She's Having the Boss's Baby (13 page)

“What is it, Ellie? What’s wrong, honey?” He rubbed her back. “Please don’t cry.”

“Cry?” It took her a few more seconds before she could speak again. “I’m not crying.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“That was my question,” she said, shaking her head as her laughter subsided. “Logan, what’re you doing here?”

“Logan?”
he said indignantly. “I’m not Logan. I’m Aidan.”

She rested her fists on her hips and shook her head. “Logan, does Grace know what you’re up to?”

“Why would Grace care?” he said, trying to look outraged. “And stop calling me Logan.”

“All right, fine. I’ll stop.” And suddenly she grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him up against her. Staring into his eyes, she said, “Kiss me, please.”

He gulped and said, “How about some more champagne, first?”

She let him go and smacked him on the arm. “Not before you tell me what’s going on. Or would you rather I call Grace and ask her?”

“Damn it, Ellie,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “How the hell did you know it was me?”

“Is that some kind of joke? You guys may be twins, but it’s easy to tell you apart.”

“No, it isn’t,” he groused.

“Yes, it is,” she argued. “I could tell you two apart from the first day I met you.”

“How?” he demanded.

She was taken aback and reached for her champagne glass. After taking a sip, she said, “I’m not sure what to tell you. There are so many ways the two of you are different.”

“No,” Logan insisted. “There aren’t.”

Ellie chuckled. “Well, it’s certainly true that both of you are incredibly handsome men.”

“Yes, that’s a given.”

She laughed out loud. “Oh, Logan. What more is there to say?”

“Give it a shot,” he said with an appealing grin.

This was the Logan she knew from the office, the man with whom she’d always enjoyed joking and sparring intellectually. Still, how could she possibly explain all the subtle differences she’d seen from the start between him and his brother?

She stared at Logan now and tried to pretend she was looking at Aidan. But it was impossible. They were virtually identical, from their haircuts down to their shoe size. They were both tall, both handsome, with the same shade of dark blond hair and dark blue eyes. But Aidan was more approachable, more touchable, more…lovable.

Although Grace would probably disagree with her, Ellie thought to herself.

“When Aidan smiles,” she said finally, “his mouth curves up ever so slightly higher than yours.”

“It does?”

“Yes, definitely,” Ellie said with an emphatic nod. “And his eyes twinkle a bit more. Those are two differences I’ve noticed.”

“Really?” Logan raised one eyebrow. “Did you ever consider the fact that his smile was a little brighter because of the way he feels about you?”

She paused to consider that. “No.”

“Well, think about it.”

As much as she wanted to, she brushed that improbable theory away instead and continued. “Aidan’s wit is a bit sharper than yours.”

“Sharper? Wait.” He held up his hand. “I know you’re not trying to say he’s smarter than me.”

“No,” she said with a laugh. “But his sense of irony seems, I don’t know, more highly developed than yours.” The fact was that Aidan made her smile, made her giggle and laugh, made her want to be a better person, made her want to spend her life with him. But she wasn’t about to mention all that to his brother.

“So you’re saying he makes you laugh?”

“Yes, that’s it.”

Logan smiled. “Again, this is your fault.”

“My fault? How is it my fault?”

He shrugged. “You two travel so much together that you’ve developed an incredibly tight friendship. And that’s totally cool. But it means that Aidan only shows his ironic side—and by
ironic,
I mean sarcastic and mocking—with the people he feels closest to. Like me. And you.”

“But you and I travel together, too.”

“Yes, but not as often.”

“And you’re also my friend, right?”

“I like to think so. But you and I don’t seem to have the same sizzling chemistry between us that you have with my brother.”

She felt herself beginning to blush. “Thank goodness, or Grace would take out a contract on me.”

He chuckled softly, but it faded as a thought occurred to him. “Ellie, why aren’t you attracted to me?”

She smiled. “You almost sound offended.”

“I am,” he said with mock sulkiness. “I’m just as cute as Aidan.”

She laughed and patted his cheek. “Yes, you are. And Grace is a lucky woman.”

“That’s for sure,” he said, grinning.

“And she’s probably wondering where you are,” Ellie added lightly.

“She knows I’m having dinner with you.”

“Alone?”

His lips twisted. “Not exactly.”

She checked her wristwatch. “If you hurry, you can still get back and have dinner together.”

He gazed at her intently, as if to assure himself that she would be all right.

“I’ll be fine,” she promised, smiling confidently.

After a moment, he seemed to understand that she would be. “Okay, maybe I’ll take off.”

