Shipwrecked (9 page)

My people did
this to you, Quinn.

Anna thought of
Rowan and the courage it must have taken to fight off the English soldiers,
knowing that he was so vastly outnumbered.  She could visualize Rowan, beaten
and bloodied on the floor.  How had his spirit remained unbroken after this?

“He had loved her
almost as much as I did,” Quinn chuckled, remembering how Mairi and Rowan would
go after one another.  “They fought like brother and sister, both of them were
bloody stubborn, and they had a few rows fit tae bring down the roof.  But
there were other times when they were the best of friends, I think that their
personalities were just tae similar for them tae get on well all the time. I do
ken that he loved her, and he almost died tryin’ tae keep her safe.”

Quinn glanced over
his shoulder to check on his brothers, thoughts having come back to Rowan at
present.  Rowan was still walking next his horse, leading her by the reins,
chatting amiably with Malcolm, who was kicking the larger rocks out of the
roadway with his boots.  Quinn could tell that Malcolm was frustrated about
something, and it appeared that Rowan was counseling him about whatever plagued
him.

Quinn turned back
around and readjusted himself in the saddle, collecting his thoughts.  They
passed a few more moments in silence before he began to speak again.

“Malcolm was so
brave, he wasna yet 16 at the time.  It couldna have been easy for him tae
watch them beat Rowan; I’m still not sure how he managed tae get away and come
find me in the field.  I think that Malcolm thought they had killed Rowan, I
just remember how wild his eyes were with fear.”

Anna now realized
the importance of Malcolm reiterating to her that he wasn’t a child, and had
been forced to grow up fast after the death of his parents.  This sweet boy had
seen far too much over the course of his short life.  His brothers were now
everything that he had left in the world.

“I can still
remember the way that she looked at me, the piercing look in her eyes when I
walked into the house.  Her bottom lip was swollen and bloodied, and she had
the beginnings of a black eye, and her hair was all amiss.  I ken that she must
have fought like the devil against them, she and Rowan made quite the pair when
they were riled up, but there were just tae many of the soldiers for them tae
fight off.  Seein’ her like that made me want tae kill them, but there was
nothing that I could do, there were just tae many…” Quinn said, swallowing hard
as he relived the emotions, the helplessness and regret that he felt about not
being able to save Mairi.

Anna gripped
Quinn’s hand more firmly, trying to show him that she now understood his pain,
and offering her support as he continued to relive his horrible memories.

“The leader of the
soldiers threw her up on the kitchen table, she fought like hell, but he was
just sae much stronger than her… I tried tae get tae her, tae fight them off,
it took three of them tae restrain me.  He beat her badly tae get her tae stop
fighting him, but she wouldna, stubborn as she was.  Had tae get another man
tae come and restrain her on the table.”

Hot tears flowed
down Anna’s cheeks as she listened to Quinn recount the painful memory.  These
soldiers were English, they were her people, and she hated them for what they
had done to the Murray brothers.

“They took great
joy in beating me, laughing and taunting me as I continued tae try tae get to Mairi. 
There was nothing more that I could do…she was beaten so badly, she finally
gave up and lay still against the table.  When I saw the fight go out of her, I
stopped resisting them sae that I could lock eyes with her, be there for her in
the only way that I could,” he said, voice trembling, tears flowing freely down
his cheeks.  “Her eyes said everything tae me, they pierced my soul with the
depth of her love, and I knew that she was saying goodbye.  I mouthed the words
telling her that I loved her in Gaelic, and she smiled ever so slightly.  She
held my gaze as he raped her, and there was nothing that I could do tae stop
it.”

Anna squeezed
Quinn’s hand sympathetically, and wiped the tears from her eyes with her other
hand.  She could not find words to express her sorrow for Quinn, and she now
fully understood why he was “broken.”

“They drug Malcolm
and I outside sae that he could finish alone with her,” he said quietly, wiping
away his own tears.  “Pulled Rowan out as well, he was still breathing, but
just barely clinging tae life.  They tossed him on the ground next tae us and
tied us all together with rope.”

