Sidewinder 01 Shock & Awe (9 page)

Kelly talked the whole way through, mumbling to him, begging him, groaning and moaning. Nick held to him as they both gasped and grunted, as his cum spurted between Kelly’s legs and against his ass.

“Jesus fucking Christ that feels good,” Kelly finally panted.

Nick pushed away from him, taking hold of his shoulder and turning him to press his back against the wall. Kelly was biting his lip, his eyes fluttering as he tried and failed to keep them open. Nick stepped close and kissed him, diving into it. Kelly’s hands tangled in his hair.

Nick growled into the languid kiss. All sense of urgency had leaked out of both of them, and Nick’s palm was covered in cum that wasn’t his. He pulled away from the kiss. “You came, didn’t you?”

Kelly began to laugh, curling around Nick and pressing their bodies closer.

“Jackass,” Nick muttered against his lips.

Kelly stretched out on the lounger on the small balcony outside his bedroom. The stars winked overhead. The moon shone down, bright on his bare skin. It was cool enough that Nick had gone back inside for a blanket, because neither of them was willing to get dressed again.

Nick’s cum was drying between his legs. He’d refused to clean up because he wanted to feel it there. It was a singularly odd sensation, but Kelly was digging it. In fact, it was sexy as hell. He was all for new experiences, after all.

He was also pretty sure there was going to be a handprint on his neck. Bite marks on his shoulder. Jesus Christ, that was hot. And he’d actually been compelled to put Neosporin on Nick’s ribs where he’d drawn blood.

He heard Nick bang into something and cuss it up and down before stumbling out onto the balcony. Kelly snickered as Nick wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and cursed the table one more time.

“I’m pretty sure that wasn’t there before,” Nick grumbled.

Kelly laughed harder. “I’m pretty sure it was.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re high.”

“Oh, look at the pothead calling the kettle names,” Nick said in a singsong voice as he settled onto the wide chaise beside Kelly. They both laughed harder. Nick pulled the blanket over them, and the warmth of his naked body against Kelly’s was so welcome that Kelly turned into it. A moment later Nick had his arm under Kelly’s neck, giving him a cushion to rest his head on, and he wrapped his arm around Kelly to pull him closer. Their temples pressed together as they both looked up at the night sky.

“Jesus,” Nick muttered. “Even out on the water the stars aren’t like this.”

Kelly hummed in agreement and passed Nick the blunt they’d started on earlier. Nick brought out the lighter he’d retrieved with the blanket.

Kelly wasn’t sure he should have found it sexy to watch Nick light the thing. He’d seen him do it a hundred times before. They were the only members of Sidewinder who appreciated the intricacies of herbal refreshment, so they’d done this together a lot over the years, sneaking away and sitting under the stars to share a hit. But this was the first time Kelly had ever appreciated Nick’s form.

He was falling hard and fast and he didn’t care why or how. Wrapped up in this blanket under the stars, he could admit that. He always fell fast, though, and he knew Nick. Nick could smell someone falling in love from a mile away. Kelly had seen him bolt like a scared whitetail deer more than once, so he’d have to be careful.

Nick took a long drag as he stared up at the sky. His body was relaxing, settling into the lounger and into Kelly. He turned his head, placing the burning tip of the blunt into his mouth. He reached for Kelly’s chin, pulling him until their lips met. Kelly slid his fingertips against Nick’s cheek as they shotgunned the hit. Nick blew smoke into his mouth as their bodies curled together, then he took the blunt and pulled it away, stealing a languid kiss before Kelly got a chance to exhale.

They began to laugh even as the kiss continued. Nick pulled away, and Kelly turned his head to blow smoke into the night, laughing harder.

They lay curled together, sharing the blunt until it was gone and getting higher than the stars they watched, drawing warmth from each other when they probably should have been inside.

“This is good, Kels,” Nick finally murmured.

Kelly turned his head to peer at Nick in the moonlight. He was staring at the sky, the same way he always did when they’d wander off and lie down somewhere and get high.

Kelly grinned. “I grow it myself in the woods out back.”

Nick began to laugh, the sound kicking Kelly off into a fit of giggling too. Nick pulled Kelly closer. He turned his head, pressing his face against Kelly’s. “That’s not what I meant.”

Their lips met, and before Kelly knew what was happening, they were curling around each other, kissing more, their legs tangling, their bodies aligning in ways Kelly had never realized they could.

“This is good,” Kelly whispered. “What do we do about it?”

“Wing it,” Nick growled. “It’s what we’ve always done.”

Kelly nodded. “You promise to fuck me eventually?”

He felt Nick smile into the kiss. “Promise.”

When Kelly woke, the sun was streaming through the loft of the cabin and he was alone in bed. Again. He glanced around. Music was playing downstairs. On the table beside his bed was a bottle of water and his pills all lined in a row, waiting to be taken. There was also a packet of string cheese. A note was propped against the lamp, telling him to call for help before he tried to get out of bed, and to eat the cheese before taking his pills.

Kelly laughed and disregarded the note in every way, throwing his covers off and using the edge of the mattress to pull himself out of bed. He had to sit and gather his strength before he was able to push himself to stand, and once he was up he immediately regretted his intense meeting with the wall last night. But he padded into the bathroom, proud to have done it without having to call for help.

A quick examination in the mirror showed prominent bruises under his chin and around his neck. That was good, he supposed, it meant they weren’t too deep. He also had several red welts where he remembered Nick’s teeth digging in on his shoulder and neck. He found he didn’t care. In fact, he was as proud of those battle injuries as he was of the rest.

