Shifted Temptations (8 page)

"Off to work?"

"Yep, I have meetings all day," Liz said while sliding on a pair of matching pumps. "Hopefully they won't run long and I can be home for dinner."

"No worries if you're not. It's my turn to cook. And by the way, I love the dress."

"Thanks, you are looking good yourself," she said with a smile.

I looked down at my comfortable maternity wear and thought 'yeah right.' Knowing exactly what I was thinking as usual, Liz rolled her eyes and left for work.

Not long after Liz had gone, I was driving to my doctor's office. There was nothing special about the visit, just a routine check up, but I was feeling anxious. I had always felt that way before seeing the doctor. I guessed it was the fear of finding something wrong that had my heart beating a little faster.

I was positive everything was
all right, but I didn't think I could handle losing the baby. She was so precious to me and she was a part of them, Jordan and Alex. Only one was the biological father, but I did not want to know which. I liked to think of the baby as being a part of them both.

As my pregnancy
progressed, I had begun to wonder if I had done the right thing by telling them I was going to have an abortion. They had made their opinion very clear on having children. Neither wanted to have a baby, but if I thought about it, what guy wanted to start having kids right at the beginning of a relationship?

I pressed lightly on the brakes, easing to a stop at a red light.  As I sat waiting f
or it to turn green, I wondered, not for the first time, if maybe I should get in touch with them. They did have a right to know about our baby girl.

I
did not need anything from them, we would be all right alone. I also knew it would never change how they felt about me. The three of us were over and done, that was a given, but I was eaten up with guilt over keeping the news from them.

As I was turning the dial on the radio, a car horn and revving engine got my attenti
on and my head jerk up to see the commotion. In that horrific moment, everything began moving in slow motion.

A green Taurus was swerving through the intersect
ion, and heading right toward my little VW bug. I scanned around me and found nowhere to go. I looked back at the oncoming car just in time to watch it slam into my passenger side.

My mouth opened into a scream as my car rocked
and spun from the impact. Glass shattered, metal groaned and I was thrown sideways into the door with the momentum. I remembered later how strange it was to actually hear the disgusting sound of bone cracking as my body slammed against the car door.

The air bag deployed, making me flinch back. I was too close to the steering wheel and felt my face sting with fresh burns. I could hardly breathe
with all the powder in the air.

Suddenly
, all was silent and unmoving. I tried to focus on my breathing, but could not stop coughing as smoke filled my lungs. Remembering the baby, my calm breathing went out the window. My right hand wrapped around my belly as I began to cry and pray that she would be okay.

Just the thought of something happening to Ava was causing a
full-blown panic attack. I couldn't get enough air and my heart pounded so hard I felt it in my ears. My vision was getting blurry as the pain spreading throughout my body became more intense.

I barely registered a muffled voice to my left, but I couldn't respond. The blurry vision was turning dark and I
began feeling numb. My last thoughts before my surroundings disappeared, was that I hoped the baby would be safe and that Jordan and Alex could have been there with me.

~ 7 ~

Jordan

Rubbing my bleary eyes with the palms of my hands, I tried to focus on the bright computer screen. However, the colors and words only blurred together. With a half-hearted curse, I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes.

I really needed a break. I had been working non-stop for the last three mo
nths on very little rest. A good night’s sleep was getting harder and harder to come by. I was down to only about an hour a night. Not good, I admitted, but I knew I would survive. I had been through worse during a mission, I told myself.

Yet, e
very damn time I closed my eyes another set awaited. Eyes so sweet, they reminded me of chocolate swirled with caramel. They danced with sensuous amusement, their long lashes torturing me with flirtation.

As I
watched the pleasure turn to glistening tears, an ache would begin in my chest. I was the cause of that misery and I could never forgive myself for that.

However,
what was unbearably worse, was when those warm eyes that could melt the coldest block of ice, turned hard as stone. An impermeable wall replaced a unique openness that I loved. The unforgiving accusations would bring me instantly awake. The only thing I could do was work, keep my mind busy, and away from the misery that I caused.

A glance
at the clock told me it was mid morning already, another sleepless night for me. With a heavy sigh I stood and headed to the kitchen for more coffee. The pot was empty so I quickly started a fresh batch and searched for something to eat.

Alex walked into the kitchen and I turned to look at him. He gave me a once over, probably noticing my wrinkled appearance. I was in desperate need of a shower and clean clothes, am
ong other things.

Just as Alex was about to say something the phone rang. As he reach
ed over to pick up the wall mount I wondered what he was about to say. Most likely, it would be the same thing as usual. He would accuse me of not sleeping or eating enough, maybe even tell me I stink. I shrugged; it was all very predictable and unnecessary. And true, I admitted.

If Alex just took one glance in the
mirror, he would see something similar. The clean clothes could not hide the dark circles or obvious strain that etched into the lines of his face. We were both taking a trip in hell and I was pretty damn sure it was permanent.

I was looking at Alex's face and cataloguing every wrinkle and sad expression that hadn't been there a few months ago, whe
n my heart began to pound faster. Alex looked shocked at first, but then whatever the person on the phone said had his skin blanching and his expression turning into one of pure terror.

