Sidekick Returns (32 page)

The next morning there was pain. Lots and lots of pain. I groaned as I shifted positions on Bart's musty sofa. Last night had been a complete bust. We didn't get anything useful out of Ricky, and now we were out of time. To make matters worse, Queenie and I got back to the store pretty late. After the club we went for emerald shots on a yacht—which somehow turned into a bit of a drinking contest between Queenie and the guys. I think Queenie won, but she didn't seem to be enjoying her hangover prize. In fact, the whole evening seemed a little out of character for her. But I had been thinking about it, and I thought I knew what was going on. ‘Queenie? You awake?'

She didn't answer, but her breathing changed, so I took that as permission to continue. ‘I gotta know,' I whispered. ‘Why did you break up with Bart?'

I waited for what felt like an eternity before I finally heard her mutter something back.

‘What? I couldn't quite hear you.'

‘He held my hand!' A second later, she sighed, and said, ‘In bed. Afterwards. He held my hand.'

I nodded. ‘Must have freaked you out a bit.' I waited another moment before I said, ‘Queenie?'

Again, the figure curled up in the recliner didn't answer. ‘Can I offer you some advice?'

‘I've murdered you for less in my dreams.'

‘You need to break up with Kevin.'

Silence.

‘Look. You're obviously still hung up on Bart in your own way, and Kevin … well, he's a sweet, strange giant.'

Queenie's chest filled with air, which she let out noisily. ‘I'm not dating Kevin. I never was dating Kevin. He doesn't have any friends. He's in one of my classes, and … and, he's a stray, like you, clinging to me like a tic.'

I couldn't help but let out an, ‘Aww,' while I stared at the stained tiling of Bart's ceiling. ‘But, I think, he thinks you're dating.'

I looked over at Queenie as she sighed again. ‘I'll take care of it. But while we're on the topic,' she said, eyes closed. ‘You need to talk to Pierce.'

It was my turn to sigh. ‘I don't even know if he wants to talk to me.'

Queenie still didn't open her eyes, but she jerked a thumb over to the far side of the room. ‘Why don't you ask him?'

I jerked up to a seated position. Whoa, I definitely had too much to drink last night because there was Pierce, asleep, precariously leaned back in a straight-backed chair, arms folded across his chest. I hadn't even seen him last night.

‘He showed up yesterday when you were out. He told us his side of things.' She opened her eyes to look at me. ‘Turns out he was working with your sister to get information to bring your father down.'

I nodded. Thank God I was too dehydrated to make any tears.

‘He thinks maybe Jenny's drinking the Kool-Aid though.'

My breath caught. No … no. She just had him fooled too.

‘He knew about the fashion show. He thinks it's a mistake for you to go. Apparently your father told Jenny this will be the thing that makes you come home for good.'

‘Nothing in this world is going to make that happen.' But that was a lie. I'd do it for my sister. If I had to.

‘Go,' Queenie prodded. ‘Talk to him.'

‘No.' I crossed my arms over my chest. ‘I don't want to.'

‘Why not?'

Suddenly my throat tightened. ‘Because I don't think I like what I'm going to say.'

She sighed and settled back in. ‘All the more reason.'

My eyes trailed over Pierce's sleeping form. His features rode that perfect line between handsome and rugged. But all the beauty aside, what I liked best about his face was the openness that just seemed to shine through. He had looked so careworn the last few times I had seen him, but today, sleeping, you could see the boy he once was, and the man he had become—one who still believed in right and wrong.

I got up, and with every step I took towards him, the invisible hand gripping my heart squeezed a little tighter.

‘Pierce,' I said softly.

He didn't move.

‘Pierce.' I touched his shoulder. His arms flew wide as the back of the chair smacked onto to the floor.

‘What! What's happening!' Pierce yelled, flailing on the floor. His eyes finally found mine. ‘What's wrong, Bremy?'

‘We need to talk.'

Chapter 48

I led Pierce up to the rooftop of Bart's store, so that we could have some privacy. The day was getting off to a gloomy start, but at least there were a couple of old milk crates for us to sit on.

