She's No Angel (19 page)

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Authors: Janine A. Morris

BOOK: She's No Angel
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Chapter 34
T
hings weren't any better for the next few days. Isaac had a chip on his shoulder, and Charlene was feeling too low to try to mend things. One of her worst nightmares had come true, but she tried not to let it break her down. She couldn't blame Isaac for his attitude; it wasn't something a man's ego could take that easily. Then he had to go to work with a busted lip and scratch by his eye. All in all he wasn't just brushing it off, and Charlene wondered if he blamed her more than he did Kareem.
Charlene was just about tired of things unsaid so she decided to call him and try to have a real talk.
“Hey, baby,” she said once he'd answered.
“Hey,” he replied, not sounding all that happy to hear from her.
“Isaac, we made a decision to make this work and I feel like we are giving up.”
“What are you talking about, Charlene?”
“I'm just saying, we don't talk about things and confront our problems.”
“I can't talk about this right now.”
“See, I'm not arguing. I just really think we need to air some things out. We are going to be married soon and we can't live like this.”
“What? What do we need to discuss, Charlene?”
“Us. Me. The mistakes we have made.”
“They're done, we just have to move past them. No need crying over spilled milk.”
“Well, we haven't wiped all the milk up yet. What happened at the mall Saturday, I'm sorry about—”
“It's over with, Charlene.”
“Are you embarrassed by me?” she asked.
Isaac was obviously caught off guard. He didn't expect that question and wasn't sure what to answer.
“A little bit,” he replied.
Charlene's heart dropped. She had asked the question but clearly wasn't ready for an honest answer.
“Oh ... OK,” she said. “Is it your friends?” she added.
“I haven't really told my friends, I guess because that's not something you go around telling.”
“You haven't told any of your friends?” she asked.
“I told Trice; and of course he thought it was something to be concerned with.”
“Concerned with?”
“Yeah, like if I could trust you and things like that.”
“And do you?” she asked.
“I'm not sure.”
Charlene didn't reply.
“Not like that, Charlene ... but I can't lie and say that what Kareem said didn't sting.”
“But you know better than him,” Charlene said.
“Was anything he said a lie?” Isaac asked, like he had been dying to know since it happened.
Charlene wanted to lie, but she kept telling herself she'd learned her lesson from that, and besides, she didn't even know how to deny it.
“I was cool with some of his friends, but of course he was exaggerating.”
“Did you sleep with him before?”
“Yeah ... Once or twice,” she said in a low voice.
“Did you suck him off?” he asked.
Charlene didn't reply right away. She started to regret she'd wanted to have this conversation.
“Yes,” she said with shame riddling her voice.
“Did they call you Charlene the Team Dream?”
“I don't know what stupid things they used to say.”
“Have you ever heard that name before at any time?” Isaac asked with frustration in his voice.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“OK ... So what exactly did you want to talk about, Charlene?” Isaac asked, full of disgust.
Charlene had actually almost forgotten. The conversation had gone so left she forgot what she'd called for. After a few more moments, she remembered.
“I thought we should discuss this. If you can love me for the changed woman I have become or not.”
“Of course I love you for who you are, I have so many doubts about who you were and if I really know who you are yet.”
“Isaac, I understand. I just need you to trust me. I'm not proud of my ways when I was younger, but I was literally young and dumb. I've changed and I've grown, and I promise you know all there is to know about me ... this me. Things I've done in the past I would prefer to leave there because I'm not proud of it.”
There was silence for a second.
“I don't need to know everything you have done in the past, and I don't want to judge you because of it. You have to give me a bit of time to adjust to the new you.”
“There is no new me,” Charlene defended.
“Well, to me there is, because I'm learning new stuff out about you every time I turn around.”
“Isaac, my heart can't take another breakup, so let me know if you can handle it.”
There was an uncomfortable silence.
“I'm still asking myself that question, so you're going to have to give me a little bit of time to get back to you.”
“That's fair,” she said, trying to keep her cool.
