She Will Rejoice (10 page)

The nursery was beautiful, but Finn did not have as much patience for the minute details as did his wife. Nicholas must have seen his boredom.

“Care to see my plans for field expansion?”

Finn agreed readily.

“How have things been between you and Mrs. Haydn since you arrived home?”
Nicholas questioned him as they walked toward the study.

Finn didn’t know how to respond to that.
Nicholas was a gentleman in every sense of the word, and Finn had been pleased when he asked for Tessa’s hand. However, he had some strange beliefs. Nicholas and his family and, now Tessa, believed they could have a personal relationship with God.

Finn had thought this claim to a relationship would make them more pious, but
Nicholas was one of the least judgmental people Finn knew. He was also slow to anger, as evidenced by how many times Diana had attempted to provoke the man and failed.

“I am guessing, by your silence,”
Nicholas spoke again, “that things are not as well as they were while on your wedding trip.”

Finn wished he could go back and give a trite answer, but
Nicholas would not believe it now.

“We have had some struggles.”

Nicholas closed the study door after his brother-in-law, “Something you care to talk about?”

Finn figured, if anyone could help him, it would be Nick.

“She is angry with me right now,’ he paused. “And rightly so.”

Nicholas
perched on the edge of the desk as Finn paced.

“I was in my room one morning with a chamber maid,” he began and then realized how vague that sounded. “We were talking.”

Finn glanced at Nicholas and realized he needed to be honest if this was going to be helpful, “Flirting.”

Finn waited for the condemnation, but Nick’s expression remained open.

“Naomi came in and became angry,” Finn felt some irritation when he thought about it now.

“She thought you were behaving wrongly toward the maid?”

“She doesn’t think the maid should even be in the same room as me.”

“She’s right about that,”
Nicholas supplied his opinion, “but that is pretty easy to repair.”

“She forgave me for that,” he admitted.

Nick’s brows furrowed.

“
Rowan came over and opened his mouth about a relationship I once had with a certain widow.”

Nicholas
grimaced, “Before you met, Naomi, I hope.”

Finn wished it had ended there, “Yes.”

“There’s more,” Nicholas prompted him.

Finn was beginning to wonder why he had chosen to open up to his sister’s husband.

“You do not have to tell me, Finn,” Nicholas assured him, “but if you choose to, please know I will never share this with anyone – not even my wife.”

“A couple days past, she came into my study while I was with the same widow Rowan spoke of.”

Nicholas peered at him through one squinted eye, “Talking?”

“Not exactly.”

“Flirting, then.”

“No conversation at all,” Finn’s voice was loud and harsh enough to cause the other man to start.
“Sorry.”

“What were you doing?”
Nicholas clearly did not care about Finn’s tone as much as he cared about the story.

“She was kissing me,” the words rushed out.

Nicholas groaned, “She was kissing you or the two of you were kissing?”

“What difference does that make?”

Nicholas rose, “It makes a great deal of difference. First and foremost, one of them is a betrayal of your vows and the other is just stupidity at allowing yourself to be in a situation where she could accost you.”

“It was a kiss,” Fi
nn argued, “I had not bedded the woman.”

Nicholas
harrumphed, “Did you not vow to forsake all others, keeping only to her?”

Finn did not care for the direction the conversation was taking, “What is your other point?”

Nicholas raised his eyebrows.

“You said my vows were the f
irst point. What was the second?”

“Oh,”
Nicholas placed a hand on Finn’s shoulder, “Can you imagine what that looked like to Naomi? Had she come in and you were backing away from a woman who was attempting to seduce you, it would be one thing, but if you had this woman in your embrace. . .”

Finn scrubbed a hand over his face.

Nicholas did not require an answer to his question. Finn was sure the earl knew the kiss had been mutual.

“So, what do I do?”

“I do not know that there is anything you can do.”

Finn was not encouraged.

“I think you would be better off leaving it alone.”

