SHOOT: A Novel (11 page)

I stared at him,
speechless. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but I was clueless where
to start. Besides, I didn’t want to be inappropriate or come off as judgmental.
This, however, was something completely new to me. It was something that would
have never crossed my mind. One thing was for certain– I was moved by his
passion. In every word he spoke and every photograph I saw him take, even if
they were just test or portfolio shots for me, his passion and natural gift
were exceedingly clear. There was no way around it.

“Well, I’m moved.”
I smiled.

Brad broke out
into a grin, “Would you consider going on a tour of my studio? Maybe even try a
quick photo shoot?” I broke out in another giggle, trying my best to hide it
behind my glass.

“Seriously?”

He instantly stood
up and extending his hand, looking me dead in the eye and waiting to see if I
would accept. I hesitated for a moment. It was all so intense and things felt
like they were moving so quickly, but something told me he would never ask me
to do something I was uncomfortable with. Not to mention, I was extremely
curious about it.

So I drained my
drink before reaching out to take his hand, excited for what else the night had
in store for me.

It wasn’t long
before Brad and I stumbled into the studio of Amorous Productions. It wasn’t a
far walk from the bar nearby. When we walked in Brad didn’t bother turning on any
of the lights on, despite taking the time to close and lock the front door
behind us. We stood for a brief moment in the dark lobby before he took my hand
and lead me straight into a photography studio at the back.

 
“I’ll be right back,” he let go of my hand and
walked off to what I assumed was another room somewhere on the other end of
where we had entered. I stood nervously shifting my weight from foot to foot,
trying to make anything out in the darkness, but not even the street lamps
filtered through the windows.
 

A moment later I
saw a soft glowing light turn on from the room he was in, but it barely reached
into the dark room where I was standing. I was able to see what he held in his
hands when he returned– a bottle of wine, two wine glasses, and a leopard print
leotard. I stared at the piece of clothing, wondering what in the world that
was about. I still thought his suggestion of an impromptu photo shoot had been
a joke. After all, it had sounded rather erotic.

But now it was starting
to feel real and I was unsure how to handle it. I was still sure he would never
pressure me into anything, but this entire situation threw me for a loop.

He poured the wine
into each of the two glasses and said casually, “You have
the
most gorgeous breasts and legs I’ve ever laid eyes on.” I had
been reaching out to take one of the glasses of wine from him, but I paused. I
held my breath. Although he didn’t say it in a creepy or suggestive manner, the
statement itself made my heart race, even though it was out of left field.

Brad pushed the
wine glass into my hand and raised his own to offer a toast. I hesitantly raised
mine and the glasses clinked together.

“You know, they’d
look incredibly shapely and beautiful in this leotard.” There was a brief pause
in which I tried to catch up to him, slowly processing what he was saying until
I realized the “they” he referred to were my breasts and legs. My cheeks burned
and my stomach tightened. My entire body tensed. He was so forward and direct,
but there was something about it that made my knees wobble. He was still as
smooth and confident as ever.

 
“Would you ever let me photograph you in it?”
Brad held up the leotard in his other hand just enough so that the dim light
from the other room shined on it.
 

I pressed the wine
glass to my lips and took a long, slow drink. The more I thought about it, the
more I started to feel excited. Brad was incredibly charming and he was easily
the only man I’d ever felt such a powerful attraction to. Between that and
enjoying every aspect of my entirely new life, I felt my inner daredevil
starting to bubble up inside of me.

It was true, there
was a small part of me that worried about disappointing him, or anyone really,
but that was far from my driving force. I had spent the better part of my life
living according to customs and values set in my childhood—customs and values
set up so that I wouldn’t offend or disappoint anyone. To put it simply, my
mother would have a heart attack if she knew what I was doing. But leaving home
had only been the beginning of breaking out of that shell. I took another long
drink of wine and thought carefully, eyeing the leotard still draped in Brad’s
hand.

“Where can I
change?” I asked quietly.

“Right here,” Brad
replied with his typical half-cocked smirk. Everything was so quiet I could
swear I would hear a pin drop in the other room. Then came the rush of blood to
my ears and I suddenly felt like I could hear nothing.

Despite my racing
thoughts, I reached out and took the leotard from Brad’s hand. The fabric was softer
and lighter than I had anticipated.

“Right here,” I pointed
to the floor below me, testing him to see if he’d double down. Brad nodded
slowly, not once breaking eye contact with me. There was a strong charge
between us and for the first time I was sure it wasn’t only on my end. The
chemistry was definitely mutual.

My eyes clenched
tight, moments of the evening replaying in my head. My heart started to pound,
but with that came a slew of new feelings I thoroughly enjoyed– I felt
empowered and even sexy. I felt
good
.
It was like the way Brad had made me feel during our photo shoots, only much
more amplified and at a deeper, personal level.

