Shut Up and Give Me the Mic (58 page)

While Zappa and I waited, we shook our heads in disgust at Senator Paula Hawkins’s inane speech. Holding a blowup of Def Leppard’s
Pyromania
album cover, she shouted, “The message is clear: burn, baby, burn!” Burn what? The woman was clearly cracked and, I’m happy to say, not reelected to another term after her embarrassing rant.

There was a moment of elation when Senator Exon of Nebraska, during his remarks to Tipper Gore, said, “If we are not talking about federal regulation and we are not talking about federal legislation, what is the reason for these hearings in front of the Commerce Committee? Can anyone answer that?”

An actual cheer erupted from the gallery in the hearing room.

Of course, the next time Exon spoke—after being frantically bombarded by aides, explaining the political ramifications of his statement, I’m sure—he made a 180 and applauded the PMRC’s efforts, indicating he would seek a way, if possible, to do away with the “outrageous filth” of “music interspersed with pornography.” Way to stand up for your beliefs, Senator.

When it came time for Zappa to testify, he asked my father to watch his kids, Dweezil and Moon Unit, who were there with him, while he spoke. My father was honored. To this day he tells the story of the time “Frank Zipper had me watch Moon Weasel and Unit.”

Frank was a brilliant man and tore those Washington morons a new one, but when he did mocking-voice characterizations of our opponents, he opened us up for criticism. Don’t get me wrong, they deserved everything they got, but in an argument, the minute you start making fun of anything about your opponents, besides their position, you open yourself to rebuke. And that’s just what happened.

Senator Gorton, of Washington State, pounced when it was his turn to speak: “I can only say that I found your statement to be boorish, incredibly and insensitively insulting to the people that were here previously; that you could manage to give the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States a bad name, if I felt that you had the slightest understanding of it, which I do not.”

Yikes! The press had a field day with that explosive statement, and some used video of
me
in connection with it because I was weirder looking than Frank. You can’t give your enemies ammo like that to use against you. At least make them work for it.

When John Denver was called, you would not believe the fawning and ass-kissing that went on. The senators loved him! Frank and I watched on a television monitor, disgusted and nervous, waiting to hear what John would say . . .
and then JD let ’em have it!

“May I be very clear that I am strongly opposed to censorship of any kind in our society or anywhere else in the world.”

POW!

“Mr. Chairman, the suppression of the people of a society begins in my mind with the censorship of the written or spoken word. It was so in Nazi Germany.”

BAM!
You should have seen them scatter when John hit ’em with that.

During the cross-examination part of both Zappa’s and Denver’s testimonies, Al Gore made an absolute ass of himself, starting his questions to Frank with “I have been a fan of your music, believe it or not. I respect you as a true original and a tremendously talented musician.”
Oh, please!
To John Denver, Gore had to say, “It is an honor to be able to ask some questions. I have been a fan for a long time, Mr. Denver.”
Oh, brother!
What a sycophant!

It finally came time for me to speak, and I was formally introduced to the room: “Next we have Mr. Dee Snider . . . the Twisted Sister.”

What the hell kind of intro was that!?

The doors to the room opened and I strode in, snakeskin, high-heeled boots clacking on the floor as I walked. The entire dais stared at me in shock, as the press armada went nuts filming and taking pictures. With every other person in the room dressed in suits and dresses for this important event—even Zappa and Denver had suits and ties on—my less-than-formal garb was a bit upsetting to the “straights.”
My front teeth were filed to points, for Christ’s sake!
Hey, they wanted a headbanger for their hearings . . . they got one.

I rolled up to the table, took off my “colors,” exposing a T-shirt with my own screaming face full of makeup on it, pulled my speech out of my back pocket, sat down, and flattened it out on the table.
Joe Gerber was already sitting at the table (yes, that is the now legendary Joe Gerber on my right, in all the video footage you see from my testimony at the hearing), where he should have been, considering how hard he worked for the hearing and on the speech I was about to give. He was my right hand.

At that moment, just before I began to speak, the magnitude of what I was doing hit me. This was Washington, DC! These were important people. The world was watching!
What the fuck was I doing here!?

As I started to read, my hand holding the paper began to subtly shake. I was nervous. I quickly reeled it in, and by the second paragraph or so, I had my swagger back.
I was Dee fucking Snider, dammit! That’s what I was doing there!

I do not know if it is morning or afternoon. I will say both. Good morning and good afternoon. My name is Dee Snider. That is S-N-I-D-E-R. I have been asked to come here to present my views on “the subject of the content of certain sound recordings and suggestions that recording packages be labeled to provide a warning to prospective purchasers of sexually explicit or other potentially offensive content.”

Before I get into that, I would like to tell the committee a little bit about myself. I am thirty years old. I am married. I have a three-year-old son. I was born and raised a Christian and I still adhere to those principles. Believe it or not, I do not smoke, I do not drink, and I do not do drugs. I do play in and write the songs for a rock ’n’ roll band named Twisted Sister that is classified as heavy metal, and I pride myself on writing songs that are consistent with my above-mentioned beliefs. Since I seem to be the only person addressing this committee today who has been a direct target of accusations from the presumably responsible PMRC, I would like to use this occasion to speak on a more personal note and show just how unfair the whole concept of lyrical interpretation and judgment can be and how many times this can amount to little
more than character assassination. I have taken the liberty of distributing to you material and lyrics pertaining to these accusations. There were three attacks in particular which I would like to address.

