Shattered Assassin (22 page)

Kazia froze mid step, nearly falling over. “It was you.”

“What was me?”

“You let Harousse out so I could escape.”

He frowned. “Who in the world is Harousse?”

“My horse.” She motioned several yards ahead of them, where Harousse still grazed contentedly on the thick grass.

“That horse? That horse is named Noblesse.”

Kazia shook her head and continued walking. “Her name is Harousse.”

Luke finally gave her a lopsided grin. “Fine. Harousse.”

“So it was you.”

He just raised his eyebrows but changed the subject. “The guards aren’t after you to arrest you.”

“Yes they are. I heard them.”

“Kazia, they’re sworn to protect you. Benjamin took over Captain of the Guard knowing what you are and what you were about to do. He still swore to give his life for you. In fact, I think he was impressed.”

Kazia bit the inside of her cheek, fighting a smile. “So Benjamin was fine with what I am but you could never be. I see.” She nodded and turned to go.

“Kazia! Will you hold still a minute and listen to me?” Luke threw his hands in the air before coming after her.

“No, Luke. I’m exhausted. I need to go home.”

“Well, we’d get there a whole lot faster if you’d stop and listen.”

Kazia finally turned on him, her hands on her hips and glared. “Fine. What?”

“For one, I resigned and couldn’t be reinstated without you appointing me, so the job fell to Benjamin automatically.”

“And you delighted in telling him exactly what a monster I am.”

“No, I told him because I was upset and drunk.”

“You—” She raised her eyebrows, unbelieving. “…were drunk?”

“Kazia, I just lost you
again
. For like, the third time in as many weeks and the fourth or fifth time in my life. Of course I was drunk. How many times do you think a man can go through that and survive?” he exclaimed. Kazia just blinked at him. “Even if I wanted to be Captain of the Guard again, it’s only to be near you, to protect you. But if it means losing you, I won’t do it. Even if I—” He blinked several times, his eyes scanning the surrounding forest as if looking for answers before landing back on her face, “Even if I have to be a concubine or something, I’ll do it if it means I get to be with you.” He ducked his head, looking away and it reminded her so much of the boy she’d been so in love with that it nearly brought her to her knees. “That is, if you’ll forgive me and give me another chance.”

She sucked in a breath, trying to not black out. “Luke, I am a mess. And you’ve hurt me so many times. I just don’t know if I can live through another one.”

Luke’s face paled, but he caught her chin, pulling her face up so he could meet her eyes. “I’m not giving up, Kazia. Not again. I know what it feels like to lose you completely. Watching you with Randolf nearly killed me. I will wait for the rest of my life if I have to.”

She smiled, rolling her eyes. “You’d be a ridiculous concubine. They’re supposed to be docile.”

His face lit up like she’d just promised him the world, and she shook her head. “I’m the heir-apparent, and there are no other heirs. I have the backing of one of the most formidable militant kingdoms in the world, one who no one else would dare go against. I think it’s safe to say I make my own rules, Luke.”

“Does that mean… you’ll give me a chance?” he whispered.

“It means I have to get home alive first. And then we’ll see.”

Luke jerked back like she’d hit him. “Oh! The guards!”

“Yes, the guards are hunting me for murder. Haven’t we been over this?” She started back toward her horse, euphoric and exhausted all at the same time.

“No, they aren’t after you for murder. We were trying to find you — There’s a rumor that you’re dead.”

Kazia nodded. “I know. The tavern owner told me.”

“Kazia, if you’re dead, and there’s no heir…”

Kazia froze in her tracks yet again, her heart in her throat. “If I’m dead they’ll start fighting for my kingdom.” She spun on him. “We have to get home! Tonight!”

“We have to get home, yes. But we won’t make it tonight. The sun will be rising soon. We’ll go as far as we can before then and take shelter. Half of the guards went home to try to dispel the rumors. Benjamin, Heath, and some of the others refused to leave without you.”

