Shattering Halos (23 page)

“Hmm, you really believe in my skills, don’t you? I’m feeling all gooey and warm inside here. No—can’t do that. It’s block or no block. All or nothing, dude.”

Before I knew it, a giant arm clocked me in the head with such force that I flew to the ground. I couldn’t help chortling.

“Enough of your stupidity! I am
not
a dude, Cassiel.”

The jokes crossing my mind were hilarious. I had to work hard not to go there. “Right, sorry, bud.”

I must have convinced him, though, because the next thing he said was “Fine, Fallen One, show me what you can do.” He boomed out the command in his so not down-to-Earth voice.

Here we go. To act according to my nature shouldn’t be hard, though. I’d pull off ‘first class liar’ any day.

****

Gaia was in bed looking awful when I appeared in her dorm. The perfect occasion to showcase my opinion of Gabriel’s talents. Not that she meant much to me, but he did give angels a bad name.

The thing was, you either purposely killed the chick with the pleasure you gave her, or you stopped in time, which had her yearning for you until the day she died. Both perfectly fine options. What you just didn’t do was lose control like
he’d
done, only to deal with them withering into barely-there renditions of themselves.

Gabriel had my eyes rolling at the sheer stupidity of everything he did lately. Unbelievable how he kept tumbling lower and lower. Honest to God, he acted like a freaking human entrusted with powers he couldn’t control.

I raised the energy field around her room, making sure neither Grigori nor Celestials could penetrate our bubble.

The Free Fallen had developed this skill over centuries to protect our lifestyle. I loved how it reduced Heaven and Hell to mere spectators observing through a soundproof window.

Both of their armies had the means to shatter the shields if need be. Since they never did, most of our crimes and blatant immorality happened behind the barriers. It explained why so few of us had been deported to Hell.

Another handy component was that the audience would end up believing whatever you wanted—if you coaxed the right actors inside the energy field. Unfortunately, the last time Gaia had played a part with me, she hadn’t exactly exhibited amazing acting skills.

****

Gaia

I was still waiting for Marina when Cassiel appeared in all his glory by my bedside. He shot me one exasperated look and crackled his signature shield in place. Then, he started in on me.

“What the hell, Gaia. Were you planning to stay
alive
?”

“None of your business.”

“Well damn, I’ll kill you myself if that’s the goal! You mess up my existence anyway.” Stalking over to the study desk, he grabbed a charcoal drawing of Gabriel and flipped it into the air.

“You guys are pitiful. No waiting for a week, right?”

Too weak to answer, I let my index finger pop up in warning, but he ignored me.

“Guess what? With me, you would’ve been on your knees begging for more. Actually, on your hands
and
knees.” Cassiel’s cat eyes shot fire at me. “I should’ve just taken you back at the apartment.”

“You’re being ridiculous, Cassiel,” I whispered.

“Ridiculous? Don’t think so. If my intention had been to keep you alive after, I would’ve kept you breathing on purpose. Interesting concept, yes? Instead, thanks to your precious Gabriel—you, living—is pure luck.”

Cassiel crossed his arms. His annoyance melted into a sexy smirk. Too debilitated to move, I couldn’t act on the impulse to scream at him. Instead angry tears spilled as I sank further into the pillows.

“Shut up.” I croaked. “Get out of my room and don’t ever come back.”

The silence took over. Cassiel examined me with eyes gliding from the darkest of copper to the brightest gold.

“Okay, so enough about me. Go ahead and look like I’ve dazzled you into being calm and cooperative.” The lack of effect my command had on him was unbelievable.

“What? You expect me to put on a show? Now?”

“Yep. For Lover Boy.”

He knew how to press the right button. Deflating, I mentally prepared to follow orders when he botched it again.

“By the way, he’s a total amateur. You’ve got two thousand years of experience in front of you here, babe, in one nice package, and the offer of a free test drive still stands.”

“Crap, I don’t care about your stupid experience—I freaking
hate
you!”

He snickered merrily.

“Ah, she’s got spunk still. That’s nice. At some point, you might seem almost normal again!”

Calm down, Gaia, you can do this. Ommmm.