Quinn was silent
for a moment, collecting his thoughts before continuing. “I’d hoped that he
would finish raping her and leave her be, at least give her a chance tae make
it.  They drug us over towards a wagon, Malcolm and I had tae pull Rowan
between us because he was still unconscious, and I saw her through the open
door of our house, still lying on the table, still as a board.  Right then, I
felt my heart die.”

“Oh my God,
Quinn,” Anna whispered, bringing her hand up to her mouth to muffle the sound
of her crying.

“Raping her wasna
enough, he had tae kill her too,” Quinn said angrily, voice ringing with rage. 
“I dropped Rowan and lashed out at the soldier nearest tae me, screaming for
him tae kill me too.  That’s the last thing that I remember before he punched
me square in the jaw and knocked me out.” Quinn reflexively reached up and
rubbed his right jaw as if still feeling the pain of the blow.

 “I came to in the
back of the wagon later that day, and I remember looking up at Malcolm.  He had
Rowan laid out on one side of him, and me on the other, and he was just sitting
there with this look of shock, of utter disbelief on his face.”

“Poor Malcolm,”
Anna said, the soft spot in her heart for the boy growing.  She felt bad now
for laughing at him when he professed his love for her in the chapel.  He was
right; he was definitely not a child anymore.

“I wondered why
they hadna just killed us with Mairi, and Malcolm told me that the Colonel had
decided to spare our lives because we reminded him of his own three sons who
were apparently similar to our ages.  Being ever sae merciful and not wanting
tae see further bloodshed,” Quinn seethed, remembering the words of the Colonel
who had raped Mairi, “he chose tae have us transported tae the New World
instead of killing us.  I’ve wished a thousand times over that I could have
died right there with her,” Quinn said, voice tortured, “because all I do now
is wish that I was dead sae that I could see her again.”

“Is that what she
would have wanted you to do?” Anna whispered cautiously, afraid to enrage Quinn
by speaking of Mairi’s memory.  “I think that she would have wanted you to keep
living, to live for both of you.”

Quinn roughly
pulled the horse to a stop.  “Malcolm!” he shouted over his shoulder, to which
the boy immediately responded by trotting up next to the large black horse.
“Help Anna down, we’re takin’ a break.”

Malcolm reached up
and lifted Anna down carefully from the horse.  She looked up at Quinn, sorry
that her words had hurt him.  He was looking into the forest blankly, lost in
his memories and regret.

                                                            ***

“Ride with me,”
Rowan said, grabbing Anna’s hand as she prepared to climb back onto Quinn’s
horse.

Anna regarded him
quizzically and jerked her hand away.

“You’re riding
with me now,” Rowan said more firmly, glancing up at Quinn with eyes that
challenged him not to interfere.

“You’ve not spoken
to me all day, and now you expect me to obey your orders?” Anna’s temper flared
as she squared her shoulders and crossed her arms defiantly.

“Ye have been
quite rude tae her today,” Quinn chimed in, smirking at his brother.

“Buggar off,”
Rowan said dismissively at Quinn.  He shifted his gaze to Anna, and exhaled
slowly, collecting himself.  She could be so stubborn, so frustrating at times,
but damn she was beautiful, especially when she was mad.

“Alright, I have
been rude today,” he admitted reluctantly. “Will ye please ride with me, Anna?”

Anna’s defenses
softened and she let out her breath slowly.  “Alright,” she said, conceding.

Rowan did not
speak as she followed him to where the mare was tethered.  He helped Anna up
onto the mare, and then swung himself into the saddle behind her.

“I’m still mad at
you, I wasn’t planning to give in,” Anna said coolly as she tucked her wayward
hair behind her ear.  “I just didn’t want to make a scene in front of your
brothers, and it’s very hard to say no to you when you look at me like that,
Rowan.”

“Look at ye like
what?” he asked innocently, kicking the mare into motion and trotting up the
road ahead of Quinn and Malcolm.