Tears threatened to overwhelm her. “They stayed for me?”

Luke sighed, shaking his head as he led her down to Harousse. “Kazia, when are you going to realize — these people love you. Everyone loves you.” He stopped, pulling her against his chest. “I love you. I always have. I always will. No matter how hard I run from it, it’s always there. I’m done running.” He lowered his face, brushing a kiss against her lips ever so gently. “Please, Kazia.”

She melted, and when he pulled away from her she nearly collapsed in an undignified heap to the ground. “Luke? We have to go home before a war starts. You can’t kiss me like that again.” He smiled but she shook her head. “I’m serious. Promise?”

He shook his head ruefully, a smirk playing around his lips. “I promise.”

Several minutes later they were racing down the hill — Kazia on Harousse, and Luke on his big black horse that he had refused to let her name. “We’ll try to catch up with the others before the sun is too high.” He glanced back at her, worried.

“The tunic and mask cover me well enough that I should be fine in the sun.”
As long as I don’t collapse first.
Because now that the adrenaline had worn off and the assassin had retreated, the pain was rushing in, attacking her joints and her muscles. If she didn’t get it under control, it could attack the things that made her live — and she wouldn’t live anymore. She didn’t say anything, though, just tried not to grimace every time she rocked on the back of her horse, and wished fervently for a saddle.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

_T
HE SUN WAS HIGH
in the sky when her eyes wouldn’t stay open any longer. Luke, as if sensing her exhaustion, rode by her side. Riding during the day kept them safer from wolves and bandits, but Kazia’s allergy to the sun made it just as dangerous. Add to that the fact that neither of them had slept for over twenty-four hours, and she wasn’t surprised when Luke said, “We need to stop,”

“We can’t…” she mumbled, but she couldn’t even hold her head up. “We’re so close, Luke.”

“Yes, we are, but it won’t do us any good if we get there and you’re dead.” He led them closer to the mountain, where there was shelter from the sun under the jutting cliffs rising above them.

She slid off her horse and tied her while Luke unraveled his bed roll and set up camp, gathering sticks and shrubs for a fire. The air was already crisp with chill but with the setting sun it would be even colder. Kazia dropped her pack next to the fire and sat on the ground with an unceremonious thunk, unfastening her bedroll from the bottom of her pack and shaking it out. As she laid it next to Luke’s, it finally occurred to her exhausted brain that it was just the two of them. It was wildly inappropriate, even more so given her history with him, and well, her feelings for him didn’t help either.

Luckily, she was too tired and in too much pain for anything inappropriate at all to happen. All she wanted was to curl up in a ball and sleep for a week. “I’m gonna be a horrible queen,” she muttered.

Luke eyed her from across the fire, where he knelt warming their dinner. “You’ve decided this, have you?”

They hadn’t talked much during their ride. She’d been too tired and even if she hadn’t, she wasn’t sure what she would have said.
Hey, so we’re together again. Did you know I talk to my dead pet and my dead family? Oh you didn’t? Yeah, that’s about as insane as me being an assassin, isn’t it?
She blinked, realizing she’d forgotten to answer him, what with the internal conversation she was having. “Yes. How can I be queen if I can’t be stressed without it nearly killing me and I’m allergic to the sun? What kind of queen will that make me?”

Luke got up and handed her a bowl of something steamy and she wrapped her hands around it, letting the warm air soak against her face.

“It will make you whatever kind of queen you want it to make you.” He settled next to her, kicking off his boots and unstrapping his sword. “Your disease doesn’t define you, Kazia.”

She leaned against the smooth rock of the giant mountain behind her, looking up at the sky. Clouds were rolling in, obliterating the moon and the stars. It would be a dark night to travel through, and she was determined to only rest a few hours before they started again.

He bumped her with his shoulder, gently, although she still almost spilled her soup. “I mean it.”