“Now, number one: I’m about to make-believe dazzle you. Number two: There will be some serious cuddling. Number three: I’ll ask for Celestial information, which you should give me in a dazed manner. All righty, sugar?”

The urge to slap him was overwhelming.

His gaze invaded me, but I could tell the impact of seduction simmered on the lowest burn he knew. It was the most thoughtful thing I’d ever seen him do.

The exhaustion lulled me. Looking dazed came naturally. Cassiel slinked under my blankets like a wicked cheetah and accommodated himself around me.

He covered us and whispered his updates in my ear like verbal love notes. The entire time, he skimmed my face and neck with his lips. My breathing became more erratic with his hands sliding down my body, and in a repeat performance from his apartment I stopped them in their tracks.

“Drop the games, please. We can’t afford to mess this up.”

“What? I’m just—”

“No, you’re not, Cassiel.”

His updates fascinated me in a morbid way. The next time I got to see Gabriel, I could tell him how step one of our scheme had been completed. From the Celestial side, though, I had no new information for Cassiel. He already knew that Gabriel had left for the First Gate.

The fatigue made my skin crawl, but my brain swirled with questions.

“So Ramiel’s thrilled that Gabriel hasn’t been punished for being with me. Why? How does it benefit the Grigori?”

Cassiel pulled away from my earlobe to study me.

“Oh right, you wouldn’t know about the Tomes.”

“Never heard of them.”

Cassiel recounted the story of the Grigorian Tomes, the six-volume black bible of Sataniel’s angels. Dedicated to the history of the Grigori, the books obsessed over options and possibilities of a conquest of Heaven.

“Does Gabriel know?”

“Ha, clearly not. My brother’s a total blabbermouth with you, so since you hadn’t heard of them, he hasn’t either.”

Like on Earth, Heaven and Hell worked off of quantities, Cassiel explained. Due to their superior number, Michael and his legions had defeated the Grigori during the War in Heaven. Sataniel had been trapping, tricking, and deceiving souls for millennia, and the scales were starting to balance.

Meanwhile, no Celestial angel had breached Heavenly Rules without instant punishment before. Gabriel had broken several and was still my guardian angel.

“The Tomes speak of ways the numbers of the armies can increase disproportionally.”

“How?”

“There are many ways. For instance, if a white angel like Gabriel changed from pure goodness without Celestial punishment, his imperfection would generate a million brand new demons.”

“What the…? Please, please tell me Gabriel would have to do more than just sleep with me for that to happen.”

“Yes, much more. He’d have to tip way toward evil instead of good. Even so, they say it won’t work unless the Celestials refrain from punishing him.”

“Is Ramiel expecting this to happen, you think?”

“Well, I can’t make sense of it. There are pieces missing in this picture. Gabriel doesn’t have a single, wicked streak in him. Sure, he’s acquired a few human traits—desire for you, anger, jealousy—and he should get his ass kicked out of Heaven for them. But I can’t see him choose evil.”

“Okay, but what if they somehow turned him evil and the one million new demons materialized?”

“The Grigori would be set. Heaven doesn’t welcome demons, and they are superior warriors. Good souls sway the scales less. They can add to the mix, but if you tried to measure demons up against them? Forget about it.”

Here I was, lounging in my dorm at a beautiful campus in Shades Run. Billions of people all over Earth were in danger of dropping like dominoes from the immediate effects of my actions. I shuddered.

At the moment, they lived in their own little worlds, dealt with their own microscopic problems with no idea of what I’d started. The afterlife was in jeopardy because of a stupid girl in love with her guardian angel. I could be the catalyst to the worst alteration of human existence possible.

I went into denial.

“Cassiel, you know what I don’t get, though?” I whispered.

“Nope, sure don’t.”

“How can that even happen? I mean, how can one single angel going evil without punishment trigger the creation of a million demons?”

Cassiel groaned with impatience. “Seriously? You want me to explain why there are stars too? How about why fish are different to people and what’s beyond space? The miracle of life? Do you want a believable explanation as to why the Boss created humans in the first place? Why he gave you guys freaking free will? Stroke of genius right there. Oh, and how about why he allowed Hell? Demons?” Cassiel was nodding in fake enthusiasm.

“No, I guess…” My stomach quivered, stalling a panicked titter. “Take it or leave it, huh?”

