Shelter (14 page)

“Ma’am?” I heard the maid say. “Chef says dinner is ready.”

“Thank you, Laura,” my mother returned. “Are you all ready to eat?”

It was a pleasant dinner. We had a beautiful brown sugar-glazed ham, candied sweet potatoes, green beans, potato salad, steaming hot rolls, and sweet potato pie for dessert. It was much the same as other Georgia families would be having for Christmas dinner. In many ways, we were very much like humans. Few people would have been able to tell we were different at a glance.

After dinner, Mother loaded
It’s a Wonderful Life
into the DVD player. It was a tradition in my family to watch it every Christmas. Kai sat between my mother and me on the sofa, and he took my hand and held it between his own. His head rested on my shoulder, and his hair spilled across it.

It seemed so natural to be around him. He fit in with us as though he’d always been there – an integral part of the family. When he was gone, nothing seemed right in the world. Now that he was back, our family was complete once more.

When Kai had been gone, I realized how important he was to me. I’d been growing frustrated with his possessiveness and his desperate clinginess. After he left, I realized I was glad to have someone who loved me so much, and who needed me as much as Kai did.

I reached across me and stroked Kai’s arm with my free hand. He lifted his head and looked deep into my eyes. I could tell there was nowhere else he would rather be than with me. I smiled at him, and he returned his head to my shoulder.

What had I done? This fragile, wonderful guy who loved me with all of his heart was now damaged because of my momentary lack of strength. One act, one desperate, selfish act, had taken away Kai’s entire world. It had caused him pain I would never be able to take back.

I needed to explain to him what had happened in that elevator. Surely, he would understand if I could just tell him. But Christmas was not the day for such things. I wanted to give Kai this one day before I dredged up those awful feelings. Christmas, at least, would be happy.

Late Christmas night, after Mother and Will had gone to bed, Kai and I were lying on the sofa watching the lights on the Christmas tree flicker and the flames in the fireplace dance. Kai leaned against one arm of the couch, and I leaned back against his chest with his strong arms wrapped around me.

I dreaded the conversation I would need to have with him the next day, but I knew it had to be done. I couldn’t just leave things the way they were. Kai deserved an explanation.

It was so comfortable and so natural lying there in Kai’s arms that I finally fell asleep. I woke up to Kai placing me gently in my bed. I listened as he took off his shirt and let if fall to the floor, and then I felt him slide underneath the covers beside me and wrap his arms around me, and I fell asleep once more to the rise and fall of his chest.

When the sun peeked gingerly through my curtains the next morning, Kai was still lying beside me, holding me in his warm grasp. I sighed happily. I felt so safe there. So loved. I snuggled closer to his bare torso, trying hard not to wake him.

He was so beautiful lying there with the sun gently tickling his face. I reached up and stroked his cheek lightly. His full lips were parted slightly, and suddenly I was filled with an overwhelming desire to kiss him. As I placed my lips gently against his, he responded by wrapping his arms more tightly around me and kissing me back. I placed my hand on his cheek and my lips pressed harder against his. He gasped slightly, and I felt his breathing accelerate. I’d been away from him for so long, but his kiss was still magic. It still made me feel everything he felt.

Suddenly, he pulled away. I could see pain in his eyes, and his brow was furrowed. He backed away from me slightly.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered.

He scowled.

“I was just remembering you in the elevator.”

“Oh,” I sighed. “Kai, please let me explain that.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” he snarled.

“It wasn’t what it looked like,” I promised. “I…”

“Stop, Alice,” Kai interrupted, the pain in his eyes overwhelming. “There’s nothing you can say.”

“Yes,” I insisted, “there is if only you’ll listen!”

“Fine,” he said, his teeth clenched. “Then please explain to me how you kissing someone else – lying on top of him in an elevator – was anything other than exactly what it appeared to be.”

“I was hungry,” I admitted quietly. “I could smell him. I was so starved I could even hear his pulse rushing through his veins. I was afraid I might…”

“Wait,” he stopped me. “So you were hungry. How exactly did kissing him
help
that?”

I wasn’t sure what to say. When he put it like that, anything I might say could actually make the situation seem even worse.

“When I kissed him, it distracted me,” I finally admitted with a sigh.

I saw the muscles in Kai’s jaw tense as he clenched his teeth together. His eyes narrowed as he glared at me.

Through clenched teeth, he slowly snarled, “So kissing him distracted you enough that you forgot your
hunger
?”

“Yes,” I admitted, looking down at the blankets.

“And you thought telling me that would make me feel
better
?” he growled.

“Well, not when you put it that way.”

“What other way
could
I put it, Alice?” he shouted, jumping out of bed and storming toward the door.

In a flash, I scrambled off the bed and stepped in front of him, placing my hands on his bare chest to prevent him from leaving.

“It’s not what you think it is,” I insisted firmly.

“Do you love him?” he hissed.

“What?” I gasped. “No!”

“Okay, do you have any kind of feelings for him?” he demanded.

“I hardly know him,” I replied.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he said.

“No, Kai,” I snapped. “I don’t have any feelings for him!”

“But you are attracted to him,” he said.

My mouth gaped open, as I stood there aghast. What could I say to that? I couldn’t lie to Kai.

“That’s all the answer I needed,” he said, pushing past me and storming out of the room.

