Shawn's Law (26 page)

“Won’t that upset her more? Being away from the familiar?” I was concerned.

“Some patients do get upset, but it’s usually just for the first couple of visits. I think your mum will be fine. The center is for
you,
Shawn. We need you fighting fit. Take the days to get some sleep, do your shopping or whatever you need to do, but most importantly, to recharge
your
batteries. If you crack, it will probably mean your mother will end up in a full-time nursing home. We want to avoid it for as long as possible.”

I nodded. I knew I needed to do it, but making the decision was hard.

“Take the two days, Shawn. There’s a possibility of another day opening up soon. Many of the patients in the day care don’t stay long. So, shall I put you down for next week? It’s Mondays and Wednesdays.”

I filled out the paperwork and buried myself in my painting room to grieve the loss of my mother and the loss of my control of the situation. By the time I had my emotions in order, Harley had messaged me again.

Hey. Dad tells me we are coming to your house tomorrow. You can’t believe how excited I am about that. I love you, babe. I have a big surprise for you. I hope you love it.

I
SPENT
the morning getting the house ready. Mum was having what I called a “spacey” day, where she would just sit and look at nothing for long periods of time. I was told it was normal for Alzheimer’s, but it still upset me when it happened.

At two minutes to the hour, John and Harley came up the driveway. John was carrying two large bags and Harley was bringing a box. I spied on them through the curtains and watched as Harley carefully placed the cardboard box on the ground near the letterbox. He waited at the end of the path while John came up and rang the doorbell.

“Hi,” I said jovially as I opened the door. I was proud of that “hi.” It came out as if I hadn’t been flipping out and stressing over this meeting all morning.

“G’day, Shawn. I hope you have a good appetite because I have something very special for us all.”

I glanced past John to where Harley was still lingering near the letterbox. We made eye contact, and I swear I could feel the heat in that look down to my toes. There was a small and nervous smile tweaking his lips up at the side, just the tiniest fraction. I devoured the sight of him. I hadn’t seen him for weeks and couldn’t stop the grin transforming my face.

I loved him.

I knew it. He knew it. His father knew it.

Harley’s answering grin was magical. It swept away all the feelings of nervousness and firmly slotted into its place the feeling of desire. Horniness. Want. I allowed my gaze to drop to the front of his loose pants and I just knew he was free balling down there. His grin widened even further and he licked his lips. I suddenly could think of three places I needed those lips to be—my mouth, my dick, my—

“Are you finished?” The sound of John clearing his throat brought me back to earth.

“What did you say?”

John chuckled. “You and Harley? If you’ve finished eye-fucking each other, I was wondering if I could come in and put the wine in the fridge? Harley bought some sort of white wine that he says needs to chill.”

“Eye-fuu…? Sure, come on in.”

I stepped back and John came inside, but Harley stayed where he was, lingering near the letterbox. I looked askance at John. “Isn’t he coming in?”

“No. We thought it would be best if you two had a bit of a talk outside on your own. So, show me the kitchen, show me a pot to cook the rice in, and reintroduce me to your mother. Then you can go out and make up.” I turned red. But John wasn’t finished. “It was my idea that you chat out the front. You can only apologize to each other with words if you’re standing in your front yard. I had awful dreams last night of you two disappearing into the bedroom and not reappearing for hours.”

I turned a darker shade of red. As an artist I should’ve been more descriptive than dark red, but my brain was fried. I should’ve said something about going a darker shade of Indian red, or perhaps crimson or vermilion or cerise or even cadmium red. But whatever shade it was, I was it, and it burned on my cheeks.

With as much dignity as I could muster, I pulled a pot from the cupboard, then faced my tormentor. “My mother is having a quiet day, so she should just sit there. But if she removes her clothes, please compliment her on her looks and then help her to dress again. Don’t let her near the knives. She likes to stab people.”

Then, as he was choking, I turned and walked out to meet Harley.

Harley

Jenny.

T
HAT
DAY
when Shawn and I made up in his front yard
is
simultaneously
the best day and the worst day of my life. It was the best, because we got back together, obviously, but worst because it could’ve gone horribly wrong.

I was the image of an anxious date for the school ball—sweaty palms, racing heart, nervous tic making my legs all jumpy. I waited while Shawn and my father disappeared, counting off the seconds and rehearsing in my head what I had to say. I was silently practicing the part about him being the most important thing in my life when he reappeared and the entire speech flew out of my head. I was pacing a small circle at the bottom of the path from the front door, but I stopped and stared at him with a goofy look on my face as he came halfway down the hill and halted at the third step so we were at equal height. I knew I had a goofy look on my face, because his face had the same.

“God, it’s so good to see you,” I burst out, because it was true. He was there, in front of me. His adorable eyes shy behind his black-framed glasses, his curvy little body just waiting for me to wrap my arms around him, and his meaty arse just begging for my broad hands. I wanted to scoop him up and kiss him senseless. I wanted to shove him down on his bed and fuck him until we were both raw. I wanted to lie with him in the silence and just experience the knowledge that we were together. I wanted to walk hand in hand along the seashore. I wanted to hike the forests, ride the waves, swim the oceans. I wanted to run though fields of wildflowers and pull him down among the blooms so I could appreciate him surrounded by color.

But first I needed to apologize to him.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Wait. What?” I asked, shaking my head. “That’s my line. I need to apologize to you. So if you could just wait while I say—”

“I was a bad boyfriend, and I treated you badly.”

He was stealing my lines.