Finn was appalled, “And
relegate myself to a lifetime of her cold treatment? Had I not known what kind of person she is, I may be able to do thus, but I could never go back now.”

“What do you mean?
” Nicholas rocked back on his heels, “What kind of person
is
she?”

Finn felt himself coloring.

Nick’s eyes widened, “You are actually in love with her. I had thought because your mother forced you. . .”

Finn growled.

“But you have fallen in love with her,” Nicholas was in awe.

“I cannot see how that
has any bearing on the situation one way or another.”

“It does,”
Nicholas turned and went to sit down at his desk. “It makes it worse.”

Finn dropped to a chair.

“Be faithful from here on out,” Nicholas finally spoke up again. “It could take many months, years even, to fully regain her trust.”

Finn couldn’t stand to hear it, “Years?!”

“You made the blunder, my friend. You are going to have to pay the price.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Tessa was eager to show her friend all the details of the coming baby’s room as well as the layette. Naomi tried to attend, but she could not stop thinking about other things.

Tessa must have noticed.

“What is troubling you?”

Naomi did not desire to go into all the details, so she tried to approach the matter from a distant angle, “You said once that your relationship with Nicholas progressed because of your shared faith.”

Tessa lowered herself into a rocking chair, “Please, sit,” she indicated the small sofa.

Naomi felt too restless to be seated, but she did as she was told.

“I do believe that our shared faith was a big attraction for each of us. I do not know many men who are willing to rely on someone other than themselves. It takes a certain kind of strength to admit you cannot do it alone.”

Naomi was confused, “Cannot do what alone?”

“We cannot live or breathe without God. More importantly, we cannot save ourselves.”

Naomi was not comfortable with this conversation any more than she was comfortable speaking of her husband’s infidelity.

Tessa either did not notice or did not care, “Our only hope for salvation is Jesus.”

“And Nicholas believes this too?” Naomi could not stop the question.

Tessa nodded.

Naomi chewed her lip, “But Finn does not.”

Tessa shook her head, “I do not believe Finn thinks he needs anyone or anything but himself.”

Naomi did not think that was true. Finn seemed to need her. As she was mulling this over, Tessa stood and held out her hand, “We should probably go back to the parlor and see if the others are waiting for us.”

The ladies arrived back in the parlor to find Rhoda and George had returned to the house.

“Where is mother?” Tessa took a seat next to her aunt.

“She went to lie down,” George’s smile was tight.

Naomi wondered i
f Mr. Clark and Mrs. Haydn had argued or perhaps there was a quarrel between the Clarks themselves.

“I think I shall go see what the gentlemen are about,” he hurried from the room.

“Your letter was such a nice surprise, my dear,” Mrs. Clark held out a hand to her new niece. “It was kind of you to write to us while on your wedding trip.”

“
Finn was writing to your husband anyway,” Naomi responded pleasantly. “It was no trouble at all.”

Tessa chuckled, “Finn even spared a moment to write a few lines to me.
I dare say that is the first time he has bothered with anything save business while he on holiday.”

Mrs. Clark patted Naomi’s hand, “You are good for him.”

Naomi was surprised, “I did nothing, Mrs. Clark. I did not even suggest he write to Tessa.”

Mrs. Clark laughed, “I do wish you would call me Aunt Rhoda.”

Naomi permitted a small smile.

“You do not seem as exuberant as when I have met you in the past, Naomi,” Rhoda frowned. “Are you unwell?”

“Not at all, I assure you.”

Tessa leaned forward, “Are you with child? I know it is too soon to be sharing such news if you are, but I have been so hoping for a cousin for this one,” she caressed her own belly fondly.

Naomi colored.

“You have embarrassed her, Tessa,” Rhoda chided.

“I do not believe I am expecting,” she refuted the idea.

“Then what is the matter?” Rhoda pressed. “I cannot say I have noticed anything amiss, but we hardly know each other. I do rely on Tessa’s good judgment, though. She is most keen.”