I opened my mouth to stop him, but the words wouldn’t come. I was frozen in place. I shivered anxiously. I was terrified I would lose him again. I took a deep breath and willed myself to move. Finally, I regained control of my body and I tore down the stairs after him. I heard the front door slam, and, throwing the door open after him, I raced into the yard.

“Kai, stop!” I shouted, slamming the door behind me.

He stopped, but did not turn around. I could see his bare shoulders heaving up and down with each ragged breath.

“I don’t love him!” I yelled, walking up behind him and placing my hands on his bare back.

Kai said nothing. I felt the muscles in his back twitch.

“I love
you
,” I whispered, placing my lips softly against the skin of his back.

He took a deep breath. I moved my hands around his body and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my cheek against his back and squeezing him tightly.

“Please don’t leave again,” I pleaded. “I love you.”

Kai’s head hung, and he sighed. He turned to face me without breaking away from my hug. He placed his hands on either side of my face and looked deeply into my eyes.

“Never again,” he said, and I understood.

“I promise,” I agreed. “There is only you.”

He wrapped his arms around me and held me close, burying his face in my hair.

“Let’s go inside,” I suggested. “It’s freezing out here.”

Neither of us were wearing shoes, and Kai was shirtless and shivering. Together, we went inside.

On December 31, I was fiddling around with the digital camera I got for Christmas when my phone rang. I fumbled around in my purse and located it, flipping it open and pressing it to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Alice? It’s Max.”

“Oh, hi.”

“Can you come over later tonight?” Max asked. “I’m having a New Year’s Eve party. Jamie’s coming.”

“This is short notice,” I commented.

“I know,” he admitted. “I was supposed to be out of town, but my dad got called away on business last night and my mom said I could have a small party if I wanted to. Will you come?”

“Can I bring Kai?” I asked.

“Kai?” he questioned. “Oh, your boyfriend? Sure.”

“Okay, what time?”

“Ten o’clock tonight,” he answered. “I’ll email you my address.”

“Alright, we’ll be there,” I promised.

“’K, see you then,” he said, and he hung up.

Oh, dear. What had I done? I just promised that Kai and I would go to a party at Max’s house. Not only did Kai detest parties, as did I, but it was at Max’s house, of all places. I wondered how Kai was going to take this.

I knocked gingerly on Kai’s bedroom door, and he called out to invite me in, “Come in.”

I pushed the door open, and he was standing by his easel painting, as usual.

“Can I talk to you a sec?”

“Of course,” he said. “What is it?”

“We just got invited to a New Year’s Eve party.”

“Oh?” he commented. “Where at?”

“Max’s house,” I admitted.

He frowned, but he kept painting. “I see.”

“I asked him if you could come and he said yes,” I said quickly. “Jamie will be there, and some other people, too, I think.”

He nodded, concentrating on his painting.

“So will you go with me?”

“Yes,” he said quietly.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “You hate parties.”

“So do you,” he reminded me.

“I know, but…”

“I said I’ll go,” he interrupted me.

I smiled. I walked over and put my arms around him. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” he said. “Besides, I can’t exactly leave you alone with him, can I?”

“You could,” I answered. “But you
wouldn’t
.”

“Definitely not,” he agreed.

“It’s at ten o’clock,” I said. “He’s going to email me his address.”

Kai kissed my forehead.

“I’ll drive.”

“I love you,” I sighed wistfully, looking up into his eyes.

“I love you, too,” he said, planting a soft kiss on my lips.

Max emailed his address, as promised, and Kai and I showed up at his house a little after ten. Max answered the door looking especially handsome in a black button down shirt and black dress pants. He gawked at me in my white dress, and I noticed him attempt to suppress a scowl when he noticed Kai.

“So glad you could both make it,” he said, beckoning us inside.

Max’s house was almost as large as mine, and much larger than Jamie’s. The foyer was liberally decorated with black and white balloons and streamers, and the steady, rhythmic pulse of the stereo blared from somewhere inside the house.

Kai took my hand as Max led us down the hall, through large wooden double doors and into a very large living room. The floor was covered with a thick red carpet, and the whole left wall was made of glass doors. The doors led out into the back yard where a large swimming pool was covered for the winter in a black tarp.

A fire was burning in the huge marble fireplace on the opposite side of the room, and the obnoxious sound of dance music rippled out from the speakers in the far right corner and bored its way into my brain. This hip-hop trance stuff wasn’t exactly my favorite.

A few people were standing around talking, and I noticed Jamie sitting by herself in a wingback chair in the corner. She glanced up, and I waved at her. She stopped gnawing her fingernails long enough to manage a faint smile and she waved back.

“Enjoy the party,” Max said. “I ordered some pizzas. They’ll be here, soon.”

“Thanks, Max,” I said. I tugged Kai’s hand. “Come here, I want you to meet Jamie.”

When we were standing in front of Jamie, I said, “Hey, Jamie. This is my boyfriend, Kai.”

Jamie stood up and politely stuck out her hand to shake Kai’s, but he reached out and took her hand and kissed the back of it like a gentleman and she blushed beet red.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he said, and she giggled.

She leaned very close to my ear and with huge eyes whispered, “He’s really cute!”

I smiled. “I know, right?” I said, winking at her, and she giggled again.

A slower song came on the stereo, and my brain was instantly relieved. I couldn’t deal with loud, pulsing music.

“Do you want to dance?” Kai asked me.

“Sure,” I said, and he pulled me close to him.