Shifted By The Winds (39 page)

“I’m not sure what that has to do with anything,” Florence said, only her eyes showing her sudden uncertainty. “You have broken the rules of the school.”

Carrie stared at her, wondering if she had ever really known her friend. When had free-spirited Florence become controlled by rules? “The people of Moyamensing were
dying
, Florence. The cholera hospital was full of Irish people sent there to
die
.” She took a deep breath. “I couldn’t help them at the hospital because I wasn’t allowed to. I
could
help the remaining people. So I did.”

“Did you?” Elizabeth asked, skepticism dripping from her voice.

Carrie met her eyes. “We saved Faith from death. We saved close to two hundred other people who had already fallen ill with cholera. Only five people were too far gone for us to help. Every single one of them had been slated to be transported to the hospital. And we saved many hundreds more from coming down with cholera in the first place.” Her resolve strengthened as the words flowed from her mouth. They had done all that. “The homeopathic remedies have been proven to work.
Proven
. I simply used what I read would work. And it did.”

“But it was wrong,” Alice insisted.

Carrie looked at her with disbelief. “It was wrong to save hundreds of people? How can you possibly say that? You’re going to school to be a doctor. Doesn’t that mean you want to help people?”

“Yes, but we have to help them with medicines approved by the American Medical Association,” Alice responded, her voice sounding wooden and flat.

“Oh, I see,” Carrie responded, not bothering to hide her sarcasm. She could feel her anger growing. “I was supposed to save them with medicines that don’t exist? What you are really saying is that I should have just turned a blind eye and let them die, perhaps taking Biddy and Faith with them. Would that have been better?”

Alice stared back at her with blue eyes full of pain and confusion. “Carrie, it’s not that simple,” she stammered.

“Turning your back on people and letting them die is never
simple
,” Carrie retorted.

“You’re putting everything the school is about in jeopardy,” Florence said.

“How so?” Carrie asked. She knew the answer, but she was going to let Florence tell her. She hoped letting Florence hear it coming from her own mouth would enable her to realize how ridiculous it was.

“Several of our professors actually believe homeopathy can be effective, but they feel it is more important to gain the support of the American Medical Association if women doctors are ever going to be accepted and taken seriously,” Florence answered.

“So being taken seriously is worth the life of hundreds of Irish people in Moyamensing?” Carrie pressed.

“There is sometimes a price to be paid for change,” Florence responded. Her voice was weaker this time, but her eyes were just as stubborn.

Carrie suddenly felt sick. The fatigue pressed down on her again as she heard the words come from her friend’s mouth. She looked around the table. “And the rest of you agree?”

Alice nodded hesitantly. Elizabeth followed with a firm nod of her own, though she couldn’t erase the regret in her eyes.

Janie met her eyes squarely. “No, I do not agree with them, Carrie. I believe you did the right thing.”

Carrie wished that was enough to ease the ache in her mind and heart, but it wasn’t. Still, she was glad not to have to stand completely alone. “I will never agree that letting hundreds of people die a horrible death is worth
anything
. I chose to become a doctor because I want to heal people and help them stay healthy. If it is a requirement to ignore the suffering of people in order to become a doctor under the auspices of the American Medical Association, then all you have done is confirm I am making the right choice.” She had come to grips with her decision during her days in Moyamensing. This conversation was doing nothing but confirm what she knew she had to do. She pushed aside her sadness and sense of loss as she looked at Florence, Elizabeth and Alice. She dearly loved these women who had become close friends, but her integrity demanded she stand for what she knew was right.

“We have to move out,” Florence said stiffly. “I have spoken with one of my professors about this. Living with you doesn’t just put our own acceptance into the medical field in jeopardy. If we were to stay here, it would put the entire school in jeopardy.”

Carrie stiffened. She wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t lessen the sick feeling in her gut. “Are all of you leaving?” she asked. It wasn’t as if she needed them there, but she hated the wrenching feeling of losing people special to her.

“Yes,” Elizabeth said.

Carrie gazed at her, full of baffled resentment at the medical association that felt it could mandate the beliefs and actions of every member. She had seen Elizabeth fight for equal rights for women. She had seen her endure humiliation to become a doctor. Her ability to do the right thing, however, seemed to have reached its limit.

She looked away from Elizabeth and let her gaze settle on Alice. “And you?”

“I have to go,” Alice said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Carrie asked gently. “Sorry to leave here, or sorry you are making the decision to side with an institution willing to allow hundreds, and possibly thousands, to die because of ignorance and a ridiculous agenda against a legitimate practice simply because it takes profits from their pockets and won’t promote useless and dangerous drugs?”

Alice flushed and looked away.

“You’re being arrogant, Carrie,” Florence snapped.

“Am I?” Carrie asked, surprised her voice wasn’t reflecting the wild pounding of her heart. “I have not said one thing that is not true. If you can prove me wrong, I will be more than happy to listen.” She had a sudden flash of Abby talking to her on the streets of Philadelphia when she was struggling with her beliefs about slavery. The older woman hadn’t judged her for not being able to let go of all she had learned growing up. Abby had given her time. She had loved her and merely asked questions.
She had given her grace.

Carrie took a deep breath and spoke into the long silence that followed her challenge. “I’m sorry our differing beliefs and actions have brought us to this point. I am going to deeply miss all of you,” she said. “I’m very grateful we had the chance to become friends, and I hope that somehow we can bridge all this and continue to be friends.” Elizabeth stared at her with cold eyes, but Florence’s face filled with sadness, and Alice made no attempt to hide the tears welling in her eyes.