"What hospital?" Alex asked the caller abruptly. He nodded and said, "We'll be there soon."

"What's going on?"

Alex was looking ill
, so I knew whatever he was about to tell me was going to be bad. I just had not expected it to be so dire.

"Sam,” Alex whispered.

I froze at the sound of her name. We had not spoken of the beautiful woman that used to live down the hall, in months. It had been too painful, but not as painful as this, I thought.

I had no words for the fe
ar that was running through me. I could not think, did not want to think of what could have happened. I could only wait for Alex to tell me.

He didn't.
Instead, he took off for his bedroom, returning with his shoes on and his keys in hand.

"What happened?" I asked as I watched Alex run around frantically.

Finally, he stopped and stared at me in surprise, as if he had completely forgotten my presence.

"Sam, she was in a car accident. We have to get to the hospital in
Knoxville."

A sharp pain spread through my chest and I pressed
my hand against my breastbone. Dark spots appeared in front of my eyes. I shut them briefly and took a deep, painful breath. I couldn't give into it, I scolded myself.  It was time to be strong, time for control.

I did
not say or ask anything more. Opening my eyes, I dropped my hand away from my aching heart and took the car keys away from Alex's cold fingers. I would be driving.

The
drive to the hospital was made in restless silence. The trip was long, almost an hour. I was assuming Sam lived near the hospital and it shamed me further to know we had hurt her enough, that she felt she needed to move so far away from us.

After parking
, we hurried inside and went straight to the information desk. We were both upset, but I’d had more experience with blocking out my emotions, so I was the one who spoke to the nurse. As soon as we found out Sam's room number, we shot off to the elevators as quickly as we could.

When we exited, my nose wrinkled
in disgust. I hated the smells in a hospital, a mixture of sickness and disinfectant. I could not control the shiver that went down my spine as I tried to breathe normally. It smelled like death waiting.

We walked down the long hallway until I noticed a
pretty blonde was standing outside of a room, waiting. I recognized her as Liz, Sam's best friend. We had met a few times, but I didn’t acknowledge her as I passed. I wanted... no, I
needed
to see Sam first.

I heard Alex speak to Liz as I ope
ned the door. I would have to thank Alex later for letting me have a moment alone with Sam first. The door clicked shut behind me, leaving the room quiet except for the soft drips of the IV and a few other noises made by machines I did not recognize.

Lying on the bed was a small woman wrapped tightly in hospital blankets.
She was facing away from me, on her side, so that all I could see was her long brown hair spread out behind her. I hesitantly walked closer. Long dark lashed rested against her high cheekbones. Her soft lips were parted slightly and her breathing was even. She was asleep.

I stood
silent, staring at the beautiful woman and detested how vulnerable she looked. Her skin was pale except for the dark bruises and scratches that marred her face and neck. I leaned closer. Were those burns?

At that moment
, if the person who had hit her car were standing in front of me, I would have killed them. Hell, for all I knew, the accident could have been Sam’s fault, but my anger did not care. My fist clenched as I held back a curse by grinding my teeth together.

It was then I noticed her eyes had opened. The same
sweet colors I saw every time my own lids lowered. They looked at me in sleepy confusion.

"Jordan," she croa
ked just as those dancing eyes began to glisten with unshed tears. Her lips trembled and I could not take it. My breathing became erratic and my heart pounded furiously. I could not stand there and watch what would happen next, what always happened. I refused to see her turn to stone like in my dreams.

Abruptly, I turned away from the most special woman I had ever known and walked out of her hospital room. I scarcely noticed that Liz and Alex had stopped talking and were starin
g at me.

I hurried
by, my legs making long strides down the corridors. I barely registered the people that called out to me in irritation as I pushed past them roughly. I felt seconds away from a panic attack and I refused to lose such control.

All I could think about was gett
ing away. Away from Sam and the accusations I would see in her eyes and more importantly, away from the disgrace and agony I felt for letting her down.

~ 8 ~

Alex

I watched Jordan rush by a wide-eyed Liz and disappear into Sam's room. As anxious as I was to see her, I would talk to Liz first and let Jordan have a moment alone. Maybe he would do the same for me when he was finished. There was so much I wanted to say to Sam, but it would have to wait. First, I just needed to make sure she was okay.

"Hey
Liz, how is she?"

Liz turned away from watching Jordan storm by and looked
at me with one eyebrow raised

I shrugged. "He's just worried. So am I, so can you tell me what happened?"

“Thanks for coming."

She looked away and took a deep breath before turning back to me
. Her blue eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I wasn
't sure if you would come and I am not completely convinced that I did the right thing by calling you."

I placed my hands in my jean pockets;
my shoulders hunching a little. I knew what she meant. She wasn't sure if we could be trusted.

"I'm glad you did
.”

Liz pursed he
r lips in anger. "Truthfully, I am more than a little pissed at you both. You hurt my friend."

I looked down at the floor and nodded. Hell, I was pretty pissed at m
yself as well, so I understood.

"But...”

My head jerked up. Liz’s blue eyes locked on mine.

“
I know you care about her."

"You do?"

Liz nodded. Her angry expression had softened and I was surprised to see a slight smile playing on her lips.