Shut Up and Model for Me (16 page)

But it’s too late. Rage controls me now.

I’m not even conscious of how fast I’m moving, how hard I yank him back. When he spins around, I ram my fist into his nose, and he falls backward.

Some students gasp behind me, and then everyone falls silent, until Brad screams, “You motherfucker!” He clutches his face, blood pouring between his fingers.

I hope I broke it.

Evan gapes at me with a look of terror. And then she turns and runs, punching open the doors and escaping.

“Dammit,” I mutter, chasing after her.

The sidewalks are already slick with rain, making it difficult to follow her. I reach her car right when she slams her door shut and hits all the locks. I skid to a halt at her passenger side and bang on her window. She starts the car and rolls the window down.

She’s crying.

“How could you?” she sobs. “How could you do that to me? I warned you. You
knew
hitting him would only make things worse. All those people… they saw
everything
.”

I shake my head. “I couldn’t let him talk to you like that. I couldn’t bear to listen to him.”

“Oh like you give a fuck, Dallas.” Tears stream down her face, breaking me. “You don’t give a shit about me.”

Every one of her words slices through my chest. “Why would you say that?”

“You left. You left after kissing me, after touching me. After spending the night at my fucking mother’s house, you left like it was
nothing
.”

“That wasn’t what it was like!”

“Then
what
was it like?”

“I couldn’t be a model for EPE. I couldn’t shoot anymore.”

“Why?”

“I had to get away from you!”

“WHY?”

“Because I’m in love with you, Evan!”

Oh, shit.

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Her mouth snaps shut, her eyes growing wide. Confused. And I stand here, hunched over by her window and getting pummeled by rain.

Slowly she shakes her head, another tear streaking her face. “I have to go, Dallas.”

“Evan, wait…”

She rolls up her window, and I back away as she pulls out of the parking spot.

I wait until I can no longer see her car before trudging to the other side of campus. To my car. There’s no way I can go back up to my office now.

I have to go home.

Chapter Fifteen

Evan

I lie on my bed as Britain brushes through my hair with her fingers. Rain spatters against my window. It’s so appropriate for this moment that I feel like it makes my entire life a fucking cliché.

“The slut never gets the boy.”

Britain scoffs. “You? A slut? Give me a break. And besides, that means Dallas is of equal sluttage, if not more-so because of Tricia. The two of you are a match made in heaven.”

“But he left,” I say.

“Because he was having feelings for you!”

I roll to my back. “That just means he chose her over me.” I shake my head and rub my forehead with my fingers. Crying has made my face all tight. “It’s better this way,” I say. “I’ll be in Cambridge come fall anyway. Long distance wouldn’t work…”

“You love him, don’t you?”

I stare at the ceiling, at anywhere but her face, blinking as tears pool in my eyes yet again.

“I knew it,” she says. “I knew it from your very first shoot that you were into him. Granted, you didn’t love him then, but there was totally something there.”

“Lust, Brit. I had to pose naked with him.”

“It was more than that.”

I shut my eyes, rubbing my temples. “Fuck.”

“You should sleep it off. You’ll feel better in the morning.” She kisses my forehead.

“Promise?”

“No, but we can do shots and maybe that’ll help you feel better now.”

“Ugh. No, thanks.”

“Love you, kid.”

“I love you too, Brit.”

Dallas

Why did you make me get those hairsprays for you the day of my last shoot? Don’t lie.

New Message From Britain: You know why.

I need to hear it from you.

New Message From Britain: I was hoping you’d see Adam.

Why?

New Message From Britain: So you’d finally grow a pair of balls and tell Evan that you loved her.

The front door opens. Tricia shakes her umbrella off and walks inside. “Good God, it is a mess out there!”

I watch from the couch as she hangs up her coat and sets her purse and umbrella by the door. She unzips both of her boots and steps out of them, walking to the kitchen counter and picking up the mail. She flips through bills.

“Tricia.”

She glances at me, and when she sees my face, her eyebrows furrow with sudden concern.

“We need to talk.”

Chapter Sixteen

Evan

I awaken to a lightning crash. Rubbing my eyes, I pick up my phone and glance at the screen.

