Shelter for Adeline (11 page)

Adeline smiled, she couldn’t help it.

“I love your smile,” Dean told her easily. “Even when you’re not feelin’ it, it lights up your face. How’s Coco?”

He did that all the time, Adeline realized. Paid her a wonderful compliment, then asked a non-related question right afterwards. “Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Say something nice, then ask a question that has nothing to do with it.”

“You really want to know?”

Adeline scrunched up her nose. “Of course. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

“That’s true. You don’t play games. I keep forgetting. I do it, beautiful, because you have a hard time taking compliments. You either try to deny whatever it is that I’ve said, or you roll your eyes and change the subject. I don’t like making you feel uncomfortable, and I really don’t like when you put yourself down by denying it, so I change the subject to try to make you feel more at ease…and I hope that if I keep sneaking compliments in, you’ll soon come to believe me and not try to deflect when I do it in the future.”

“Oh.” Adeline wasn’t sure what to say. It was true. She wasn’t comfortable with all of his compliments, simply because she hadn’t really heard anyone say those kinds of things to her before. Sure, when she was dressed up and trying people told her she looked nice, but Dean complimented her all the time. Like when she was lying in her bed, hair mussed, tired from a long week of work and completely stressed out and makeup free. She decided to just ignore it for now. “Coco is good. Tired too. When I work a lot, he does too.”

He let her move on from the compliment conversation. “I’m impressed how well he stays on task when he’s with you. I noticed that until you told him it was okay, he didn’t pay any attention to Taco or Moose.”

“Yeah, when I realized he really could tell when I was going to have a seizure, I took him to get official service dog training. They emphasized that when he was working, he needed to be working. And he knows not to get distracted unless I tell him it’s okay.”

“It’s amazing.”

“It is. Although people don’t seem to get that he’s working. They come up all the time to pet and make smooshy faces at him. I mean, I get it, he’s cute, but it’s just not cool.”

“They do it even though he’s wearing a vest that says, ‘Working dog, do not distract or pet’?”

“Yup.”

“Jerks.”

Adeline smiled. Dean really looked put out. She could tell he was sitting on a couch and saw half of a picture on the wall behind him.

“What’re you looking at?” he asked, noticing her distraction.

“Oh, sorry. I was just trying to figure out where you were.”

“I’m at work. Want a tour of the station?”

“What?”

“A tour. Well, a virtual one for now.”

“Sure.”

Adeline watched the screen intently as Dean stood up and started walking around. He showed her the small room he was currently relaxing in, then walked down the hall to a room with several bunk beds lined up on the walls.

“This is where we get some sleep when we need it.”

“You all sleep in the same room?” she asked incredulously.

“Well, yeah. The station isn’t big enough for us all to have our own rooms. Why is that weird?”

“I don’t know.” She smiled at him. “Okay, that’s a lie. I do know. It’s because you’re like, a guy’s guy, and I can’t see you having a slumber party in a room with a bunch of other guys who are probably just as alpha and male as you.”

Crash turned the phone around so she could see him. “It’s not like we’re giggling and doing our nails together, beautiful. We come in here to sleep. Hell, it probably sounds like a bunch of chainsaws when we’re all snoring together. But I’m not admitting that I snore. Nope, again, that’s something you’ll have to find out yourself. There’s absolutely nothing sleepoverish about the sleeping arrangements.”

“Gotcha.” She was still smiling at him.

Crash just shook his head in amusement and continued on with the tour. He showed her the locker room—after making sure it was empty—then the weight room, the big TV room she’d seen the day she’d been there, the kitchen, and finally the bays with the trucks and engines inside.

“What, no pole?” she teased softly.

“Oh, there’s a pole, beautiful,” Crash said with a twinkle in his eye.

Adeline laughed. She probably should’ve been turned off by the obvious sexual innuendo, but couldn’t be. He was funny.

“Do you think—” Adeline’s words were cut off by Coco jumping up onto the bed and landing on her side.

“Coco! Get off!” She laughed and pushed the large dog to the side, turning on her back and dropping the phone in the process.

She fumbled for the phone and laughed again as Coco pushed his head under her free hand. Adeline petted him absently as she brought the phone back up in front of her face. “Sorry about that. As I was saying, do you think there’s a fire station around somewhere that does have a pole? I’d love to experience sliding down it just once.”

Expecting Dean to laugh at her and possibly make another innuendo about sliding down a pole, she was surprised to see his brows drawn down over his eyes in concern.

Adeline pushed Coco away again, not wanting to pet him at the moment, and asked, “What? What’d I say?”

“Is Coco alerting?” Dean asked in a quiet, urgent tone.

Oh shit. She’d been so into her conversation with Dean and admiring the station that she hadn’t really paid attention to her dog. She looked at him now.

