Shortie Like Mine (5 page)

Authors: Ni-Ni Simone

BOOK: Shortie Like Mine

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I was too scared to look in the backseat for fear that my sister was dead, but when I heard her sniffling, like she was suppressing the urge to wail, I knew she'd survived the beat-down.

When we got home, Cousin Shake was laying on the couch in a too-tight smoking jacket and long johns, pretending to be asleep, but it was obvious he wasn't, especially since he kept peeking at Toi with one eye half open while laughing out the side of his lips like a hissing snake.

My mother looked at Toi and spoke calmly, “I'm not gon' let you work my nerves anymore than what they areâyo' daddy is on 'em enough. But let me inform you of this: I brought you into this world and I will gladly take you out. If you ever let another man, excuse me, another boy stand up in my face and even attempt to
ever
get you to disrespect me, I'ma beat the living crap outta you. 'Cause from where I stand, you seem to have forgotten who gave birth to who. I'm the mother and father up in this piece and the only other grown one is Cousin Shake. You just sixteen, and in my house that doesn't make you an adult. And don't think you gon' break bad and storm outta here like you running away, 'cause that ain't an option either. You gon' stay here and get it together like you have some sense. Period. And no, we ain't discussing this. There's no reasoning you can do with me, and before you say it, I don't care to understand how you feel. We're not equals, so I'ma forewarn you not to break bad by getting up in my face! And the next time you yell at me, I'ma tear ya throat out! Now, you will leave that grown man alone, 'cause if I catch you with him, I'm calling the police on him and you can bet your bottom dollar on that!

“Now, what you gon' do is be in this house everyday after school. Don't ask me to go nowhere because the answer is no. Don't get on that phone, don't do nothing but go to school and come home. Do you understand me?!”

Silence.

“I said do you understand me?!”

More silence.

I think Toi's mind has left the building.

My mother walked up to her and stood directly in her face, my mother's head towering over Toi's just a little. “Do you understand me?!”

“Yes,” she mumbled as her chest heaved up and down.

“That's what I thought, now give me that cell phone and go to your room.” Toi handed her the phone and started walking away. “And don't slam no door you ain't pay for!” my mother yelled behind her.

I stood looking around the living room before I thought to move. “Uhmm, is it okay?”âI pointed to the doorwayâ“if ... if Iâ”

“Just go!” my mother screamed, “ 'cause you have worked my nerves, too!”

“Witcha grown self!” Cousin Shake yelled as I walked out the room.

I went in our bedroom and Toi was in her bed crying into her pillow. When I closed the door, she turned over and looked at the ceiling. “Why would she do that to me? Ever since Daddy left she's been a mad woman! I can't stand her!”

“You don't listen, Toi. I told you Mommy was gon' flip.”

“I didn't think she would show up at his house,” she sniffed. “And I can't believe you told her where he lived.”

“Believe it. You must not know about Grier McKnight. I was not about to die up in here protecting you.”

“Whatever, Seven.”

“Don't take it out on me. 'Cause quite frankly, you played yourself. You slept on Mommy and then you hangin' with Quamir. He knows how old you are. He knows you're still in high school and he doesn't even care.”

“Don't ever in your life talk about whether my man cares or not. You just mad because Josiah don't want yo' elephant behind!”

I cut the light back on because I had to see this for myself. “You have lost yo' rabbit-behind mind, talkin' to me crazy. Don't be mad with me because you can't be a jump-off in peace! I don't know who you think you talkin' to, but you gon' get up offa me, 'cause I know the real deal and I'll give you what Mommy didn't. Trust and believe you don't want it wit' me homegirl, for real-for real!”

“Whatever ... that's my dude and I'm
not
leaving him alone. You just mad because you don't have a man and Mommy is mad because hers left!”

“Girl, let's blow this popsicle stick, 'cause you sound 'bout as stupid as they come. 'Cause if you think Quamir is any better than Daddy, you better think again. At least Daddy still takes care of us. What Quamir gon' do when he gets you knocked up? The same thing he did with his two other baby mamas ... leave!”

“Whatever. I forgot you were a little girl.”

“Yeah, whatever. I forgot you were grown.” I flicked off the light and lay down to sleep.

You changed the game
I liked it thug style ...

âCIARA, “THUG STYLE”

W
e were on lockdown, Cousin Shake was the warden, and the only one allowed in the yard or the movie room was Man-Man.

Although Toi didn't flat out say sorry, she apologized by going to Mi-Mi's, coming back and hooking up my hair with a part down the middle and two fish braids on the side. And here I was again, fly to death. All week Shae was sweatin' me, and when I finally told her that Toi did my hair, before I knew it she was over my house this morning with two packs of hair and a comb.

“Don't hate, boo.” Shae smiled at me, while BeyoncÃ©'s “Kitty Kat” video played in the background and Toi was putting Ambro gel in Shae's hair. “I been waitin' all week. Plus, the game is tonight ... and I'm 'bout to be funky-fresh and fly to death, heyyy!!!!” Shae laughed.