He took care of business, giving himself one more look in the mirror before stepping back into the bedroom. Nick was sitting cross-legged on the bed, eating a piece of toast and scrolling through something on his iPad.

“Morning, Irish,” Kelly said, his voice hoarse and scratchy.

“You think I can’t hear you moving around from downstairs?” Nick asked without looking up from what he was reading.

“Are you getting crumbs in the bed?” Kelly asked.

Nick nodded without looking up from what he was reading. “Sheets need washing anyway,” he said as he chewed. He finished what he was doing and raised his head, his eyes raking Kelly up and down as he set the iPad aside.

Kelly shrugged. He shuffled back to the bed, and Nick moved to help him. Kelly tried to swat him away, but Nick easily grabbed his hand and wrapped an arm around him. His chest fluttered. Nick’s scent now reminded him of everything good in the world. He turned at the edge of the bed, looking into Nick’s eyes and putting his arm around Nick’s neck so Nick could help him sit. Nick’s arms tightened around him.

He leaned in and kissed Kelly gently. Kelly could feel him smiling into the kiss, and it made him grin too.

Nick finally let him go, leaving them both gasping. “Good morning.”

“Pretty spectacular one.”

Nick helped him sit, his hands lingering when they probably didn’t need to. Kelly gritted his teeth with the pull in his chest. Mornings were always worse because the painkillers in his system were running low and his body was stiff and stubborn. It was also a little embarrassing not to be able to sit down by himself, but he supposed that was what happened when a bullet tore through you and then you decided you were tougher than your painkillers.

Nick piled the pillows for him, and Kelly rested against the headboard, watching Nick unabashedly.

“You feeling okay?” Nick asked, and the gravel in his voice sent a shiver up Kelly’s spine.

“Not as good as I was last night, unfortunately.”

Nick’s fingers were gentle as he brushed them over Kelly’s neck. “How about you take your pills instead of trying to prove how tough you are?”

Kelly snorted.

Nick moved the breakfast tray he’d brought up so it was beside Kelly on the bed, making sure everything was within arm’s reach, then rounded the bed and crawled into the other side, sitting against the headboard with his iPad.

Kelly crunched down on a piece of bacon. After living together for five years while they’d been stationed at Lejeune, Nick knew exactly how crispy he liked his bacon. He knew a lot of things. Kelly waved his bacon at the iPad. “Anything interesting going on?”

Nick nodded, still chewing. “Ty sent a message earlier saying he was heading back to Baltimore. Digger’s convinced he’s being watched by the CIA. And Owen came out of it smelling like roses and got a fucking Easter bonus. Asshole.”

Kelly chuckled.

“I’ve been suspended,” Nick added after a moment, still smiling at the iPad as he checked his email.

“What?”

“Suspended without pay until they straighten out the warrant for my arrest in Louisiana,” Nick explained, beginning to laugh.

“That’s bullshit,” Kelly muttered.

Nick shrugged it off. “It’s the second time I’ve been in custody in the last year, I’d suspend me too.”

He laughed again and placed the iPad aside, turning to look at Kelly instead. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Kelly said with a nod, taking stock mentally. He nodded again. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Nick hesitated briefly, then said, “I’ve got to write up a steaming pile of bullshit for my captain telling him why I shouldn’t be fired.”

“Go do it,” Kelly said, laughing despite the underlying worry that Nick might actually lose his job.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m going to rest for a bit.”

Nick narrowed his eyes skeptically.

“I’ll call if I need help,” Kelly assured him.

Nick gave him a brief kiss and rolled out of bed, taking his iPad downstairs. Kelly let his mind drift, thinking of Nick, thinking of their past together and the probability of them having a future. It was sudden and it was different, but Kelly still couldn’t see a flaw in it. So what if Nick was famously afraid to move a romantic relationship past the fuck buddies stage? So what if Kelly’d never been with a guy before? Or even been attracted to a guy before.

He’d always acknowledged beauty in other men, but again, he’d never felt attraction. What if it really was the narcotics he’d been on the past few weeks? What if it was the near-death experience and Nick emerging as his caretaker? What if Nick was right and this was just a situational thing? What if the shine rubbed off?

What if they looked up in a week or a month and found that they’d permanently altered the shape of their friendship, a friendship Kelly valued more than anything in the world, all for the whim of a man on the brink of death and high on Percocet?

What if Kelly actually convinced Nick this was a good idea, and got past those defenses Nick had worked his whole life building up, only to decide it was the wrong thing after all? It would crush Nick. Just the thought made Kelly nauseous. They were already on a slippery slope as it was; he needed to be damn sure they could take one more step without the whole cliff giving way.

When he looked up, he remembered he was alone. Nick had music playing low downstairs, obviously thinking it would cover the sounds of him muttering to himself so Kelly would rest. But Kelly couldn’t rest. He needed to solidify this in his mind so he’d stop panicking. He called out for Nick, and soon he heard Nick’s footsteps coming up the steps.

“I think I need to watch some gay porn,” he told Nick as soon as the man reached the top.

Nick stopped short, eyes wide. A look of pure confusion passed over his face before he nodded and turned to head back down the steps. “I’ll get the iPad.”

Kelly was eating his cold bacon when Nick returned, iPad in hand.

“Am I to assume this is you trying to test if you’re actually attracted to men instead of just being a horny stoner?” Nick asked as he crawled into the bed and propped the iPad between them.