Side Chic 4 (Forever Ratchet) (10 page)

I stood there with my mouth opened wide, shocked by the last words that he’d said. I threw up my hands. “You know what, I am not about to stand here and argue with you about who was right and who was wrong about how things began and ended between us. “We” are a thing of the past. So there is really no need for us to be going back and forth.”

“I’ll never understand how women will sit and complain about being with a motherfucka who treats them like shit, cheats and beats on them but when they find a good nigga that actually loves and cares for them they will do him fucked up.” He looked me in my eyes. “I guess when you’re used to being treated like shit. You start to think that is the way shit should be.”

I didn’t feel like arguing with him anymore. “Good bye Skeet.” I told him turning and limping back into the kitchen to get my crutches.

“Fuck you, Kisha!” I heard him yell after me. I didn’t reply I just kept walking. I was learning that sometimes it was best to keep your mouth shut and walk away.

Lala

              I walked through the house one last time checking to see if I had everything and if I’d turned off all of the appliances and lights. I was leaving, headed to Boykins. It’d been a week and a half since I’d seen my babies and I couldn’t stand not seeing them another day. The only reason that I’d waited so long was to try and allow Tre sometime to cool off because I didn’t want to fight with him once I got there. I was hoping that the two of us could possibly sit down and try to figure out some way to co-parent without things having to get ugly. The last time that I’d seen him things had gotten really out of hand. I was still in disbelief about the whole gun situation. I knew that in my heart I would never be able to look at him in the same way ever again. I’d lost all respect for him that night because he’d shown me that he didn’t have any at all for me. That had topped any and everything that he’d ever done in the past. Those things had been forgivable but him pulling a gun on me wasn’t something that I could never forgive or forget for that matter. Regardless of how mad he’d been, he still should’ve never allowed his anger to push him to that point. Not only that but I felt like he should’ve known me better than to believe that I’d ever do anything to hurt my babies. Yes, I’d made a bad decision which had led to something awful happening but he couldn’t hold me accountable for Reggie’s actions. The Tre that I’d seen looking back at me that night standing in my hallway with a gun aimed at my face, wasn’t the man that I’d fallen in love with. He wasn’t the same man that I’d gone out of my way to protect and in the process given up everything and even left my home. He wasn’t the man that I’d wanted so desperately to be with and raise my daughters with. He was someone else. It’d crossed my mind a million and one times since that night how he’d had the audacity to look down on me for not “knowing” Reggie but the truth was I really didn’t know him either and he’d proven that time and time again through his actions. He’d done some really foul shit over the past year and a half that I would’ve never expected from him, leaving me wondering if it was really safe to say that I “knew” anybody. Maybe I, like everybody else, just thought I “knew” a lot of motherfuckas but in reality only knew what they chose to reveal.

             
I stopped in the hallway and leaned back against the wall for a few seconds. I took a deep breath and exhaled and then I repeated the same thing once more. For some reason, I’d been having this nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach since the day before and something in the back of my mind was telling me not to go to Boykins. Almost like God was trying to warn me about something but I had to go. There was no way I could continue on like this, not seeing my kids and not knowing how they were doing. I’d called numerous times to check on them but Tre ignored all of my calls. I’d thought about calling his mother and asking her how they were but I wasn’t sure of what he’d told her about the situation and how she may have felt about me at this point. I was almost sure that after hearing Tre’s version of what had happened she probably hated me too and felt that I was an unfit parent as well.

“
Lord please take this feeling away.
Whatever it is, I’m putting it in your hands
.
” I looked upward in the direction of the ceiling and whispered before pulling myself together and going back into the living room.

             
“Do you have everything?” Nisey asked glancing back at me as I entered the room. She was closing the blinds. She’d demanded to ride with me to Boykins and had let me know that she wasn’t taking no for an answer. She didn’t trust Tre after how he’d showed out and I didn’t either. With this bad feeling that I was having, I was kind of glad that she was going with me. Maybe her being there would help to ease my nerves some.

             
“Yeah, I believe that I do. Whatever I don’t have, I guess will be fine.” I said running my hand over my face. I was drained, both physically and mentally because I hadn’t had much sleep since everything that had taken place. I didn’t have any appetite at all. I missed my babies so bad that it hurt. They’d never been away from me for more than a couple hours. The past week and a half had been pure torture. The only good thing that had managed to happen was the judge had denied Reggie of a bond when he’d gone to court the week before. I was thankful for that. I hoped that they never let his no good ass out. He’d had the nerve to try and apologize when he’d seen me. I’d turned and walked off. Fuck him and his apology, certain shit was unforgivable and fucking with my babies was definitely on the list!

             
Nisey and I walked out of the house and I locked the doors behind us.

             
“Do you want me to drive?” Nisey offered as we walked towards my car. “You don’t look so good.”

             
“I have a migraine.” I admitted, choosing to leave out the part about the feeling that I was having. I’d taken two Aleve when I’d first woke but they hadn’t helped at all. “All of this mess that’s been going on has me stressed out something awful.”

             
“I know it does but everything is going to be alright.” She said sympathetically holding her hand out. “Give me the keys. I’ll drive and you can try to relax and take a nap because you are going to need to be alert once you get to Boykins. Laila and Lola are going to wear your butt out!” She giggled. I knew that she was trying to cheer me up but it didn’t work because all I kept thinking to myself was that Tre wasn’t going to make things that easy for me. Knowing him, he was going to try and show his black ass when I showed up to get my babies but it was what it was because I wasn’t leaving Boykins without my babies.