Fuck. Yup. He was alerting. The dog was staring at her in the intense way he had when he could tell she was going to have a seizure. He was lying half on top of her and kept head-butting her hand.

“Shit. I gotta go, Dean.”

“Don’t. Let me be there with you.”

Annoyed, and definitely not wanting him to see her have another seizure, Adeline didn’t think about her words before she spat, “You haven’t been here for any of the other seven I’ve had in the last week, why would you want to be here for this one?”

His eyes narrowed. “Seven? You’ve had seven seizures this week? You haven’t told me about any of them.”

Knowing she’d screwed up Adeline closed her eyes for a moment, then looked at the phone. The concern mixed with anger almost made her cry, but she didn’t have time for that. “Look, I know you’re a paramedic and all, but it’s not a big deal.”

“Is that more than usual?”

He wasn’t even listening to her, and he definitely wasn’t letting her blow him off. Adeline knew all she had to do was click off the phone, or put it down so he couldn’t see her, but a part of her didn’t want to be rude.

“It’s been a tough week. I’ve been stressed. They seem to increase when I’m stressed.”

“Prop the phone up on your nightstand, beautiful. Let me be there for you with this one. Please?”

Hating that she felt vulnerable, Adeline hesitated.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Dean said in an understanding tone. “I’ve already seen you have one. Remember? I just want to be here for you. If something goes wrong, what’s your sister’s number so I can call for help. I hate thinking about you being there alone. It’d make me feel better.”

“Okay, fine,” Adeline huffed, not comfortable with it, but giving in because she didn’t have time to argue with him. She mentally noted that a bossy Dean could be hot, but also be annoying. She shifted Coco so she could lean over and prop the phone up next to the bed. “Don’t blame me if I drool and you can’t ever look at me again without picturing that.”

“The only thing I see when I think about you is beauty. Now lay back and relax. You got this.”

Adeline complied. How did he always seem to say the right thing at the right time?

“I don’t like you to see me like this.”

“You think I don’t know that, Adeline? But trust me, the only thing I see is a beautiful, strong woman lying on her bed, covered by the frilliest, girliest, pinkest comforter I’ve ever seen in my life. And all I can think of is how much I wish I was lying right there next to her, although afterwards I’d have to go chug a beer, crush the can on my head, scratch my balls, and watch football to get my manhood back.”

She chuckled. He was funny. But she felt the need to protest his sexism anyway. “Dean…”

“Shhhhh, relax. I’m here. Coco’s there. Just let it happen. You’re fine. I remember a time when I was little, I was so sick and my mom let me stay home from school…”

Adeline didn’t hear the rest of his story as the seizure took over her body.

D
ean clenched
his teeth as he watched Adeline’s body go stiff and saw her stare off into space. The view from the phone’s camera wasn’t as good as he’d like it to be, but at least he could see her face.

He hated that he wasn’t there with her. Hated that she continued to have seizures. And
really
hated that she’d kept them from him. Yeah, they’d only been out on one date, but they’d spoken on the phone every day in the last week. He felt closer to her even after only one date than he had his last girlfriend, who he’d been with for five months.

He kept talking, saying nothing important, just letting her hear the sound of his voice as her body slightly twitched and spasmed on her bed.

Chief stuck his head into the small break room as Crash concentrated on Adeline. He paused in the middle of the story he was telling her and looked up.

“She good?” Chief asked.

“How’d you know?”

The big man shrugged. “I’m next door. I can hear through the wall.”

Crash knew the walls were thin, but hadn’t thought they were
that
thin. He’d have to remember that in the future. “She’s good.” His eyes went back to the phone. “Seizure.”

“Let me know if you need to get to her. I’ll cover for ya.”

Crash looked up at Chief. As he’d told Adeline, the man didn’t talk a lot, but Crash knew without a doubt that he would bend over backwards to help any one of the men he worked with. He hadn’t lied to Adeline earlier. He trusted all his friends at the station, but Chief had an intensity about him that oozed competence and trustworthiness.

“Thanks, I appreciate it. I’ll keep ya informed.”

Chief nodded and closed the door just as silently as he’d opened it.

Crash shook his head at the easy way Chief prowled around the building. If he didn’t want you to know he was there, you wouldn’t know he was there. Period.

Turning his attention back to the phone, Crash saw glimpses of Coco as the dog shifted on the bed next to Adeline. He couldn’t imagine what life was like for her before Coco started alerting. She’d have had no advance notice of a seizure, which meant she couldn’t safely drive anywhere. Or really do anything with the confidence that she wouldn’t have a seizure. Eating out, working, walking, sleeping…anything.

Finally, what seemed like hours later, but in reality was only probably ten minutes or so, Adeline blinked.

“Hey, beautiful. Good to see you back. That’s it. No worries, you’re safe at home with Coco. You’re on your bed, it’s all good.”