Naomi forced a broader smile to her lips, “I am well, and I can think of nothing that should give you concern. I am, perhaps, still feeling the effects of being the new bride – the outsider. It can be a source of stress even when the woman has come into a family so wonderful as yours.”

Rhoda was appeased, but Naomi could see her new sister was not. Still, Tessa allowed the subject to drop.

The men joined them a short time later. They had been playing at billiards.

“I suppose you have been bested by my brother again,” Tessa smiled up at her husband.

“You are quite right on that score,” George chuckled at his niece’s comment, “but he was able to win both games against me, so I imagine he is not feeling too downtrodden.”

Naomi tried not to look at her husband. Her heart always tugged toward him, and she would rather not feel that attraction.

Finn took a seat not too near her, “It is, perhaps, not a good sign that I am a capable billiard player. It hints at too much time spent pursuing it.”

“Maybe you need a new hobby, Finn,” his aunt suggested.

He smiled at her, “What do you propose?”

“Many gentlemen take up fencing,” Rhoda replied after a moment’s thought.

“I have first-hand knowledge of your ability to fence,” Nicholas scoffed at that idea. “I do not think you need concern yourself about improving upon that.”

“And you are a capable rider and hunter,” Tessa reminded unnecessarily. “It seems you hav
e all the skills a gentleman should possess.”

“Do you ride, Naomi?” George addressed her.

She nodded, “I have in the past.”

Tessa beamed, “Why then, you and
Finn can ride together.”

Finn turned to his wife, “I was not aware you were a horsewoman, Naomi.”

“December is hardly the time to be out riding horse,” she reminded him, her tone barely civil.

She saw the sorrow in his eyes, but she could not muster any regret for her tone. Rather, his reaction spurred her on. “And prior to our wedding, we scarcely had time to be in company together.”

Tessa cleared her throat, “It must have been difficult to be apart for so long.”

Naomi shook her head, “It was confusing.”

Rhoda glanced between her nephew and his wife, “Confusing?”

“I did not know what manner of man I was marrying, and, the day following my father’s announcement that he had agreed to Finn’s marriage proposal, I discovered my intended was leaving for a holiday.”

Finn rose and strode across the room, ostensibly to kick some ashes from the hearth into the fireplace. Naomi could see his jaw clenching.

The room was quiet for a moment. It felt to Naomi like an eternity, and she began to wish she had not made the last comment. She had wanted to hurt Finn like he hurt her, but she should not have done so in quite so public a setting.

The maid’s entrance saved the party from further awkwardness, “Dinner is served, madam.”

Tessa rose, forcing her husband and uncle to stand as well. She cast a glance at her brother, and Naomi thought she may have seen disappointment in it. Naomi closed her eyes. It had not been her intent to injure Tessa’s opinion of Finn.

Finn was at her side when she looked up. He offered her his arm without looking at her face. She took it without looking at his.

They were silent during the meal despite George and Rhoda’s attempts to draw them into conversation.

The men left them after the meal, and Rhoda and Naomi retired to the drawing room while Tessa checked on her mother.

“I am sorry your betrothed was called away during your engagement,” Rhoda sat directly opposite Naomi. “It was, I fear, unavoidable.”

Naomi nodded, “He has said as much.”

“And I believe he could not have fathomed how long it would take him to resolve the matter.”

“He has told me this as well.”

Rhoda sighed, “And, yet, you are still angry about it.”

Naomi let her eyes drift to a far corner of the room, “I am not so angry about it, as a business matter.”

“Then what?”
Rhoda pushed.

She turned and saw genuine concern in the other woman’s eyes, “I fear what he was doing that was not related to business, Aunt Rhoda.”

Rhoda’s eyes widened as a gasp slipped from her lips.

Naomi’s eyes filled with tears.

“You surely do not believe he was . . .”

Naomi dabbed at her lashes, “Please do not pretend to be unaware of your nephew’s reputation, Aunt Rhoda.
It is well-known he gambles, drinks, and enjoys the company of ladies.”

