Shattered Soul (35 page)

Reluctantly she followed him. Knowing he spoke the truth, she couldn’t walk around with her eyes closed forever, she nevertheless wasn’t keen on seeing her ghost.
Soul. Whatever. How bad was it going to be?

Fredrico glanced up at her as he stood aside and pulled her ahead of him to face the bathroom mirror above the sink. “Look.”

Crap. Here goes nothing
. As usual, once she’d made up her mind she didn’t hesitate. Her gaze went straight up to the mirror and she held her breath.

For several seconds she saw only her face. She didn’t see anything different except that her cheeks were flushed from crying, then slowly she saw the outline of more, a soft glow, and then her ghost face was overlaying her real face, and she faced her own soul.

Her green eyes were harder, but violet streaks filtered through them, softening the hardness of her eyes in the same way as Fredrico’s eyes had been softened. Her lips were still full, but tension was evident in her jaw line. There was a darkness dimming the outer edges of the glow. It was her face, only harder, more tension-filled, but with a mysterious softening from the violet. Undeniably darkness was there, too, hazed with orange evil. And... yes, there it was, almost discernable to the eye but there nevertheless, a dark haze behind her face, a dark shape that tossed its horns once before becoming still once again.

It was pure relief to see that her soul wasn’t twisted with pure evil. She was a harder, darker version of herself, touched heavily with darkness and evil, but softened also with the violet.

“You can’t live in both worlds and be unaffected,” Fredrico repeated from beside her.

Finally she understood. “I am me,” she said simply.

“You are you,” he agreed. “I am me. We’ve been through things no ordinary mortal would go through, we have something inside us that no mortal should have, but we also have something more.”

“The violet streak. From the witch woman.”

Fredrico nodded. “She touched you when she brought you back to sanity, she put something inside you. That something also went into me.”

“We’re linked.”

“Yes.”

She blinked and her soul vanished. She tried to focus it back into view but it didn’t reappear. “I can’t get it back.” Suspiciously she looked at him in the mirror. “Did you...?”

He laughed and walked out of the bathroom. “No, I didn’t. You’re not meant to see your own soul, Rani.”

She followed him out. “How many times have you seen your soul?”

“Once. Once only.” His eyes grew a little colder. “It was enough.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You saw it, Rani. Darkness isn’t appealing.”

Angling her head on one side, she eyed him thoughtfully. “I didn’t see dar Sne="+0">kness only.”

Folding his arms across his chest, Fredrico eyed her back cynically.

“You have a softer side.”

One dark brow arched sardonically.

“You fought with me. For me.”

Those ruthless blue eyes captured her gaze and he strode forward.

Rani held her ground as he came to a stop in front of her and even though she was taller than him by half a head, she felt the sudden darkness of his dominance which almost forced her to her knees with the unexpectedness of it.

His voice full of danger as he said quietly, “Don’t ever forget who I am, Rani. Yes, I fought for you, beside you, and it cost me my best friend. The ties that bind you and me together are strong, unbreakable even, but remember that we fight for The Overlord and at any time today he could have killed us both.”

“You’re saying if it came to a choice between me and The Overlord, you’ll kill me.”

“I’m saying that there will never be a choice. We are tied together as we are tied to The Overlord. We will fight side by side under his command. There’s no going back for either of us. Don’t mistake any softness in me for compassion.” His whole demeanour was as ruthless as his eyes.

“And yet,” she said softly, “you came when I cried.”

“The ties that bind,” he returned just as softly.

“You must have cared a little.”

His gaze slid across her face with a seriousness that rattled her as no lust could have affected her. His ruthless gaze locked again onto her eyes. “Yes, he said slowly. “I do believe you are right.” Abruptly turning away, he strode to the door. “Get some sleep, Rani. I’ll see you in the morning.”

And just like that he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him. The door that had been locked from inside. Bemused at both his actions and words, she walked across the room to study the lock. It wasn’t broken and she fiddled with it absentmindedly before flicking it over again, though she was certain there was no need to, considering that the space pirate could apparently come and go as he pleased.

