Show Me How (It's Kind Of Personal Book 2) (13 page)

Mary

About four months have gone by with Brandon back in my life. I’d like to say it’s been easy but reconnecting with the only man I’ve loved after twelve years is anything but. He’s stayed over about half the time but has been pretty busy with work, so when he does come over, it’s usually late. When he’s here we jog together in the morning before he has to leave, and I go about my days as normal. Cleaning, laundry, and more cleaning. I’m not sure I even want more than that . . . I don’t know if I could handle it.

Elizabeth has stopped by a couple of times with lunch, and I’ve really enjoyed talking to her again. She doesn’t bring up the past, and I’m so appreciative of that.

Brandon, on the other hand, is driving me crazy. Bringing me Chinese all the time to fatten me up because I’m too skinny. That’s really not an inconvenience; I love me some Chinese food. We haven’t had sex yet; he always stops before it goes too far. Says he wants our first time to be in his bed and not a motel room. And since I’m freaking out about sleeping somewhere other than the only place I’ve known for the past twelve years, it hasn’t happened yet. It’s stupid, I know. He’s not pushy per se, but his constant insistence that I quit my job and move in with him is driving me nuts. I did compromise and quit my Sunday jobs because I have some money saved and so we could spend time together since he works so much during the week and on Saturdays. For everything else, I tell him I'm not ready… I tell him I’m not ready, that I need more time, but the reality is . . . I’m scared.

This motel is all I know. Cleaning the rooms of strangers is my life. I’ve gotten so good at staying invisible that I can’t figure out how to move on from that. Anything I’ve done outside of Pay-By-Day has been discreet. Going shopping at odd hours, using a fake name to get my birth control pills through the local free clinic, driving a car registered to someone else—all of that has made me almost agoraphobic. Sure, I leave my room sometimes, but it’s planned. Everything I do has a purpose. The fear of someone I used to know or Scott Smith seeing me has left me paranoid. Even though he’s in jail. Brandon insists I’m safe, that nobody is looking for me for any kind of revenge. But I can’t escape the clenching in my gut at the thoughts of leaving this place.

I haven’t been a total recluse, though. Brandon has taken me out for dinner a couple of times, and I went with Char and her cousin, Meara, to get our nails done for Charlotte’s wedding. The best part of the reception was that Meara’s boyfriend, Liam, is in a band, and they played at the wedding. It was so much fun to listen to live music.

I’ve made a friend in Charlotte. My only stipulation to her is that we don’t talk about my past. She has been wonderful and not pushed. She understands not wanting the past to rule your life. It’s nice to have someone closer to my age to talk to. I went to her and Travis’ engagement party and wedding with Brandon. I was scared shitless, constantly looking around for something or someone, but Brandon’s presence managed to calm me enough that I had a great time.

Steve and Elizabeth treat me just like they used to, like I’m part of the family, and it warms my heart to know they truly don’t hold any grudges.

It’s late Friday night and, not surprisingly, I’m in the laundry room folding towels. I wipe the sweat from my forehead and make a beeline for my room as soon as I’m done.

“Mary!” Betty calls.

My shoulders slump and I slowly turn to acknowledge her at the front desk. I’m so tired. Physically, my routine hasn’t changed, but mentally, all the shit I’ve been dealing with is taking a toll on me. I don’t sleep well unless Brandon is with me, and when he’s not, I toss and turn all night kicking myself in the ass that I’m too much of a baby to move in with him.

The way I feel when we’re together is like I did in high school. Safe, happy, loved. I’m the one holding us back. And I hate myself for it.

“What’s up?”

“I need you to take some towels to room twenty-four.”

My face crunches when I run over my mental list of occupied rooms. “There isn’t anyone in twenty-four.”

“There wasn’t. They checked in when you were doing laundry.”

“Aren’t there enough damn towels in there?”

“Apparently not.”

“Fine.”

I go back to the laundry room to grab some towels and stomp all the way to the room.

My hands are full, so I yell, “Room service. I have your towels.” I’m not really room service but what else am I supposed to say?

The door swings open and Brandon stands before me dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt. His hair freshly clipped and scruffy face trimmed.