“Hell yeah. Even if I knew the answers, you probably wouldn’t be able to grasp them with your peanut brain. Mortals!”

“Hey, so uncalled for.”

“You were boring me.”

The fatigue finally overpowered me. I wanted to sleep like I hadn’t since the months in the hospital. A broken neck suddenly sounded so trivial. I feebly considered how uncomplicated life had been back then. My biggest concern had been to open my eyes and face my surroundings.

Cassiel’s final statement still broke through to me. “I need to become part of Ramiel’s inner circle to find out more.”

Time was ticking away briskly, and my heart jumped at the realization. Cassiel was right. He had to earn Ramiel’s trust fast!

Flaunting us in a hot embrace, he pretended to erase my memory. Then, he brought down the energy field and dissolved. My room seemed utterly insignificant after he left.

The half hour it took for Marina to appear, I spent in a haze of nightmares. Her presence shook me free and replaced the shadows with chattering, burgers, and fries. Marina made life seem easy.

Chapter 23 — Fear

Gaia

The first semester at Shades Run came to an end so quickly. Somehow, I had faked my way through classes, completed my projects, and for the most part kept my grades up despite living in two worlds.

Marina was the only one that knew the truth about Gabriel. I had told her where he’d gone, and the honest-to-God state of my mind. Occasionally, my dorm mates or Cody would inquire, but I deflected their questions by referring to a family emergency. Weeks passed without a word from Gabriel.

Marina. What a friend she was to me. After the last day of classes, we paid what my school called “the minimal winter break housing fee.” We stayed in town and blamed nonexistent workshops whenever our parents checked in with us. Even the boys remained in Shades Run thanks to Marina.

On the day before Christmas, Gabriel still hadn’t returned, and we finally got ready to leave for home. That night, Marina dragged me down to Johnny O’s. “He’s a freaking angel,” she said. “Dude doesn’t need you holed up in a dorm to find you.”

A terrible, local band named The Sugarcanes were hard at work ruining Christmas songs. “Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer” blared as we entered. The waitress caught the guitar player’s attention while we headed over to our table. She was definitely gesturing the universal sign for “turn it the hell down.”

“Hey girls! I requested ‘Jingle Bells,’ and guess what? They’ve got it on their playlist already! What are the odds, right?”

Two blond haystacks bobbed in rhythm to the excruciating music as we approached. Marina sent me a look before replying.

“Kyle, that’s insane.”

His brother squirmed off a barstool to greet her with a cheerful “Let’s dance, honey!”

When she declined, I smoothed it over for her. “She’s saving herself for ‘Jingle Bells.’”

I climbed up on the chair next to Lucio, who greeted me with a quick hug. The ID Gestapo must be off duty for once, because he also scooted a much wanted beer in front of me.

“How’s everything?” he asked.

“Oh, I’m okay—better now,” I smiled, tilting my head to the illegal substance. Lucio tried to hide his smugness.

The dimness of the bar, the candle blushing between us on the table, even the obnoxious music helped me relax. To be with my friends, especially the boys, since they knew so little about Gabriel, took my mind off of things.

The beer disappeared faster than expected. By the time I accepted a second glass, the tension in my neck and shoulders began to ease.

That was when it hit me, the sensation of something not adding up. My eyes scanned the surroundings, and it didn’t take me long to find him.

Behind the twins, a flickering aura appeared. I squinted at the golden glow, the way it thickened and shaped into a shimmering silhouette. Soon eyes, a nose, and an oh-so-familiar mouth emerged. Like a hologram, his flesh never filled in.

A lump formed in my throat. The colors didn’t saturate enough to block my view of the counter behind him. His eyes shone bright, and their absolute transparency transmitted such agony that his name choked out of me in a sob.

“Gabriel?”

His image flickered on and off. A desperate urge to grab a hold of him before it was too late overwhelmed me. Next to me, Marina took my hand and leaned in to talk over the music.

“Are you all right? You’re super-pale, girl!”

Gabriel’s pained gaze held mine, his lips moving as if he was trying to say something. No words reached me.

“What?” I yelled at the apparition of him. “What!” The boys exchanged glances, and Marina tugged me off the stool and away from them.