Elizabeth turned to Janie. “Are you leaving the medical college, too?” she demanded.

Janie nodded. “Yes. I am.”

Carrie felt a deep surge of relief that this wasn’t going to come between her and Janie, but she could also see from the expression on her friend’s face that it had been an agonizing decision.

“Why?” Elizabeth demanded. “You’ve been going to classes. Why are you going to throw this away?”

Janie took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. “I almost didn’t,” she admitted. “I was afraid of taking another unpopular stand. It’s not that much fun to be ridiculed and humiliated. When I feel it coming from my closest friends, it makes it even more difficult,” she said. “In the end, I simply chose to do what is right for me.”

Carrie watched as the impact of her words hit the other three women. Alice looked ashamed. Florence looked even more confused. Elizabeth, though her face remained hard, shifted her eyes away as she blinked back tears. Carrie suddenly realized this was just as hard for her housemates as it was for her and Janie. They were also doing what they believed was the right thing to do, but a disagreement didn’t have to undo all their months of friendship.

Carrie reached out and grabbed Alice’s hand while her gaze settled on the other two. “Just because the American Medical Association has mandated a policy against homeopathy, that doesn’t mean they can control friendship. So what if we disagree? We can still be friends, can’t we? We’ll figure out a way to navigate this,” she declared. “We’re women. We have to stick together. I understand you have to move out because of the policy, but surely that doesn’t mean you can’t still come to Cromwell for the Harvest Celebration,” she said persuasively. “We’ll all have a wonderful time.”

Alice and Florence both looked hopeful, but Elizabeth shook her head firmly. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I have waited a long time to become a doctor. I won’t do anything to put it in jeopardy. My professors would not understand if I joined you.”

Alice and Florence sagged with disappointment, but neither refuted her declaration. It was obvious who was in charge.

“So you are going to let the men of the American Medical Association dictate your friendships?” Janie asked. “Is that how you want to live your life? Are you really willing to give up all your rights?”

Elizabeth folded her arms and tightened her lips, but she said no more. Alice and Florence exchanged anxious looks, but still wouldn’t speak up.

A long silence suffused the kitchen. Carrie’s heart filled with both compassion and sadness as she realized this might be the last time they would ever sit around this table together. Visions of meals ringing with laughter taunted her. Thoughts of talks late into the night as they learned each other’s history and life stories tightened like a boulder in her heart. She had known there would be a price to pay, but suddenly the price seemed too high. She squeezed Janie’s hand and stood. “It’s been a very long day. I am going to bed now.” Janie stood with her.

Silence followed them out of the room.

Moses reined Champ to a stop as he waved his arm over the fields. “Our biggest challenge will be keeping the fields fertile.”

Perry nodded thoughtfully. “I’ve been doing some reading in the library. My understanding is that tobacco plants leech almost all the nutrients from the soil. In the past, farmers have had to keep cutting down trees and plowing new fields to continue growing tobacco.”

“That’s true,” Simon agreed, still wondering how Moses had talked him into this tour of the plantation. He had to admit Perry had lost the arrogance that had oozed from him in his first few weeks on the plantation, but he had seen nothing to indicate the man still didn’t consider himself far superior to himself and Moses simply because he was white.

“So how did you have such a huge harvest?” Perry asked.

“This year was easy,” Simon answered when Moses remained silent. He understood Moses was trying to make him carry this conversation. Fine. He would talk, but it wasn’t going to do anything to change his mind about working at Blackwell Plantation. “The fields lay fallow throughout the entire war, with the exception of the small number of acres used to grow food crops for Richmond before Carrie had to flee. The land had time to rest and replenish itself. We put in last year’s crop very late, so most of the fields were not used. They were ready to produce a hefty harvest.”

“What about next year?” Perry asked keenly.

Simon smiled. He was enjoying the conversation, even if he wasn’t particularly fond of the person he was talking to. He loved everything about farming. The joy of watching tiny transplanted tobacco seedlings grow into tall, strong plants never grew old to him. He had hated it as a boy, being forced to toil for endless hours without water under a brutal sun and under the constant fear of the whip, but now that he was in charge of the process, it had become pure joy. “We will fertilize the fields with marl,” he said.

“Marl?” Perry asked.

“What do you use to fertilize cotton?”

“The cotton seeds are turned into cottonseed oil and meal. We use the meal to fertilize each of the plants.” Perry’s face held a mixture of anger and pain. “It’s all I know how to do,” he said as he stared out at the fields, “but that life is gone.”

Simon felt an unwanted surge of sympathy. He understood that look of frustrated hopelessness, had experienced it many times himself, but he didn’t want to feel anything other than resentment toward Perry. He pushed aside the thought that if he wanted Perry to change, perhaps he needed to be willing to change himself. “Then you have to learn something new,” he retorted. He wasn’t willing to feel sorry for Perry, but he was willing to give him information. “Marl is a natural fertilizer that consists of clay and calcium carbonate. It counters the depletion of lime, so it neutralizes soil acidity.” Simon felt a flash of satisfaction when he saw the stunned surprise on Perry’s face. “Marl beds are found all up and down the Virginia coast because it was once covered by the ocean. Marl pits have actually been found more than a hundred miles inland. The marl was formed by the breakdown of rock and the buildup of seashell, animal and plant remains. It’s actually a mixture of sand, clay, azote, magnesium, iron and limestone.”