We positioned ourselves across from each other, and Pierce reached out to grab my hand, but then his fingers moved up to point to my neck. ‘Are you okay? You have a mark there.'

‘I do?' My hand flew up. Huh, the skin felt a little tender. What the … son of a Ricky!

‘Bremy, what's going on?'

I looked at him, his eyes all rounded in concern, and it once again occurred to me that I really didn't want to do this. ‘Pierce,' I began, ‘I know … I know we're not really going out, but … we need to break up.'

He closed his eyes, and shook his head. ‘I knew I should have told you about Jenny sooner. It's just—'

‘No … no.' I squeezed his hand. ‘This isn't about Jenny. I mean, I could hardly get mad at you for that after all the lies I told when we first met.'

‘Then what is it?' He searched my eyes. ‘Is it this Ricky guy? I kind of sensed at the museum … he kept looking at you … I—'

‘No.' I breathed in deeply, trying to loosen some of the tightness in my chest. ‘Not at all. I barely know the guy. And I don't think we have much in common.' I took another breath. ‘Pierce, you're so good and sweet … and I admire you more than maybe anyone else I've ever known.'

He smiled, but there was worry in his eyes. ‘That doesn't sound bad.'

‘I think maybe in part,' I paused, trying to find the right words, ‘I think I've been trying so hard to make things work between us because, well, if you liked me then I wasn't a bad person.'

His eyes widened, wrinkling his forehead. ‘Bremy, you're not a bad person.'

‘I know.

‘I mean it.'

‘I know,' I said, again squeezing his hands. ‘I think I really do. At least, I'm getting there. And I believe you think that. So that's not the problem either.'

Pierce just waited with his big, blue eyes pleading for me not to take Christmas away. Dammit! I didn't want to take Christmas away either! I loved Christmas! But I didn't see any other way.

‘The problem is,' I said, pausing to bite my lip, ‘you don't believe I can do this.'

‘Do what?'

‘This,' I said, gesturing around. ‘Everything we're …' I stopped to pat my chest ‘Everything
I'm
trying to do here. Save Ryder. Stop my father. Face Jenny.'

He began to speak, but I stopped him with a hand.

‘And you know what? You're probably right,' I said, smiling sadly. ‘Pierce, you're so practical. And responsible. And trustworthy-ish. The whole Jenny incident notwithstanding.'

This time he jumped in. ‘And you're so daring, and fun, and you have faith, and you—' He stopped, his eyes darting, as though looking for the right words. ‘You just try when no one else will.'

I continued on. ‘Not to mention the fact you're kind. You're smart. You're really, really hot. You're everything I've been looking for. So in a weird way, I,' I paused, almost backing out of what I was going to say next, ‘I love you more for doubting
all of this
, but …'

‘But?'

‘I love me less.'

He looked as though I had slapped him. After a moment, he said, ‘I don't want to make you feel that way. I don't want that for you. I'll stop—'

I lunged forward and kissed him.

A moment or two later, I pulled back and said, ‘I think maybe, it's just that, we're both not ready. That's why we never even really got started.'

A shaky breath escaped his lips. ‘We never could seem to get any traction.'

‘We … we just need more time, I think.' Not really sure if I thought that at all. The pain in my chest certainly didn't seem to think so. ‘Maybe we were trying to finish ourselves with each other. We were looking for the things we couldn't give to ourselves.'

Pierce's eyes widened. ‘Bremy, that's … that's really, profound.'

‘I know. I'm kind of scaring myself right now.'

‘So this is it?' Pierce asked, leaning back. A little rain started to fall. I watched a drop land on his cheek.

‘Yeah,' I said softly. ‘This is it.' I leaned in for another kiss.

Pierce looked confused.

‘Well, almost it,' I added quickly. ‘There's a little more kissing first.'

***

Pierce wanted a moment to himself up on the roof, so I headed back down to join the others. Bart stopped me before I even made it down the stairs.

‘Bremy! You'll never guess!'

‘What?'

‘I think Queenie's breaking up with Kevin!'

‘Actually, Bart, it turns out that … you know what, never mind.' I couldn't help but think a little bit of doubt was good for him.

