Shimmer: The Rephaim Book 3 (27 page)

‘I have to go.’

‘Mya,’ Jude says. There’s nothing for a few seconds and I think maybe she’s hung up.

‘What?’

‘Don’t let your crew hear about this from anyone but you.’

She laughs, cold and short. ‘It doesn’t matter, nobody will trust me now. Outcast from the Outcasts.’

The phone disconnects.

A QUICK TRIP

Rafa slams his palm into the nearest shelf and the metal rattles. He winces and puts his hand against his bandaged torso. ‘That still hurts.’

‘You need to cut her some slack,’ Jude says and slides his phone back into his pocket. ‘Let her explain herself.’

‘She’s had twelve years to explain herself. And the crap she’s given Gabe over that time…the hypocrisy is mind-blowing. If either of you remembered, you wouldn’t be so understanding. You’ve always had a soft spot for her, but even you’d be losing your shit over this.’

‘Given that Gaby and I possibly found the Fallen behind everyone’s backs, I’d say we’re not in much of a position to throw stones.’

He waits to see if I’ve got anything to say. I don’t—as much as I’d like to. I’ve been wearing bile from Mya since the moment she walked into that iron room the first time. And the whole time she’s been part of a family hell-bent on destroying the Rephaim. I pull my hoodie tighter around me. How has that worked for her, given she’s one of us?

‘Her family is part of everything we’ve ever touched,’ Rafa says. ‘The Sanctuary, Iowa, even LA. That’s no accident—it’s a fucking conspiracy. And she’s been up to her neck in it.’

Ez straightens a box on the shelf—the one with the stuffed dog in it. ‘What do you think about the family’s claim they receive instruction from Michael?’

‘More bullshit. You seriously believe the Captain of the Garrison is dispensing divine wisdom to a cult in a cornfield?’

‘Someone’s giving them information. And someone’s giving Dani visions,’ she says.

Jude absently traces the old scars on his knuckles with his thumb. ‘We need to understand more about how archangels communicate with humans.
If
they communicate. I skimmed through the files on the laptop—not much there. But there were a heap of books about angels on Patmos.’

I stare at him. ‘You want to go back to Greece?’

‘Only if you come with me.’

‘Zarael knows about that place, Jude. The iron room might be gone, but he can still attack us. He can still hurt us.’

‘Zarael thinks we’re all here. He’s got no reason to look anywhere else right now.’

I check Rafa. He’s up for it. Unbelievable.

‘We’ll come,’ Zak says. ‘Just in case.’

‘What about Maggie and Jason?’ I say. ‘What about Dani? We can’t leave them here unprotected.’

‘We’ll be five minutes. Ten tops. Nobody will miss us. Face it: Nathaniel can’t be any more pissed off at us than he already is.’

‘But—’

‘You four go,’ Ez says. ‘I’ll keep an eye out upstairs. Go. I’ll call if there are any dramas.’

I zip my hoodie. My fingers are shaky so I shove them in my pockets. I don’t want to risk facing Gatekeepers again, but I can’t let Jude and Rafa go to Greece without me, not even for five minutes.

‘Okay.’

The cottage is in darkness when we arrive. I smell the fireplace instantly, charcoal and ash.

Rafa digs out a camp light and torch from a cupboard and gives me a guilty grin. One of those would have been handy when I was stumbling around in the dark here last week. He turns on the lantern and the lounge room comes into focus in stark white. Blankets are strewn around the antique couch, a reminder of the night Rafa and Jason brought me here after my first encounter at the Sanctuary. Light bobs across the plaster and the school of copper fish shimmers over the mantel.

We follow Jude down the hallway. Shadows creep up the walls and along the floor. The house is quiet, a cold shell. It seems like forever since I’ve felt sunshine on my face. Jude goes straight to the bookcase in the room that was his in another life. He hands the lamp to Zak and starts pulling out books and flicking through them, tossing the ones he wants to take with us on the bed.

I hear Rafa moving about in the room next door. Torchlight sweeps the hallway, disappears. I make my way into his room, find him poking around in the top drawer of a dresser. There’s enough light in here to see his bed—still made—and a bookcase jammed with motorcycle parts. The bedside table is cluttered with a half-full bottle of Jack Daniels, an empty glass, a tattered paperback and a pile of coins in an old glass ashtray.

‘I knew this was still here somewhere.’ He pulls a knife from the back of the drawer, takes it out of its sheath and shines the torch on it. I move closer until our shoulders touch.

‘That’s beautiful,’ I whisper.