             
I gave her the keys and then walked around the car and opened up the door. I tried forcing a smile as I slid in on the passenger side. “Yeah…I hope so.” I replied quietly as I sat my pocketbook down next to my feet and buckled my seatbelt. I propped my arm up against the door and rested my head against my hand.

             
Nisey got in on the other side and buckled her seatbelt as well. “You’ll see. Those girls are going to be so happy to see you, you aren’t going to be able to put them down.” She started the car, put it in drive and drove out of the driveway.

             
I looked out the window and started to pray silently again. I felt like I couldn’t pray enough.
Lord please don’t let this trip end up being horrible. I just want to get my babies and bring them home. I don’t want to deal with any drama from Tre, Kisha or his new girlfriend. I just want to get my babies and leave. I’ve dealt with enough drama and nonsense and my babies have been through enough as well. Please Lord, be in control of this situation and allow things to work out maturely and peacefully. Amen…

             
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Normally saying a prayer always made me feel better but I’d been praying all night and all morning and nothing had changed. If anything it’d gotten worse. I just couldn’t shake the bad feeling that I had in the pit of my stomach. I already knew that I was headed directly into some bullshit and the only thing that kept crossing my mind was the gun that Tre’d had that night at my house. The feeling that I had was so strong I damn near wanted to tell Nisey to turn around and let’s not go but I had to see my girls so instead of saying anything, I kept quiet and continued to pray silently.

             
“What’s on your mind?” Nisey inquired tearing me away from my thoughts. She reached over and turned down the radio, which had already been low to start with. Now it couldn’t be heard at all. “You are all quiet over there staring out the window. What’s up?”

             
“Nothing.” I lied rubbing my temples. My migraine seemed to be getting worse. The pain had become almost unbearable. I reached down and picked up my pocketbook placing it on my lap. I took out the bottle of Aleve, opened them and shook two into my hand. I closed the bottle, placed it back in my bag and took the water that I’d bought out and used it to take the pills. When I was done, I placed my pocketbook back on the floor.

             
“Try to relax and take a nap Lala that will make your head feel better.” Nisey said momentarily taking her eyes off of the road and glancing over at me. I could see concern written all over her face. “I know that a lot has happened over the past week and a half but you’ve still got to take care of yourself. Those two little girls need their mama because Tre and nobody else is going to take care of them or treat them like you do. You are a great mother and I don’t give a damn what Tre, social services or nobody else says. I’m telling you that you are a damn good mother. You made a mistake, you misjudged Reggie’s sorry ass but that doesn’t make you unfit. It makes you human. We all make mistakes and the last time that I checked there weren’t any perfect motherfuckas walking around here. So you quit all of that worrying and stressing and pull it together for them babies so that you will be feeling good enough to play with them and spoil them when you get down there. Fuck Tre and if he want to get stupid, we can do that too. We will turn Boykins out down here today!”

             
Hearing how she had my back brought a proud smile to my face and actually managed to ease my nerves a little. “Girl, you are a mess.” I laughed.

             
She laughed too. “Nah, I just don’t like seeing you like this. You are my girl, the only real friend that I’ve had in a very long time.” Her smile slowly faded and her face took on a serious expression. “I remember the day that my husband and my son died. I thought that I was going to be alone in this world because his family can’t stand me and I’m not that close with my own family. For months, I was by myself, pregnant and depressed without a soul to talk to about it except Evan. I would sit in the house and rub my belly talking to him but mostly apologizing to him for being such a fuck up. Then that day at the doctor’s office God sent you. I am a firm believer that people cross paths in life for a reason and that it’s not by mistake. You and I were both going through a rough patch in our lives when we met. He brought us together to help each other through the rough.” I saw a tear roll down her cheek and she reached up and wiped it away. Seeing her become emotional cause me to become emotional as well and my eyes started to tear up. Never taking her eyes off of the road, she continued. “The day that I gave birth to Evan, none of Johnathan’s family showed their faces and my family showed up late, after everything was over but you were right there by my side from the first labor pain until I pushed him out. I appreciate that more than you could ever know. I say that to say, you have been a good friend to me and been by my side when I’ve needed you so there is no way in hell that I am not going to be here for you. Now again…if Tre or any of his little ratchet bitches wants to get stupid, we can get stupid right along with them. I ain’t saying we gone win the battle but we ain’t going out without a bang damn it!”

             
I burst into laughter and so did she, both of us wiping our tears.

             
“Nisey, you’re a fool!” I shook my head continuing to laugh.

             
“Yeah, I know.” She agreed. “I love you girl.”

             
“I love you too.” I looked at my friend and realized that our friendship had become something more. She had become my sister…we were family.

             
                                                                      Lala

Nisey woke me up by calling my name just as we turned into Tre’s driveway. I sat up, stretched and then glanced at the time on the dashboard clock while rubbing the sleep from my eyes. It was a little after noon. I reached up and flipped down the sun visor and looked in the mirror. I rubbed my hair down because it was a little dishevel and applied some gloss to my lips.

“You good?” Nisey asked running her hands over her hair as well
as she looked into the mirror on the driver’s side.

“
Yeah, I’m good.” I replied flipping the sun visor back up. “Thank you so much for driving all the way here. My plan was to let you drive halfway and then take over but obviously I was more tired than I’d thought.”

“Girl, it’s all good. I didn’t mind.” She said waving me off
and then pointing at the three cars parked in the driveway. “Tre has a lot of company doesn’t he?”