she thought bitterly. ‘He’s definitely ruined me for anyone else. And apparently the only way I can deal with that fact is to either give in or get out.’
Get out of the office, that was. She’d given the matter some serious consideration as of late, had even done some very casual checking into rental property and real estate around both the San Jose and Oakland areas. Both of those cities had a large branch office of Morton Sterling, and she’d be able to transfer to either of them while still retaining all of her clients. Such a move would remove her from Nick’s path and allow her to return to a life without him in it, a life where he wasn’t constantly tormenting her and tempting her to come back to him, to be under his control again.
And there was no way he’d consider following her. Not when he had really just settled into his new offices with a new firm, was even now still assembling his team. Angela knew he had two associate brokers – who happened to be a married couple – along with an admin assistant, and all three had made the move with Nick from Jessup Prior. And, according to what she’d learned from Cara, a second assistant had just been added to the team. Rumor had it that Nick was still looking for a third associate and possibly another admin assistant, and that nearly every up and coming broker in the office was vying to join his team.

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