Although I had
never undressed like this in front of a guy before, the lighting was dim and
the man standing in front of me was one that made my skin feel electric. He was
encouraging, and dominant, but never forceful. That was easily one of my
favorite things about him. I felt safe and comfortable with him even though I
was exposed to so many new things and feelings. If there was ever a time to
break out of my shell, this was it.

I casually zipped
off my dress and stepped out of it. As soon as I was out of my dress the cool
air of the studio kissed my skin, causing goosebumps to spread across my tummy.
I held up the leotard to spread it out before slipping into it and finding
comfort in its softness. Brad barely made a whisper as I undressed, but I knew
he was watching me carefully.

“Step back into
your heels.” He instructed once the leotard was in place and I fixed it to my
liking.

I followed his
instructions without thinking twice. Suddenly I was blinded by bright overhead
lights and by the time my vision had adjusted, I saw Brad standing a few feet
in front of me holding his camera. I stared at the black device in his hand for
a brief moment before giving a curt nod of my head, doing my best to relax the
muscles in my shoulders.

“Stand back,” he
told me, his playful half-smile setting me at ease.

I took a few steps
back until I felt the backdrop against me. I squealed and took a small step
forward, placing my hand over my mouth shyly. Then I heard the first click of
the shutter. He always loved getting my candid shots more than anything else.

 
“Try to relax.” His tone of voice was
different than what I was used to hearing during our two photo shoot sessions before.
There was a heavy edge of passion this time, but there was also something
intimate about the way he was directing me. “Run your fingers through your hair.”
I heard a couple clicks of the shutter, but when things went silent, I turned
to look at him as if I were a lost puppy. That’s when a barrage of clicks came
from the camera, too many to count.

“Brad,” I tried to
whine playfully but it just wasn’t my style.

I bit my lower lip
again and gazed toward the side of the room only to hear more clicks. He wanted
me to just be myself. He was so confident those would be the best shots. Recalling
one of the first instructions he’d ever given me, I felt the confidence to whip
my hair around as I turned to face him and placed my hand on my hip and pushed it
out. Immediately, he snapped a few pictures before lowering the camera in
admiration.

I turned to face
him full on before allowing my body to fall on the floor in a sitting position,
one leg draped over the other, my face angled upward. I loved the power he
seemed to have over me without even touching me, sometimes without so much as a
word directed at me. It was incredible and exhilarating in ways I had never
known. I stood up and heard him clicking away. I wondered how on Earth those
shots would ever prove to be good ones.

As I walked up to
him with a bright expression, he didn’t stop taking pictures. “Let me see
them,” I asked.

He looked into my
eyes and nodded, but gave me a quick peck on the cheek, right at the corner of my
lips, before turning to walk over to the room from where he’d gotten the
leotard. He pulled up an extra chair for me behind a large, expensive-looking
desktop computer and I dropped down to it, happy to get a break from standing
in my heels.

He took the card
out of his camera and stuck it into a slot on the computer and pulled up the
photos so we could have a look at them together. I had to admit, the leotard
looked quite nice even though I originally thought it might be tacky. It was
clear, however, that it was a high-end fashion piece.

 
“You look amazing,” he commented as he
continued to click through the photos he took. Some of them looked exactly the
same to me, but I was sure an expert like Brad could spot a difference; even if
it was just a subtle smirk of my lips or wink of my eye.

“You have a
perfect body and could make a fortune working for me. You’re the most beautiful
woman I’ve ever photographed.” He paused before turning to look at me with a
genuine smile.

My cheeks were
red, I was sure, and the fluttering in my chest was strong as ever. My breath
caught in my throat and all I could hear was my own heart beating. Never had I
felt such an intense chemistry with another person and this felt like a loaded
moment.

He leaned in and
paused momentarily before finally bridging the gap between us, softly pressing
his lips against mine.

 
My breath, my heart, my thoughts—everything went
still.

 
When he pulled away I inhaled a few times as
if I were having trouble catching my breath. Brad smiled smugly before standing
up to get our wine glasses from the other room, inviting me to sit on the couch
so we could keep drinking and talking.

What I didn’t
count on was falling asleep, there on the couch in Amorous Productions, curled
up with Brad Hastings—the man who showed me the world without my shell.

It was early
morning, but I was already in the kitchen of my Brooklyn apartment making
breakfast with my roommates. Although we all got along great and chatted at
least briefly at the end of our days, our busy schedules kept us from being
able to go out or spend too much time together– it was a rare occasion all four
of us had a block of free time together.

 
“How about going to see an exhibition at the
Museum of Modern Art?” Caroline asked as she finished making the freshly
squeezed orange juice she’d been working on.