“Shawn, I—”

“I won’t do it again. I’ve seen how it hurts you, and I’m deeply sorry.”

“Babe—”

“If you could just give us another chance, I promise I’ll do my best to get it right.”

That was totally my line too.

I tried to keep up. “You—”

He was too quick for me. “I can’t promise I won’t muck up again, because I’m only human and I make mistakes a lot, but if you could just promise me that if I
do
muck up, you’ll be patient with me and gently point it out? Because I love you and I want you to be around forever.”

I needed to get in quick before he stole the rest of my speech. “I love you too, and you’re the most important thing to me. Can you forgive me?”

He took another step down to me. “I forgave you ages ago. Can you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive.”

Shawn frowned. “But I lied to you. I lied about Rory. I stupidly made up that story so that you would dump me. It was extremely immature. Instead of acting like an adult, I acted like a kid.”

“You lied to me because I was treating you badly. You were hurting. I was the child. I didn’t stop and think about you. I just thought about me. All I could think was how
I
would feel if you got hurt. I didn’t think about how my reactions would be perceived by you. I don’t think you’re a child. I don’t want a child. I want you.”

“I’m sorry I do dumb things,” he mumbled.

“You don’t. The ants? The octopus? It could’ve happened to anyone. I’m sorry I overreacted.”

“You didn’t. I’m a dumbass. I’m immature.”

“You’re not,” I immediately defended.

“I am.”

“You’re not.”

“I am.”

“You’re—Actually you are sounding a bit immature now. So am I.”

We stopped and laughed at each other.

“But seriously, Shawn. You break my heart daily with how strong and gracious and loving you are to your mother. I love my dad dearly, but I don’t know if I could do what you do for your mum. And you never get angry or storm out in a huff, or anything.”

I was appalled when his shoulders sagged and he sank down to sit on the step. I raced to his side and wrapped my arm around him. “What is it, babe?”

I felt him swallow. “Mum’s getting worse. We’re talking about nursing homes and things. I knew it would happen, but I didn’t want it to.”

“Oh, babe,” I sighed.

“We’re going to try a day care facility. Just a break for me. She’s needing more help now. The good days are pretty far between. She needs extra help eating and she’s having trouble getting up out of chairs and bed.”

I drew him close to me and kissed the top of his head. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you when you needed me.”

He shrugged. “You were off saving the world.”

That brought me up short. Didn’t he realize? “Shawn? I want to make this very clear to you.
You
are my world. Without you, I’m nothing. The reason I go out there and fight for what’s right, is because I feel extremely privileged in this life, and therefore I put my support behind those who can’t fight for themselves. I try to make this world a better place. I try to save the planet and the people who live here because of the ones I love. If I had no family, I think I would curl up and die of sorrow. I fight harder because I know there are people in this world I am fighting for. I want to make this earth a better world for those I love. If you’re not here at home, waiting for me, or if you’re not fighting by my side for the freedoms I believe in, then there’s nothing for me to fight for.”

He turned, flung his arms around me, and buried his face in my neck. His glasses dug into my skin, but I ignored the pain to reap the benefits. We stayed wrapped in each other for endless minutes, absorbing the familiar feel of the other, until Shawn’s back suddenly stiffened.

“Ah, Harley?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s in the box? Because it just moved two inches to the right.”

I jumped up. “Shit. I forgot. I got you a present.”

He looked ready to scuttle back up the steps. “It isn’t a snake, is it?”

I blinked and tried to follow his thought patterns. “No, why would it be a snake?”

“Oh, no reason. But you have been to India. Don’t they have snakes in India?”

Frowning didn’t help clear my confusion, so I stowed it in the back of my mind and promised myself to ask him more about it later. “It’s not a snake. It’s a present that I hope you’ll adore. She has been so patient.”

I reached into the box and pulled out my gift—a miniature Yorkshire terrier cross with a pretty pink collar I’d chosen for her. I heard Shawn’s gasp of amazement and knew I’d chosen right. I walked into the animal shelter that morning, and there she was. She was adorable. She had the color of a Yorkie, but whatever she’d been crossed with had short hair, so she wasn’t as hairy as most of her breed. She licked my hand with gratitude, since I’d rescued her from the box.

Shawn was already there with his hands stretched out to hold her. I passed her over and he immediately snuggled her into his chest. She licked his chin and wagged her tail madly. I knew it was love at first sight for both of them.

“Where did you get her?” he asked in wonder.

“From an adoption shelter I know called SAFE. I know a volunteer there, and last night I rang her up and told her what I needed. She said she had just the thing.”

“What did you need?”

“I told her that I needed a medium-sized dog who would get along fabulously with my two animals, and who would protect and love my boyfriend for the times when I was away.”

Shawn looked down at the little thing in his hands. “I think we have a different idea of protection.”

I laughed. “I went in this morning to meet the dog she’d picked out, but Tamika told me it had been adopted, just an hour earlier. Then she picked up a cage with Jenny in it.”

“Jenny?”

“Yes,” I chuckled. “It was fate. I knew that any man who could love two Bennies at the same time would need a Jenny.”

He looked up at me, and I could see he was struggling with his emotions. “I also need a Harley.”

“Shawn? You have both.”

I leaned down and gently kissed him with Jenny happily cuddled between us. It was like coming home. I’d been on Perth soil for nearly twenty-four hours but had not felt like I was home until the moment my lips touched his. I cupped his jaw and pressed down harder, anxiously needing to rediscover his taste and the texture of his mouth.