‘I mean, they're in the kitchen, and he's making these loud honking noises that sound kind of like—wait, why do you look like that?' Bart asked, suddenly peering into my face. ‘What's going on there?' He swirled a finger around my eyes. ‘Are those happy tears?'

I took a deep breath and said, ‘I broke up with Pierce.'

Bart stared at me a moment then yelled, ‘You moron!'

I let the breath out. ‘I knew I could count on you for sup—'

‘What were you thinking? You can't do any better than that!' He pointed up the stairs. ‘Nobody can do better than that!'

‘Yes, I know. Thank you.'

‘Seriously. He saved my life! And this is how you repay him? What were you thinking?'

Suddenly Queenie stepped out of the shadows in front of Bart and flicked him between the eyebrows.

I watched Bart gulp before saying, ‘Please Mistress, may I have some more?'

‘Alright, let's get this together, people.' I rolled my shoulders. ‘We don't have much time. We have a fashion show to prepare for.'

‘Would you like me to go?'

We all looked up to Pierce standing at the top of the stairs.

I was about to say no, when Bart yelled, ‘Please don't leave us!'

‘You'd better stay,' I added. ‘Bart doesn't know who he wants to have custody of him yet.'

‘Him! I want him!'

Thankfully, Queenie grabbed Bart by the ear, and we headed out to the other room.

***

We spent the majority of the day eating a lovely array of finger foods and drinking tea. Who knew Bart had such awesome refreshments? Unfortunately, with our lack of information, the planning didn't amount to much. Yes, I was going to the fashion show. Yes, it was another set-up. Yes, my father probably had something horrible planned. But there was a chance Ryder would be there, and it was our best chance to get her out. If that meant I sacrificed myself back into the St. James fold, then so be it. Sure, the others argued that they weren't about to let that happen, but I was resolved. There was a chance my father was telling the truth about Jenny needing me, and if that was the case, I had to go back anyway. Might as well get Ryder out at the same time.

Everyone agreed to come along as my entourage. I doubted my father would just release Ryder without a catch, so we had to be on our toes. Queenie provided the appropriate outfits, and Bart hooked us up with ear buds to communicate. But given the amount of stress eating we were engaged in, I would say we all knew the odds were not in our favour.

‘Before we go,' I said, getting to my feet. ‘I'd like to say a few words.'

I waited for Bart to interject with a smart-ass comment, but surprisingly he didn't. I wiped the sweat from my palms against my legs then said, ‘I just wanted to say that I know I've made some bad decisions lately.' I looked around at all the faces in the room. It suddenly occurred to me that I trusted each and every one of them. Well, maybe not Kevin, but … no, even Kevin. ‘But the good news about all the craziness is that it has forced me to come to a conclusion.' Everyone waited.

I put my hand on my chest. ‘I don't know what I'm doing.'

I let that sink in. Suddenly Kevin clapped his hands together, waited a few moments, then clapped again. My eyes flashed to his. He looked back at me, hands hovered for another clap. Bart snorted.

‘Not yet, Kevin.'

He dropped his hands.

‘You see, I used to know how to be Bremy St. James. And the thing about being that Bremy St. James was that I could do whatever I wanted … say whatever I wanted … and there were never any consequences, or, if there were, I didn't have to deal with them. But I don't want to be that girl anymore.' I shook my head, making eye contact with everyone. ‘I want to be a crime fighter. But the problem with that is I don't have any specialised training. I don't have any gadgets, and frankly, I'm not even in good shape.'

‘Preach!' Bart yelled.

Queenie slapped his arm with the back of her hand.

‘But I've also realised something else about myself.'

Silence.

‘What I do have is the desire to help. In fact, sometimes I can't stop myself from helping even when I probably should. But that's the key word here. Helping.' I looked around at everyone again. ‘We're all here today to help. To help Ryder. To help my sister. To help this city. I would say thank you to you all, but I know it's not my place. It's just who you all are. I'm not a hero.' I patted my chest. ‘I'm a sidekick. In a way, we're all sidekicks. And … well, I say, it's time to get our hero back.' Silence once again fell upon the room. A confused look came over Bart's face. He cocked his head to the side and said, ‘That wasn't half bad.'