I however remained
silent, even then. I had been quiet most of the morning, finally prompting
Sarah, “Is anyone home?” I felt Sarah’s perfectly manicured finger poke my arm.
I turned to look at her and gave a faint smile; my mind was elsewhere.

“You know,” Nadine
started, “
You’ve
been absent for some
time now.” She was staring right at me so there was no mistake who she was
talking to. “I don’t just mean today. What have you been up to on your weekends?
It feels like we’ve barely even seen you in the past month.” She asked as she
ran her hand through her blond hair.

“It’s true!” Sarah
exclaimed suddenly, moving up to playfully get in my face. Her brown eyes were
always so alive with excitement and I had to bet that was one of the main
things that got her casted. “Haven’t you missed us?” Sarah pouted teasingly.

I was spreading
mashed avocado on piece of toast and tried to shake off the question by smiling
at her, “Of course I do.” I took a bite of my toast and chewed slowly, but it
was clear the others wanted to hear more from me. “Not to be a sour apple, but
I’ve sort of taken to explorin’ on my own.”

They didn’t have
to know
what
exactly I was exploring.
Hoping that answer would be enough to keep my roommates at bay for the time
being, I quickly finished eating before announcing that I had to go. I smiled
at them and grabbed my purse before scurrying out the door.

As the cool
morning air hit my face, I started to reflect on what had happened. Could I really
tell them about Brad? I grimaced. They worked with him too so there was always
the possibility of things getting awkward and complicated. Furthermore, I didn’t
want to blow his cover for Amorous Productions. Telling them about our relationship
made that increasingly more likely. He was already thinking about leaving Shoot,
but I knew it was something he wanted to do on his own terms. Not to mention, I
wasn’t even sure if I was allowed to date someone from the agency.

My pace slowed to
a stop and I suddenly began to feel lost. What had I gotten myself into? I had
no clue
what
to even call
whatever
it was I was doing with Brad. Were
we dating? And, if we were, how serious was it? My head started to spin so I
held onto the wall of the building beside me in an attempt to calm my nerves.

 
As much as I wanted to tell my roommates about
everything that happened, I couldn’t help but feel afraid. What would they
think of my decisions? Would they judge me? Would they go so far as to tell
Sonja? Even though I trusted them and doubted they were petty or sneaky people,
I also had to consider the possible professional repercussions of opening up
about my off-the-clock relationship with Brad.

I sighed and
rubbed my temples before continuing my walk to the subway. Trying to clear my
mind and get rid of negative energy, I got on the L Train and rode it into
Manhattan to meet Brad at his studio. My thoughts and decisions would have to
wait. I sauntered into Amorous Productions some time later, quite a bit calmer
and feeling excited to see him.

 
“Hello,” said Chérie, the older French
receptionist employed at the studio.

“Brad is waiting
for you in the back,” Chérie greeted me with a smile. I gave a small nod of my
head before continuing to walk toward the photography studio in the back.
Expecting to see Brad waiting for me with a grin on his face, I was shocked to
discover something
completely
different.

I gasped and
dropped my bag on the floor, mouth gaping at the sight in front of me. I was
staring at a system of hanging black leather and chains, but I had no clue what
they were for, much less why they were there now that I was visiting. Brad came
out from the side to embrace me before pulling me into a long, passionate kiss.

With the shock of
what I’d just seen and suddenly being pulled into Brad’s arms, I felt like too
much was happening and the floor was slipping out from beneath me. I
practically collapsed in his strong embrace, slowly getting lost in the kiss.

“I thought we’d
try something a bit
different
today,”
he muttered against my lips when we finally broke apart from the kiss.

I pulled my head
back to get another look at all the leather and chains. I felt intimidated. As I
continued to stare, I started to slowly get an idea of what sorts of objects
were hanging up, including a riding crop I’d only ever known to be used on
horses back in my little farming town. I gulped; is this what they called BDSM?
I heard only loosely of it, but never thought I would experience it.

“What… What do you
mean
try
something different?”

Brad smiled
reassuringly and took my hand to lead me to the other side of the studio, where
he laid out a leather bodysuit for me to wear. I stared at it for a few seconds
before speaking up, “I’m not sure if I can do this. It’s too much.”

Brad squeezed my
hand, “I won’t make you do anything you’re not comfortable with.” He pulled me
by the shoulder so I would turn to face him. “If you are okay to try this out,
it will be beautiful. Not to mention it will bring in a lot of money and
opportunities for both you and the studio.”

He did help calm my
concerns, but not by much. Even if we wouldn’t actually be
engaging
in anything, I would still be dressed in a way I never thought
possible. I could only imagine what sorts of poses he would tell me to do and
what kind of facial expressions.