“Dean?” she mumbled sleepily.

“Yeah, I’m here. We’re FaceTiming. The phone is propped up on the table next to your bed. Take your time. Relax. Take a few deep breaths. That’s it. Good girl. Can you turn to your right and look at me?”

Crash relaxed for the first time after he saw recognition in her eyes when she saw his face on her phone screen.

“I’m so tired.”

“Then sleep, beautiful.”

“Tired of having to worry if I’m going to have to cut a phone call at work short. Tired of worrying about if Douglas is gonna walk in when I’m in the middle of a seizure and freak out and call an ambulance. I’m just tired of being different. I hate having epilepsy.
Hate
it.”

“Remember I told you once about my sister?” Crash asked, keeping his voice soft and easy. God. He wanted to be there with her. Wanted to take her in his arms and wrap her up tight and tell her she didn’t have to worry about anything ever again. He thought he probably felt more helpless than she did right about now.

“You have a sister?”

Her words here slow, as if she wasn’t quite back to herself. He knew he’d told her about Laura when he was explaining how he’d became a firefighter, but she obviously wasn’t firing on all cylinders right now. “Yeah. Her name is Laura and she’s younger than me by a few years. She was born with Down syndrome.”

Adeline made a small humming noise in the back of her throat and turned on her side, facing the phone. “Oh yeah, you did tell me that before. I’m sorry about the DS.”

“Don’t be,” Crash answered immediately. “There’s absolutely no reason to feel bad for her, me, or my family. Laura is amazing. She’s the most amazing human I’ve ever met in my life. Nothing gets her down. Nothing. Some people might argue that it’s because she doesn’t understand much of what’s going on around her, but I don’t believe that for a second. She just has a beautiful, pure soul and I’m a better person for having her in my life.”

Adeline looked more with it now, but she didn’t say anything, just kept her eyes on his as he spoke.

“I spent my life looking after her. When boys or girls would make fun of her, I’d be there to protect her and tell them to get lost. When she lost her backpack because she put it down somewhere and couldn’t remember where it was, I was there to find it for her. She had no problem telling me how much she loved me, even when we were in the middle of the hallway at school. If she saw me, she’d act like she hadn’t seen me in months…running up and hugging me, saying, ‘I love you, Dean!’ at the top of her lungs. It used to embarrass me . . . until she got really sick.”

Crash paused and smiled at the vision in front of him. Adeline had bunched up the covers and was snuggled down into them as if the temperature was below freezing inside her room. He could see most of her face, but her chin was hidden in the pink material. Her eyes were slits and he knew she was fading fast. He needed to wrap this up so she could get some much needed sleep.

“I told you about when she passed out at our table. She ended up having to stay in the hospital as they did tests and tried to figure out how to treat her and make sure it didn’t happen again. I missed her enthusiasm. I missed her screeching that she loved me when we both got home from school and I missed her enthusiasm for life.”

“Where is she now?” Adeline asked, sleepily.

“Phoenix. My parents sat down with her after she graduated from high school, which in itself is somewhat rare, most kids with DS don’t. Anyway, they talked about what she wanted to do with her life. Even though her cognitive ability is different from someone else her age, she knew she wanted to live as independently as possible. My parents knew they wouldn’t be around forever to look after her, and wanted to do everything they could to give her the tools she needed to have as much independence as possible. They researched and found a wonderful group home for adults just like her in Arizona. They hate being away from her, but it’s amazing how much she’s flourished. There are adult helpers who live in the house in shifts with the residents, and they help them with housework and basic necessities. They go grocery and clothes shopping and go to work as well.”

“Where do they work?”

“There are a few businesses in the area that take in people with DS. Some stock grocery bags. Others do light cleaning at businesses. Still others greet customers as they enter stores. She’s doing amazing. And anytime I see her, she still runs up to me, throws her arms around me in a big hug and tells me that she loves me.”

“I’m glad you have that. And that she’s happy.”

“That’s my point, beautiful. She’s different, just as you are, but she’s happy. Yeah, you have epilepsy, and it sucks, but you’ve got a wonderful life, great parents, a sister you love who loves you back. And you’ve got a boyfriend who thinks you’re amazing.”

He could see she wasn’t sure how to process his statement about being her boyfriend, so she ignored it. He didn’t push the issue.

“I know. I’m just scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of losing it. I know I need the surgery, but I’m just so scared of never waking up, or at least waking up and not being the same person I am now. What if I don’t remember Alicia? Or anything about my job? Or you?” Her voice was low and barely audible.

“I’d be worried if you
weren’t
scared,” Crash told her honestly. “It’s a scary step. But it’s not like you’re gonna pick a brain surgeon off the street.” He paused and smiled at her when she chuckled. Then he continued, “You’ll do your research, choose the best doctor out there. Someone you trust, who will do the absolute best job he or she can.”