ACCUSATION NO. 1

This attack was contained in an article written by Tipper Gore, which was given the forum of a full page in my hometown newspaper on Long Island. In this article Ms. Gore claimed that one of my songs, “Under the Blade,” had lyrics encouraging sadomasochism, bondage, and rape. The lyrics she quoted have absolutely nothing to do with these topics. On the contrary, the words in question are about surgery and the fear that it instills in people. Furthermore, the reader of this article is led to believe that the three lines she quotes go together in the song when, as you can see, from reading the lyrics, the first two lines she cites are an edited phrase from the second verse and the third line is a misquote of a line from the chorus. That the writer could misquote me is curious, since we make it a point to print all our lyrics on the inner sleeve of every album. As the creator of “Under the Blade,” I can say categorically that the . . . only sadomasochism, bondage, and rape in this song is in the mind of Ms. Gore.

ACCUSATION NO. 2

The PMRC has made public a list of fifteen of what they feel are some of the most blatant songs lyrically. On this list is our song “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” upon which has been bestowed a V rating, indicating violent lyrical content. You will note from the lyrics before you that there is absolutely no violence of any type either sung about or implied anywhere in the song. Now, it strikes me that the PMRC may have confused our video presentation for this song with the meaning of the lyrics. It is no secret that the videos often depict story lines completely unrelated to the lyrics of the song they accompany. The video
We’re Not Gonna Take It
was simply meant to be a cartoon with human actors playing variations on the Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote theme; each stunt was
selected from my extensive personal collection of cartoons. You will note when you watch the entire video that after each catastrophe our villain suffers through, in the next sequence he reappears unharmed by any previous attack, no worse for the wear.

By the way, I am very pleased to note that the United Way of America has been granted a request to use portions of our
We’re Not Gonna Take It
video in a program they are producing on the subject of the changing American family. They asked for it because of its “light-hearted way of talking about communicating with teenagers.”

ACCUSATION NO. 3

Last Tuesday a public forum regarding the lyric controversy was held in New York. Among the panelists was Ms. Gore. Trying to stem the virtual tidal wave of anti-ratings sentiment coming from the audience, Ms. Gore made the following statement: “I agree this is a small percentage of all music, thank goodness. But it is becoming more mainstream. You look at even the T-shirts that kids wear and you see Twisted Sister and a woman in handcuffs sort of spread-eagled.” This is an outright lie. Not only have we never sold a shirt of this type, we have always taken great pains to steer clear of sexism in our merchandise, records, stage show, and personal lives. Furthermore, we have always promoted the belief that rock ’n’ roll should not be sexist, but should cater to males and females equally. I feel that an accusation of this type is irresponsible, damaging to our reputation, and slanderous. I defy Ms. Gore to produce such a shirt to back up her claim. I am tired of running into kids on the street who tell me that they cannot play our records anymore because of the misinformation their parents are being fed by the PMRC on TV and in the newspapers.

These are the only three accusations I have come across. All three are totally unfounded. Who knows what other false and irresponsible things may have been said about my band or me. There happens to be one area where I am in complete agreement with the PMRC, as well as the National PTA and
probably most of the parents on this committee. That is, it is my job as a parent to monitor what my children see, hear, and read during their preteen years. The full responsibility for this falls on the shoulders of my wife and I, because there is no one else capable of making these judgments for us. Parents can thank the PMRC for reminding them that there is no substitute for parental guidance. But that is where the PMRC’s job ends.

The beauty of literature, poetry, and music is that they leave room for the audience to put its own imagination, experiences, and dreams into the words. The examples I cited earlier showed clear evidence of Twisted Sister’s music being completely misinterpreted and unfairly judged by supposedly well-informed adults. We cannot allow this to continue. There is no authority that has the right or the necessary insight to make these judgments, not myself, not the federal government, not some recording industry committee, not the PTA, not the RIAA, and certainly not the PMRC. I would like to thank the committee for this time, and I hope my testimony will aid you in clearing up this issue.

My speech stunned everyone. Could what I was saying possibly be true? “We’re Not Gonna Take It” wasn’t about violence? “Under the Blade” wasn’t about sadomasochism and bondage? No drugs? No alcohol? Married with a son? A Christian?
Who the hell was this freak?!

The questions from the senators followed, and thanks to all my prep work with Joe, I handled them with aplomb. My favorite—and most telling—moment was when the chairman of the committee, Senator Danforth, said to me after my speech, “Mr. Snider, let us suppose that there is music which, say, glorifies incest;
not yours
. . .”

Victory!

Then, the moment I had waited for came. It was Senator Gore’s turn at bat.

Before he could utter a word I fired a shot across his bow: “Excuse me. Are you going to tell me you are a big fan of my music as well?”

The entire gallery and
all
the senators laughed at my dig at the ass-kisser.

Gore was furious.
“No, I am not a fan of your music.” Without wasting a moment, Al went in for the kill. “Mr. Snider, what is the name of your fan club?”

Joe and I had rehearsed this one to death. “The fan club is called the SMF Friends of Twisted Sister.”

Senator Gore was so excited.
He had me now.
“And what does
SMF
stand for when it is spelled out?”