“I don’t know,
like
that
!  You get this lopsided smile, and when you look at me like
that it make me feel…I don’t know…” she trailed off shyly, unable to find the
right words to describe how Rowan could affect her rational thoughts just by
looking at her in a certain way.

Rowan smiled
mischievously into her hair and didn’t respond.

“Why did you leave
me last night in the hallway?” Anna asked suddenly, her emotions still stinging
from his rebuff last night.

“Jesus, Anna.  I didna
leave ye.  Well, I guess I did, but I didna know what else tae do!”

“I was so
confused, Rowan!  I’ve never kissed someone before…and I had all of these
feelings, and you made me feel…” she broke off, exasperated and hurt by his
actions.

“I didna ask for
this either, Anna!  I didna ask for whatever it is between us – hell, ye act
like this is my fault!”

“I just felt so
alone, you left me there after you kissed me like
that
, and after that I
thought that you had feelings for me,” Anna said, face flushed as she
remembered what it had felt like when Rowan kissed her.  She was glad that
Rowan couldn’t see her face now, and looked blankly out at the road in front of
them.

“Christ, Anna.  I
do have feelings for ye…that’s why I left!  Ye must be blind not tae see how
much ye affected me…how much I wanted tae kiss ye, tae touch ye!”

“I thought that
you did, and then you walked away and…”

“I had tae get
away from ye!” Rowan exclaimed, imploring Anna to understand.  “I’ve never felt
like this about a woman before, and when I kissed ye…when I kissed ye I
realized that if I didna walk away I wouldna be able tae stop.”

“I didn’t want you
to stop,” Anna whispered, fighting back tears as she admitted to herself just
how much she had enjoyed kissing Rowan.

“Yer promised to
another,” Rowan reminded her softly.  “And I do have feelings for ye, but with
a good conscience, I canna let that happen again.”

Anna stared
straight ahead, and made an extra effort to straighten her spine so that she
was not leaning back against Rowan.

“I’m sorry, Anna. 
I willna let it happen again,” Rowan whispered.  The wind kicked up the
arousing feminine scent of her hair, stirring his senses, and he closed his
eyes as his body began to respond to her.

Stop.
  He
chanted over and over in his mind. 
Ye must leave her be.

Anna thought of
Jonathan, and she knew that Rowan was right.  Kissing Rowan Murray had been a
very bad idea.

Chapter Six

Close to
nightfall, they made camp at the edge of a small stream, having found a place
slightly off the road to tether the horses.  Rowan had made a small fire, and
Malcolm passed out the remainder of the bread that he had purchased from the
inn.  Quinn had stalked off into the forest, giving the lame excuse that he was
going to try his luck at fishing the stream.  Anna knew that he wanted to be
alone with his memories, now understanding why Quinn often chose to be by
himself, retreating from the group.

Anna finished her
supper and warmed her hands by the fire, thankful for its protection against
the chill in the night air.  Rowan had not spoken to her since they made camp,
but she could feel his eyes burn across her skin from time to time as he looked
up from his bread, studying her when he thought that she wasn’t watching. 

Anna knew that
Rowan was working hard to deny the attraction that he felt towards her in the
same was the she was fighting the response that he evoked every time he looked
at her.  Her pulse quickened as she thought of how he had openly admitted his
feelings to her this afternoon.

She looked over at
Malcolm to see that he had curled himself into a fetal ball, and was fast
asleep with his back resting against a fallen log.  Anna stood, and took the
blanket that was covering her lap over to Malcolm.  Kneeling down, she spread
the blanket carefully over him and tucked it in around his sleeping form.  She
bent her head to his and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before standing up
and quietly backing away.

Rowan realized
that the corners of his mouth had involuntarily turned up into a slight smile
as he watched Anna care for his little brother.  He quickly wiped the
expression from his face so that Anna wouldn’t see it.  She came and sat down a
few feet away from him, resuming the act of warming her hands over the fire.

“Here,” he said,
clearly startling her as he tossed her his blanket.  “You’ll get cold.”

“Thanks,” she
said, still looking into the fire.  “Should we go look for Quinn?  It’s getting
really dark.”