Shattered Dreams (38 page)

But she refrained. No way she’d ever be satisfied with just one taste. Tonight Jason hadn’t bothered concealing his potent thoughts, and her craving had increased a thousand times.

“Now that the dishes are done, let’s go find them.” She shoved her disturbing feelings away and grasped Amelia’s hand.

Later as they were playing cards, Claire sat across the table from Jason. With Chloe on her right and Amelia on her left, Claire ignored the signals his body kept sending. Relief swept through her when the clock chimed nine.

Chloe clutched her hand. “Will you tuck me in, Auntie Claire?”

Her stomach tightened. “Sure,” she said, giving in to Chloe’s shy smile and pleading look, and allowing the child to lead her toward the bedrooms with Jason and Amelia following on their heels.

Together, as if they’d been doing it every night since they were born, Claire and Jason tucked the two girls into bed.

On the way out of Chloe’s room, Jason clasped her arm, halting her progression. “Don’t run off just yet.”

“Why?” She turned around to face him and sucked in air. Holding her breath, she steeled herself against his intense blue gaze.

“You know why.”

She did. Her tummy did somersaults as she closed her eyes and nodded. It took several deep breaths for her to finally compose herself. At the same time, she prayed he wouldn’t be able to hear the rapid thumping of her heart.

How she wished those eyes of his didn’t affect her so. If only they didn’t convey so eloquently everything she wanted, she could resist them.

Jason led her to the family room sofa and sat, pulling her next to him. “Claire—” He broke off, cleared his throat, and scrubbed a hand through his hair.

The uncertainty and nervousness she noted startled her. She was nervous and uncertain too, but she didn’t expect it of him.

“I promised you time. Hell, I’d give you all the time in the world, if—” He broke off again, gazing into her eyes. “Damn,” he muttered. “I know I promised, but I can’t. Please?” he begged, right before his lips found hers.

His kiss was soft, warm, and loving. All resistance fled while those lips swept her off to someplace where she didn’t have to think about her house blowing up, or Carl being killed, or the girls’ mother lying in a coma, or the fact that the same woman was responsible. All Claire wanted was to sink into Jason’s heat and forget. Everything.

“Say yes,” he said, lifting his head and holding it an inch from hers. “Spend the night with me. Let me love you.”

The desire in his voice matched the yearning in his eyes when she opened hers to find him still staring with fervent intensity. She nodded, staying mute. Words wouldn’t form, the vowels and consonants sticking on the lump in the back of her throat.

Then, as if in slow motion, his lips moved the last inch, vanquishing any remaining thoughts of denying his request.

She moaned. Her mouth melded with his as she let go of her resistance, unable to stop from responding to the demanding thrust of his tongue.

Until reality rushed into Claire’s consciousness.

How had this happened? They hadn’t even had the sanity to go behind closed doors. The girls could walk out and see them lying on the sofa.

She pushed away, trying to break loose, but Jason gripped her hips. “Where are you going?”

“To my room.”

“Huh-uh.” He shook his head. “You’re staying with me tonight.”

Annoyance ran up her spine as it stiffened. “You forget.” She met his heated gaze with defiance in hers. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

While one hand held her in place, his other moved up and down her body, soothing her. Feeling those fingers gentling her, she couldn’t hold on to her anger.

When he pulled her closer and his lips grazed hers, all anger dissipated, especially when he whispered, “I’m not telling. I’m asking.” He kissed his way along her neck to her ears. “Please stay. I need you tonight.”

She closed her eyes.

“Can’t you feel how much?”

She opened her eyes and nodded. God help her, she needed him too. She craved human contact and would give herself this. But she couldn’t think beyond.

Jason stood and held out his hand.

Like quicksilver, memories of him doing the same thing so many times in their brief association flooded her brain. Doubts fled as they linked fingers.

That night, their lovemaking was slow and languid. When the high of her orgasm abated and her heartbeat and breathing slowed to a steady rhythm, tears threatened. She hadn’t stayed detached. Worse, she wasn’t certain she could undo the damage.

“Shush,” Jason whispered. He pressed his lips to her brow and wrapped his arms tighter around her. “Why are you crying?”

