Shattered Dreams (The Believe Series Book 1) (8 page)

Two Months

Present Day

“
F
ucking men,” I yell out to the empty room as a single tear escapes. Two months. That’s how long it’s been since I last heard from Gage.

The night he left for work was the last I had heard from him. Since then, my life has spun out of control. I’ve tried calling and texting and at first it went to voice mail. However now, it doesn’t even ring and my texts go unanswered.

I have important news to tell him and I’m scared. I know that if something bad happened to him Jareth would tell me. Wouldn’t he?

Shannon is so wrapped up in being pregnant and dealing with Jareth, that I haven’t seen her since she stormed out my apartment door. Then to make matters worse, Rick has entered my life again. If I wasn’t scared before, I am now.

There’s something wrong with him. Something’s not quite right. I know I haven’t seen him in years, but still, I just know that I will need to watch my back. On top of that, the night Gage left, Rick was standing
in
my apartment. He still won’t tell me how he got in.

My cell rings and I jump out of my skin. Looking at the screen I see that it’s Gage’s name. I smile but I’m still pissed at him.

“Where in the fuck have you been?” I demand answering the phone.

There is an unfamiliar laugh and then, “Is that how you talk to all your Gli amanti, Alicia?” It is a heavily laden Italian accent. I frown, pulling the phone from my ear to check that I didn’t read the screen wrong.

When I don’t respond he laughs again. “You read the screen correctly Amare,” he says. I look around the room. Can he see me? “Yes, Amare I can see you. I know what you are doing at all times. Det. Hinder should have stayed in Chicago to do the job he was assigned. Instead, he chose the job over you. Why do you think that is? His boss seems to be easily persuaded when the offering is right.”

My heart rate picks up and my breathing becomes shallow. I know now that Gage is in trouble. “Who… who is this?” I ask unsure of what else to say.

“Ah, forgive me,” he says. “I had assumed by now that Rick would have told you all about me; Angelo Facciolo at your service.”

I gasp, my hand covering my mouth. “The mob boss,” I whisper.

He chuckles. “A name among many,” he says. “However, I prefer
The Godfather
, if you will.”

“What… what do you want?” I ask, my hands are shaking and my stomach is doing somersaults. “Why do you have Gage’s phone?”

“So many questions Amare,” he says. “Why not ask the one question you really want the answer to? Is Gage still alive?”

I swallow hard. “Is he?” I ask in a small voice. If Gage is gone then my entire life is over.

He sighs. “For now,” he answers. “However, that could change. As Americans say, the ball in in your court. Your actions will decide whether or not I allow Det. Hinder to live.”

“My actions,” I repeat. “What do you want from me?”

“I want Rick Hinder dead and buried,” he answers. “I want the money he owes me and his head on display. Showing the world you do not cross me.”

I’m still not sure what he’s asking of me. Does he want me to kill Rick? Could I if that’s what he’s asking? I know Gage would kill if it meant saving me, but do I have it in me to do that same?

“Mr. Facciolo, I still don’t know what you’re asking of me,” I start, trying to keep my fear and anger in check. He doesn’t need to know how terrified I really am. “What exactly are you asking of me?”

“I want you to bring Rick Hinder to me,” he explains, “and the money. You do this, and I’ll let Det. Hinder go.”

Tears are streaming down my face. “Sir, I don’t have any money,” I say.

“I suggest you get the money,” he hisses, “If you want to see Det. Hinder alive. Rick Hinder and twenty thousand dollars, noon Friday, McCall’s Fish Market. Oh and Alicia, no police, understood?”

“Yes… yes sir,” I say and hear him hang up.

I sit looking at the phone wishing I could figure out how to fix all of this. I need Jareth’s help, but I don’t know how to get to him without being found out. I also can’t risk this alone, not being pregnant.

Unsure of what to do next, there’s a knock at my door. As I make my way to the living room I’m afraid to answer.

“Alicia, its Jareth, open the door,” I hear him through the door.

Relief fills me as I rush towards the door. The Gods have heard my prayers. Swinging the door open, my smile fades. Jareth has his finger in front of his mouth telling me not to speak. I nod, not sure what he already knows.

