Shutout (The Renegades Series Book 5) (21 page)

His sister gave him a disbelieving look. “But you were just starting out. You didn’t need the extra responsibility of looking after a wife who didn’t support you fully, especially not one who was going to be off chasing her own career.”

“That’s not the point. I was never going to force her to stay in the kitchen and have my kids.”

“Dom, we didn’t mean to cause problems,” she said.

He shook his head. In her mind, she hadn’t done anything wrong. For whatever reason, they all acted like it was still 1940 and they had to stay barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. It might work for them, but not for him.

He didn’t want a wife who thought she had to fit into a certain role. He wanted a wife who had her own ideas, who had spark. If she wanted to be a homemaker, that was fine. If she wanted something else, that was fine too. Whatever she wanted to do, he’d support her all the way.

Dragging in a deep breath, he calmed himself before he answered, and his voice sounded flat and tired. “I know, Rosa. I’m sure you were just trying to help. But thanks for telling me.”

No wonder Hailee had run away from him. Why hadn’t she come to him and talked about her worries? Why had she just accepted what his sisters had said, and just disappeared like that? And why did he feel as though there was more to this? The Hailee he knew wouldn’t have thrown their love away without a fight. His head and his heart ached. Maybe she’d never loved him the way he thought she had.

He remembered her pale face when he’d said goodbye today. She’d been just as shocked and unhappy as he had about his ending things, no matter what she said.

He ran his hands over his face in despair. His heart was tearing apart all over again, and this time it was all on him. He’d just told her that it was over and he was moving on. Shit. Even as he’d said the words, he knew they were a lie. How could he ever move on with another woman, when he knew he would never get over Hailee?

Hailee

Hailee returned her mom’s tight hug. She didn’t know why she had called her parents, but it felt like the thing to do. “Mom, you remember Mia? Mikey’s sister?” Hailee ushered Mia into the house, fearful her friend might leave her here alone.

“Mia, dear, of course I do!” Rena Valentine pulled Mia into a hug. She released Mia only long enough to grab Hailee and pull both of them into a hug. “I’m so glad you girls are here.”

“Rena, let the girls in the damn door,” Mack Valentine called from the living room.

“Daddy!” Hailee pulled free from her mom and ran to her dad. “I’ve missed you guys.”

“Well maybe you should call or visit more often,” Mack teased with a hint of seriousness in his rugged voice. Mack was a tall and sturdy man who favored flannel shirts and blue jeans over suits. His hair was still thick and dark, and his beard reminded her of a lumberjack. He was her rock, always had been, and he gave the best hugs. The kind of hugs that made everything all right. But her dad’s hugs couldn’t fix this. “Your job can’t keep you that busy, surely?”

“I’m sorry.” She wasn’t ashamed of her job, but it also wasn’t something she wanted her parents to know about. They thought she still worked as an office temp and helped out at the Pet Salon in her spare time. But she didn’t want to talk about any of that right now; she just wanted her parents. Just like when she was little, when things were falling apart, there was only one place she wanted to be. Home. Slipping out of her dad’s arms, she moved back to her mom. Hot tears filled her eyes. “Oh Mom, I messed everything up.”

“Oh honey, whatever it is, I’m sure it can’t be that bad.” Rena wrapped her loving arms around Hailee as she sobbed.

“What’s all the commotion? And why is Hailee crying?” Hailee’s brother Brody said, as he walked into the living room. “Things never change, do they?” Brody was tall and thick like their dad, same lumberjack beard, but he was a ginger. “Am I right, Mia?”

“He’s right. You were an overemotional teenager.” Mia laughed.

“Shut up, Mia.” Hailee wiped her eyes before she rushed to hug her brother. “Brody, I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Where else do you think I’d be when my little sister finally decided to come home for a visit?”

“I’m sorry I waited so long.”

“Honey, we’re your parents. Anytime you need help, that’s what we’re here for. I’m so glad that you called.” Rena gave Hailee one last hug. “Okay, let’s all sit down and get comfortable.”

Hailee, Mia, and Brody settled on the couch, while her dad took a seat in his armchair.

“Let’s talk about these tattoos, shall we?” Brody laughed.

Hailee groaned.
Why did he have to bring that up
?

“Really Brody? I figured it would be later before everyone jumped on me about that.” It wasn’t easy to hide them. She had on pants, so at least her leg ink wasn’t visible, but her arms and neck were in full view once she took off her sweatshirt.

“Hailee, I wasn’t even going to say anything about them,” her mom said. “But since Brody brought it up, I only have one question for you. Did you draw them all, you know, design them yourself?”