His soft question only made her feel worse. She shook her head, unable to speak. How could she tell him about her misgivings? That while she understood Jason and his girls needed her, she wasn’t certain if a relationship with him was what she needed?

“You can’t tell me?”

There was so much love spilling from his steady blue gaze. She didn’t want to hurt him.

“I don’t know if this is what I want.”

She felt him stiffen as he slowly sucked in air. Then his expression went blank, right before her eyes.

He leaned back and closed his eyes, taking her with him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

The emotion in his voice brought on fresh tears, and again he soothed her. “It’s okay. We’ll get through this.”

“What if I can’t give you what you want?”

“That’s not your problem. Now go to sleep.”

“I shouldn’t stay here.” The last thing she wanted to do was sleep in his arms. Like that would help her detach?

“You’re not leaving.”

“What about your kids?” she asked, hoping he’d see reason. She tried to pull away to no avail.

“There’s a lock on the door. I’ll set the alarm and get you back to your room before they wake.”

“Jason—”

“Go to sleep.” He kissed her cheek when she bristled. “I’m not letting you leave tonight.”

• • •

The next morning, Claire woke up alone in the guest room with vague memories of Jason carrying her there. Smiling, she stretched, remembering the way he’d kissed her before he left. Why did she feel so great when she still hadn’t figured out her course?

After showering and dressing for work, she strolled into the kitchen to see him busy cooking, laughing and joking with his girls.

“What’ll you have?” He handed her a cup of coffee.

“Whatever you’re cooking. Smells good.”

Claire leaned against the counter and observed him. Even with an apron tied around his dress slacks, he looked like a walking sexual fantasy. Every girl’s dream man. At least hers. He definitely gave her good dreams.

She shouldn’t be this happy. Nothing was settled between them. In fact, now she was more confused.

Still, she couldn’t deny the sense of belonging when Jason handed her a plate of food and Chloe patted the seat next to her, saying, “I saved your spot.”

Chapter 56

Later that morning, Claire passed her assistant’s desk on her way back from a sales department staff meeting.

“Morning.” She glanced at Amy. “Anything going on I should be aware of?”

“Good morning.” Amy jumped up and followed her into her office. “Gwen wants to see you when you come in.”

“Thanks,” Claire murmured, taking the cup of coffee she offered.

Amy left as Gwen sauntered in.

“Good, you’re in. How’re things?” She sat on the edge of the desk as usual.

“Work’s fine. Sales are strong.” Claire sat, placed her elbows in front of her with her chin on laced fingers, and grinned. “Twenty percent ahead of last year. New catalog’s effective. Give yourself a pat on the back. We did it again.”

“That’s great.”

“I’m happy. Last year’s sales were high, so I wasn’t expecting such increases. We should celebrate. Wanna do lunch?”

“Sure. I’m always up for lunch if the boss is springing.”

“Okay. I’ve got a few things to get done, and then we can go.”

Once Gwen left, Claire picked up the phone.

“Hey, CG. It’s me.”

“Claire?” Crystal asked with laughter in her voice. “What’s going on?”

“I need to get away for a couple of days. Wanna join me on my boat for a weekend in paradise?”

Snyder had released the sailboat at the beginning of the week, and she hadn’t wanted to think about what needed to be done after the investigators got through with it.

Crystal sighed. “You know I hate sailing.”

“Please. I’m sure the boat’s a mess, but I can’t face it alone, and I’d rather not include Jason. He’s got enough with his girls and his kitchen.” She stopped short of telling her sister the real reason. She needed distance.

“Besides,” she said, “there’s not much wind this time of year. Seas will be flat, and you can work on your tan.” July always brought the dreaded doldrums—an invisible meringue of hot, still, moisture-laden air that even a knife would have trouble cutting through. “I have a compressor and air-conditioning below. Evenings should be nice. We can anchor in my favorite spot.”

Claire held her breath. Sensing Crystal’s wavering, she added, “It’s an opportunity to be together. Say yes.”

“Okay. I suppose so. But can we talk about it tonight? I’m due in court in twenty minutes.”

“Sure. Call me when you get a chance.” Claire hung up, grinning. She could count on Crystal.