He takes my hand and motions with his head for me to follow. As I do, I close the door behind me. I’m in my pj’s and barefoot, but none of that matters. I need to help Gage.

Once outside, Jareth pulls me close, wrapping his arm around me and I cuddle into him. He leans down placing a kiss on my head and whispers, “We can’t talk until you’re safe, ok?” I nod and allow him to take me away.

As we’re walking down the sidewalk, I can’t help but be paranoid. I’m watching everyone around us, wondering who the bad guys are.

When we’re in Jareth’s car, Shannon’s sitting in the back seat and smiles sadly at me. “You ok sweetie?” she asks.

I look at Jareth, asking with my eyes if it’s ok to talk yet and he nods.

It’s then that the tears explode like an angry volcano.  I feel arms around me and he pulls me across the seat into his arms.

“Hush, Alicia,” Jareth softly says stroking my hair. “It’s ok sweetie. Gage is safe. We got him out.”

“I’m so scared,” I say as I cling tighter to his shirt.

I feel another set of hands on me from behind. “Jareth, let’s get her out of here and then you can explain,” Shannon says.

I feel Jareth nod and he pulls back a bit. Stroking my cheek he says, “Alicia, we need to get you someplace safe. Once there, I’ll fill you in on what’s happening, ok?”

I nod, pulling away. “It has to be ok,” I whisper, “I’m pregnant.”

Jareth’s jaw clinches as he pulls the seatbelt around me and latches it. Shannon pats my shoulder and then settles back. I see Jareth look in the rearview mirror and nod, then he fires up the engine and peels away from the curb.

***

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, I am being lifted into a set of strong arms. Opening my eyes I see that it is Jareth carrying me.

“I can walk Jareth,” I say, my voice horse and shaky.

He smiles down at me and kisses my head. “I know,” he says, “but I promised Gage that I would take care of you just as he would.”

I’m too tired to put up a fight or take in my surroundings. So closing my eyes, I wrap my arms around his neck and I lay my head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” I whisper.

He holds me tighter as I feel him nudge a door open. Setting me down he says, “Shannon, will you please get her a blanket and a glass of water?”

I open my eyes to see I’m sitting on a couch in the middle of a large living room. It’s dark and a little dingy.

I look up at Jareth and ask, “Where are we?”

“A safe house,” he answers, “just outside of Chicago.” I furrow my brows. As if sensing my confusion he adds, “I’ll explain more in just a minute. I just need to make a call first.” I nod as he presses a button on his phone.

“Ya, it’s me,” he says into the phone. “Yes, she’s here and so is Shannon.” He pauses listening to the other side. “Yes sir, I thought it was a wise decision to bring her along. With Alicia with me, they may go after anyone close to her.” He pauses again. “No sir. Tell Gage to stay put and follow the plan I set in place.”

Confusion is raking my brain. I wish someone would tell me what in the hell is going on, and then I feel Shannon at my side. I take the glass of water as she places the blanket across my lap.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less of him, sir,” Jareth says smiling. “Just tell him she is safe. I will check back in later.” Then he hangs up.

“Jareth, will you tell me what the fuck is going on,” I demand.

He takes a set next to me. “Alicia, I’m an undercover agent with the FBI,” he explains, “My job is to bring the Facciolo family down and anyone connected to them. Gage and his brother have been my main focus. However, things have changed. Now my main focus is you.”

In shock, I cover my mouth, “Oh god,” I gasp.

Gage

One Month Earlier

F
ucking corrupt cops
, I think sitting here tied to a chair, blood pouring from my mouth. Jake fucking set me up. He’s in fucking cahoots with Facciolo and my damn brother. If anything happens to Alicia I will fucking kill them!

Alicia
, I think. I can’t even protect her. My world would no longer exist without her. Without her, I am just a shell of a man. She gives my life meaning. She is my reason.

I need to get a message to Jareth. He’s the only person on the inside I can trust.

I laugh on the inside. He thinks he has me fooled, but I’ve know from the second I met him that he’s FBI. Those guys just have something about them that screams, “Hey, look at me, I’m a fed.” Ya, I know. However, that knowledge can’t get me out of this mess.