Charlene figured if she wanted to separate who she was today from who she was in the past, she had to try to portray a mature, strong young woman.
Once he agreed that there was no more to discuss, they hung up the phone. Charlene proceeded about her day. There were only a few weeks left before she would have to spend the rest of her pregnancy on bed rest, so she was hoping to have one last night out with Paige and Jasmine. She completed all of her errands and everything else she had to do so that she could meet them at this new hot spot that had opened in Rochester.
 
 
They all arrived at about a quarter to eight and they all looked quite amazing. Jasmine was dressed in a teal sweater dress with a big green belt, green and black boots and matching accessories. Her hair was swept up with some drop curls hanging low and she had light makeup on. Paige was dressed as stylish as ever, and looked absolutely flawless. Her pretty brown skin was accented with gold bronzer and a light gold eye shadow. She wore a brown fitted half sweater to accent her full breasts, with a tan tank underneath. Her jeans fit her just right, enough to show off her apple bottom. The tan boots she wore came up to the knee and tied at the top. They both looked like they had the perfect happy life. Charlene looked nice herself, except with her huge belly and pouty expression she didn't look as perfect and happy. She wore a black baby doll shirt with wide-leg jeans and ballet shoes. Her hair was in a ponytail, and she had applied the right amount of makeup. Charlene looked naturally pretty and the pregnancy made her look cuter.
They sat down and chatted for a while as they waited for their drinks to come. Charlene had ordered a Shirley Temple and the other ladies some fruity alcoholic beverages. They were excited to get out and get together, because it had been a while for all of them. They checked out the cuties and bopped their heads to the music, and for the first time in a while Charlene felt young again. She still had her whole life ahead of her, but she had almost forgotten that, what with all her recent drama in trying to keep the man that she for some reason thought was her last hope for happiness. Being out with her sister and friend reminded her that there was no last hope for her, not now and no time soon. She'd asked Isaac how he viewed her, but she should have been asking herself, she realized. Embarrassed by her old ways, she imagined that her life was over, and if Isaac couldn't see beyond her past, then she couldn't, and no other man would, either. But then she realized that was false and that other than the baby growing inside of her, there was nothing about the life she led that she couldn't do over.
As the night got later, the girls got looser. They were cracking up at each other's stories and jokes, and they were conversing with all the guys that stopped by to flirt. All of a sudden, Charlene looked up and saw Rich coming toward the table. Her facial expression changed.
“Hey, ladies,” he said as he approached.
They all greeted him back.
“So, I thought it was a rumor, but it's true, you are pregnant,” he said.
“Yes, I am,” she replied.
“Who is the father?” he asked.
Everyone kind of looked at him in shock, not sure if he was being insulting or serious.
“My fiancé, Isaac,” Charlene replied.
“Oh ... OK,” he said, giving her an awkward look. “I just thought you would have told me.”
“Things have been kind of hectic, but I planned on contacting you.”
At this point Paige and Jasmine were looking back and forth between Charlene and Rich like they were watching a television program. They both knew what had happened between the two of them and were finding his subtle hints quite interesting.
“OK, well, before you head out of here I'd like to talk to you,” he said, realizing that he couldn't continue on with his live audience.
“Sure, I'll come over there by you,” Charlene replied.
Rich walked off, and Charlene made a face of irritation.
“I knew that was coming,” she said.
“What?” Paige asked.
“Him wondering if the baby is his,” Charlene replied.
“You would think he'd just be happy that you're not saying the baby is his,” Jasmine added.
“Yeah, you would think,” Charlene added.
They tried to resume their mood and tempo for the evening as if that hadn't happened, but it was taking a bit of effort. Rich had bust up the groove, definitely for Charlene. As she started to wonder if she was playing herself, calling Isaac her fiancé with such confidence, her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and got all excited. She wondered if Isaac had an answer for her, and hoped that he didn't want to have some deep conversation right then when she wouldn't be able to have one. Still, she answered with anticipation, hoping that he had called to say he loved her.
“Hey, babe,” she answered, kind of loud over the music.