It’s no ordinary knife. The long blade and handle are made from curved steel, and both are engraved with elaborate patterns. I lean closer, realise the markings on the blade are rudimentary tigers. The steel is old and worn. It looks antique, valuable. Not something you’d leave lying around in a drawer of an abandoned cottage.

‘You gave this to me.’

I take the knife. It’s heavier than I expect. ‘Please tell me it was a gift and not something I stabbed you with.’

He laughs. ‘It’s a Damascus dagger—a collectors item. Even you wouldn’t stick that in someone. Not even in me.’ He glances at me over the knife, knows he’s brought up the one thing neither of us wants to think about just yet.

‘Twenty-first gift?’ I say, trying for humour.

‘Christmas. The last one before it all went to shit.’

I stand there with the dagger in one hand and in the other the katana Rafa gave me before we stormed the Butlers’ camp. ‘Have we ever exchanged gifts that weren’t designed to kill?’

A wry smile. Shadows dance on his face as he leans in. ‘It’s never too late to start a new tradition.’ For a second I think he’s going to kiss me, and then more light spills into the room and he pulls back.

Jude’s in the doorway with a stack of books tucked under his chin. ‘Can I have a minute with Gaby before we go back?’

‘Sure.’ Rafa shuts the drawer behind him without looking. He takes the dagger from me, tucks it in the back of his jeans and gives me the torch.

Jude waits until Rafa and Zak are moving down the hallway. He puts the books on Rafa’s bed in a neat stack, studies me in the torchlight. ‘Are you okay still being at the Sanctuary?’

I shrug. ‘Honestly? I’d rather take our chances in Pan Beach. But we may as well find out as much as we can at the Sanctuary now, because when Nathaniel realises we’re not coming back into the fold, he won’t keep the door open for us.’

‘Gaby, we can go to Pan Beach if that’s what you want. We’re not staying in Italy if you don’t want to.’

For a second, I nearly tell him I
don’t
want to stay in Italy—I want time alone with him, with Rafa, far away from the complications of Nathaniel and the rest of the Rephaim. But it’s not all about me. ‘We need more time with Dani. I doubt Maria will agree to come to Pan Beach when we can’t offer protection from demons. Plus there’s no guarantee the Outcasts would follow us and Rafa needs them right now, and…’ I hesitate but I have to say it. ‘So do you.’

‘Gaby…’

‘Jude, I get it.’ I sit on the mattress and his books spill over onto the doona with a soft thump. ‘Micah’s told me things about who I used to be—given me hope I wasn’t a complete idiot in that other life. The Outcasts are the only ones who can give you the reassurances you want.’

Jude lowers himself next to me. It’s a moment before he speaks. ‘I want to know the truth about the past, about who I was. But I don’t want to be the guy who walked away from you.’

I bite my lip. ‘And I don’t want to be the girl who let it happen.’

‘Then no matter what happens next—no matter what we find out—we’re never becoming those people again. I meant what I said at Rafa’s place: nothing is tearing us apart. I don’t care what happened before or how we treated each other…if it all comes back, we’re going to get our heads around it and move on. Deal?’

He knows as well as I do we can’t make that sort of promise. We don’t know who we were or what we did. Or why. But he wants it to be true and so do I—more than anything—and maybe that’s enough. So I nod.

‘Deal.’

PARENTAL GUIDANCE RECOMMENDED

The four of us arrive in the hallway. Ez opens the door before we knock.

‘Dani’s in the bathroom.’ She glances at our swords. ‘No trouble?’

Zak brushes her arm with the back of his knuckles. ‘We’re good.’

Maggie and Jason stand up when we come in.

‘Hello Margaret.’

‘Rafael.’ She beams at him.

‘Good to see you, Rafa,’ Jason says.

‘Bet you never thought you’d say that, Goldilocks. I suppose you’re angling for an apology now?’

‘I don’t want an apology. I want to take Dani and Maria away from here.’

Rafa looks at him. Really looks at him. ‘I still don’t get you—why all the freaking secrets?’

‘All I’ve ever wanted to do is protect the people I care about. Keep them away from Nathaniel.’

‘Even the iron bitches?’

‘I didn’t know what they were planning—’

‘Yeah, I get that. I don’t get why you cared so much about them.’

I can see he’s not the only one who doesn’t get it: Ez and Zak are curious, so is Jude. But when Jason talks about grief and loneliness, it feels familiar. It tugs at me. His choices about the family in Iowa weren’t always smart, but I think I understand them.