Her smile faded. Apparently, Aidan didn’t plan on showing up tonight. She supposed she should’ve been flattered that the two men had gone to all this trouble to trick or tease her, but there was one question she wanted an answer to. She hated to ask, but she needed to know.

“Logan, can you tell me something before you go?” she said as she walked him to the door.

“Sure.”

“Where is Aidan tonight? Is he out on a date with another woman?”

He whipped around. “What? Hell, no. Why would you think something like that?”

She bit her lip anxiously. “I just can’t think of another explanation of why you’d show up instead of him. Maybe he met someone or…maybe he just got busy doing something else.” She despised the helpless tone in her voice and shook herself out of it. “Oh, never mind. Forget I said anything. Have a good evening and say hello to Grace for me.”

“Ellie, wait.” He gripped her arm. “This was stupid. It was my idea. It’s something we’ve done a few times before in the past and I thought it would be funny, but it’s not.”

“But Aidan went along with it.”

He shrugged apologetically. “I didn’t give him much choice.”

“Why?”

“Look, Aidan cares about you a lot. And it scares him to death. When you called to invite him for dinner, he…”

She nodded slowly as she realized what he was inferring. “He thinks I’m pushing him into something.”

“Yeah, and no matter what he says, he wants to go there. So do me a favor, okay?”

“What’s that?”

Logan’s smile was conspiratorial. “Keep pushing.”

Ten

“S
he’s in love with you.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Aidan said, although the words caused a
tug in his chest. With a sigh, he muted the basketball game he was watching.
“Why are you even here? You should be having dinner with Ellie right now.”

Logan grimaced. “Dude, she knew it was me the minute she opened
the door. There wasn’t much to say after that, so I made my excuses and
left.”

“You left her alone?” Somehow that bothered Aidan, knowing
Ellie was all alone.

“Not the point,” Logan snapped. “But yes, I left her alone. She
wasn’t in much of a mood for entertaining once she realized I wasn’t you—and
you
weren’t coming. She was hurt, and I don’t
feel real good about that. But my point is that she knew I wasn’t you within
seconds. The only other woman who’s ever been able to tell us apart that quickly
was Grace.”

“I don’t like where this is heading,” Aidan groused. “You’re
descending into Married Guy Hell again, aren’t you?”

Frustrated, Logan paced back and forth in front of the
television. He stopped abruptly and wagged his finger at Aidan. “Do you remember
pulling the Switch on Grace? It wasn’t that long ago.”

“Sure,” Aidan said casually, but began to frown as he
remembered exactly what had happened. It had been his idea to pull the Switch on
Grace because he had believed she was using Logan to further her career. And
within seconds of the moment they met on the beach, Grace had recognized that he
was Aidan and not Logan.

That was the first time Aidan had ever met a woman who could
distinguish so easily between the two of them. And Aidan had realized after
talking to her for those few minutes, that Grace was in love with his
brother.

Funny how the world had now turned upside down and Logan and he
had changed places.

It didn’t matter. Logan might believe it, but it couldn’t be
true. Ellie didn’t love him. She only wanted a baby, not a long-term
relationship. Right? Nothing had changed, had it?

He cast a glance at Logan, who was still blocking the
basketball game with his pacing. Aidan decided to strike a reasonable tone.
“Ellie’s known us a lot longer than Grace had, so it’s natural that she would be
able to differentiate between us.”

“Not that fast. Besides, she said she’s been able to tell us
apart since the first day we all met in New York. We have different ways of
smiling or something.”

Aidan frowned thoughtfully. She’d always been able to tell them
apart? “Get off it.”

“Seriously, she described your smile. And your eyes.” Logan
accompanied his words with a gagging sound.

“Shut up,” Aidan said mildly.

Logan held his hands up. “It’s all true, bro. I was frankly
sickened by the whole conversation, but this is what I do for you.”

Aidan snorted a laugh, but he quickly sobered. “So you left her
alone.”

“Yeah, and now I’m gonna leave you alone and go home to my
wife.”

*

Ellie latched the front door and turned off the porch
light. While she was disappointed and hurt that Aidan hadn’t shown up for
dinner, she also felt an odd surge of hope after talking to Logan. Maybe he was
right and all Aidan needed was another push or two—or three—and he would fall
neatly into her arms.

Ellie knew life couldn’t be that simple, but after spending the
last few days talking with Sally Duke, she had begun to realize that telling the
truth was the most important thing she could do for herself.