“Y'all so silly,” Toi said as she gathered one side of Shae's hair to braid it. “But I gotta admit, y'all be throwin' it on. But of course, you're no Toi.”

“Whatever.” Me and Shae both laughed as the phone rang.

“Ballin'!” I answered on the first ring.

“Yo, Shawtie. What you know good, gurl?”

What the heck was ... Melvin doing on my phone? “No, for real.” I gave a sarcastic laugh. “How'd you get my phone number?” I placed my hand over the receiver and hit the mute button and said, “Yo' baby daddy on the phone.”

“Who, Chris Brown?” She turned her head.

“No.”

“Mike Jones?” Her eyes popped out.

“Mike Jones, ill! Heck no, it ain't Mike Jones.”

She turned around in her seat. “I know you ain't got Rick Ross on the line.”

“Rick Ross?” Toi frowned.

“Shut up.” Shae laughed. “I like Rick Ross.”

“I don't know what kinda taste you got.”

“Shae, it's Melvin,” I said as he went on and on in my ear.

Toi pulled her hair back and looked into her face. “I know you ain't feeling Big Country?”

All Shae could do was blush. “I think I love him.”

Toi fell out laughing. “You have the worst taste in the world.”

“Shut up.”

“What is he sayin'?” Shae whispered as Toi began to braid her hair.

I secretly hit the speaker phone and pressed the mute button as Melvin went on, “Yo, Shawtie, I'm sayin' though, when we gon' get this poppin'? 'Cause for real, you startin' to get on my nerves a lil' bit. Smell me?”

“On his nerves. Oh, no, he didn't?!” Toi cracked up.

“Is he tryna play me?”

“I think he already did ... oh, I'm in love.” Shae was grinning from ear to ear. “Now stop playing and do the hook-up.”

“And you sure Big Country is turning you on?” I asked for confirmation.

“I'm already calling myself Mrs. Big Country.”

Toi placed her hand to Shae's forehead to check for a fever. “You're sick.”

“Just do it.” Shae hit me on the arm.

“Ai'ight. Calm down, and get yo'self together.”

I took the mute button off. “Melvinâ”

“Please don't beg and don't come to school tryna scream on me and please don't turn into a stalker, 'cause that won't change my mind.”

“Ah un rudeness! No, you didn't.”

“We can be friends though. You good people and er'thang, but it's like I'ma big fish and you just a squirrel tryna get a nut.”

“What?”

“I'm tryin' not to hurt your feelings but I don't want a gurl who gon' be on the porch all her life.”

“The porch?! You the one from down south!”

“Ask him if he likes somebody else,” Shae whispered.

If Shae wasn't my girl, I promise you I woulda checked Melvin's chin fo' sho'. I took a deep breath. “So what you sayin', you feelin' somebody else?”

“Ain't that obvious, Shawtie? Y'all city chicks don't take hints. I hate to say it like this, but chicks are all over this.” I could just imagine him rubbing his big sweaty hands all over his body.
Somebody shoot me.

“What chicks?” I sighed.

“What you all sighing for?”

“Nothin' Melvin. Who likes you?”

“Ciara, Rihanna, Lil' Kim, Lil' Mama, and I got some ole birds, too.”

“Old Birds?”

“Yeah, Oprah. She and Gayle King be all on me. I tell you I'm puttin' Stedman Graham and Cory Booker to sleep. Smell me?”

“What ... are you ... talking about?”

“Oh, I forgot you ain't know about me.”

I hit the mute button and screamed, “Jesus!” I took the mute button off and spoke into the phone, “I mean, in school, Melvin!”

“Oh, well you know, ya lil' friend Ki-Ki kicked some slickness to me.”

Ki-Ki?
“What she say?” I asked.

“Asked me do I like pork chops and gravy.”

“Pork chops and gravy?”
Yuck!

“Yeah, she said she was gon' cook me some.”

“And what you say?”

“Shawtie, skinny chicks can't cook. I looked at her and asked her was she crazy? I don't trust no skinny girl, all them bones she has done stabbed me.”

I hated that I had to laugh. “And what she say?”

“She ain't say nothin', but Deeyah was standing there and she said I played myself.”

“Maybe Deeyah was trying to get with you?”

“Shawtie, please. I'm not lookin' to turn a special ed hoochie into S.S.I. housewife.”

“That was a good one, Melvin. So let's see, who else ...” I stalled.

“Wassup with ya gurl, Shae?” he blurted out, like he'd been holding this question in.

“Oh, you diggin' Shae?”

“Yeah, somethin' like that. Now don't get to cryin' on me, Shawtie. I know I probably just hurt your feelings, but Big Country keeps it real.”

I'm just gon' ignore that.
“So you know Shae is my best friend in the whole world.”

“Yeah, that's why I don't want you to start cryin', 'cause you just got played all the way to the left.”

“You really think you just played me to the left?”
He is really feeling himself.

“Girl, you so far on the left, you lost. But Big Country still got love for ya, girl. We just ain't meant to be. Smell me?”