Jason glances at the bathroom door. Water still runs in the sink on the other side. ‘Apart from the seers in my family, the women in Iowa have been the only people who know what I am. Who I could talk to without pretending to be something I’m not. You’ve always lived with Rephaim. You have no idea what it’s like to have to lie to everyone you meet.’

‘They lied to you,’ Rafa says. ‘Fed you nothing but horror stories about us.’ He digs his thumb into his shoulder, stretches his neck. He’s stronger again since the shift from the storeroom.

‘I’m not naive, Rafa. I knew they had an agenda, I just didn’t understand what it was. And I knew the Rephaim weren’t all bad: I’d met Gabe and Jude.’

Ez goes to the bed and Maggie slides across so she can sit down. ‘So, everything you learned about us came from Iowa, and they got their information from Brother Stephen…and then Mya,’ Ez says and sits down. ‘But how did Brother Stephen end up here in the first place?’

The bathroom door opens. Dani comes out, her cheeks pink and eyes clear. A waft of fruity soap follows her. She falters when she sees Rafa.

‘Hi,’ she says.

‘Hi yourself.’

She crosses the room. Maria waits in the doorway, drying her hands. Dani stops right in front of him, tilts her face. The top of her curly head reaches his chest.

‘You know, normally I’d be a little unhappy at having someone poking around in my brain.’ He’s curious, soft. ‘I wouldn’t recommend making a habit out of it. My head really isn’t the place for impressionable girls.’ He lowers himself to the floor. I do the same and Dani squeezes in between us.

‘Is your chest okay?’ she asks him.

‘You saw that?’

She nods, solemn.

Rafa looks away, closes his eyes for a moment. ‘What else?’

‘What happened to Taya.’ Her lip trembles. ‘And I heard Bel say what he was going to do to Gaby if she went there. I didn’t understand most of it…’

All the air is dragged out of me. Rafa leans back against the wall. For a second he’s back in that room, or the room is in him. His eyes are distant; he won’t look at me. And in his avoidance, I understand: Bel’s taunting was explicit, horrific. Rafa’s willingness to die in that farmhouse wasn’t only to protect the Rephaim. He was willing to die there to make sure Bel could never get me in that room and do the things he planned.

Dani takes Rafa’s hand—twice the size of hers—grips it tight. Brings him back from Iowa. ‘Does it hurt?’ She’s focused on his t-shirt again, on the spot where Bel left his mark.

‘It’s not that bad. Here.’ He lets go of her and pulls his t-shirt over his head. His chest is still bandaged. I lean around Dani and help Rafa unwind it. I peel away the dressing, aware everyone is watching. I’m trying not to think about touching his bare skin. The sight of his puckered flesh is like a bucket of cold water: the crescent moon, red and angry. The line slashing through it. Cruel punctuation. Maggie makes a strangled sound.

‘Yeah, that’s looking great,’ Zak says.

Dani bites her lip. ‘I’m glad that demon is dead.’

‘Only fifty or so to go.’ Rafa meets my eyes over the top of her head.

‘Was Bel the worst?’ she asks.

‘No, kid. Zarael is. He makes Bel look house-trained.’ Rafa puts his shirt back on.

I lean forward to pick up the bandage and my ponytail falls to one side. I feel something touch the scar on my neck—my old scar, from the accident. I flinch from habit.

‘What happened to your Rephaim mark?’ Dani’s fingers are still in the air.

I roll up the bandage, wishing I hadn’t recoiled at her touch. ‘Bel put his blade through my neck last year. Apparently.’

‘Oh.’ She starts to sink into that guilty place she keeps for thoughts about Jude and me and last year, but then rebounds almost immediately. ‘Jude, did your mark get scarred too?’

His fingers instinctively find the crescent moon on the nape on his neck. He kneels down and lifts his hair. Dani runs her fingertip over his mark, also scarred, but less hideous than mine.

‘Huh.’

Jude lets his hair fall back into place. ‘What are you thinking?’

‘When you didn’t come back last year and I couldn’t feel you, I thought you were both dead. But you were alive, I just couldn’t see you. So then I thought that whoever changed our memories must have hidden you from me. But now…’ She chews on her thumbnail, looks older than her twelve years.

I glance at Ez. She didn’t miss the significance of any of that.
Whoever changed our memories.

‘You think it might have something to do with our marks being defaced?’ Jude asks. ‘But what about Mya? You’ve never been able to see her.’

‘She has a tattoo over hers. I saw it when she was fighting.’