“My father died,” he replied.
Chapter 35
S
he was numb sitting there at the funeral. There were over two hundred and fifty people there, and although she was proud to be there as the fiancée of Isaac, she would have much rather not have been there.
People were crying and breaking down, and some were sitting there paying close attention to the preacher. Isaac's mother was a wreck, and his aunts and other family members weren't holding up too well, either. Charlene felt emotionally absent; she didn't know how to feel. Isaac was just quiet and still. He hadn't said a word all day, and even though he looked like he was crying there were no tears falling from his eyes. Charlene could only imagine what was going through his mind.
The preacher said some great things about Mr. Milton and every word of it true including what an honor it was to know him. The more he discussed what a great father and husband he was, the weaker Charlene got. Eventually she let go and the tears came. Charlene and Isaac's mother both had faces moist from tears and Isaac was still dry-eyed. Charlene was crying for him, too, though, for the pain she knew he felt. His father meant everything to him; he wanted to be just like him. Charlene silently prayed that this wouldn't prevent him from being the father and husband he wanted to be, and that even though his father didn't get to see the baby as planned it wouldn't change his heart about being a family man, now that there was nobody to show. It was a silent and selfish prayer, but Charlene did worry about it some.
After the funeral everybody gathered at Isaac's parents' house. Charlene sat in the corner with one of Isaac's younger cousins. Tatiana was seven and she was as cute as a doll baby. Charlene sat with her, hoping to avoid all the depressing faces scattered throughout the house including Isaac's. She knew he had every right to pout but she didn't know what to say or do. Some of his family members came up to her to rub her belly and tell her how excited they were. Some of them asked about the sex, and if male was she going to name him Isaac Junior. She told them she thought that's what Isaac wanted, and if so then, yes, she would. She was happy that the baby inside of her was causing a more positive conversation, one about life and not death. She wished that Isaac could even for a second think that way. She could only hope that even if he didn't then, that he would at some point soon. What she was afraid of was that he wouldn't, or not for a long time. She knew it was hard, the death of his father was literally his worst nightmare come true. He loved his father so much; it would take more than the birth of his child to erase the pain from the death of his father.
Chapter 36
T
he next couple of weeks were definitely tumultuous for Isaac and Charlene. Charlene had only two weeks left before she had to go on maternity leave and remain bedridden. Isaac took only a week off before he returned back to work full time, and to most people it didn't appear as if he'd had a sufficient amount of time to mourn his loss. As much as it was his fear to lose his father, the one man on Earth that he treasured and looked up to, he hadn't prepared himself mentally or emotionally for that day. Then again, he knew, we are never quite prepared.
It had crossed Charlene's mind that Isaac might feel differently about marrying her now that his father was no longer around to see it. She was saddened by his death as well, but she also couldn't help but worry about her future and the future of the life growing inside of her. Charlene had grown a lot over the past few months. She had not only learned about herself, but also about other people. For the first time in her life, she was happy that she had had the past that she did, because she realized that otherwise she wouldn't be the person she was today. She wouldn't be aware of the good and the bad in the world; she wouldn't know what a lack of self-esteem can do to a person, and how easy it is to mistake sex for love and acceptance.
Charlene knew that she probably wouldn't get an answer from Isaac anytime soon, because the timing was wrong. Still, she couldn't help but wonder what his answer was to her question, about whether he could handle it now that he knew about her past. She was dying to know but never had a chance to bring it back up, and no time ever felt right. She hoped that he wouldn't bring it up one day and tell her he decided that he couldn't. That was one of the reasons she went ahead and set the date for their wedding. She figured she would make it that much harder for him to back out. The day she told him, she thought he could use a happy conversation. He did seem excited and agreed upon the date, so she figured that he was all for things moving forward.
 
 
A couple of days later he called and asked what the wedding colors were, and that took Charlene by surprise. She didn't know why he asked because he didn't say before he rushed off the phone, she was happy that his mind was on the wedding and not constantly harping on his father's death. She got the feeling he was telling somebody or doing something with the information, because he asked the question and said he would call her right back. The girls were wearing fuchsia, black and white and the guys a blush pink, black and white. Initially she wanted a destination wedding, but she decided against it because she would be too far along to travel.