“Yeah.” Her eyes were shut now.

“And I’ll be right there beside you the whole time.”

Her eyes came open at that. “You will?”

“Yeah.”

“You can’t know that. Why would you say that?”

“Because I like you, Adeline Reynolds. Because the more time I spend talking to you, the more I like you. You’re not having that surgery tomorrow, true, but I’m thinking by the time you do have it, I can honestly say I’ll most likely be so in love with you it’ll take a fuck of a lot for anything to scare or take me away from you. You won’t be alone when you go into the hospital, and you sure as hell won’t be alone when you leave it…no matter what you remember and what you don’t.”

“Hmmmm.” Her eyes closed again and she sighed in contentment. “That was so nice of you to say. I wish you were here so I could give you a hug to thank you.”

“Me too, beautiful. Now hush. Go to sleep. I want you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed on Sunday when you take me out.”

She didn’t respond, but Crash sat and watched her sleep for quite a while. She looked so gorgeous. Peaceful. Finally, he whispered, “Good night, beautiful. Sleep well.” And clicked off the phone.

He wasn’t surprised when, several moments later, Chief opened the door to the small room once more. “All okay?”

“Yeah.”

Chief leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms over his chest. “We talked about this before, but Sledge really wants to set up a softball game with our cop friends. He wants Beth to be able to go. It’s not gonna be official, probably at a park near his house. He wants to keep it low-key and not have a ton of people there. It’d be a great time to introduce your woman to all of us. And have her meet the other ladies as well.”

Crash nodded. “I’ll talk to her.”

Chief didn’t say anything for a long moment but kept his eyes on Crash. Finally, he said, “It’s good to see you this way.”

“What way?” Crash asked.

“Concerned about a woman.”

“I’ve been concerned about women in the past. What the fuck, Chief?”

“Not like this,” he rebutted. “I was there when you almost punched Driftwood. You’ve been concerned about what
we
think about the women you’ve taken out. About your reputation as a playboy. You might think you’ve got us fooled, but you don’t. We all know you aren’t as casual about hookups as you want us to think. You might be able to pull the wool over some people’s eyes, but if you think your friends don’t know what’s up, you’re foolin’ yourself. This woman? She’s special to you.”

It wasn’t like he was trying to keep Adeline a secret from his friends, but because their relationship was so new, he didn’t want to subject her to his buddies all at once. They were all pretty alpha and could be overwhelming at times. “She is,” Crash finally said.

Chief nodded. “Can’t wait to officially meet her. I don’t consider that first day, when you blew past us taking her to the back room to have a seizure, as ‘meeting.’ Let us know if you or she needs anything.
Anything
, brother.” With that, the large man pushed off the doorjamb and headed back down the hall from where he came.

Crash leaned his head against the back of the couch. He couldn’t wait to see Adeline on Sunday. He didn’t care what they did together, as long as he got to talk to her. He was quickly becoming addicted. He wanted to talk to her all the time. Wanted to tell her about the calls he’d been on and check in just to see how she was. It killed him that she hadn’t told him about the seizures she was still having, but he understood why.

They were new. Hell, they’d only been on one real date. It would take some time for her to get comfortable with him. He hoped after Sunday she’d feel at least a little better about opening up.

Seeing Sledge and Beth together made him realize how precious life was. Witnessing firsthand how frantic Sledge had been when he’d realized his girlfriend was outside his house by herself, and probably suffering from her agoraphobia, and not giving a shit that his friends could see how upset he was about Beth’s well-being, went a long way toward making Crash realize that being in a relationship was a give-and-take situation.

He could give Adeline some security and support when she needed it.

And she could give him an ear to listen when he had a tough call.

They could lean on each other, and that was perfectly all right. He wanted that.

Yes, Adeline was strong and tough and could function perfectly fine on her own,
had
been fine on her own…but that didn’t mean she should have to.

Crash wanted to be there for Adeline.

Wanted to make sure she was okay after a seizure.

Wanted to have dinner waiting for her when she got home.

Wanted to be the first person she spoke to in the morning and the last person she spoke to before she went to sleep at night.

Watching her have the seizure and not being able to be there made it crystal clear how much he liked her. He wasn’t going out with her to simply get off or to tell his parents he had a girlfriend.

Crash wanted to be by Adeline’s side when she went in to have her surgery. He wanted to allay her fears and brush away her tears when she was upset or scared. He wanted her to meet Laura and have his sister get to know her in return.

It was a weird feeling; to know he’d met the person he was meant to spend the rest of his life with. Not only that, but to know that he had a hell of a long way to go before he could get on with spending the rest of his life with her.

He had to take it easy, not spook her. He’d take it slow…even if it killed him.

Adeline Reynolds was his. His to protect. His to shelter from the hits life threw at her, and his to love. He just had to convince her.