Hailee was surprised by the question, but it was nice to be asked. “Yes, actually I did. Every one of them.” It was true. She worked one on one with her tattoo artist until it was exactly what she wanted, or gave him the drawings to put on her body. “It just feels right wearing my own art.”

“Good.” Rena shrugged.

“Good? That’s it? No ‘Why so many?’ or ‘But why mar your beauty?’ ” Surprised by the unusual non-judgement from her mom, Hailee’s jaw hung open as she stared. Rena had never made a secret about how much she hated the few tattoos Hailee had before she moved.

Since then Hailee had added more and more until she felt true to herself. Now she had more skin that was tattooed than not.

“That’s it. Now, what does everyone want to drink? Are you girls hungry? Of course you are, it’s almost dinner time. I’ll make dinner.”

“Mom, I’ll just take a water. We’re fine, don’t go to any trouble. We can grab something on the way back to Mia’s.”

“Nonsense, I have some sauce from the yesterday that I can heat up, spaghetti, and I can throw together a salad. You guys want water, too?”

“I’ll come help you, dear,” Mack said, as he got up and moved towards his wife.

“Water is fine, Mrs. Valentine,” Mia answered.

“Honey, please call me Mom, or at least Rena. You are like family, after all.”

“Okay, Mrs. Val—I mean, Mom.”

“Ma, I already have a water, but thank you. Want me to help with dinner?” Brody asked.

“No, honey. You sit and visit with your sister and Mia. But thanks for offering.” Rena and Mack disappeared into the kitchen.

“So what’s the big disaster, sis?”

Brody wasn’t trying to be rude; he just had a sarcastic sense of humor sometimes.

“I’m not so sure you want to know.” Hailee moaned and covered her face. Telling her brother wasn’t such a good idea. He might be liable to fly back to Pittsburgh and hunt Dominic down. “All that’s really important is that I think I messed everything up. My bull-headed stubbornness just wouldn’t allow me to be happy, and, well, here I am.”

“Well, I knew you were bull-headed; that’s not news to me.”

“I made a huge mistake, and I think it’s too late now to fix.”

“I can’t decipher your code talk. Could you be a little clearer?” Brody shook his head. “Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

She groaned. “No.”

“She has a broken heart.” Mia would her arm around Hailee.

“Didn’t we nurse her through enough of those as a teenager?” Brody added.

Hailee loved her brother but she didn’t need his humor right now. This wasn’t a teenage heartache.

“Kids, dinner is almost heated up. Why don’t you go wash up and help your dad set the table?” Her mom called from the hallway.

“We’ll talk at dinner.” Hailee waved for Mia to follow her to the downstairs bathroom.

In the safety of the closed bathroom, Hailee took a long hard breath. She pushed back the hot tears that threatened to fall. “Why am I even here?”

“Because you needed your family,” Mia answered.

“But Brody is ready to kick Dominic’s ass and he doesn’t even know what the problem is.”

“Brothers don’t need to know the problem. They just need to know you need their help.”

“There it is again, needing help. I don’t need help. They can’t fix this. I pushed Dominic away too many times. He’s done with me.” Hailee washed and dried her hands and opened the bathroom door.

“Somehow, I don’t believe that for a second. Tell me again what he said to you before he left?” Mia dried off her hands and they slowly walked to the dining room.

“He said he couldn’t do this with me anymore. That he loved me and wanted us to be friends, and that he was just a phone call away if I needed him. But that he knows now we can’t be together.” She choked back the lump in her throat. “Then he said he was tired of hanging on to a dream and that he was ready to move on, find someone else.” Her last words came out as a hoarse whisper. She fought to breathe as she remembered his words.

“He’s tired of trying. Do you blame him? You flirted a little. He asked you out a few times so you could get reacquainted, maybe become friends. You stayed at his place after he brought you home drunk, and you ran off the next morning. Then you went out again, jumped into bed, and next morning you ran
to another country
. You’re giving him so many mixed signals his head must be spinning. Do you blame the guy?” Mia’s words hurt, but the part that stung the most is that Mia wasn’t wrong.

“First of all, you’re making me sound like a bitch and a ho. I’m hurting here.”

“Well, if the shoe fits,” Mia sang.

“Mia, I thought you were on my side.”

“I am, Hay, I’ll always be on your side. But you need someone to be honest with you, and you know me, I’m not one to sugarcoat.”

“Are you girls ready yet? Dinner is on the table.” Her mom poked her head around the corner.

“Coming, Mom.”

Dinner was quiet. Hailee was hungry since she hadn’t eaten very well lately; spaghetti and meat sauce really hit the spot. This was one of the few things she missed living in Pittsburgh. Nothing compared to her mom’s cooking. Once they were done eating, her mom stood up to clear the table.