It’s 3:28am

I have eight new text messages.

And thirteen missed calls.

10:38pm New Message From Dallas: Don’t freak… I’m coming over.

10:52pm New Message From Dallas: Why aren’t you picking up your phone?

11:14pm New Message From Dallas: My car totally broke down two miles from your house. I just ran here in the rain. And now no one’s answering the door. FML.

11:48pm New Message From Dallas: It’s really cold out here… haha…

12:07am New Message From Dallas: So if I die from hypothermia, I want to make sure you know it’s your fault.

12:08am New Message From Dallas: And I love you. I want to make sure you know that too.

1:01am New Message From Dallas: I totally get it by the way if you’re up and reading these and just want to torture me. Probs deserve it but kind of wishing you’d be backhanded by mercy right about… now.

1:56am New Message From Dallas: Can’t feel my toes lulz.

“Shit!” I hiss, jumping out of bed and proceeding to fall directly onto my face. My foot fell asleep. Of all the nights for my motherfucking foot to fall asleep.

I stand up and hobble down the hall and to the stairs, limping slowly down every step until I gain enough feeling to burst into a gimpy run. I skid across the living room floor and fling open the door.

Lightning floods the sky, around Dallas’s bulky silhouette that leans against the doorframe.

“H-hi,” he says between chattering teeth.

“Holy
shit
, Dallas!” I cry, pulling him inside and shutting the door. “Oh my God.” I shake my hands in front of my face. “Oh my God, we have to get you out of those clothes. Are you okay? Can you make it up stairs?”

“M-maybe.”

I grab his hand. His skin is ice-cold. I lead him up the stairs as delicately as possible and to the bathroom, where I fling on the vent and start the shower.

“Evan, I’m f-fine.”

“I have to get you out of these clothes. Why the hell are you here, Dallas? Lift up your arms.”

He complies, and I help get him out of his wet t-shirt.

“I h-had nowhere else t-to go.”

“I don’t know what that means.” But as the room fills with steam, it dawns on me. I cover my mouth.

Finally, his body relaxes, and he stops shaking. “I was with Tricia because I’ve always been with Tricia. Because she’s safe.” He shakes his head. “But I can’t live with being safe knowing you’re out there. Even if you don’t want me. And I’m sorry it took me so fucking long to realize this.”

After I come to terms with the fact that he’s really telling me what I think he’s telling me, I let my hands fall on his belt buckle, working at the slick cord with my fingers. I finally get through, unbuttoning and zipping down his fly.

“Say something,” he begs.

I look up at his pained face. “I’m trying to get you naked. Isn’t that saying enough?”

He shakes his head.

“I love you Dallas. I’ve loved you for longer than I’m comfortable admitting. And I think you know that.”

His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. He turns from me and pulls back the shower curtain, shutting off the water.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m fine now.” He closes the distance between us. “And I want the first time I take you to be in your bed. Not the bathroom.”

My heart races. I press my palms against his hard chest, looking into his eyes. The corner of his lips perk up in a smirk. “Now go to your room. Sit on your bed, facing the window.” He shakes his head slowly. Dangerously. “Don’t turn around for anything.”

I grin and slink out of the bathroom, hurrying to my bedroom and jumping on the bed. I kneel in the center, waiting and waiting until the door creaks open and his footsteps sound across the floor.

“Take off your shirt,” he orders.

I don’t waste a second’s hesitation, grabbing the hem of my tank top and lifting it over my head. The mattress moves as he climbs onto it, his chest brushing against my bare back. A shiver races through me.

Wrapping his arms around me, he takes my tank top out of my hands and folds it long ways, lifting it to my face. He uses it as a blindfold, tying it around my head.

“Dallas….”

“Trust me. Lie back.”

I listen to him, resting my head on a pillow. His thighs brush mine as he straddles me. He’s naked.

“Promise me you want this,” his voice rumbles from somewhere in the dark.

“I love you, Dallas,” I breathe. “I want
you
.”

His mouth crushes mine, stifling my moan. I open my mouth for him, his tongue slipping past my lips and finding my own as his hands wander my chest, cupping my breasts.

“No more teasing,” I beg when he releases me for air. “I’ve had to endure months of your teasing. I fucking need you now.”