I freeze. “What are you doing?”

He motions inside, and when I take in what he’s done, the towels fall from my hands. Candlelight glows in the room and rose petals cover the bed. A sweet smell of Chinese food wafts through the air, and the small table is dressed with a tablecloth and plates of food.

“What?” I ask, too stunned to say more.

The slight smirk on his face is fucking adorable, and he motions with his head for me to enter. My feet skid along the carpet and he puts a hand on my lower back to give me a push inside.

“I hope you’re hungry. I made a lot.”

“Umm, yeah. What’s going on?” He pulls out my chair for me and places a napkin on my lap and a kiss on my forehead then sits across from me. His body is far too large to be cramped in the small chair.

“Nothing’s going on; I just wanted to do something nice for you. And since you’ve been a little nervous about going out at night, I figure this is the next best thing. Besides, it’s my grandma’s homemade chop suey recipe. I know how much you like it.”

“I do like it.” I like it so much; it’s by far my favorite recipe of all time.

“Here.” He fills my plate, and I don’t hesitate before I dig in.

When the flavors hit my tongue, I groan in appreciation. “This is good. You made it?”

“Yeah. I did.”

“Brandon, this is so sweet. Thank you.”

His answering smile fills my heart and breaks it at the same time. We eat in companionable silence and I open my mouth to thank him again when something soft and furry jumps into my lap.

“Oh, my God. What the hell?”

“Kat. Get down.” Brandon laughs and leans over to pick up the cat and set it on the floor. It jumps back up on my lap and I wave him off when he tries to grab it again.

“Is this yours?”

“She is.” He nods. “I found her the day after I moved in.”

“She’s adorable.” I scratch under her chin and she purrs in my lap. Her fluffy white hair is so soft. “What kind of cat is she?”

“Kelsey said she’s a ragdoll.”

My head snaps up involuntarily before I look down at the cat curled in a little ball on my lap. “That’s your neighbor?”

“Yes. My
neighbor.
”

“Oh.”

“Mary, look at me.”

I really hate sometimes that he sees through me. My insecurities, my doubts. It’s more than jealousy. It’s an insurmountable fear he’ll realize that he wasted all this time looking for me, and now that he’s found me, the thrill of the chase is gone . . . and he will be, too.

This time my head raises slow, and he leans closer to me. “You don’t have anything to worry about. You never did. Nobody could ever compare to you. Nobody ever has.”

“I’m not—”

“It’s always been you. Always. Even when I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again, you were the only woman who consumed every fiber of my being. The only one I ever loved. And the single person who has the ability to tear me apart. But you’re also the reason I’m finally doing more than just existing. So get it out of your head that you have competition ‘cause, babe, you’re incomparable.”

I press my lips together and nod. “Okay.”

“Good?”

Taking a deep breath through my nose, I then nod. “Yeah. Good.”

“Excellent.”

He continues eating, and I pick at the rest of my food because I’m stuffed.

“Is her name really Cat?”

“Yes. I couldn’t think of anything else. But I did spell it with a “K,” so there is that.”

We finish dinner talking about mundane things, and I help him clean everything up. He picks up the fluff ball and puts her in the bathroom then turns back to me with a glint of pure lust in his eyes. Without taking those baby blues off me, he removes his boots and sits on the bed.

“Come here.”

I walk over and sit next to him, thigh tingling from the contact. He turns and pushes my shoulders so I’m on my back and crawls over the top of me. His fingers tangle in my hair for a minute, and he gently pulls out my elastic band and tosses it on the floor. The moment his lips touch mine, a fire warms my belly, and I grab his shoulders to pull him down. I love his strong body pressing into mine. Our grooves aligning effortlessly.

His lips leave mine, and he kisses down my jaw and across my neck. I arch into him and reach down to remove his shirt. Only pulling away long enough to remove it, he returns to my neck and pulls my shirt down to nip at my collarbone.

The pads of his fingers trace every inch of my breasts outside my shirt, and my nipples beg for more attention, more contact, more Brandon.

I sit up to take it off, but he stops me and does it himself. My bra follows, and both of his hands palm my breasts and push them together while his lips and tongue do wicked things that make me squirm and make the fire in my belly swirl. My hips helplessly move to find friction and he stands up to remove the rest of his clothes.