 
Erotic modeling was one thing but, to me, this
was on a whole different level. I bit my lower lip and turned to look at the leather
bodysuit, running my hand over its smooth surface. He hadn’t once been wrong
when picking out my outfits or selecting the best photographs. I shut my eyes
and thought of the experience and his words; as each second passed, I felt more
and more persuaded. I
wanted
to do
it. I just didn’t know if I
could
do
it.

“Okay.” I said, my
mouth slowly turning up in a meek smile. “But I have your word we stop if I say
so.” I said as I placed my hand on his chest.

Brad nodded and brushed
a stray strand of hair behind my ear, “Of course.”

I pulled off my
blouse and took off my pants, setting them on the table next to the leather
bodysuit. I grabbed it and slid into it carefully, struggling a bit here and
there, before finally smoothing it over my body and walking over to look at my
reflection in the mirror.

Brad walked up
behind me and wrapped his arms around my small waist, hooking his index finger
in the big O-ring hanging from the suit’s front zipper. He tugged it down
slowly until a good amount of cleavage was exposed. I turned from side to side,
checking myself out in the mirror. I was glad I wore a plain, black bra. Even I
couldn’t deny the suit looked great on me. I looked to Brad’s eyes reflected in
the mirror and saw how they were scanning my body up and down. I loved the way
he looked at me. It wasn’t always sexual, half the time I felt like he was
admiring me like a work of art. No man had ever made me feel so appreciated.

“Let’s get
started,” I said with an excited smile starting to form. He spun me around and
kissed me passionately again before instructing me to stand in the center of
where everything was laid out.

“Start by posing
on that stool.”

I saw a tall stool
with a back covered in deep red velvet, wooden legs painted pitch black. I sat
sideways on it and draped an arm over the back, bending my other arm to curl my
fingers inside the zipper of the leather bodysuit.

“Place a foot on
the stretcher bar and drape the other over it.” I did as I was told and turned
to look at him just when he snapped the first picture. I threw my head back and
shut my eyes, rolling my head from side to side to stretch my neck and
listening to the camera shutter snap away. By now I’d gotten the hang of how to
go through a photo shoot with Brad. We were quickly becoming a great team,
naturally knowing what the other wanted.

“Hold on,” he said
before walking into the back room.

He came back a few
moments later holding lipstick. He ran his hand through my hair before gently
tipping my head upward. For a moment, just a brief one, the two of us were
staring into each other’s eyes. His forest green gaze was bright as ever
underneath the lights. It was one of the most intense seconds I had ever felt
with him.

I puckered my lips
as he uncapped the lipstick. Carefully, he pressed the tip to my lips, slowly
running it across so the color stained a fire-engine red. Finally, he pulled
the lipstick away from my mouth and leaned forward, stopping a mere millimeter
before our lips touched.

“Gorgeous,” he
whispered, his hot breath spreading enticingly across my skin.

He walked back to
grab his camera and took a few more photos, “Are you ready?”

I nodded slowly. I
figured I was as ready as I ever would be to do something so wild and out of
character. If anything was new and out of my comfort zone, it was this. Moving
to the big city and dating the photographer were just small steps compared to
this. My stomach was tumbling like mad, but I was determined to keep going now
that I had already started.

Brad pulled a
blindfold off a small hook on the side of the wall and placed it slowly over my
eyes, holding my hair so it wouldn’t get caught. I felt his hot breath at the
nape of my neck and I was sure he had leaned in to do it on purpose. A shiver
ran straight down my spine causing a full-body shudder. I swallowed hard. It
was easily the most erotic moment of my life. He tugged slightly on the straps
of the blindfold before giving me a peck on the cheek.

 
“Just stay still.”

 
I heard his footsteps followed by a few snaps
of the camera. More footsteps and then he was adjusting my body again, turning my
face to lean forward, hands on my hips. After he snapped a few more, he helped me
off the stool. As soon as he adjusted the seat he led me to stand behind.

My breath clutched
as he grabbed my hip and bent me over until my stomach was on the stool,
cleavage spilling sexily onto it and out of the leather bodysuit.

After taking a few
pictures in that pose, he walked back over to me. I stood up straight as he
pulled me close to him. I could feel my heart thundering against my chest. His palm
ran over my cheek and pulled my face close to his for a soft kiss. He ran his
hand from my hip up my side until it rested on the side of my chest. My mind
was racing a million miles an hour as every nerve in my body buzzed to life. He
pulled back from the kiss and rubbed his thumb over my lips, smearing the red
lipstick before snapping a few more photos of me close up.

 
“Are you ready for something else?”

I nodded, this
time a lot less hesitantly. As the shoot progressed, I realized how much I was truly
loving it. I couldn’t help but feel a little turned on by all of it, especially
after the steamy kiss Brad had just given me. Suddenly my world filled with
bright light as he pulled the blindfold off and dropped it on the floor. I gave
him a playful smile, eyes squinting from the light.