Shattered (Shattered #1) (14 page)

Joe removed the wire framed glasses from his face, and rubbed his eyes
as he crossed and uncrossed his legs. He studied me for a few moments before
opening his mouth. I was sort of shocked at what he said.

“I’d tell him I was proud of him. I’d tell him that no matter what he
chose to do in life, that he would be successful, because he cared. I would
tell him that I loved him, and that I wouldn’t go back and change a thing
because all those choices he had made, made him who he was. I’m sure no matter
what you think… your mom was proud of you. She sacrificed all that time, and
energy because she loved you. You were her daughter, and just by being her
daughter you made her proud,” he leaned back in his chair and placed his
glasses back on his nose. “You need to let go of the anger if you want to heal.
Your mom loved you. The sooner you stop punishing yourself for the sacrifices
she made for you, the sooner you can begin to heal.”

I tipped my head down, and stared at my hands that were twisted in my
lap. As Dr. Bertram’s words began to slowly sink in, my heart seemed to lighten
a little. “So what now?” I glanced up at him and released a breath I’d been
holding.

He smiled at me, “Now we set up a schedule. You can come back anytime
you need to, but I’d like to see you once a week at least for a month. Then
we’ll reevaluate where you are. Decide where to go from there. You may not
understand this now, but I’m proud of you Leah. You’re making a good decision
right now by agreeing to come back. We’ll get you back to normal soon. I
promise,” he smiled softly.

“I’d kinda like to be better than normal if that’s alright with you doc.
My normal kinda sucks,” I offered a weak smile.

“Fair enough,” he nodded as he stood, walked over to his desk, pulled up
his schedule on his computer, and searched for an appointment for the next
week.

ooooooooo

When I stepped out of his office, and back into the waiting room, Nick
was slouched in a chair. He sat up straighter, and blinked up at me as he took
in my appearance. It still baffled me that this man who I’d treated like crap
lately was still here… still taking care of me. I offered him a soft smile as I
stepped into his waiting arms. When they circled around me to hold me in a
gentle hug, I glanced up at him, and whispered, “Thank you,” before raising up
on my tiptoes to place a light kiss to him cheek.

“No problem,” he mumbled against my hair as he tighten his embrace.

I could tell as we were walking out of the office that this was a
beginning. A beginning to what… I wasn’t sure, but a beginning none the less.

Chapter 14

Leah

3 months later…

I had been going to see Dr. Bertram for three months now, and things were
slowly getting better. I wasn’t back to my former self yet but as the doc said,
“things were improving.” I never really understood how spilling your guts to a
complete stranger could help, but it did.

Each week, when I sat there rambling on about whatever was going on in
my life at the moment, it was liberating. It felt like someone was grabbing the
load I was carrying, and putting it on their shoulders for a few hours. Dr.
Bertram had a way with words. It was as if he knew exactly what to say to relax
me. I guess that’s why he was so good at his job.

As I walked out of his office a few hours ago, he had told me that I was
doing well enough that we could cut back on my sessions. He informed me that he
believed I’d be fine now, but if I ever needed him for anything just to call.
He’d meet me anywhere to talk about anything. It felt good knowing that I had
that power…the power to choose how things went from here.

ooooooooo

Pittsford was a ghost town tonight. It was Homecoming, and Nick along
with every other warm-blooded American were at the football stadium. I had
agreed to help my dad at the shop for a few hours before heading to the high school.
He had thought we’d be busy, I mean everyone knows that pizza and football go
together, but it was dead so to speak. We’d had three, yes three customers in
the last two hours, and it was the middle of dinner time.

“Why don’t you go on to the game,” my dad called as he came from the
kitchen.

I looked up from the table I was sitting at, “Are you sure? I don’t want
to leave you here by yourself.”

“I’ll be fine. You go meet Nick, and your friends. Don’t worry about me.
Have a good time. I’ll see you when you stop by next week,” he smiled at me and
tossed a rag in my direction. “Now Go!”

I grinned at him, and bolted toward the door. I missed hanging out with
my dad, but I was missing my friends now too. Things had been much better
lately. I’d moved back to Avery’s, and Nick and I had been trying to go out,
and spend time together.

Tonight, we were supposed to hang out back at mine and Avery’s place.
Nick, Cam, and Logan were going to meet us there after the game. I hadn’t
really seen much of Logan lately. Avery always kicked him out early. Last week,
I caught his bare ass sneaking into the bathroom to shower at 5 a.m. Avery
claimed that they were just sleeping together, Logan didn’t mean anything, but
I knew she cared. Avery may not want to like him, but the look on her face when
she talks about him says it all.

Logan on the other hand always has been a player. He and Nick were best
friends in high school. Nick the playboy on the football team, and Logan the
playboy on the basketball team. Once Nick and I had started dating, he and
Logan didn’t hang out as much. I had hoped that I didn’t have anything to do
with that, but their friendship seemed to have survived.

ooooooooo

When I reached the stadium, you could hear the thundering of shouts and
cheers all the way out into the parking lot. Nick had a winning team the last
three years. Conference champs two years ago, and this year they were sure to
make the playoffs. Pittsford hadn’t done this well in a long time.

I found Avery sitting about midway up, right behind the team bench. She
stood, and waved her arms to get my attention. As I made my way up the steps, I
watched Nick with his headphones and clipboard. He looked so in his element. It
was like he was meant for this. The team was on the five-yard line, and looking
to score for the third time so far.

“What took you so long?” Avery wrapped me in a hug just as the crowd
erupted again.

“Had to help Dad. I’m done for the night though,” I cringed as the
volume around me became ear piercing.