“Do you want this?”

I stare at his hard length, sticking straight out and pointing at me.

He grips it with a strong hand. “I know you want this.” He strokes up and down a few times. “But I mean this,” he motions to his whole body. “Me. All of it. Are you ready for this? Because if you’re not—”

“No!” I shake my head. “I mean yes. I’m ready. I want you. All of you.”

“You sure?”

I bob my head enthusiastically and hair flies in my face. He kneels over the top of me and brushes it away, resting his forehead on mine. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes,” I whisper.

The rest of my clothes are removed, and he crawls back over me and puts his weight on his elbows. I widen my legs and suck in a breath when the tip of his dick rubs against my clit.

“
Fuck me,
” he whispers. “You’re so damn wet already.” He starts to slide down, but I clamp my knees together.

“No. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

“I’ve gotta get you ready to take me.”

I lift up as much as I can and slide myself along him, showing him just how ready I am. The sleekness of his sensitive skin makes me even wetter, and I glide against him with little effort.

“So good,” he sighs against my lips.

Small beads of sweat form on his forehead and I slam my mouth to his, showing him again how bad I want this, how ready I am.

He kisses me back with the same fury and pulls back panting. I prop myself up on my elbows as he sits up and aligns himself with my opening. He waits until I look at him before pushing in an inch.

Our eyes stay connected, his a force of nature the way the blue darkens. I look between my legs and am entranced by the sight. He pulls out and pushes back in a little farther, and I fall back in pure ecstasy. He’s not even in a quarter of the way in, and I’m already about to come.

“Brandon, please just fuck me.”

I try to raise my hips, but he pushes them back down. I almost cry out of disappointment when he pulls out and lays on top of me.

“I’m not fucking you today.”

My heart drops and tears brim the back of my eyes, confused. Did it not feel good so far? Is he changing his mind?

“I’m making love to you tonight. There will be lots of fucking later. But right now, I’m making love to you, all right?”

God, I love him. “All right.” I kiss his jaw softly, relief lightening my whole body.

He reaches between us and guides himself, then frames my face, and in one thrust, fills me.

Animalistic groans leave both our mouths, and he places his forehead back on mine and keeps good on his word. He makes love to me. Eyes on mine the whole time, he slowly shows me how much he cares. In and out at a ridiculously delicious, slow pace. My legs fall open, and I just feel.

Every single inch of me is floating right now. I’m not even sure my body can handle what’s about to happen. My belly tightens and black spots start to form behind my eyes.

“Brandon,” I whisper, honestly afraid because I’ve never felt like this before. This intense, this all-consuming euphoria, this loved. It’s beautiful.

“I know. It’s okay, baby. Let it happen. I’ve got you.”

I look into his eyes again and throw my head back when he slams into me harder, faster.

He grunts and presses his face into my neck, biting me, as we come undone together. Millions of tiny fireworks explode inside me, from my toes all the way to my teeth. He stays fully seated inside me and collapses. I wrap my arms around him as tight as I can and hold on.

Several minutes pass as we stay in the same position. He finally sits up a little bit and pushes the hair off my face with a finger. “You okay?”

“I don’t know. What was that? I’ve never. I mean, I think I blacked out there for a minute.”

“I know. It was perfect. You’re perfect.”

“That wasn’t me.”

“No. It was us.”

Chapter 13

Brandon

I knew it would be fucking mind blowing. When I told Mary I’ve thought about having sex with her since I first knew what it was, I wasn’t lying. I’ve thought about her legs wrapped around me, dreamed of how tight she would be, fantasized about her calling my name and woken up a sticky mess because even in my dreams, she didn’t escape me.

And now, I lay on top of her, unmoving, because I think she broke me. I’m officially fucked. There was no way I was letting her get away again to begin with, but after that, I want to slap my cuffs around our wrists and keep her attached to me.

“What happened to waiting until I moved in with you?”

Even though my head is on her shoulder, I can hear the smile in her voice.

“I couldn’t wait anymore. And I brought my own comforter so it’s kind of the same thing.”