Shelter You (4 page)

“Oh. Thank you. I…I’m sorry, I just thought…”

“I understand but you have to relax, alright? No one can take Lily away from you if she’s not abused or neglected and clearly she’s none of those things.” He reaches behind him and pulls a card out of his back pocket and hands it to me. Our fingers graze and my body grows warm at his touch. “This is my card. You call me day or night if you need anything Kelly, alright?”

I nod my response, unable to say another word to him. He gives me a slight smile, and as quickly as he appeared he leaves. Yet, he leaves behind just a little bit of hope that maybe I can make a life for myself and Lily here.

I called the number that Officer Tate gave me the morning after our emergency room visit. Sarah, the owner of the day care center scheduled me to come in for a tour this morning. He must have let her know that I’d be calling because she didn’t seem surprised to hear from me at all. It almost sounded like she was expecting my call. I didn’t have a suit that I could wear for interviewing so I paired a gray button down top with black slacks and a light weight black jacket. It isn’t perfect but it’ll have to do and at least I look presentable. The center is located in a nearby strip mall and is close enough for me to walk to, when I get there I’m met by Sarah at the front desk. She’s young, I can’t imagine her being older than twenty five. She’s about my height, but thinner with blond hair and deep blue eyes. She gushes over Lily and takes her from me immediately carrying her around like she’s known her all along.

“I’m so glad you called. Logan said you were looking for work but were worried about childcare. He knew I was hiring and thought that this might be a great fit for you.” She has a warmth about her, it radiates through her pores. I don’t know why but I feel safe when I’m around her, I feel like I can trust her but there’s also that part of me that wants answers. It’s the part of me that has thought of nothing more than Officer Tate since I met him. There’s something about him that draws me in and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since.  But now I have to wonder if he and Sarah are more than just friends, and I find it even harder to justify the feeling that comes over me when I think of them together. It’s nothing more than jealousy in its purest form.

“How do you know Officer Tate?”

“His sister is my best friend. I’ve known him and his family most of my life.”

“He’s a good guy,” she says as she takes me on a tour of the center, showing me classroom after classroom as she goes. The center has several levels, the babies and younger kids on the lower level and the preschool age children on the second floor. There’s also a basement that houses a small library and another classroom.

She leads me into her small office and takes a seat behind her desk, still holding Lily in her arms.

“This little girl is a doll. You seem to be doing a really good job with her.”

“Thank you.”

“So Kelly, what did you think? Is this the kind of place where you’d be interested in working?”

“I think so. What would I be doing exactly?”

“Well, we’re hiring several teaching aids so you’d be helping the teachers watch after the children, helping prepare arts and crafts, getting snacks and lunches ready and some basic clean up.”

“What about Lily?”

“Generally you would be required to pay tuition for Lily, but Logan is a good friend and he asked me for a favor. He never asks for favors so I know this is important to him. Lily can stay in the infant room while you work in the toddler class.”

“I don’t know what to say, that would be amazing.”

“Alright then. How soon can you start?”

“Right away, today.”

“How about you start at seven on Monday morning?”

“That sounds perfect.”

“Okay. I just need you to fill out the employment package and I’m going to need a copy of your license and social security card for the file.”

“I’m sorry, Sarah, but that’s going to be a problem.”

“Oh?”

“I’m sure Officer Tate mentioned that Lily and I are on our own. I won’t have access to most of my documents for another few weeks.”

“Well, what happens in another few weeks?”

“I turn eighteen.”

“I see. Did your family really kick you out, Kelly?”

“Well, in a not so roundabout way.”

“You can trust me. I’m not out to hurt you, you can tell me what’s going on.”

Inside I’m conflicted, telling her my story is risky. I would be giving her the power to decide my fate. If she wanted, she could call Officer Tate immediately and at that point I won’t even have a chance to run. Can I really trust her to keep my secret to help someone who she doesn’t know live a lie? Even if it is for a good cause, even if it is to keep a mother and daughter together? Looking in her eyes I can tell that she genuinely cares, that she really does want to help us but how far is she willing to go? I still don’t trust that she won’t report me, but I let the story take shape before I can change my mind and I’ll think about the consequences later. “My parents were forcing me to give Lily up for adoption, It was either that or be cut off from my family. I didn’t think I had a choice so I agreed, but it was never what I really wanted and once I gave birth and I saw her for the first time, I couldn’t go through with it.”

“So you ran away?” She questions. I can hear the shock in her voice.

“Yes.”

“And you’re afraid to use your license or social security card because you think they may be able to trace you somehow.”

“Yes.” I say, confirming her theory. “I’ll be eighteen in just a couple of weeks and by that time it won’t matter. They can’t legally make me come home or try and take Lily away from me.”

“Is your name really Kelly?”

I hesitate briefly then shake my head.

“I’m not going to turn you in. You can tell me.”

“It’s… It’s Mia. My name is Mia.”

“Mia… Okay,” she says with a twinge of hesitation in her voice, as if she’s trying my name on for size, analyzing if it really fits or not. She looks down at Lily who has fallen asleep in her arms. “You can work under the table until you turn eighteen and then I have to put you on the books, I’m taking a huge risk in doing this for you.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. “I know. Thank you so much.”