He chuckles into my ear. “As you wish.” His hands find my shorts, tugging them off. When I’m completely naked, he kisses his way to my navel, gripping my thighs so I remain spread for him.

“I’ve wanted to taste you since the office shoot. I imagined plunging my tongue into your perfect pussy.” He groans. “I can’t believe this is finally happening.”

I squirm beneath him. “
Please
, Dallas!”

I can feel his breath on me. He blows a trail down my slit and whispers, “God, Evan. So fucking wet.”

I moan as the tip of his tongue traces my lips and around my clit.

“I hate you so much right now,” I mutter.

“You love me.” His tongue flicks against the tip of my clit. I moan his name, my toes curling.

Suddenly, his tongue plunges into me, and I almost scream. He drags his mouth back up to my clit and sucks it into his mouth, pushing two of his fingers deep into my pussy. I cry out as he works me, the pressure building and building, and I finally lose it when he curls his fingers upward and scrapes his teeth against my clit. I clutch his hair through my release, falling limp as the wave washes over me.

He crawls up to me when I’m finished and removes my blindfold, kissing me deeply so I can taste myself on him. “You’re the most delicious thing I’ve ever licked.”

“You’re not done with me, are you?” I breathe.

“You’re kidding me, right?” He strokes himself, picking up a condom from the sheets that he must have brought with him from the bathroom. “I’ve been waiting too long to have you.”

“Hurry,” I moan. “I can’t wait another second.”

He rolls the condom on and leans in to kiss me, slow and needy and wonderful. His lips move to my neck. “I love you, Evan,” he whispers against my neck. Slowly, he pushes himself into me.

He’s different from every guy I’ve been with—not just the fact that I love him, but the way he moves inside of me tonight, as though every thrust is deliberate. “Fuck, Evan. You’re tight.”

“I don’t do this a lot…. Ahh.” My breath catches in my throat as he quickens his pace and kisses my breasts. Before I even know it’s happening, he flips me over so I’m riding him. I gyrate my hips, reveling in the friction of him moving in and out of me. When his thumb finds my clit, it’s too much.

“Kiss me,” he orders with a gravelly voice. “I want to feel you come.”

I lean forward and find his lips. He increases the pressure of his hand and I lose it, crying his name into his mouth. When I’m finished, he flips me again and throws my legs over his shoulders, his fingernails digging into my hips. Every thrust is deeper than the last and I’m so sensitive—it’s almost too much. Finally, he groans his release and collapses on top of me.

Our breath dances together until we’ve each finally caught our own. I run my fingers through his hair and start to laugh.

“Was I that bad?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

“I came twice.” And then I giggle again.

He chuckles and presses his lips to the cleft of my ribcage. “Damn straight, you came twice. That’s the new norm now. Get used to it.”

I sigh happily. He rolls from me, and I snuggle up against his chest.

“I need to go back to the apartment and get my shit tomorrow. That’s going to be awkward.”

“How’d she take it?”

He shrugs, staring at his dark ceiling. “Better than I did, even though I was the one doing the breaking up. I think that, after a while, you become so content with remembering how it used to be that you’re not ready to let go.” He pushes the hair from my face and looks into my eyes—my soul. “Promise me, Evan. We’ll never turn into that.”

I grin. “Are you asking me to be your
giiirrrlllfrienndd
?”

“Check yes, no, or maybe.”

I faux ponder for a moment, and then I grow serious when I remember what my future holds. “Dallas, I’m leaving in the fall. I’m moving across the country.”

He shrugs. “So what?”

“So what? It’s a big deal, so what.”

“I’m only going to have one year of school left, and part of that time I’ll be in Costa Rica working on my project. So yeah, it might suck for a while. But then I’ll come for you.”

“You’d move across the entire country just for me? Even if you have a great job by then? Even if there’s no field work in Boston or anywhere else close to Harvard?”

“Evan—I can’t live without you. I realized this when I was sitting on your porch and thinking that I was going to die.”

I play-punch him. “Pussy.”

“Seriously.” The back of his knuckles caress my jaw, and he kisses my forehead. “I’d move anywhere for you.”