So, I’m sitting here, my ribs broken, lip split, and a raging fucking headache. Facciolo’s men did a fucking number on me, all because of Rick.

“Gage,” I hear shouting and gun fire, “Gage?”

“Here,” I yell back surprised and wince at the pain. I didn’t tell anyone but Jareth and Alicia that I was going to DC. Maybe Jareth was having me trailed.

An FBI agent bursts through the door, clad in the signature bullet proof vest and nine millimeter handgun. He talks into the wire on his shoulder, “Notify Agent Stein that I have located Det. Hinder.” He rushes to my side as several other agents rush in.

“Thank god we found you Det. Hinder,” he says releasing the knots in the rope. “Agent Stein knew the second you texted him that something was wrong. He put a tail on you.”

I rub my wrists. “And Alicia,” I ask, “Is she safe?”

He nods as he swings one of my arms over his shoulder. “Yes sir,” he answers, “Agent Stein has his eyes on her.”

“Take me to her,” I command.

“Sorry sir,” he says, motioning for another agent. “I am under strict orders to get you to the hospital and keep you out of Chicago until Agent Stein is ready.”

I wince when the other agent wraps my free arm over his shoulder. I glare at him. “Sorry sir,” he mutters.

Too beat up to argue, just yet, I allow them to carry me out of the building to the waiting ambulance. This conversation isn’t over yet. I
will
see Alicia, soon.

Truth and Trust

Present Day

“
Y
ou’re a what?” I ask in disbelief. I’m finding it difficult to follow what Jareth is telling me.

Shannon places a hand on my shoulder. “I was shocked too when he told me,” she admits. “You need to trust him, Alicia. Your life depends on it.”

I jump up and pace the room. “No,” I say shaking my head, “Just… no.  You wanna talk about trust? How about the truth that I was a job to Gage and apparently to you too. Then Gage goes and leaves me.” I’m fuming now as I step up to Jareth. Poking him in the chest I add, “On top of that, I find Rick in my apartment when gage dropped me off. I’m a fucking pawn, a fucking job!” I storm off towards the front door.

“Alicia, what are you doing?” Jareth calls after me. “I can’t let you leave. Gage would have my balls.”

I stop. With my hand on the door knob, I turn to look at him. Tears are falling down my face like large rain drops. “Both you and Gage used me,” I whisper. “More Gage than you, but I was still used. Gage said he loved me, but he lied. You have the nerve to tell me what I’m going to do or not do? How dare you? How fucking dare you?” Then I open the door and storm out, slamming it behind me.

Stumbling out into the darkness, unsure of where I am, I drop down under a tree and cry. I allow the tears, the hurt to pour out of me.

Even the betrayal with Rick never hurt like this does, and I know why. I never loved Rick, not really. As silly as it sounds, I fell in love with Gage that first night on his bike. The love and tenderness he showed me, it was all lies. I was just a job to him, a means to an end.

“Alicia,” I hear Shannon as she’s walking towards me. I look up to see she’s been crying too. “Are you ok?”

I laugh. Not because it’s funny, but because of the irony of it all. “Do I look ok?” I ask in return and then notice it; she’s starting to show. I absently start to rub my stomach and pray that everything will work out for the best.

She ignores my sarcastic remark. “Can I sit?” she asks pointing to the ground next to me and I nod.

As she’s crossing her legs I say, “There’s nothing you can say or do that will make any of this right or better.”

She shrugs. “I’m hoping you’re wrong,” she says.

Again I laugh. “So all of a sudden you’re rooting for Jareth?” I say not meaning to sound like such a bitch, but there it is.

“No,” she says, “At least not with everything. It’s just… well I don’t think either one of them really lied to you. Not on purpose anyway.”

“Really,” I question raising an eyebrow. “Then explain it to me, because all I’ve seen and heard has been lies and I don’t see anyone holding a gun to their heads.”

Shannon sits up straighter. “Truth for trust,” she says. “I’ll tell you a truth and in exchange you try to trust Jareth. What do you say?”

I study her for a second. I’ve known her for years now and not once has she led me astray. I do trust her, so maybe I should give this a try. For her to open up is unheard of.