The wedding plans were the only thing that kept Charlene in a great mood. She was able to drift off to her fairy-tale land, and just plan for and imagine her fairy-tale wedding. Her parents were paying for most of it, but Isaac already told her whatever they didn't agree to pay for he would cover, so she was in heaven. She was having it at Palisades Palace, and the ceremony was to be held outside in their beautiful chapel. She'd ordered a dozen doves and a dove trainer to release the doves upon the announcement of man and wife. The reception hall was one of the most exquisite in New York. It had three sections of tables, raised at different heights. It was ideal for the ballerina she'd always dreamed of having at her wedding. She wanted a ballerina dressed in all white to do a nice ballet dance, and she had finally hired someone she really liked. Things were coming together. Soon she would have to do everything over the phone from home, so she tried to do a lot in advance.
She was in the middle of looking at the new
Brides
magazine when her phone rang. She answered and it was Rich.
“What happened to you that night?” he asked.
“I'm sorry. Isaac's father passed away and I rushed out.”
“Oh, you guys are back together.”
“Yeah, we worked most of it out.”
“No wonder you said it's not my baby.”
“No, Rich, I said that because it's not.”
“I think we need to sit and talk,” he said.
“I don't think it's a good idea for you to come over.”
“Meet me at Sammy's restaurant,” he said.
“When?”
“In an hour ... We need to have this covered so that it doesn't come back up later.”
“It won't,” she said.
“Yeah, OK. You say that until the
Maury Show
is calling me.”
“Fine, Rich, I will come for a second. I can't stay, though.”
Charlene felt a little uneasy about going to meet Rich, but for some reason she was always a little weak for him. She wasn't sure if it was because of all the guys she'd dealt with before Isaac he treated her the best, for what that was worth, or just that he was so damn fine. Either way, she knew that it would be one more secret from Isaac. After some thought, she figured she would rather get it out of the way, than risk it becoming a rumor or some misunderstanding that got back to Isaac.
 
 
Once she got to the restaurant, it was crowded, and she immediately wanted to back out. Just as she was contemplating getting back in her car and calling Rich to clear it up she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned and it was Rich. He was dressed in a tan sweater with saggy jeans and his constructions, with a Padres baseball cap. He had two huge diamonds, one in each ear and a dangling diamond chain with a cross at the end. It looked like he'd just gotten there himself, because he had the keys to his Benz still dangling in his hand. As usual his beautiful complexion and big brown eyes turned her into mush as soon as she looked at him.
“Hey, I was thinking what a bad choice of location,” she said.
“I know. Well, you said you weren't staying long, so let's sit and chat over there for a second,” he said, pointing at an almost-empty corner of the place.
They started to head across the floor, asking people to excuse them and trying to make room for her to waddle through. She passed one large group of people, and she heard a voice that was too familiar.
“Charlene?”
Charlene looked up and it was Isaac. She almost fainted. She felt like this was one more thing to add to the big mess her life had become. There was a point when she practically had a second identity, and now she couldn't seem to sneak and do one damn thing without getting caught.
“Hey, Isaac,” she replied with a nervous twitch in her voice that was a new problem she'd acquired.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
Charlene knew that he'd already seen Rich, because he looked right at him when he called her name. Luckily, Rich was smart enough to keep walking, but that also made her look guiltier.
“I stopped by to get some of those shrimp, I was craving them.”
She wanted to disappear. What was she to say? To lie or not to lie, at this point what was the difference?
“Oh, OK. Go ahead. Your friend is waiting for you,” Isaac said and turned back around and started chatting back with the guy that he was sitting with.
Charlene looked at the back of his head for about five seconds. Then she glanced over at the corner and saw Rich sitting there looking in a different direction trying to look normal. Charlene heaved her oversized purse over her shoulder and walked right out the exit.

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