“You’ve already been through so much. I would hate to see you lose Lily when it’s clear that you love her so much, that you’re doing everything you can to be a good mother. I think you deserve a chance.”

“I know you’re sticking your neck out for me, I do…But can I ask you one last favor? Please don’t tell Officer Tate what you know about me, at least until I turn eighteen.”

“Mia…”

“Please.”

“Logan is my friend. I can’t lie to him.”

“I know, and I’m grateful to him, to both of you. I’m just asking you to delay telling him the truth, just until I know that Lily and I are in the clear. I can’t risk my family finding me. I can’t lose my baby, not now, not after all this.”

“I will keep your secret for now.”

“Thank you.” I return smiling at her.

The past few weeks have flown by, and we’ve quickly settled into a routine. I’ve been working at the day care center four days a week and even though I come home exhausted every single day, I love it. I love the kids and Sarah, and the staff has been extremely welcoming. I didn’t want to at first but Sarah made me use my real name at the center, assuring me that no one would hear about my situation from her. Part of me is sad that I had to put my dream of going to college on hold, but for the most part I feel proud and empowered by the fact that I’m able to live on my own and take care of Lily without the help of my family. Regardless of how she came into this world, the events that led to her birth and my running away with her, I wake up every single morning happy with my decision, thankful that she’s a part of my life. Even though I had to go through a lot of heartache, I wouldn’t change any of it.

I make it home in a daze. The walk home is quick, normally only ten minutes or so; it’s Friday, and not only do I have my first paycheck but tomorrow is my birthday. All these weeks of secrecy, fear and constantly looking over my shoulder are about to be behind me. I can start to use my real name again other than at work, maybe get a Pennsylvania license and finally order a copy of Lily’s birth certificate.

I open the front door of my building, carefully getting Lily’s carriage in without bumping it. She’s bundled up and it’s hard to see her but I’m pretty sure she’s asleep. I get a wave of nausea when I make it to my apartment. I’m suddenly struck with fear, the front door is cracked open and I distinctly remember having locked it when I left this morning. At first, I think that maybe my family has found me, sent someone after me to bring me and Lily back home but when I gingerly push the door open what I see leads me to believe that my family had nothing to do with this. The more I look around the clearer it becomes that I’ve been burglarized.

I’m terrified to step foot inside the apartment as it looks now; it’s completely ravaged, destroyed, the furniture has been overturned, my television set and DVD player are gone. I’m not sure of what else they’ve taken, but in a moment of realization I run to my bedroom with Lily. I put her down on the bed, open the closet door and lift up the broken panel on the floorboard in which I’ve hidden the remainder of my money. I pull out the duffel bag and open the zipper breathing a sigh of relief when I see it all there. I quickly store it again and rifle through Lily’s diaper bag until I find my pre paid cell phone. I dial 911 and report the break in to the operator who advises me that she’s dispatched police to my apartment. She offers to stay on the phone with me until they arrive but I’m sure that whoever has broken in is gone now.

It takes around ten minutes but the sound of sirens nearby starts to calm my seriously frayed nerves a bit, when the police officers knock on my door, I finally start to feel better. I put Lily down in her basinet and answer the door only to come face to face with him, the man who’s been on my mind for over two weeks now. “Officer Tate?”

“Kelly? It was your place that was just broken into?”

The sight of him makes me nervous all over again, this time for a completely different reason. My mouth goes dry and I’m not sure if I can make a sound. I nod in response to his question. The look of genuine concern in his eyes makes my heart melt a little and for the first time since I got home I start to feel safe again.

“This is my partner Officer Clark.” I look at the older, shorter man, curiosity on his face, he’s wondering how his partner and I know each other.

“Hello,” I say timidly, hoping that he’s not inclined to ask too many questions.

“Kelly.” I turn my attention back to Officer Tate. “Where’s Lily?”

“She’s in her basinet sleeping.” I point over to where she is.

He nods, seemingly relieved that Lily is okay. “Can you tell us what happened?”

“I got off work a little while ago and when I came home, my door was slightly open. I came in and found my apartment wrecked.”

“Is there anything missing?”

“From what I can tell so far, just my television set and DVD player. I called for the police right away. I didn’t want to touch anything else,” I say, wrapping my arms around my torso protectively.

“You did the right thing,” says Officer Clark, with more of a concerned fatherly tone. I think of my dad for a second and wonder how he’d feel if he knew his daughter’s apartment just got broken into. The apparent adrenaline rush that had me operating on pure instinct begins to wear off and the reality of what has just happened starts to set in, taking control of my emotions. I fight back against the tears that threaten to spill over and quickly look away from both men.

Logan moves around me until we’re face to face and he gently grasps my shoulders. “Shit Kelly, you’re shaking.”

“I am?” I question through now chattering teeth.

“It’s okay, you’re going to be fine. You’re doing great.” He leads me over to what’s normally my living room, bends down to pick up an overturned chair, and helps me to sit down. He crouches in front of me and looks up at me with worried eyes. “Is there anyone I can call for you?”