Avery bounced up at down, throwing her arms in the air, “Whooo hoo!”

“Maybe you should be down there with the cheerleaders,” I joked. Avery
was cheer captain when we were students here. She always had a big mouth.

“Naw, they’ve got plenty of help,” she rolled her eyes and shifted in
her seat uncomfortably.

“Huh?” I glanced at her as we sat down.

“Remember Becca Taylor?” she cocked her head to the side.

“OMG yes!” I groaned. “That bitch was always trying to get in Nick’s
pants. I think she made it her mission to break us up.”

“Well…check out who’s standing beside the team bench,” Avery nodded her
head toward the sidelines.

“What’s she doing here?” I gasped.

“She’s a trainer,” Avery scowled, but the only thing she seems to be
interested in is Nick.

Sure enough, Becca was standing at the end of the team bench. Every time
Nick would look in her direction, she would smile that flirty smile. She had
made my life so miserable the last few months that Nick and I were together
that all I could think about was knocking her teeth down her throat.

“Easy,” Avery teased. “I know you want to kill her, but you have to
trust him.”

“I do trust him, but she’s a bitch. I see she hasn’t changed at all.”

I nodded toward the two of them where Becca was now rubbing Nick’s arm.
He flinched slightly, and pulled away from her, but she wasn’t deterred. She
moved closer, and leaned up to whisper something in his ear. Nick scowled and
stepped back. I would have given anything to know what she said.

“She’s got some nerve,” Avery huffed. “He’s told her about you. I heard
him before the game when she came prancing down there.”

Just then the clocked ran out, and team ran off for halftime. “I’ll
squash that. Watch,” I stood and grinned at Avery as I made my way down to the
fence. Nick had yet to see me, so he didn’t even know I was approaching him.

When I reached the fence, I whistled, and leaned over as far as I could,
“Hey coach!”

Nick turned with his head still down looking at the clipboard. When he
glanced up, his face broke out in a huge grin. “Yeah?” he smirked.

“I need to ask you something about that last play,” Nick moved closer as
the team ran behind him heading to the locker rooms. “It seemed a little
dominating don’tcha think?”

“I thought you liked it when I was in charge,” he teased as he moved up
flush with the fence.

From where we were standing, me on the stands and him on the ground, we
were eyelevel. Becca was a few steps behind Nick, and glaring at me. I gave her
a knowing smile as I leaned closer and whispered to Nick, “I do love it when
you’re in charge. Maybe you can show me later.”

Nick groaned and leaned his forehead against mine, “You’re gonna make it
hard for me to concentrate on the game.”

“I like making things hard,” I teased as I leaned in and kissed him
lightly.
 

Before I could pull away, Nick dropped the clipboard, reached up, and
grabbed the back of my neck effectively holding me in place. The kiss turned
hungry and deep almost immediately. As his tongue dove in and tangled with
mine, I leaned further over the fence. I know things would have escalated if
the catcalls hadn’t started. It was as if a bucket of cold water had been
thrown on me. Whistles, hoots, and hollers came from every direction as our
make out session was now front and center. With the game on hold due to
halftime, everyone was watching us.

I pulled back, and grinned at him as he fought to control his breathing.
Becca looked furious. I showed her that bitch. He was mine, and I wasn’t going
to let her have the satisfaction of knowing she still got to me.

I gave her a smug smile before turning to head back to my seat.
Take that Becca. You may be on the field,
but you’re not in the game.

“There’s more of that later,” I called over my shoulder as I climbed the
stadium steps.

“I’m counting on it,” Nick chuckled as he turned to follow the team into
the locker room.

“Holy shit girl!” Avery giggled as I plopped back down beside her. “That
was awesome. She was fuming.”

“I know right?” I leaned into Avery’s side and laughed. “It felt good to
do that. I’d love to know what’s going through her head right now.”

“Who cares,” Avery rolled her eyes. “I wanna know how she ever thought
she’d get between you and Nick. I mean seriously…you two were made for each
other. No one had a chance with either of you.”

“I don’t know about that,” I sighed as I thought back to my time with
Will, my trainer in Atlanta. We’d dated for a few months, and things were good.
I think if I hadn’t gotten hurt, and come home that it might have worked. I’d
told Nick it didn’t mean anything, but it was part of the past. It didn’t mean
anything now, but it had meant something back then.

“Well, all I know is…nothing worked out for him after you left,” Avery
shrugged and took a sip of her soda.

“What are you talking about? Nick said there wasn’t anyone,” I turned to
glance at her.

“Shit!” she gasped. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, tell me!” I took her drink out of her hands and helped myself to
it. “How many?”

“A few, I guess. No one important enough to worry about. I mean, Leah
think about it…you were gone for five years. He didn’t know if you were coming
back. He spiraled out of control at first. How do you think men deal with
something like that? I’ll tell you…they drink themselves into a stupor, and
then they have sex with some random bar fly.”

My face blanched, “I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“Don’t say anything. I shouldn’t have brought it up. You’ve had enough
shit going on in your life these last several months to last a lifetime. Just
forget I opened my big mouth. You and Nick are back together, that’s what
counts.”

“Yeah, I guess,” I looked down at my hands and thought about what she’d
just told me. I hadn’t expected Nick to not find somebody, but I had hoped that
he would have said something to me. I knew that this was something we’d have to
talk about later, and I tucked it away as I watched the team along with Nick
come rushing out of the field house and on to the field to start the second
half.

ooooooooo

“So I’ll meet you at home in a little bit, ok? I’ve got to go and meet
Logan,” Avery called as she headed in the direction of the parking lot.

“Yeah, alright,” I waved as she disappeared around the end of the
bleachers.