“Finn does not gamble,” Rhoda’s frown deepened, “and when have you ever known your husband to take a drink?”

“Never,” she admitted, “but I had not known him to spend time with loose women until I saw it with my own eyes.”

Naomi’s hand flew to cover her mouth. She had not meant to let that last part slip.

Rhoda’s face paled by several shades, “What do you mean?”

“Please,” the young lady rose, “please forget I said anything at all.”

Rhoda rose and pulled Naomi to herself, “I cannot forget,” she stroked the auburn hair, “but it is I who am sorry.”

Tessa came into the room to find her sister-in-law sobbing on Rhoda’s shoulder.

“What has happened?” she led the pair back to the settee.

Rhoda shook her head and continued to let Naomi cry, “Perhaps you could ask your husband to delay the men’s return just a bit.”

Tessa hurried out to do as she was told.

“My mother told me I must simply accept it,” Naomi spoke as she gained control, “but I did not want to accept such a thing. Finn seemed so. . .” she fluttered her hands about her in a helpless manner.

Rhoda smiled in spite of herself, “So in love?”

Naomi sat up straight and mopped up the worst of her tears, “Yes. I know how foolish that sounds.”

“It is not foolish, my dear girl. It is to be expected. When you marry, whether it is for love or out of duty to your family, you expect your spouse to remain faithful.”

Naomi shook her head, “I am beginning to see that is an unreasonable expectation. It seems every man strays.”

“Not every man,” Tessa had returned to the room. “Some men take their vows seriously.”

Naomi wondered if these women really had faithful husbands or if they were simply deluding themselves.

“You doubt,” Rhoda chuckled, reading Naomi’s mind.

Naomi shrugged.

“Finn was not raised with a good example of fidelity,” Tessa explained. “It may be more difficult for him to grasp the concept.”

Naomi’s temper flared, “It is a fairly simple concept. Should he be so thick-headed as to have difficulty comprehending it, I want nothing to do with him. I cannot bear loving him and knowing he is giving himself to others.”

The other two shared a look of concern but said nothing.

Two days later, Naomi found herself in her sitting room
, wondering if the pain her chest was going to end her life.

“I just think it will be better this way, Naomi,” Finn was ready to travel. “You are not happy with me, and it may be best for us to be apart for a time.”

She forced her voice to remain calm, “And just how long is this separation to last?”

“I do not know,” he didn’t look at her. “Maybe you will find yourself with child.”

She rose and interrupted him, “And then you would never have to see me again?”

He sighed, “I had not meant to
say anything like that.”

Naomi planted her hands on her hips, “I am not with child, Finn,” it pained her to admit it. “So, I am sorry to inform you that you will have to return at some point to correct that problem. It is, after all, your responsibility.”

She saw Finn swallow hard, “It is no burden to me to have that responsibility, Naomi, but it seems it is a burden to you.”

“Perhaps it would not seem a burden to me, if you were more selective in your choice of women.”

His face exposed his anger, “I made one mistake, Naomi. How long will you punish me for that?”

She held up two fingers, “It was two mistakes, Mr. Haydn, and the second indiscretion was worse than the first.”

He gritted his teeth.

“I have reason to believe that the third will be more
grievous than the second.”

His voice rose to match hers, “Have you never erred?”

“This is not about me!” Naomi spun around and left the parlor for her bed chamber, slamming the door on her way.

She did not see him again before he left.

Two days later, a knock sounded on her sitting room door. Without waiting for an answer, Diana entered.

“He’s left you already,” she came in and dropped into a soft chair.

Naomi had never seen her mother-in-law drunk, but she recognized that was what ailed the woman now.

“I am certain he will return,” Naomi looked back at the book she was reading.

Diana laughed, “He’ll come back to give you an heir, but you’ll never really have him. His love will always be the thrill of the chase. Whether it’s other women, the bottle, or some scheme to get more money, he’ll always love that more than you.”

Naomi hated the truth in the woman’s words. She did not address those, however.