I couldn't help it. I started laughing so loud I didn't know what to do with myself. “Yo, Shawtie, don't cry. It's cool.”

That made me laugh even more. Shae and Toi were laughing so hard tears were pouring from their eyes.

“Shawtie,” Melvin said, “what you rollin' all on the floor, Shawtie? Awl, Shawtie, don't get nothin' on yourself ... Get off the floor, Shawtie. You gon' mess up ya hair. It's gon' be alright, we can still be friends. Awl, Big Country done broke ya heart.”

I wiped the tears that came to my eyes from laughing so hard. “Okay”âI sniffedâ“Big Country, it's cool. It's cool. So when you gon' kick it to Shae?”

“Tonight at the game. I'm 'bout to throw it on extra hard wit' Cornbread. I'm gon' come on so sweet, she might pee on herself. See, I was a lil' shy with you.”

“Shy?”

“Yeah, I gotta lil' Michael Jackson syndrome, and I held back some, but when I saw Shae at lunch, eatin' that burger wit' gravy on it, and she sopped up the lil' gravy soup with the corner of the bread, I was like âThere she is, Big Country's soul mate.' Plus, she real fly, smell me?”

“Melvin, Shae likes guys a lil' calmer. Just step to her and put the Mac Daddy vibe down like âGirl, you look so good you make me wanna sing yo' name in the rainâ' ”

“Shawtie, have you gon' crazy? No wonder you don't have a man.”

“You dis'n me, Melvin?”

“Naw, just keepin' it real.”

“So, you want Shae's number?”

“Yeah, hit Big Country wit' them digits.”

“You got a pen?”

“I don't need a pen, I'm puttin' 'em in my cell phone.”

So I gave him Shea's number.

“Cool,” he said.

And before I could say bye, he'd hung up and Shae's cell phone was ringing.

“It's him.” She hit me on the arm.

“Dang, he couldn't wait to dump me.”

Shae's phone kept ringing. “You gon' answer the phone?” I asked.

“Nope, I'ma let it go to voice mail and then I'ma call back in about an hour. Make him sweat me a lil' bit.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's rightâmake 'im wait.”

For about a half hour more, Toi put the finishing touches on Shae's hair and then we decided to go sit in the bedroom. I changed out of my pajamas and slipped on some jeans, a chocolate and powder pink hoodie with the Rocawear symbol all over it, and a pair of Chocolate Moose Pastrys.

“I need to see my man,” Toi moaned. “God, I hate this.” She pulled the curtain back and looked at the iron black bars Mommy put on our bedroom window.

“Well, you know Mommy's working double shift today at the phone company, and then she's on nights at New Jersey Transit, so she won't be home until real late.”

“Yeah, but Cousin Shake be all extra wit' it. If I even look like I'm leaving the house, the first thing out his mouth is, âDidn't yo' mother shut you down?'”

“So what you gon' do?” I asked.

She twisted her lips and looked at the wall as if she were deep in thought. “I got it.”

“What?” Me and Shae said simultaneously.

“Look.” She rummaged through my side of the closet and pulled out my Burger King uniform. “Let me get this.”

“My uniform?”

“Yes, Seven, please. You gotta let me get this.”

“Why? What, they rockin' B.K. uniforms now?” I was looking at her like she was crazy. “Why you wanna wear my uniform? That thing ain't cute.”

“No.” Her face was lit up like Christmas. “I'ma tell Cousin Shake I got a job and I start today. This way I can spend a few hours with my boo and be back home before Mommy gets here.”

“And what if Mommy asks you about this job?”

“I'll just tell her I quit, that fast food wasn't my thing.”

“She'll never believe that.”

“Yes, she will. You gon' let me wear it or not?”

“Go 'head, but if you get caught, don't put my name in it.”

“I'm not the snitch in the family.” She rolled her eyes at me.

“Whatever,” I said as me and Shae watched her get dressed.

Once Toi was done hooking herself up like she really had a job, I opened the door and Cousin Shake and Man-Man practically tripped over each other as the drinking glasses they had in their hands rolled across our bedroom floor. “You were listening at my door?”

“You opened that door,” Cousin Shake said, “like you was 'bout to do something.”

“I can't believe you were listening to my conversation.”

“We weren't listening to your conversation,” Cousin Shake insisted. “Man-Man said he heard something about Toi having a job, so I figured I needed to check this out, especially since Grier done kidnapped y'all lil' love life. Over there on Nye doing naked cartwheels in the middle of the street, actin' like you come from a pack of wild dogs. If I was ya mama, you wouldn't never come off punishment.”

“Smell me?” Man-Man smirked.

“Nerd.” I growled at Man-Man.

“ 'Least I ain't a dog, booty scratcher.”

I wanted to smack him.
“Whatever. I'm going outside,” I said, slapping Man-Man in the back of his head.

“And I'm going to work.”

“You go on to work then, baby,” Cousin Shake said, extremely nice. “Who woulda ever thought that lil' Kim would come outta jail and get a job?”