And tonight, after talking to Logan and then, once he left,
musing over their conversation and tying it in with Sally’s words, Ellie
experienced an amazing moment of insight. It had to do with her mother, of all
things.

Ellie realized that it wasn’t her mother’s
obsession
that had destroyed her; it was the lies she’d told
herself. Her mom had repeated the same lies over and over again, so often that
she began to believe them. Her mother had spent her life lying to herself and
that was her ultimate downfall.

As Ellie brushed her hair and removed her makeup, she was more
determined than ever that if she wanted to be free of her mother’s legacy once
and for all, she had to tell Aidan the truth. Whether he wanted to hear it or
not.

*

He’d hurt her. He didn’t need his brother to tell him
that. He knew Ellie. Now he stood at her door and wondered if she would even let
him into her house. Would she listen to him? Hell, he didn’t even know what to
say to her besides begging her forgiveness.

Logan had said that Ellie loved him. That she’d always been
able to tell them apart. So was Aidan coming to see her to hear her say those
words?

Aidan shoved the panicky feelings to the back of his mind and
knocked on her door. And waited.

When Ellie didn’t come to the door immediately, he began to
fear that she really wouldn’t let him in. Well, she was going to have to let him
inside because she loved him, damn it.

Finally she showed up, opening the door in her pajamas and
bathrobe.

“Aidan, what are you doing here?”

“You invited me for dinner,” he said in a rush.

“I did,” she said calmly. “But when you didn’t show up, I
packaged it up and stuck it in the freezer.” She seemed to debate whether to let
him inside or not, but after a moment she opened the door wide. “Come in,
Aidan.”

Once inside, he pulled her into his arms and held her, stroking
her hair and mumbling apologies. “I’m sorry. God, I’m an idiot.”

She rubbed his back in reassuring strokes, comforting him more
than he deserved.

Finally, he held her by the shoulders to meet her gaze. “My
brother and I sometimes forget that we’re not twelve years old. I apologize for
playing that trick on you and for ruining the meal you prepared. I’d like to
make it up to you by taking you to dinner tomorrow night.”

She took a deep breath and said, “Dinner would be nice, thank
you.”

“What else can I do to prove how sorry I am?”

“Oh, Aidan, I know you’re sorry,” she said softly.

He kissed her tenderly. “I’d like to stay with you
tonight.”

“Why, Aidan?”

“Why?” He stared at her, stunned. “Because, you know, we’re
together. You like me. And I like you. And we…you know.”

“You like me?”

“Of course I do, damn it.” He scraped his hands through his
hair in frustration because he knew he wasn’t getting his point across. “You
know that.”

She took a deep, slow breath, then reached up and framed his
face with her hands. “What I know is that I love you, Aidan. I know those words
aren’t what you want to hear, but it’s how I feel. And after talking to Logan
earlier, I realized that it was time for me to be completely honest with you. So
if you still want to be with me after hearing that, then you’re welcome to
stay.”

His gaze didn’t quite meet hers as he wrapped his arms around
her and buried his face in her hair. “I’d like to stay.”

*

He hadn’t returned the words and Ellie didn’t expect him
to. He’d apologized again for switching places with Logan and she had forgiven
him again with a smile.

But she couldn’t deny that her heart ached. She would live with
the pain for now because she had no choice. But she had told him the truth and
that helped. The simple fact was that she wanted to be with Aidan for as long as
it lasted.

Logan had advised her to keep pushing Aidan, but she was
hesitant to follow his counsel. After all, she could only push the man for so
long with no results before her self-confidence crumbled. If that happened, she
would lose everything.

So over the next two weeks, Ellie buried herself in her work.
Call it self-preservation, but she avoided all but the most cursory business
conversations with Aidan, even at night. They continued to spend their nights
together and it was wonderful as always, but where they used to chat about
anything under the sun, now Ellie did everything she could to keep the subjects
centered on business, on the office, on work in general. Nothing personal. She
had to do that. To protect herself more than anything else.

Ellie had already confessed her love. Aidan knew how she felt
so there was really no point in saying so over and over again. Besides, if she
did, if she allowed herself to indulge in loving him openly, she would get
caught up in pretending that they might actually have a life together and forget
that the only thing they had between them was a thin, legal document. They
didn’t have love. Didn’t have a future. All they had was a rather elusive goal
to get her pregnant. Once they achieved that, Ellie had no doubt that Aidan
would begin to make excuses to stay away from her. Eventually she wouldn’t see
him at all except at work or when he and his family wanted to visit with their
baby.