She gave him a weak smile. “I know you do.” They ate in silence, watching the coyotes prowl through the high grasses in the valley below them, and Kazia didn’t even realize she had fallen asleep until she felt Luke pulling her blanket over her and prying the soup bowl out of her hand. She snuggled down deep, trying to hide from the chill that seemed to sink into her bones, and was out again.

She was cold. So cold. Her entire body shook so hard her teeth felt like they might shatter. The cold was coming from the inside out, which was a very bad sign and also meant it would be very hard to get warm.

“Kazia. Kazia?” Luke’s voice was groggy as he shook her shoulder, but all she could do was whimper. There was rustling of bedcovers as he dragged his bedroll right next to hers and then flopped the blanket over on top of her. She wanted to object — how would he not freeze without a blanket? But her mouth was too busy chattering to form words. And then he lifted her blanket and slid under the covers with her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tight against him. He was fully clothed, as was she, and she knew she should probably object but the warmth was so wonderful she didn’t care if the whole kingdom saw her like this. As her shivering subsided, just a bit, she could feel his heart pounding underneath her palms. It was hard and fast, and his breathing was slightly ragged.

“Kazia, if you hadn’t made me promise…” He trailed off gruffly.

“If I hadn’t made you promise we would both be in trouble right now, Luke,” she whispered. Half her brain was begging him to kiss her, but the other, more logical side of her brain was pleading with her to go back to sleep.

He seemed to be having the same dilemma, and after several seconds he cleared his throat, once, twice, and finally after the third time, he spoke. “Sleep, little princess. We’ll ride as soon as it warms a bit.”

She forced her eyes closed and her tired body took over. Sleep, thankfully, came quickly.

The sun was just rising over the mountains, but they had been riding for hours when her horse snorted, throwing its head back and pawing at the ground. “What’s the matter with you?” she muttered.

“Don’t —don’t look,” Luke said, jerking his horse in front of her.

“What? What is it?” Luke dropped to the ground, pulling her horse and his past what she first thought was a pile of debris. And then her heart stopped in horror. It was a family of wolves, torn apart by hunters. She choked on a sob, pressing her fist against her mouth.

And then the smallest sound — a whimper of pain or maybe fear. Luke’s head jerked toward the carnage and he let go of the horses, rushing over. “Kazia! This one’s alive!” She slid from her horse, keeping a tight grip on the reigns because Harousse was still skittish. Luke cradled a little black wolf pup, not even as big as his hand, against his chest. It was bloody and shaking. “Is it hurt? Is that its blood?“

Luke came over to her, holding it toward the light, but there were no wounds. “She’s not injured. And Kazia, look.” He gently turned the pup’s face toward her and she cried out — a gray face peered back at her, with one green eye and one brown and it batted at her with a huge paw. Kazia hugged the baby to her chest, Luke and all, and for once she didn’t even try to hold back the sobs.

She carried the pup with her, wrapped in her cloak because it was small and shivering.
Such a little thing
—
but look at those paws! Nakomi had big paws too
, Kazia thought fondly, stroking the tiny face.

“Captain!” Behind her, pounding hooves startled her out of her thoughts and she nearly fell off Harousse. Luke pulled up on his horse and it stamped its feet impatiently. Kazia’s exhausted brain was thinking she really needed to name that thing — she couldn’t keep calling it
it
.

Benjamin rode up, pulling hard on the reins, Heath right behind him. “You found her!” Heath crowed like Kazia wasn’t sitting right there.

“She was where I thought she’d be.” Luke glanced at her and smiled. Of course he would remember the place.

“We received word from the others. They made it back to the castle but emissaries from three other kingdoms are there, demanding proof of your existence, your highness.”

“Oh no.” Kazia groaned.

“The only thing stopping them from claiming your kingdom for their own is King William,” Heath interjected, a grim smile on his face. “He came immediately after you left his kingdom, guessing there would be trouble… I guess.”