Two hours later, a waiter led Claire and Gwen through a maze of tables.

“Is this okay?” He set the menus down when she nodded and sat in the chair he’d pulled out.

“Bring me up-to-date,” Gwen said as she sat down across from her.

Claire took a few minutes perusing the menu, decided quickly on the shrimp pasta, and placed the plastic folder on the table before sighing.

“So much has happened. Where do you want me to start?” She met Gwen’s earnest gaze.

“You said they think Mr. Roberts’s ex-wife did it?”

“Everything points that way.” Claire spent a moment detailing the events of the past week, and ended with, “She’s still in a coma. The doctors aren’t sure she’ll wake up.”

“It’s so unbelievable.”

Gwen looked up expectantly when the waiter strode up to the table with his pad and pen ready. She waited until he’d taken their orders and was out of earshot before leaning closer.

“So, Carl was having an affair with her?”

Claire nodded. “According to Jason, Elise told him he’d asked her to marry him. He and Snyder think they were in on the scheme to disappear and something went wrong, which is why she killed him. God only knows why she burned my house. If she doesn’t wake up, we’ll never know.”

“What about Crystal?”

“What about her?”

“Don’t you think it’s strange now that you two are best buddies, that she says she and Carl never had an affair, when she offered evidence? Too coincidental.”

“Oh? How so?”

“You only have her word that the affair with Carl never took place.”

“You worry too much.” Claire picked up her linen napkin and spread it across her lap. “Crystal and I are as close as ever, and I trust her. In fact, she’s spending the weekend helping me with the boat.”

“I only hope you know what you’re doing. Just be careful.”

Gwen’s voice held warning, yet she simply didn’t understand Claire’s relationship with Crystal.

Chapter 56

Claire walked into the kitchen that evening to inform Jason about her plans for the weekend just as Jason hung up the phone. Dinner was long over, prepared using the new appliances that had been installed earlier in the day, and the girls were upstairs watching a movie.

“Was that the hospital?”

He nodded. The thin curve of his smile was a dim prototype. “She’s out of the coma.”

“That’s great.” Claire’s quick smile replaced concern. Then she sobered, remembering the woman was responsible for such horrible deeds. “Has she said anything about why?”

“No. She’s disoriented, still under sedation. She’s not making sense, and has no memory of what happened. Her doctor says he can’t predict the outcome. It could be permanent damage or something brought on by stress.”

Nodding distractedly, Claire started pacing, not sure how to approach the subject.

“What’s up?” Jason’s gaze narrowed. “You seem jumpy.”

Pursing her lips, she turned to face him and cleared her throat. “We need to talk.”

He stiffened slightly. “About?” he asked cautiously.

“Snyder’s released my boat and I want to check on it.”

“Okay. Let’s make a day of it on Saturday. Include the girls.”

“No. That won’t work.”

“Why not?” His potent blue eyes held her captive. “They love sailing, and I can use a break from working on the house.”

“Because I’m going alone.”

“Oh?” His eyebrows rose.

“Well, not totally alone. Crystal’s going too. We’re spending the weekend sailing.”

“I see.”

Her gaze strayed to the floor, unable to keep meeting that expressive stare belying his words. He clearly didn’t see.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, averting her gaze. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I need to get away. To think. To decide what I want and where I’m going.”

She broke off and started pacing. “It’s time I left. I appreciate all you’ve done. Really, I do. And now that we know about Elise and she’s on the mend, I’m not in any more danger, so I don’t need to be here. Please try to understand.”

He stood stock-still for a drawn-out moment.

Finally, she risked a glance. Big mistake. He’d cranked the volume. Despite the heat searing from his intense expression, a small chill trickled down her spine. The man always could see right through her, see deep enough to reach her . . . her what? Her soul. She always felt Jason Roberts could see her soul, and right now she could see his.

She swallowed hard. Tried to breathe, but her lungs seemed paralyzed.

“I will on one condition.” The grin he gave her only added to her unease.

“What condition?”

Her spine straightened. She wasn’t afraid of Jason. But when he started moving toward her, causing her to back up slowly until the small of her back hit the counter, she had to rethink that. She was afraid of what he made her feel.