“Sit down, hon. I’ll take care of the dishes. You visit with Hailee.” Her dad took the dishes from her mom and took them into the kitchen.

“Such a good guy, even after all these years,” her mom mused. “So, Hailee, what’s going on with you? Mia, are you mixed up in this one’s hijinks too?”

“No ma’am, I mean Mom. Hailee called me because she had to get out of the States.”

Hailee looked at her friend and shook her head.

“Hailee honey, why? What happened?”

She was tired of talking about this. “Long story made short, I ran into Dominic in Pittsburgh. He wanted to reconnect, and I kept pushing him away, until I didn’t… then I ran back here. Because as much as I still have feelings for him, I’m not ready to give up on my dreams.”

Her mom shook her head. “Honey, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“She slept with him after being a bitch to him time and time again. She still has feelings for him, but refuses to admit it, because she doesn’t want to be barefoot and pregnant, stuck in the kitchen,” Mia blurted out. Hailee glared at her. Mia shrugged. “What? That’s the long and the short of it.”

“Oh my God.” Hailee groaned, covering her face with her hands.

“So I have to kick his ass for taking advantage of my sister,” Brody stated, as he gathered dishes from the table to take back to the kitchen.

“No, Brody. You don’t. I don’t have a problem with any of that. Well, the barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen thing I do, but he finally put his foot down and said that he’s done chasing me. He said that I win.”

Brody shook his head and mumbled something about not understanding women, as he disappeared into the kitchen.

“But he made it clear that if she ever needs him, he’s only a call away, no matter what she needs,” Mia added, turning back to Hailee’s mom.

“So, you’re upset that he finally seems like he’s over you?” her Mom asked.

Why did it sound so pathetic when her mom said it? “Well, yeah.” Contrary to everything she’d said, she wasn’t ready for him to give up on her. “He was annoying when he was bugging me, trying to get my attention—”

“But now that he’s over it, you miss it?” Mom asked. “You thought this was what you wanted, but now—”

“I didn’t want to win, not like this.” She squeaked out. She was pathetic, utterly pathetic. And a total bitch, like Mia had said. “Well, now that we’ve determined that I am just pathetic and only want what I can’t have, I guess we’ll be going.” Why did I even come here? She didn’t know what she expected. She made this mess; it was hers and only hers to clean up. Mommy and Daddy couldn’t help. Not this time.

“Hailee, you’re being dramatic,” Mia said.

“Honey, that’s not what I think. Let’s talk this over.” Her mom grabbed Hailee’s wrist as she stood up, stopping her from leaving. Hailee hesitated a moment before wearily sitting back down.

“Mom, about Dominic. There’s so much more to the story.” She wanted to get her mom’s take on it. Was she really as pathetic as she seemed? Or had she done the right thing? Maybe her mom could answer that. She’d have to tell the whole story. “When I broke up with him, when I ended our relationship, his sisters had taken me out shopping for the day. I had a wonderful time, and it was all leading up to him proposing at a nice dinner that night. I was ready to stand by his side, be his better half. But by the time I got to dinner, his sisters were in my head.”

“In what way?”

“They had told me that Zanetti women basically have to be stay at home wives and moms who live to serve their man. They don’t need careers because they have a family to take care of, and wanting my own career would be selfish.”

Mia cringed.

Hailee’s mom frowned. “Oh my, I never got that from Dominic. He was always such a nice young man, always very helpful when he was here. I recall him always doing the dishes with your father.” She smiled. “And he used to look so cute in an apron when he helped us bake cookies. He was good at making those cookies. Nana’s recipe. Remember that?”

“Yes mother, I remember that.” Christmas cookies were his favorite to help with. “No, I never felt that from him either. But his sisters got to me. That’s not how I was raised, and I had no intention of being that girl.” Hailee took a deep breath before continuing. “So then I told them about my dreams of owning my own art gallery, and they basically told me to forget having a life of my own. They said if I couldn’t forget about that, then I should let him go.”

“What? That’s awful.” Her mom frowned and shook her head. “Why would they say that?”

Hailee sighed. “You have to remember that this was when Dom was just starting out, and all his sisters could talk about was how determined he was to continue the Zanetti legacy.” She tried to swallow the big knot that sat lodged in her throat. “They sat me down and told me that even having a girlfriend was probably too much for Dom to worry about at that point in his career, much less being saddled with a wife who wasn’t going to be one hundred percent supportive. That he was too young to take on extra responsibilities, and that he needed his head completely in the game until he made it in the Professional Hockey League.”