And if that wasn’t the most depressing thing in the world, she
had also begun to notice that Aidan seemed perfectly willing to give her all the
space she wanted, thus confirming in her mind that she was indeed losing him.
But that was impossible, she chided herself. How could she lose him when she’d
never really had him to begin with?

*

Aidan brought the small fishing boat to a stop in a
secluded bay on the other side of the island from the resort. As he set up the
deck chairs and grabbed the fishing poles, Logan pulled two bottles of beer from
the ice chest, popped them open and handed one to his brother.

Aidan took a long slug, then set the beer bottle into the
built-in drink holder on the arm of his chair. He baited his hook, then cast it
into the water.

“Perfect day,” he said, relaxing in his deck chair.

“Yeah, beautiful.” Logan joined him and readied his fishing
rod. “I love this spot.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Best decision we ever made was to buy this island.”

“I’m with you there.”

They continued to fish in blessed silence for three and a half
minutes or so, until Aidan blurted, “She’s driving me crazy.”

Logan laughed out loud. “I should’ve taken bets on how long you
could last without bringing up the subject of Ellie.”

“It’s not funny,” Aidan grumbled. “She won’t stop working.”

“I’ll just mention this in case it hasn’t crossed your mind,”
Logan said. “But Ellie is our partner now. When she works hard, we make money.
See how that works out? It’s a good thing. A win-win.”

“I’m clear on the concept,” Aidan said drily. “I’m just a
little worried about her, that’s all. Lately she’s completely obsessed with
work. Eats, sleeps and breathes it. It’s all she talks about. Even when I try to
change the subject to something else she’s interested in, like books or movies,
she winds the conversation right back to the office.”

“Must make for some stimulating pillow talk.”

“Shut up.”

“Wait. Are you two still…you know?” Logan made a tangled
gesture with his fingers.

“Shut up,” Aidan repeated more forcefully.

“Is that a no?”

“No, it’s not,” Aidan said. “We’re doing just fine in that
department, thank you for your interest.”

“Just trying to get the full picture.”

Aidan scowled. “But even at night lately, Ellie doesn’t say
much unless it’s work related.”

“Might be a defense mechanism,” Logan said as he adjusted the
rim of his ball cap to better shield his eyes from the sun.

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

Logan’s line tugged and he moved quickly to test it. “False
alarm,” he muttered, sitting back in his chair. “Okay, so you’ve got to look at
this whole situation from her point of view. It’s not like you’ve vowed eternal
love to her, so she’s starting to face facts. You’re only sticking around to get
her pregnant. Once that happens, you’re gone. So even though she’s in love with
you, she doesn’t see a future with you.” He shrugged. “And so she’s starting to
pull back emotionally.”

Aidan scowled at him. “Thank you, Dr. Freud.”

“Hey, you asked. And please, you don’t have to be a
psychiatrist to see it. Just not blind…like some people.”

“I’m not blind. I’m…focused.”

“On all the wrong things.”

“This is your fault,” Aidan blurted.

“How do you figure that?” Logan sounded outraged.

Aidan eyed him suspiciously. “Now that I think about it, she
started changing right after you pulled the Switch.”

“Don’t go blaming this on me,” Logan said, laughing as he took
another sip of beer. “If you’ll recall, you began pulling away from her at Dad’s
wedding. That’s when you started getting paranoid because of Sally.”

“No, I didn’t.” But as he thought back, Aidan realized he’d
forgotten how much he’d mistrusted his new mom. He would have to call her one of
these days and tell her he was sorry about that.

He reeled in his line and re-baited his hook, then tossed it
back into the water. And thought about Ellie.

She loved him.

She’d told him right to his face and he hadn’t said a word
back. But what could he say? He was crazy about her, but that was hardly love.
Now that he thought about it, he wasn’t even sure what love was. He just knew he
wanted to be with Ellie all the time. Was that love? Hell, he was going to go
crazy over that stupid question, and his brother wasn’t helping.

“You’re not helping,” Aidan muttered aloud.

“You talking to me?”

“Never mind.”

“I’m worried about you, bro,” Logan said, but he was grinning
like an idiot and didn’t look worried at all.

Aidan shook his head in disgust. He grabbed his beer bottle and
downed the rest of it. He would never truly understand women or love or anything
related to those two subjects and it was useless to start trying now.

Suddenly a hefty fish yanked at his line and he pulled back and
began to reel it in. He and his brother grinned at each other.

Fishing, he thought as he fought with the line. He understood
fishing. Trying to figure anything else out only led to madness.