Her sanctuary was no sanctuary from him.

In an attempt to take her troubling thoughts from Fredrico and everything that had happened, she walked back into the bathroom to study her face, but her soul didn’t reappear, no matter how hard she tried to focus. Giving up, she retreated to the window seat and looked out into the dark night.

Only now the night wasn’t deserted. Down in the courtyard below she saw shapes moving, twisted and visible even in the dark. Demons walked past the window, their great torsos gleaming.

One of the demons turned to look directly at her and she felt the tug of recognition. Ethmor smiled and it almost horrified her to find that instead of revulsion she felt kinship.

Damn it! Pushing away from the window, she strode to the bed. Grabbing the nightgown from beneath the pillow, she shrugged into it and slid between the sheets. Lying down she closed her eyes, sure she wouldn’t be able to sleep, but as the lights dimmed and flicked out automatically she slid into slumber.

~ * ~

Inner Sanctuary

Spirit Plane

White parted, tendrils drifting soft as gossamer, insubstantial but there nevertheless. Water tinkled from the fountain, and peace filled the space.

::Rani.:: Her name was spoken softly.

Rani looked up at the woman standing before her, her gown the same midnight blue, her hair as white as snow, her skin as clear as running water. Her eyes were as dark as space, and within them glittered millions of stars, both falling and rising, both steady and flickering.

She reached out her hand and Rani unquestioningly placed her palm in hers. The woman raised her from her kneeling position.

This had all happened before, in exactly the same sequence.

::And it will happen again:: the woman said. ::I will always be here when you need me, child.::

::Who are you really?::

She smiled. ::I am me, you are you.::

::I am me. But I’m not complete, am I?::

The star-filled eyes were full of wisdom and compassion. ::You are made of many things. You have the blood of the Reeka in you, the smoke of the demon, and the touch of evil::

::No hope, then.::

Lifting her arm, the woman cupped Rani’s chin and tilted her head back to gaze into her eyes. A shooting star soared across her fathomless eyes. ::And you have a streak of me in you.::

Warmth flooded Rani. ::My only saving grace.::

::You have much work ahead of you.:: Linking her arm through Rani’s, the woman turned and walked across the space. Flowers bloomed in her footsteps. ::Hard work. Distasteful work. Work which you and those tied to you need to do to save thousands.::

Cuddling closer to the warmth of the woman, drawing comfort from her presence as she would a child from her mother, Rani walked beside her. ::I know. I finally understand.::

They walked in companionable silence, passing one fountain and then another, each appearing from the gardens, flowers blooming in the whiteness, the space around them infinite.

::Your sister is safe:: The woman spoke gently. ::Your ties must be cut.::

Pain filled Rani. ::I know. As long as she thinks I am alive, she will look for me.::

::Yes. Even now her soul reaches for you, your blood ties strong. We cannot keep her asleep forever. Ceri’s pathway is not beside you.:: Stopping, she turned to face Rani and laid one hand gently on her cheek. ::The time has come to release her, Rani.::

It hurt so badly and the pain of it would have brought her to her knees, but violet washed through her, filling her with warmth and love, supporting her, and she took a deep breath and nodded. :: Let’s do it.::

~ * ~

Sounds, the murmur of male voices, and a soft female voice whispering from all around.

Ceri drifted through the fog, searching, trying to find a way out, and then suddenly she saw it, a dark shape coming. Coming to a halt, she peered through the fog, the dry white puffiness that drifted around her. And then Rani stepped out from between the fog.

With a cry of relief and pure happiness, Cer Sapppedi ran forward and threw herself into her sister’s arms. Crying and laughing, she clung to her, feeling her sister hug her back almost fiercely.