“Ok,” I say, “But I can’t promise anything.” She nods and stares out into the darkness.

She’s quiet for such a long time that I start to think she’s changed her mind. Then she starts, “I was five the first time I remember my dad coming into my room,” she says with a quivering voice.

“Oh god,” I gasp. I knew she had a past, but I never thought it was this.

She takes a deep breath and continues, “At first, he just touched, but as I got older he would… he would take it further. When I would refuse him, he would beat me, and then whatever he had had planned for me would be worse. I soon learned to just go with it.”

“What about your mom?” I ask softly.

She laughs sadly and looks at me. Her face is soaked with the tears she can’t hold back. “She didn’t know at first. When she found out, she tried to stop him,” she answers. “He beat her so much.” Her voice cracks as she looks away and adds, “So fucking hard until she stopped moving. I saw it all. When he finished with her, he attacked me. I lay in the hospital for weeks afterward.”

“How old were you then?” I ask.

“I was fifteen when mom died and he went to prison,” she says and turns back to me. “I wasn’t the only one. There were other little girls he hurt over the years, and it’s my fault. If I had said something…” she shakes her head, “Living with this kind of guilt and fear, it makes having any kind of relationship difficult. You and Jareth were different.” She looks confused.

I place a hand on her shoulder. “You saw in us a dark past,” I offer, “Much like your own?”

She nods. “I never pressed you to tell me your story,” she says, “Because I know how hard it is to think about much less talk about. And Jareth, I don’t know, he’s never said, but I sense sadness in him.” She takes a deep breath, “You want more truth?”

I nod, knowing that this is the first step to her healing. “I’m here for you,” I say. “Your secrets are safe with me.”

“Jareth was the only man I have ever been with,” she whispers, “Except my dad. There was a connection there. One I had never felt before. I thought he felt it too. He made me feel special and safe. I had never felt safe before.”

I wipe my tears away. To think I thought my past was bad, look at what Shannon went through. Most don’t survive. Most succumb to suicide.

“The last thing you want is pity, so don’t take what I’m about to say as that,” I start, “I’m so sorry that happened to you, but you are not to blame for the others. Yes, what happened to them is terrible, but you were just a child and scared. I admire you strength and will. Thank you for telling me.”

She nods. “Thank you,” she says. “I know I’m really not to blame, but I still feel guilt. I think I always will.”

I shrug. “That’s a decision you will need to make,” I say. “I don’t have guilt. I have regret.”

“Regret?” she asks.

If we’re finally being honest, I guess it’s my turn. “I regret wasting my time on Rick,” I admit. “I was in love with the idea of love, and that I gave him the power to hurt me. I’ve wasted a lot of years holding onto a hurt that I created. A hurt that never would have happened if I had gotten my head out of the clouds.”

She bumps my shoulder with hers. “You know it’s ok to have your head in the clouds,” she admits. “You’re a romantic, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to love and be loved,” She looks down at her hands, twisting her fingers together. “At least you can love; I don’t even know what it is.”

I chuckle. “Being able to love isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be,” I say. “In fact, it kinda sucks.”

“So… so you do love him?” she asks.

I take a second before I answer. I didn’t want to admit it to myself before. “Yes, I do,” I say, “Although, it doesn’t matter now.”

“He really does love you,” she says. I turn and look at her. There’s no way she could possibly know that. “Jareth told me what Gage told him about you in school. Gage has loved you for a long time.”

“I’m not sure if I can believe that or trust him,” I say, “Not now that I had to find out from a mob boss that I was a job to him.”

“I can understand that,” she says. “Can you try to trust Jareth now? All he wants to do is keep you safe and put the bad guys behind bars.”

“I can try,” I say, “but I’m not making any promises.”

She stands and holds her hands out. “That’s all he asks,” she says, “Now let me help prego number two off the ground. We have a man waiting for us.” I laugh as I take her hands and stand.

“Very funny,” I say, “I take it you’re prego number one?”

“Damn straight,” she says smiling. “Let’s go see the wizard.”

Laughing, I allow her to take me back to the house. For some reason, I feel like I’ve dropped into one of my books and I don’t like it. Not one bit.