::I don’t believe it!:: she cried, placing her hands on Rani’s shoulders and pushing her back to look her over. ::Rani! Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you for so long!::

::Sister.:: Laughing, Rani cupped her cheeks, but her eyes were shadowed. ::

::Where have you been?:: Ceri slid her hands down to grasp her sister’s hands. ::I’ve been so worried!::

::I am fine.:: Rani smiled. ::Safe.::

::Safe? That’s an odd word to use.:: Frowning, Ceri studied her more closely. ::What’s wrong?::

::Ceri,:: Rani replied gently, ::I know you’ve been looking for me.::

::You knew? Then why didn’t you contact me?::

::Some things aren’t so easy.:: In a movement that only her sister could make gracefully, Rani held her hand out and moved it in a small arc. ::What do you see, Ceri?::

Ceri glanced around. ::Fog of some kind. It’s white and sort of peaceful.::

::Have you ever seen anything like this before?::

::No. have you?::

Rani’s smile was a little sad. ::Yes, I have. In fact, there are other places so much more beautiful than this that I have been to.::

::Beautiful?:: Ceri looked at her warily. “It’s nothing but whiteness and—oh!:: Stunned, she stared as the whiteness withdrew and bright sunlight flared, flowers springing up in abundance, the scent of their floral bouquet light in the air.

Nearby a fountain tinkled merrily, trees thick with green foliage cast their shade, and the brilliance of beauty in nature was everywhere to see.

::So beautiful,:: she murmured. ::Rani, is this where you’ve been?::

Instead of answering, Rani asked softly ::What do you think this place is, Ceri?::

::About as close to Heaven as one can imagine.:: Ceri laughed in delight, but when her sister didn’t join in, she turned her gaze from the multi-coloured flowers to see her sister watching her with a small smile and shadowed eyes.

Fear struck her and she gripped her sister’s hand tighter. ::Rani... what is this place?::

::Did you not just say so, beloved sister?::

::No.:: She wanted to deny it. ::Heaven? No, Rani.::

Rani didn’t say anything, she just continued to watch her with that small smile on her lips and sadness in her eyes.

Fear clutched at her. ::This can’t be... Rani, you’re not dead!::

Her sister squeezed her hand gently.

::No! No, I won’t believe-::

::Ceri:: Rani said softly. ::I can’t come back with you.::

A little piece of Ceri’s heart crumbled. “Rani, don’t say that.::

::Ceri, you have a life to live. Our paths are no longer the same.::

::You’re saying…No, you’re telling me you’re dead?:: Releasing Rani’s hand, Ceri Ss h widthswung away, but fear that her sister’s ghost would slip away if she didn’t have hold of her, made her swung back just as fast to grasp her hand once more. ::Rani, don’t say it. Don’t say it and it won’t be true.::

Rani laughed softly. ::Stubborn chit! You never change.::

::I don’t want to change. I don’t want you to change. I don’t want me to change!:: Wrapping her arms fiercely around her sister, she hugged her close, burying her face in her hair and inhaling the familiar scent of her. ::Rani, don’t say it.::

Her sister hugged her back, her hand smoothing down Ceri’s blonde hair as she spoke soothingly. ::There’s nothing that can be done, Ceri. Accept what has happened. I can’t come back with you.:::

A tear slipped from Ceri’s eye as sadness trickled through her. ::I can stay here with you -::

::You cannot stay, sister. It just cannot be. Please try to understand.:: Tears made Rani’s voice husky. ::I wish it could be otherwise. I would do everything in my power to change things, but what is done, is done. Ceri...:: Pulling back a little, Rani framed her sister’s tearful face with her palms and smiled at her, her green eyes sparkling with tears that she wouldn’t allow to fall. ::You have a life to live. Make me happy by living it.::

::While you stay here in Heaven?::

Rani’s gaze wandered around the beautiful forest with the green trees and colourful flowers, and when she again met her sister’s gaze, her smile deepened. ::Someone has to do it.::

It was so unexpected yet so like Rani to say something like that, that a half laugh broke from Ceri.

::Come now:: Rani wiped the tears from her sister’s face with her thumbs. ::You have the harder pathway, yes? For me, trouble is over. For you, well, life has some funny turns. I want to know that you’re living your life, not wasting time looking for a ghost.::